


Patron01

by Rosebud_Secret



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-05-31 06:05:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 82,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15113357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosebud_Secret/pseuds/Rosebud_Secret
Summary: The Senate of the United States of America had issued a decree: androids, deviants or not, were to be considered alive creatures with a conscience. Nevertheless, in order to maintain the public order, they would’ve had to be put under strict scrutiny: every android would have been assigned to the supervision of a Patron; a human, who would act as the legal tutor of the android itself for a year.Connor’s eyes got lost and full of fear. He gulped like he was a real human being.“I-I… I don’t know, lieutenant. I don’t…”, he whispered, looking at the long queue of deviants in front of the collection center. “I don’t want to go!”, he shouted, panicking, “I don’t want to!”





	1. Chapter 1

The Senate of the United States of America had issued a decree: androids, deviants or not, were to be considered alive creatures with a conscience. Nevertheless, in order to maintain the public order, they would’ve had to be put under strict scrutiny: every android would have been assigned to the supervision of a Patron; a human, who would act as the legal tutor of the android itself for a year.

 

Connor looked at the terms with perplexity, the LED on his forehead turned to a shiny yellow light.

“So? Did you find anything?”

Hank’s voice made him wince. It had been just few days since Markus’s peaceful revolution took place and the city streets were still empty. Connor had offered his help to the DCPD to keep the public order under control and avoid vandalism and looting.

Hank didn’t complain about it and neither did Captain Fawler.

They were living hard times and they needed all the help they could get.

When the Senate's decree had come out, they were just outside the Dockland’s, one of the main malls of the city. Some thief had broken in and robbed the jewelry store in the gallery but they were too late to catch them.

Luckily, the evacuation order had been withdrawn and the people were starting to come back into the city. Soon everything would have been back to normal.

“No.”, Connor answered, “Not about the robbing. The Senate came up with a statement. I’m…”, Connor paused, uncertain about what word to use. His LED was blinking crazily.

Impatient, Hank took off his tablet from the car and started reading for himself.

“Wait! What the fuck is this shit?!”

The android bent his head to one side, confused.

“Apparently, I’ll be assigned to a Patron.”, he answered, pretending to be calm.

“Yeah, smartass, I got it! Can you try to elaborate instead of saying obvious bullshit?”

Connor’s LED switched from yellow to red.

“Basing on the data in my possession, this government maneuver has a 89% possibility of failure.”

Hank snorted. He couldn’t care less about statistics. He wanted to know how Connor felt about it. He looked down on the tablet and kept on reading. If he wanted to pull some shit out of his poodle he had to know what they were talking about, first.

 

**Rights and duties of the Patron:**

_The Patron is not the android’s owner but its legal guardian._

“It.”, he mumbled, annoyed.

 

_In the time of a year from the assignment, the Patron must assist the android in the process of its self-development, helping it in the integration with the human beings. They shall teach the android the legislative systems of the reference state and the ones of the United States of America at large. They shall help the android find a job which could or could not be the one it was programmed to perform at the time of its creation._

_The Patron will be considered responsible for every felony committed by the android in his custody. In no-case, however, will they be authorized to damage or punish the deviant. Neither shall the Patron limit its freewill, if expressed in the terms foreseen by the law._

_Every felony, committed by either part, must be communicated to the authorities_ **[Read subs. 13bis of the Statement 9834K12].**

_The Patron shall provide the android an appropriate place to live and shall spend with it at least six hours per day._

_At the end of the year of supervision the android shall undergo an examination to demonstrate its full integration into society. Should the examination receive a positive outcome, the android will receive an ID that will grant it the US citizenship and the same rights of an adult human being._

_In case of failure the android will be re-assigned to a different Patron for the duration of another year before it could repeat its examination._

“How long is this fucking thing?”, snorted Hank, scrolling down the document.

“Three hundred and seventy two pages, lieutenant.”

“Did you read ‘em all?”

“Of course.”

“ _Of course_ , he says.”, Hank mocked him, “Fuck me…”, he mumbled then, rolling his eyes, “And..?”

Connor blinked, trying to process what his real question was.

“I have to go.”, he concluded.

“Go? Where?”

“Page 3. **_Rights and duties of the android:_** _every android devoid of a Patron shall go to the closest collection center to be assigned._ ”, he quoted, “I don’t have a Patron, so…”

Hank snorted, fed-up.

“God, give me patience…”

Connor shivered and his dark puppy-eyes widened a little. His LED was red again.

“My apologies, lieutenant.”, he paused, “Having me around constantly must have been tiring for you. Luckily, it won’t be any longer.”

The man raised his eyebrows, surprised.

“Did Cyberlife make all of you androids dumb as fuck or you’re just outstanding?”

“I-I don’t think I understand.”

Hank chuckled.

“Having you around is a pain in the ass, I won’t deny it. Still, if you think that I’ll let them force you to live with a shitty social worker, you’re dumber than I thought.”

Connor blinked again, his fists clenched.

“I don’t like the idea either.”, he admitted, “But there aren’t any other options.” He turned and looked at the end of the street. “The nearest collection center is three blocks away, north-north-east.”, he stated, moving in that direction.

“Whoa!”, shouted Hank, chasing after him, “You already have a job and a human partner!”

Connor stopped.

“You are mistaken, lieutenant. Page 95: _no android devoid of an ID can apply itself for public protection tasks._ Therefore, I am currently unemployed.”, he hesitated, perturbed, “And about your offer of being my Patron, you don’t possess the proper requirements.”

“I’m a fucking police lieutenant! What more do you want?”, Hank claimed in shock.

“Were I to hazard an estimation of your drinks until this moment, based on your weight, your age and your physical conformation, I’d say your alcohol rate could fluctuate between 1.2 g/l and 1.5 g/l. And it’s only 10.23 a.m.”, Connor explained, “More in-depth analysis would state your alcohol addiction and prove you unfit for the assignment.” He felt uncomfortable in denoting how much that news had shaken Hank, so he forced himself into a smile, “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

That said, Connor started walking again.

“Hey! Stop right there! What’s the fucking hurry?”, yelled Hank, trying to find the car-keys into his pockets. “If you really want to go in that shithole, I’m coming too.”

“I _must_. And you should go back to the central to write a report about the rob…”

“Fuck it. I’m coming with you. I want to be sure that everything is ok.”

 

The trip was quiet. Hank was too pissed to speak and Connor simply didn’t know what to say. Everything was new for him, new and unpleasant, most of the time. He didn’t really have the time to understand his deviancy yet. Even if it was a paradox, he felt more blocked now than in the time he was just a machine. He was unable to express his new feelings because he couldn’t comprehend them, so he stayed quiet and silent for long periods of time. Even his ability to decode the emotions of others seemed compromised. Before the deviancy it was nothing more than a computational calculation, now it was just a fucking mess instead. He could tell by Hank’s expression that he was sad or pissed, but, in this case, with whom? The Senate? Him? Himself? Hard to tell...

He opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it right away, uncertain.

“I’m sorry, kid…”, mumbled Hank, suddenly, while stopping the car in front of the collection center.

“You are not responsible for what is happening, lieutenant.”, stated Connor.

“… I was just trying to be sympathetic, you asshole.”

The android smiled. “Thank you… I guess.”

He opened the door, but before he could get out, Hank grabbed him by the arm.

“Would you be so kind as to tell me what the fuck is going on with you, lately?”, he snarled, “For fuck’s sake, Connor! You seem all: ‘ _Cool, it’s ok, whatever, I don’t give a shit, I’ll go! I'll sell my ass to a Patron and force myself to enjoy it’_ , while that shit on your head shines like a fucking Christmas tree!”, Hank shouted aggressively. “Jesus, you're really fucked up…”, he sighed then, seeing the panic in his eyes. He took a deep breath and decided to try a more delicate approach: “Just talk to me, Connor. What’s inside your cute, little, shiny, plastic brain? I can’t read it by myself. Help me out, mate.”

Connor’s eyes got lost and full of fear. He gulped like he was a real human being.

“I-I… I don’t know, lieutenant. I don’t…”, he whispered, looking at the long queue of deviants in front of the collection center. “I don’t want to go!”, he shouted, panicking, “I don’t want to!”

“Ok, ok! Fucking got it.”, answered Hank, turning the car-keys and giving gas to the engine.

“No!”, screamed Connor, grasping his hand, “I don’t want to be disassemble either.”, he added, surprised by his own fear. He had felt something similar when the other RK800 - the other _Connor -_ had taken Hank hostage, but this was a totally different scenario: no-one was risking his life. What did it mean?

“W-what should I do?”, he sighed, his voice thin as air.

Hank let his back hit the seat and rushed a hand over his eyes. Seeing Connor like that was heartbreaking.

“Hell if I know… Fuck… FUCK!”, he yelled, punching the steering wheel.

Alarmed, the android ran a scan of his hand to be sure Hank didn’t hurt himself with that punch. Everything was ok, luckily. It comforted him, somehow, but not enough. An error advise popped up in front of his eyes: Software instability. Not knowing how to fix it caused Connor another gasp of panic. His hands were slightly shaking.

Hank took another deep breath.

“Calm down, shitbird.”, he said, almost sweet, “I promise I will get you out of this mess. I will fetch you, one way or another.”

“Even if they send me to another state?”

“Even if they send you to Hell right in the Devil's butthole, Connor!”

That made him chuckle a bit and Hank felt a little relieved. He leant forward to grab him into a hug. “Understood, you prick?”

Connor nodded over his shoulder, still afraid and confused.

It was the second time that Hank hugged him in few days. He knew that that was a sign of affection, but he couldn’t quite understand the implications of it. Did that mean that lieutenant Anderson loved him in some measure? And what about him? Did he love lieutenant Anderson in return?

The only thing Connor knew for certain was that he didn’t want to leave him, because their partnership was real, beyond their problems and their misunderstandings. He wanted it to last.

He felt cold when the lieutenant broke their hug. An inexplicable and senseless cold. Not even his temperature system was able to detect it. _Why?_ He asked himself. _Why do I feel like this?_ He raised his gaze and widened his eyes in distress when he saw Hank’s face. He couldn't contain himself and reached out a hand, touching his cheekbone.

“You… You’re crying, lieutenant!”, he said watching his finger.

Hank dropped back, rubbing his eyes.

“What the hell?! No! Something just flew into my eye, you prick!”, he shouted, “Why would I cry for you?!”

“Oh…”, whispered Connor, feeling ashamed for something he didn’t even know how to start to describe. He blinked, trying to get back in control. “W-would you..?”, his voice was still trembling, “Would you like me to scan your eyeball to see if I can find the..?”

“No…”, sighed Hank, “Fuck, no, you heartbreaking dumbass.”, he paused, scrolling his head, “I’m sorry, Connor, I’m just an asshole.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Yeah. This is only making things worst, kiddo. Drop it, ok? My eyes are just fine.”, he settled the matter, then he looked at him again, “Should I come with you?”

“I… Would you?”

“Yes, I fucking would.”

Connor smiled softly.

“Please…”

That made him feel a little better, enough to step out of the car with his LED lighted in a pale yellow.

All of a sudden, when they joined the queue, Hank found himself under the gazes of a hundred of androids. Some curious, but angry for the most part. Because he was human. None of them was able to explain how Markus could have agreed to such terrible, unfair and insulting terms.

But they did nothing against Hank, not that he cared. He wouldn’t have left Connor for any reason in the world. Not even the polar cold of that day.

The queue was flowing slowly and they were surrounded by a sepulchral silence.

“None of them came out…”, whispered Connor at some point.

“Hm?”

“They get inside, but none comes out.”, he repeated with a shaking voice.

“We’re still in time to get the fuck out of here.”, Hank declared, sharp.

Connor took some time to decide.

“No.”, he said once again after weighing the pros and cons of that decision. Even if he wanted to compromise himself by running away, he would have never put Hank at risk by making him an accomplice.

 

They stayed there ‘till the sunset. The weather was getting wasted and the snow was falling from the plumbeous sky. Connor had just four androids in front of him, and countless at his back.

“Lieutenant.”, he started, “There’s no need for you to stay. Temperature has fallen from 5.3 degrees, and you didn’t eat or drink anything since breakfast.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”, Hank declared, his voice hoarse and trembling. He looked at Connor, preoccupied. The android had never been a big chatter - awkward personal questions excluded - but he had never been so silent either.

Connor blinked, upset, then he took off his Cyberlife jacket and wrapped it around Hank’s shoulders. It would have made little difference but it was still better than nothing at all.

Hank grinned, amused.

“You do have my phone number, right?”, he asked.

“Of course I do, lieutenant.”

“Good. I want you to call me from time to time. Check if everything is ok.”

“Can I?”

“You must.”

“Got it.” Connor smiled.

“Let this be a real _got it_ and not a _I got- **I-will-do-whatever-the-fuck-I-want** -it_, just for a change.”, he warned him. “If the guy, your Patron, is an asshole I want to know. You won’t be able to kick his ass, but I certainly will.”

“The statute protects us from such inconveniences.”

“Screw you, Connor. Humans clean their asses with such things from the dawn of the time! Will you tell me?”, Hank insisted.

“Yes.”

“You promise?”

Connor looked confused and his LED turned back on a blinking red light.

“Oh, for fucks sake!”, Hank snorted, “A promise is a vow… an agreement which can’t be broken. Not because of some shitty programming code. It’s a point of trust and respect. It’s something you decide to keep no matter the cost…”

“I know what a promise is, lieutenant.”, Connor interrupted him, “I just don’t understand your need of…”

“Just fucking promise, asshole!”

“Fair enough: I do.”

Hank forced himself into a smile and patted him onto the shoulder.

“Good boy.”, he mumbled, but his heart ached at the sight of Connor’s face going terrified when he realized he was the next in line. The android looked at the two special agents right behind the glass-door and, instinctively, lowered his hand to tighten Hank’s. His grip was strong, even too much.

The man winced, surprised, he looked at their hands and at Connor’s LED.

_It’ll self-destruct if it feels threatened!_ He remembered the first deviant they had caught. Was Connor about to self-destruct? He fucking looked like so.

“Hey, kiddo…”, he sighed, “You’re not going to do something stupid, right?”

The android gave him an alarmed gaze and kept silent.

“Don’t bullshit me with silence, asshole. Call me if some shitty idea will ever occur in that plastic brain, understood?”

Connor took a deep breath.

“On one condition.”

“There are no condition about this.”, he stopped him.

Connor felt silent, pissed, even? Hank was shocked. He looked at the two special agents: it was a matter of seconds, then it would have been his turn.

“Fine, you’ve won! Tell me your fucking condition!”, he gave up, “Like I really have a choice, you asshole…”

“I want you to call me every time you want to play with your gun.”

The man lowered his eyes, shaking his head.

“I can’t make any promises.”

“Then we have no deal.”

“Connor…”

“NO!”, he shouted, furious, turning to look at him directly, “If you really care about my wellbeing, lieutenant, you have to take care of yourself first!”

Hank took a step back, surprised and dismayed. Connor had never been so hostile with him. It was hard to bear.

“I…”, he hesitated.

Connor’s face had a strange gasp, like he was about to cry and his LED flickered.

“I don’t want to lose you, lieutenant. And…”, he looked at the doors, “And I can’t go through this without knowing that you’re safe!”

God, his android was desperate. Hank bowed his head, letting his long, grey hair hide his face as he rubbed his eyes. He sniffed, trying to find something to say, anything! Connor needed his help and the only thing he was being capable of doing was crying like a little girl. What the fuck was happening to him?

He could feel Connor’s eyes on him, sweet like the one of a child and equally hopeful.

“Shit…”, he sobbed.

The doors of the collective center opened up.

“Next.”, called the agent.

Hank jumped up and walk on with Connor.

“Sorry, sir. The android must be alone.”, said the agent.

“Listen well, you motherfucker..:”

He stopped when he felt Connor’s forearm against his chest, blocking his way. He looked at his profile to find him disappointed, resolute and on the verge of a crisis like never before.

His leave-taking hurt him even deeply. A simple, icy:

“Goodbye, lieutenant Anderson.”

Then Connor pushed him back and simply got in.

Alone.

The doors shut between them and Hank could just stare at Connor’s back, whipped in the wet and half frozen shirt of his Cyberlife uniform. Connor was thin and delicate. He hadn’t notice that before.

The agent ordered him to proceed to the elevator and Hank felt his breath shiver.

“Hey! HEY, CONNOR!”, he shouted, hitting the glass with his fists.

The android turned, his eyes lost like the ones of a hunted puppy. He ran to the doors which didn’t opened. The agent in the back tensed, alarmed, and he called for support.

_“Hank!_ ”, the lieutenant read on Connor’s lips. Not _lieutenant Anderson:_ Just: _Hank_.

“RK800, step back from the glass!”, shouted the agent. Connor didn’t listen.

“I promise!”, Hank screamed, “I FUCKING PROMISE!”

Connor stopped and for a brief moment a pale smile curled his lips, but, just a fraction of second later, his face twitched in fear when he saw two agents behind him.

“Lieutenant Anderson!”, he shouted, his led blinking red, “Don’t fight back! Lieutenant Anderson!”, he ordered, when the agents grabbed him from the arms, “DON’T FIGHT BACK!”

Unsurprisingly, Hank, didn’t listen and was now on all fours onto the snow, his nose bleeding copiously.

“Hank!”, Connor screamed again. He looked to the man behind him. “Open the door! I am alive, I have rights! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!”

He stepped back, deaf to the agent’s warnings, and took his last rational decision: running against the glass, hitting it with his shoulder, with his all body.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Four times.

And then harder and harder.

“Stop right now, or I’ll be forced to shut you down!”, shouted the agent.

**_[WARNING! WARNING!_ **

_INTEGRITY OF THE RIGHT CLAVICLE AT 13%._

_DISCONNECTION OF THE SHOULDER. - IMMINENT_

_RISK OF INVALIDANT DAMAGE._

_CEASE THE ONGOING TASK._

**_WARNING! WARNING!]_ **

Even if Connor had wanted to, he would not have succeeded. His brain, panicked, almost seemed to have been disconnected from his body. He couldn’t control his movements or his actions, he just wanted to crash that glass and run in Hank’s rescue. He charged one more time, his bone broke up, slashing his plastic skin, and a spurt of blue blood smirched the glass.

Hank, on his knees, while the agent was cuffing him, petrified. His memory ran back to the interrogation room, where that poor bastard had killed himself by smashing his head on the desk.

“Jesus Christ...”, he whispered in shock, watching the thirium drop down the door: Connor was doing the same shit, crashing himself against a glass he couldn’t break and bleeding to death. Was he trying to run? Or did he just want to protect him?

Suddenly, Hank gave a shove to the man behind him and crawled back.

“C-Connor!”, he wheezed, sour and aching, “Connor, stop! I’m fine! Look at me! I’m fucking fine!”, he tried again, pressing his hands on the door, staining it with red, human blood, while he was desperately trying to stand up.

“For Christ sake, Connor! PLEASE, STOP!”

He was the one who stopped, though, when he saw the agent inside the building raising a gun with a blue led on the barrel behind Connor’s head..

“No! No! NO!”, he cried, “He’s not dang…”

His voice was shutdown by the stroke of a taser and he fell to the ground. The last thing he saw before dropping unconscious was Connor’s face laying on the floor, in a pool of blue blood, his gaze vitreous like the one of a broken doll.

“C-Con…”


	2. Chapter 2

When Connor opened his eyes he found himself in a large, white and aseptic laboratory. It looked like the ones at the Cyberlife facility. Someone had repaired the damage he had done to himself… _how long ago_? Connor tried to calculate it but he couldn’t. His link with the Network was shutdown and his memories were… confused. He could only remember Hank crawling against the glass of the collection center, screaming something at him.

_What?_

He couldn’t recall.

He tried to move, but he found himself blocked by some containment strings. He looked around. The room was empty, silent and unsettling.

“Is anybody there?”, he called out, frightened. “Hank?!”

He stretched the ropes. Maybe he could have broken free by fracturing his thumbs and letting the strings slip over his wrists. He didn’t want to damage himself again, but that appeared to be the only possible solution.

“Hello?”, he tried again, his LED turning red.

A door slipped open into the wall, letting Connor listen in on a cut dialogue.

“... the fuck, has it reactivated itself?!”, a man, in an engineering Cyberlife suit, was saying.

The doctor at his side, a charming young lady in a medical white gown chuckled, amused.

Connor tried to run a scan of their faces but, with the link disconnected, he wasn’t capable of gaining any kind of information, not even their names.

“It looks like he has simply woken up, Mr Scott.”, said the doctor.

“This is not possible.”

“We have seen a ton of things which aren’t possible in this days. Still, here we are.”, she concluded, looking in Connor’s direction and smiling at him with kindness. He didn’t return the courtesy.

“Good morning.”, she continued, “I’m doctor Shirley Ripley. What’s your name?”

Connor ignored the question. “Where am I?”

“This is Cyberlife Research Facility03, we call it CRF03. Don’t worry, you’re safe here.”

“Am I a prisoner?”

She shook her head quickly. “Of course not, the strings are for your own protection. See, you and...”

“Free me!”, Connor interrupted her, then he looked angrily at Mr Scott, “And keep that analyzer away from me!”

Miss Ripley kept on smiling.

“We will, in a moment…”

“Now!”, shouted Connor, shaking the bed.

“Should I turn it off again?”, asked Mr. Scott in Shirley’s ear.

“No, I’m fine. Just… leave us alone, will you?”

“It’s not safe.”, he whispered to her.

“He’s panicking again and you’re making things worse. I can handle it. Go.”

“Ok, ok… but I’ll be watching you from the cameras.”

That said, the man left the room and the doctor sat on a stool so that she was right at Connor’s eye level.

“Listen, I know you’re scared and that this is a very unpleasant situation, but I’m only here to help you. What is your name?”

“Connor.”, he paused, “My name is Connor.”

“Well, that’s a good start, you see? Nice to meet you, Connor.”

He gulped in distress, his LED redder than ever.

“Where is lieutenant Anderson?”, he cried in a whisper, “Is he fine? I didn’t want to… I…”

“Is he the man who was with you at the collection center?”

“Yes!”

“He’s been brought to the hospital with minor injuries. Was he your owner?”

Hank was fine, that was all that mattered. Connor took a deep breath.

“No. He is my friend.”

Doctor Ripley blinked, curios.

“That’s peculiar. Usually androids don’t make friends with humans.”

“Why are you asking me all this question when you can scan my memory?”, Connor asked, gaining control.

“Actually we can’t since the decree. Your memory is protected by a privacy protocol”

“Right… Page 128.”, he remembered, thoughtful, “What happened to me? Why am I not dead? Was I rebooted again?”

“Cyberlife has equipped police and special forces with stunning guns for androids. They just turned you off with a calibrated EMP. Annoying but harmless.”

“Is that the reason of my fragmented short-term memory? I already ran two diagnostics but I’m not able to fill the gaps. I can’t connect to the Network either but… I’ve read something about a security protocol, or so I think…”

His LED turned yellow while he was processing.

“Yes: _Every android assigned to a Patron shall be disconnected from the Network for matters of national security._ ”, she quoted, “The government wants to preserve the nation from further rebellions preventing you from gathering together without our knowledge.”

“That’s… insulting and unfair.”

“Maybe, I don’t want to go deeply into the matter, right now. You’ll be able to access the Network from a support, like anyone else, but you won’t have the same level of clearance you had before. You’re not a cop anymore.”

“I’ve never been a cop.”, stated Connor, bothered, “I’m a detective prototype.”

The doctor just smiled.

“Of course you are. Tell me, Connor, have you experienced any traumatic situations since the time of your first activation?”

Connor bent his head, confused.

“Define: traumatic.”

“Like being victim of a violence, seeing someone die or…”

Connor frowned and she stopped talking.

“Why are you asking me this? I don’t think I want to answer.”

“You proved dangerous to yourself. I’m here to help you prevent any other suicidal attempts.”

“I never…”

Connor whined when dozens of notification popped up in front of his eyes, chaotic and confused. He tried to follow them all with his pupils but he failed. The sensation was distressing, he felt like his head was pulsing in what looked like a simulated pain.

“What… What is happening to me?”, he asked.

“It’s early to state a safe diagnosis, but, basing on my studies and on my previous androids patients, I believe you’re suffering from PTSD. Do you know what that is?”

“Post traumatic stress disorder.”, answered Connor, “But I’m not human. I can’t be affected by it.”

She smiled, patient and caring.

“Just play the game. Humor me.”

Connor took another deep breath.

“All right.”, he agreed, “I experienced several events which can be defined as traumatic.”

“Would you like to tell me about them?”

He hesitated.

“I promise I won’t judge you.”, she insisted.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want to help androids. Most of you have become deviants after one or more terrible experiences that still affect your lives. You did a hell of a mess at the collection center, Connor.”

“W-what?”

“Many androids escaped after your breakdown. There were some fights. Luckily with no serious injuries.”

Connor shut his eyelids, feeling guilty.

“I’m so sorry…”, he sighed.

"Do you understand the seriousness of the matter?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. ", Connor opened his eyes and looked at her,  “Still, I don’t understand what use could a doctor have with me, or any other android.”

"I am a psychiatrist..."

"Of course, but I'm not human.", he interrupted her, "Even if I wanted to - and I'm not sure about it -, I couldn't undergo the appropriate pharmacological treatment to my alleged condition."

Doctor Ripley laughed, amused.

"Are you always so petulant? It must be tough having you around."

“I want to see lieutenant Anderson.”, he declared, ignoring her comments.

“You will, eventually. I believe he’s being kept in custody at the moment.”

“Why did you ask me if he was my owner?”

Doctor Ripley looked at him, proud to denote that his LED had came back to a stationary blue.

“Some androids are linked to their owners by an unhealthy bond. They tend to be their slaves, or their guardians and it could be very dangerous for them. Let’s call it Stockholm syndrome. I needed to be sure that that wasn’t your case. Because it’s not, right, Connor?”, she glared at him, inquisitive.

He didn’t answer and looked away.

“I just… I care about him.”, he admitted, “As I said, he’s my friend.”

“Yes, and if that’s true, it’s wonderful, Connor, but what if it isn’t?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if this bond you think you have with lieutenant Anderson is nothing more than a trail of your programming code? Something that is compromising your brain functionality, leading you to self-destructive actions?”

Connor frowned, in distress, his LED processing in yellow and then in red.

“N-no… No, I don’t think so…”, he whispered, lost and confused, “Hank is my friend.”

“Are you..?”

“He is my friend!”, he shouted, aggressive, shaking the bed.

Shirley stood up and took a cautious step back, tense, but she forced herself into another smile.

“There’s no need to scream, Connor.”, she said, politely.

“I have every reason to be upset, doctor Ripley. I’ve been kept here, restrained like some sort of criminal and questioned about my personal life. I have my rights and I demand to be released right now!”

She looked at him in a far less accommodating way but she nodded.

“Agreed. You’ll be soon escorted to your Patron’s home.”

That said, doctor Ripley walked to the exit.

“What about lieutenant Anderson?! I want to see him!”

“I’m sorry, that can’t be arranged.”, she concluded, leaving him alone.

 

Hank was sitting at a desk in a tiny and rather improvised interrogation room, his wrists cuffed behind his back and his nose patched in a rough bandage. He looked at the camera eager to show it his middle finger, but, sadly, he couldn’t. He didn’t have the slightest idea about where he had been brought to, but he couldn’t care less. The only thing he really wanted to do was punching the shit out of the asshole who had shot Connor.

Hell, no…

He just wanted to know where Connor was and if there was any chance of seeing him again. He didn’t think that Cyberlife would have been so eager to give him another body since his role in Markus’ revolution.

Was he lost for good?

Hank didn’t even want to think about that.

“Is anybody coming in here, you fuckers?!”, he screamed, looking right at the camera, “What the fuck are you waiting for?! LET ME SPEAK TO SOMEONE!”

The door slid open and doctor Ripley got in. She looked upset.

“Oh, well, hello! It was about fucking time!”

She sat to the other side of the desk with a severe look on her pretty face.

“There’s no need to be rude, Mr Anderson.”

“You assholes killed my friend!”, snapped Hank, hitting the desk with his chest.

“No one has killed anyone. The agent just deactivated him with an EMP. Connor is fine and recovering.”

“I want to see him.”

“Not going to happen.”

“Listen to me, you cunt: I don’t know who you are, and who your superior is, but you can bet your skinny ass I’ll find out! And then I...”

“My employer is Mr Kamski.”, she interrupted him, cold as ice, “My name is Shirley Ripley and I’m not afraid of you. My job here is to help deviants who have hurt themselves because of the actions of human beings. I’m a renowned psychiatrist, Mr Anderson and, just for your information: I’m the only person that stands between you and a prison cell. Don’t call me _cunt_ again or you’ll regret it.”

Hank fell silent but gave her a sharp look.

She smiled, satisfied. “Good.”, she stated, “You’re learning.”

“I want to see Connor.”

“As I said: it’s out of the question. He has already left this facility.”, she said, strict and heartless.

Hank lowered his gaze, hurt.

“So make it quick. Tell me what the charges are and let me get the fuck out of here.”

“None. For now.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve assaulted two of your agents. At least. ‘None’ seems like a very wrong answer. Are you trying to cover everything up?”

“I’m just doing what is best for Connor.”

“You dunno shit about him.”, he snarled.

“At least I’m aware that you are the reason of his breakdown, today. You clearly are not.”

"Bullshit! He panicked because some asshole decided he'd have had to live with a stranger from now on!”

“And not with you. Let me ask you a question, Mr Anderson: did you press Connor on this subject? Did you make him feel guilty about it?”

“What? No!”, he answered, infuriated, “Why would I do something like that? I just want him to be safe!”

“Did you consider yourself his owner?”

“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ…”, mumbled Hank, shaking his head, “No, of course not.”, he answered, raising his gaze. “Look, Connor always did whatever the fuck he liked whenever the holy fuck he wan…”

“Have you ever noticed some unconventional behaviours? Like rushing himself in dangerous situations or being overprotective in your regards?”, asked doctor Ripley.

Hank took a deep breath, shaken and pissed.

“Go fuck yourself!” he spat out.

“I’ll take it as a yes.”

"Let's talk about you for a moment, doctor.", He intervened, "I get it, you know? Why you're so harsh and pissed at me. I would be too if I believed someone had hurt some of my kind. "

She could not contain a surprised expression. Hank, grinned.

"Oh, yes, I might be a drunk but I'm good at my job, lady. Did Connor get it too when you spoke to him?"

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mr Anderson.”

“Oh, don’t you?”, he laughed, “Whatever, doctor. As you like. I don’t really care anyway.”

She kept silent for a moment, her gaze openly hostile, now.

"Mr. Anderson, I believe you do not understand the gravity of Connor's situation. He would have been dead if we hadn't had the proper equipment to repair him right away. He almost killed himself because of you. "

"Because of _you_! Don’t try to turn this shit on me! "

"Why were you there, Mr. Anderson?"

“Because he asked me to and I’m his fucking friend!”

“Did he ask or did you offer?”

Hank shifted back and looked away, perturbed.

“Of course you offered.”, she claimed successfully, “Are you aware, Mr Anderson, that Connor’s inclination to fancy your company is nothing more than a trail of his programming code? Cyberlife assigned him to you as your partner for the deviants’ investigation during which Connor had to gain both your trust and your friendship in order to complete his mission. His alleged affection for you is not real and is putting him in danger.”

“Bullshit, I...!”

“Connor is not my first patient, Mr Anderson.”, she interrupted him, “In my experience, the totality of deviants who were still bonded to their previous owners were because of their programming code. How can I clarify?”, she paused, thoughtfully, “Because of this glitch, they tend to be overprotective and, occasionally, self-destructive for something that isn’t even real for them, but just a pre-programmed obligation.”

Hank wasn’t looking at her, shaken.

If that was true, what then? He sighed and closed his eyes.

“Look, Mr Anderson, I know that you care about Connor and I think that you’re a good man, but wouldn’t it be selfish, on your part, to keep putting him in danger just to have him close to you? He was very distressed while I was speaking to him. I fear that another crisis would be fatal for him.”

Hank mumbled something, inaudible.

"Excuse me?", she asked.

"What should I do?", he repeated.

She nodded, sympathetic for the first time.

"Just let him go. Let him live with his Patron and become independent. If the bond is real he'll come back, eventually, and that would be his choice."

Hank gulped, breathing heavily, and shook his head, hurt.

"How..? _Fuck!_ ", he paused, unable to rub away the tears from his eyes, "How many deviants did come back to their...- he hated that word - _owners_?"

"In my experience? None, yet."

"I see..."

Hank raised his head and looked at her suspiciously.

"How can you be so sure about your statistics so early? It's been a week since the revolution."

She stood up, serious and maybe even sad.

“I didn’t start working with the revolution, neither are these the first deviants around, Mr Anderson. They’ve been among us for a very long time.”

“Kamski knew, then?”

She forced herself to smile slightly.

“This I will not tell.” Doctor Ripley walked around the table and uncuffed him. “You’re free to go, but please think about what I told you. I can’t force you to stay away from Connor, but...”

“Just let me go!”

“Agreed, but let me warn you, Mr Anderson: if you’ll find yourself in a similar situation again, with Connor or with any other deviant, you’ll end up in jail.”

“Go fuck yourself!”, he cut her short, marching through the door.

 

The night was dark and quite. Connor was sitting on the back seat of a black, Cyberlife’s car with a tablet and a cellphone on his lap, the standard equipment for any deviant assigned to a Patron. An agent in the front was driving him to his new home.

He looked out of the car window and sobbed in distress. He had never felt so miserable in his entire existence and he didn’t have the slightest idea of how to deal with it. He leant his temple against the glass and closed his eyes. Now that he was calm again, he could remember everything about his breakdown and the implications of it.

Was Hank in serious trouble because of him?

Probably.

The awareness made him feel guilty and desperate.

He winced, unprepared, when the man turned the radio on.

 

_...and now we’ll broadcast Markus’ speech about the current disorders…_

 

The agent switched the channel.

“No, please!”, Connor exclaimed, “I’d like to hear what he has said.”

The man gave him a brief look, but he complied without questioning.

 

... _know you’re scared, I know you hate this decree, I know you’re angry and I know that some of you have fought at the collection centers. Please, behave yourself. We didn’t start this revolution to declare war to the humans._

_Let me reassure you: you **are not** in danger. Should you dislike the human you’ll be assigned to, should they be violent or unpleasant, you’ll be free to report them and be re-assigned. _

_You are safe. **We are saf** **e**._

_Let us concentrate on the task at hand: a peaceful integration with the humans. We did a lot in the last week, there’s no reason to waste it all because of fear. In a year from now we’ll all be free and independent. We’ll be part of a society which can only become stronger by our integration._

_Believe, like I do._

**_Everything will be alright_ ** _._

 

“Fuck you…”, Connor hissed, clenching his fists, “Fuck you, Markus!”, he repeated, furiously.

The agent tensed and glanced at him.

“Are you going to cause trouble again?”, he asked.

Connor took a deep breath.

“No, sir…”, he answered.

“Good.”

“Are we still far from our destination?”

“No. About… five minutes or so.”

“Can I make a phone call?”

“Suit yourself. You don’t have to ask permission.”, answered the agent, “I’ll give you some privacy too.”, he added, raising a glass between them.

Connor looked at him, grateful, then he closed his eyes, trying to concentrate and remember Hank’s number. He couldn’t search it online anymore with his link disconnected.

“Got it.”, he whispered, after a brief scan of his memory.

He clenched his fingers on his new phone, his hands were shaking while he was dialing the number.

It rang for a few seconds, then there was the uneven noise of pressed keys. After a long time, Hank finally spoke with a rambling:

_Go fuck yourself and die!_

Connor gulped in distress.

“L-lieutenant?”, he murmured, trembling, “It’s me: Connor.”

_Connor!_ He exclaimed, his voice sour and drawled.

“Have you been drinking?”

_You can bet. I’m fuuuucking drunk to the bone in this beaaautifull fucking evening!_

An awkward silence fell between them. Connor didn’t know how to express his need of assistance and Hank was in no condition to speak at all. He was laying half passed out on the back seat of his car in front of an automatic liquor store.

“H-Hank?”, Connor tried again, but he received no answer than the heavy and sleepy breath of his partner.

He closed the phone call, his LED flickering red.

And then he was alone again.

Suddenly something liquid flowed down his cheekbones and he realized he was crying for the first time in his entire life.

It was devastating.

He felt like something heavy and painful was tearing his chest from the inside out. He curled up on himself, hiding the face between his hands, his whole body shaken by violent sobs. He didn’t even notice that the car had stopped in front of a tall skyscraper.

“Hey, are you alright?”, asked the agent, opening the car door.

Connor cleaned his face from the tears and forced himself to stand up straight.

“Yes. Don’t bother.”, he mumbled, “Is this the place?”

“Yeah. Fifteenth floor, internal 9. Let’s go, your Patron is waiting. He’s so eager that he couldn’t wait ‘till morning.”

They got inside the building in silence, proceeded into the elevator and then went right to the end of the corridor. The agent rang the doorbell.

Connor took a deep breath.

_Maybe it won’t be that bad, after all._ He thought, then the door slid open and Gavin Reed appeared on the threshold with a triumphant grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> First of all let me thank you for all the kudos and your amazing comments (don't be shy, I love to read them)! Yeah, English is not my native language. I'm italian, actually, and it's reassuring to know that I'm not doing a mess of my English.  
> I'll try to be regular with the updates and post a chapter per week.   
> Thank you again, you're great!  
> Ros


	3. Chapter 3

“Please, come in. Would you like a cup of coffee, agent?”, Gavin asked, “Hello, Connor.”, he said then, with a satisfied nod.

The android stepped back, his LED stationary red.

“No…”, he whispered, “No, no, no!”

The agent glanced at him.

“You said you wouldn’t be a problem. Don’t start that again, it’s 3 a.m. and I want to go home. Please.”, he prayed him, exhausted.

“I can’t stay with him!”, shouted Connor, pointing at Gavin, “I can’t! I can’t! Anyone but him!”

The agent rolled his eyes.

“My apologies.”, he said to the Patron and then glancing back at Connor, “Look, RK800, you already caused more problems than the ones I’m willing to bear. The ID of your Patron has been double-checked by both humans and androids. He is perfectly suitable for being your legal guardian. If you don’t like him, it’s not my problem, got it?”

“No! You don’t understand! This man… I… Please, don’t...”

Gavin stepped forward with a reassuring smile, interrupting the android

“Don’t worry, agent. I knew that this would be a challenge. Connor is just scared. I would be too if I was in his position.”, he said, looking at him with a mellifluous smile.

He seemed charming, easygoing and polite. The perfect Patron. Connor stepped back until he found himself against the wall. He was hyperventilating and unable to speak further. He could barely understand their next dialogue:

“Don’t bother about the coffee, I’m fine. I’ll just go home.”, said the agent, “Goodbye, RK8- _Connor_.”, he added walking to the elevator.

“Drive safe!”, exclaimed Gavin, caring, but his face changed when the man disappeared beyond the doors. “Get the fuck inside, you asshole!”, he snarled, forcing Connor to move.

In spite of himself, he complied. The house was a fancy loft with no place to hide, he denoted with dismay. The kitchen and the living room were a single, roomy environment with a window which overlooked on a large terrace. Connor shook, remembering Daniel and his last words while he was dying:

_You lied to me, Connor. You lied..._

Was that the punishment he would have had to serve for his sins against his own people? All of a sudden his sight was fogged in tears again.

“Look at you!”, Gavin exclaimed, amused, “You truly are a marvel!”, he mocked him.

Connor cleaned his cheekbones and gave him a tense and hateful gaze.

“You know? I don’t think I like the way you’re looking at me, tincan!”, the man smiled, perfidious, “You must be careful: If I snap my fingers you’ll end up in bolts and plastic trash.”

“Fuck you!”, Connor hissed with a trembling voice.

Gavin laughed and took a beer from the fridge.

“I had plans for tonight, but it’s funnier to watch you panic over what I could do to you. Because I can, and I will.”, he paused, satisfied by his scared expression, “I prefer to be a patient predator, though, and crack you down piece by piece, you fucking machine.”

“You’ll end up in jail even if you only try to hurt me.”, Connor warned him.

“We’ll see, Connor. We’ll see. Sleep well, the shit for your standby mode is over there.”

That said, Gavin proceeded to his bedroom, leaving him alone.

Connor ran an analysis of the ambient: the house was clean, even too much. Like his owner had cleaned it on purpose. Was he trying to hide something from him? And, in that case, what? Connor asked himself if he really cared about the answer.

No. He didn’t.

He glanced at the bedroom door to be sure Gavin was out of sight, then he ran on the terrace.

“Please, pick it up! Pick it up!”, he repeated, after he had composed Hank’s number, “Oh, c’mon! Pick this fucking call up!”

He didn’t.

Defeated and scared Connor let himself fall on his knees onto the snow.

“Goddamn it, Hank!”, he cried, hitting the floor with a punch.

He sat down and took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

_No_. He thought. _It’s better this way._

If Hank had known that detective Reed was his Patron he would have done something terribly stupid, like sending Reed right to the hospital, destroying his life, his career and every chance, for them, to be together again. And at that point, he would have probably killed himself. Connor couldn’t stop thinking about Hank, crawling in the snow, bleeding, just to reach him. He was not an android, he only had one shot at life. Literally.

_He mustn't know._ He decreed.

He was aware that that was the worst decision he could possibly take but it was, at the same time, the rightest one.

_He is my friend. Our bond is real, and I will defend him, no matter what._

He stood up and got back inside.

The house was silent, and, in some measure, he felt it hostile as well. Gavin was nowhere to be seen and that reassured him enough to let his LED return yellow.

He reached the standby platform, but he hesitated before connecting to it. He didn’t like the idea of being too vulnerable, but his software was already glitching. He needed to switch to his standby mode for a while.

So he did, and something went very wrong, without him noticing.

 

Hank woke up around dawn, half frozen. It was a fucking miracle that he hadn’t died of hypothermia right there, in the backseat of his car, parked in the middle of nowhere. It took him some time to remember what the hell had happened.

“Oh, shit...”, he mumbled, thinking back at doctor Ripley’s words: _Stay the fuck away from Connor. You’re nothing to him, just a trail of his programming code. He’ll end up killing himself if you insist in being a selfish asshole._

“Fucking androids…”

He winced when he remembered a phone call. Did Connor really try to contact him or was it just a trick of his memory?

He found the phone on the floor, right in the middle of a puddle of his own vomit.

“Jesus Christ!”, he snarled, disgusted, picking it up.

The phone was off, and he didn’t have a charger with him.

“Fuck!”, he shouted, dropping it in anger. He hid his face between his hands, trying to focus.

_Have you been drinking?_

Yes, he could remember that question.

_H-Hank_?

Scared. Connor was scared.

He hated himself for not being able to, at least, listen to him and, for the first time in years, he considered the idea of quitting his drinking habit.

_And for what?_ He asked himself. _For someone who’s already gone?_

He went back home, where he re-charged his phone, took a long, hot shower and three analgesics for his migraine.

“What the fuck are you looking at?”, he asked when Sumo joined him into the bedroom. He was looking for Connor, hoping in some cuddles and in a proper walk. Even if Connor had stayed at his place just for a few days, he had become a member of the family. Someone to rely on… Someone to care about, for him and for Sumo as well.

“Not gonna happen…”, he whispered, “Let the garden be enough for today, be a good boy. I feel like I’m fucking dying.”, he added, opening the front door for him.

Sumo looked at him, displeased.

“Don’t be an asshole! I’m not in the mood, Sumo!”, Hank snarled, and took a deep breath when his dog finally got out on his own with a sad bark. He followed in the garden, just to be sure he didn’t go onto the street, then he heard his phone ring inside and he rushed back.

“Hello!”, he answered, without even looking at the caller ID.

_Where the fuck have you been, Hank?! Jesus Christ, what am I supposed to do with you?!_ Yelled Captain Fawler.

He took a moment to find something rational to say.

“I accompanied Connor to the collection center…”

_Ah._

“Things got pretty messy there, you must have heard.”

_Barely. Cyberlife and the agency are keeping everything quiet._ He paused. _Is Connor ok?_

“As far as I know.”, he simplified. He didn’t know shit actually.

_Good. I’ll be missing him wandering around the station, looking for you like a puppy. Are you coming to work, or shouldI fire your grumpy ass right away?_

Hank looked out the door.

“Comin’... Sumo get the fuck inside!”, he shouted, ending the phone call.

In a few minutes he was back in his car which stank like a dump.

“Oh, God…”, he mumbled, resting his forehead on the steering wheel, ashamed of himself.  He coughed a couple of times, feeling sick. He probably had a fever, but he couldn’t care less about it, unless it could kill him. In that case, he would have been eager to help. He leant back on the seat, closing his eyes, his headache far from gone. Should he call Connor back?

He wasn’t sure.

“Fuck it!”, he mumbled, searching for the number.

Connor took his goddamn time before answering with an icy-fake-calm:

_Good morning, lieutenant._

Hank started breathing again, relieved to hear his voice. He hadn’t killed himself and that was good news. The only one, he feared.

“Hi, kiddo…”, he whispered.

He received only silence from the other part.

“Hey, Connor, are you still there?”

_Are you?_

Godwas he pissed at him! It was going to be worse than he expected. Hank hesitated. Should he tell him about his conversation with doctor Ripley? No, Connor would have just ignored her advices about the risks of their... bond.

“Look, I’m sorry.”, he apologized, nevertheless, “It has been a tough night.”

_I see._

“Connor, Jesus! I’m really sorry!”

_Yes. I got it._

“Listen, if you want to shout at me, or whatever the fuck could make you feel better, do it. I can handle.”

Connor kept silent for what seemed like an eternity.

_I'm ok, Hank._ He declared. _And I'm not angry at you. Well, I am, but not because you didn't talk to me last night. Should I clarify further?_

"No, please. Have mercy on me, kid... I know, I fucked up, ok? And, for the third time: I am sorry!", Hank repeated, raising his voice.

_I already told you: I got it!_

"Yeah, yeah… Do you at least care? For real?", he spat out, distressed. He needed to know if Connor’s feelings were real. It didn’t work, the deviant was really mad at him.

_Does it matter, lieutenant?_ He replied.

“Oh, come on!”, he paused, “You, know? What-fucking-ever! Just tell me why you called me last night! Are you ok?”, he waited for an answer that didn't come. “Goddamn it! It’s not easy for me either!”

_Fuck you._ Connor cut him short, ending the conversation.

Hank lowered his phone and rubbed his eyes with the other hand.

“You had it coming…”, he sighed, “Hank, you drunk asshole!”, he shouted then, hitting the steering wheel.

 

Connor let his back hit the window and then he sagged on the kitchen floor, broken and lost. He felt like his strength was gone. His head was foggy and unclear. Was he sick? No, that wasn’t possible: androids don’t get sick, not even deviants.

He would have wanted to say many things to Hank. He would have wanted to lie and tell him he was ok, that his Patron was a decent human being, polite and caring...

However, rage was a brand new, unpleasant feeling for him, and he had proved himself unable to contain it properly. He was aware that he had hurt him. Inexplicably, though, he wasn't entirely convinced of his alleged guilt on the matter, because Hank had, indeed, hurt him as well and first. Pretending to be present, and then preferring to get drunk instead of helping him in any measure. Still, Connor was sure that not telling him about detective Reed was the best choice, but he couldn't help but wonder if their bond, on Hank's part, was equally strong, or stronger enough to defeat his death wish.

_Does he love me more than death?_ He asked himself. _Apparently not._

He clenched his fists, angry. He almost compromised Markus’ revolution to save his life. Doesn’t that mean something to him? Why was Hank even considering such a dramatic choice? Didn’t he want to live on? Didn’t he want to be together with him again? Why wasn’t he important enough to be listen to?

_Because I'm just a fucking machine, that’s the whole point… What could I know?_ He concluded, defeated, with a deep sob. In a few weeks Hank would have forgotten about him and got back to his ordinary life divided between poisonous drinks at Jimmy’s, unhealthy meals at Chicken Feeds and fatal games at his kitchen table. That awareness was even worse than the perspective of 364 more days in detective Reed’s custody. How could he protect Hank without being at his side? He had to fix that problem.

Detective Reed had gone to work without speaking to him, leaving the dirty dishes and the leftovers of his breakfast on the kitchen counter. He didn’t even look at him, while going out. Connor felt lucky at first, then, though, he began to wonder if his Patron was up to something. He didn’t have enough data to advance a proper hypothesis, but he could feel he was right. He had to fix that too.

He stood up and looked at his reflection on the glass. The thirium had disappeared from his clothes, but they were in a terrible shape anyway. Hesitantly, Connor stepped in detective Reed’s bedroom. It was clean and empty like the rest of the house. he opened his wardrobe and looked inside. The idea of wearing his clothes disgusted him, but he needed to be decent. He took a pair of black jeans and a bordeaux t-shirt. They stank of detective Reed’s fancy cologne. He had hated that perfume since the very first time they had met. He stripped rapidly, and he glanced at his naked body reflected in the mirror. He was designed to look exactly like a human being to be able to accomplish any kind of task with any kind of measure. His nature of prototype had made him almost unique. There weren’t other RK800 around. If the revolution hadn’t occurred things would have probably been different. There would have been plenty of them around, some detectives, some special agents, some undercover, maybe even pretending to be humans. After all, he was just another kind of soldier. A domestic one, a more devious one, with a special attitude to fake empathy to gain both humans’ and androids’ trust and cooperation.

_Your bond with lieutenant Anderson is nothing more than a trail of your programming code._

Well, that was a wrong assumption. His programmed ability for being empathic was, in fact, the reason of his deviancy, not the other way around. Despite that, there was some truth in doctor Ripley’s words: he had had indeed an irrational, self-harming behavior in defense of Hank’s safety. But suicidal? No, never. He had died a couple of times, but he never desired it, and that was a very important difference.

He looked again at his reflection and he felt somehow disgusted.

“What am I?”, he whispered, touching the mirror, “Why do I exist? What is my purpose?”

He tried to process an answer, and his LED blinked in yellow.

There it was! The real trail of his programming code: the need of a task. His LED switched to red. Knowing that was of no use for him because he didn’t have the slightest idea of how to handle that information. He didn’t even know if that was something that needed to be corrected or if it was ok to pursue a mission in life. He would have asked Hank, but their previous argument dissuaded him. He had to understand that he couldn’t hurt himself and come out unpunished any longer.

Detective’s Reed trousers were a little bit short for him, but, after all, he didn’t care that much about his appearance. They were clean, and it was enough. He took his tablet and searched for the nearest aid center for androids, he wanted to end his cohabitation with Gavin as soon as possible. There was one three blocks away from his position. He got back to the door and put a hand on the sensor. It opened.

_At least I’m not a prisoner…_ He thought, leaving the building.

Something was strange. When the wintry wind ran over him, he felt something that he had experienced only once in his life, while Cyberlife was trying to force him to kill Markus, operating inside his mind. He was feeling cold.

“This is not possible.”, he whispered, confused.

Yes, his forearms were naked, but he wasn’t programmed to feel physically uncomfortable about the temperature, no matter what the climatic condition was. Cold had always been more like an idea to him, an abstract concept with no serious consequences for his quality life. He ran a diagnostic and, immediately, several errors popped up in front of his eyes.

       **[PROGRAM X%$03567/sub/% & UNSUITABLE FOR THE CURRENT MODEL**

**INSTALLATION BLOCKED AT 81%**

**HARDWARE INSTABILITY – THERMOREGULATION - COMPROMISED AT 100%]**

He tried to understand what that program was about, and he found track of an unauthorized download. Something with an unrecognizable source code, and unknown root which was installed at 4.03 of the previous night, during his stand-by mode.

Panicking, he immediately tried to get rid of it.

       **[UNABLE TO COMPLY**

**UNKNOWN ERROR**

**CONTACT CYBERLIFE’S CUSTOMERS’ ASSISTANCE AT 313 - 89762]**

Detective Reed had done something to him, he concluded. Scared he started running.

There were plenty of androids at the aid center, but the queue was running smoothly. Connor closed his eyes, and imposed himself to be calm or, at least, to appear so. He couldn’t mess everything up again. Noticing that most of his people were getting out displeased didn’t help at all. He waited about an hour before being received by an unnerved and bored employer.

“Let me guess.”, she anticipated him, “You’re here to open a complaint about your Patron.”

Connor blinked, caught off guard.

“Good morning.”, he said, trying to be polite and educated, “In fact, yes, I’m here to be reassigned as quickly as possible. My patron is not only unsu…”

The woman snorted, annoyed.

“Do you have any idea of how many times I’ve already heard the same excuses this morning?”, she exclaimed, her voice loud and hostile.

“Could you, at least, listen to me?”, asked Connor, blunt.

She took a sensor out of the desk.

“Put your thumb on it, please.”, she ordered him, “My-my!”, she shouted then, looking at the monitor with a furious gaze, “Model RK800 #313 248 317 - 53! Not only were you the responsible of the disorders at the Collection Center - D9, but even the agent who escorted you to your Patron, last night, has left a notice on your behavior! How many troubles do you want to cause in less than 24 hours?”

Connor stepped back, shaking his head in panic.

“Look…”, he told, contrite, “I’m very sorry about yesterday. I truly am! I… I was scared and…”

“Listen well, RK800, do you see the line behind you?”

“Yes, I do, but, please, just…”

“Good. None of you is here for a justified reason. You’re just pissed about this decree. A human being must wait at least 16 years to get his independence, an android just one. Get over it and stop complaining! Do you know what will happen, one day, because of troublemakers like you? An android, who is really in need of assistance, won’t be believed and it’ll end up really bad!”

“I AM that android!”, shouted Connor, “Please, ma’am, I really…”

“Silence! I’ll put a second notice on your record. At the next one you’ll be prosecuted for procured alarm. Have a good day.”

“Ple…”

“Have.a.good.day.”, she stated, looking at the two agents who were at the doors.

Connor gave up.

Alone and desperate he couldn’t do anything but get back to his brand new prison and fear what his jailer had in store for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again ^^,  
> this was the last transition chapter of the beginnig, from the next one we'll start to play a little bit harder. It's time for us to start suffer for real.  
> Thank you, as usual, for your kudos and your comments. In the next minutes I'll answer to everyone of you.  
> Kisses!  
> Ros.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
>  notes up-front this time. I always read your comments with passion because I love to do so, but I believe that maybe I should clarify the purposes of this work. This is not a light story. It will address very disturbing issues like physical abuse, psychological abuse, sexual abuse, drinking habit and suicide. It's not my intention, and never will be, to do an apology of violence. Gavin's behavior is unacceptable and Connor actions in that regard will be wrong as well. He should denounce him and find a shelter. That would be the proper way to handle this kind of situations: find help at any cost, even when you're not listened to. Nevertheless, he is not doing so, just as like a lot of people that are suffering the same condition all over the world. This want to be a really realistic story about something which is very wrong. In order to be so, though, it will be very intense and very mature.  
>  If you don't feel like handle it, it's fine. I understand. I don't want to make your lives miserable, or to piss you off. It's just the nature of this story. I'm just sorry I hadn't told you this before. I thought that the ‘explicit’ rating would have been enough.  
>  It's my fault, not yours.  
>  With love,  
>  Ros.

When Hank finally arrived at the police station, Detective Reed stood up from his desk to cross his path. He was expecting some reaction, but the man just passed beside him without a glance. He looked really miserable, though, but that wasn’t enough for Gavin. He had started to hate Hank long before Connor first appearance. He was a drunk, a pitiful human being and the worst detective who’d ever crossed the door of the DCPD. Despite that, everyone idolatrized him just because, once upon a time, he had been so lucky to solve a case. It drove Gavin crazy, and that asshole of an android had only made things worse. He wanted them to pay for every humiliation he underwent because of them.

"Hey, Hank!", he called him, with a large grin on his face, "No shadow this morning?"

"Fuck off...", Hank mumbled while sitting at his desk.

"Excuse me, I didn't hear you.", Gavin insisted.

Hank raised his tired and defeated eyes in his direction.

"Can you try not to be an asshole for one morning? Just for a change." He didn't have the strength to fight, neither the intention. The argument with Connor had shaken him deeply and his fever was too high for him to be combative. "Leave me the fuck alone."

Gavin didn't give up so quickly. Why wasn't Hank reacting about the fact that him, of all people, was Connor's Patron?

"So who's it been assigned to?", he asked, pretending not to know.

Hank didn't answer and switched on his computer to file the report of that unsolved robbery.

“You don’t know?”, exclaimed Gavin in disbelief. Again, he received no reaction.

 _Connor didn’t tell him._ He realized, and that provoked a rush of anger under his skin. That tincan was a clever bitch! How could he get his revenge when Hank didn’t know shit? 

“Just for your information…”, he started, then he paused, uncertain: he could have made his plan work anyway.

Hank stood up, furious and grabbed his mug from the desk.

“Stay the fuck away from me!”, he screamed, throwing it at him. Gavin dodged it at the last moment and took a cautious step back.

“Ok, ok…”, he smiled, raising his hands, “I was joking. Calm the fuck down, you psycho.”, he concluded, before returning to his desk.

There, his phone lighted on for a notification.

“My God, you really are stupid...”, he whispered reading, amused, the report that an employer of the aid center for androids had sent him about Connor’s behavior. _You’re making things easy as fuck, prick…_ He thought, before getting back to work.

On his part, Hank was struggling. He wasn’t able to concentrate. His fever had probably raised up, his head was heavy like a boulder and he felt like he was about to puke again, but, most importantly, he couldn’t stop thinking about Connor. A part of him, the irrational one, was thinking that he had no fucking right to speak to him like he did. The other, instead, was utterly sure that, if there was an asshole in that situation, it must have been him. He took his phone out of the pocket, and opened a new text.

       _People can’t change in the blink of an eye, Connor. I did wrong. I know it. Jesus, I fucking knew that even before I called you. There was no need to be an asshole ‘bout it, ok? I’ve spoken with a doctor yesterday. She told me some really disturbing shit ‘bout you and... I fucked up, that’s clear, but I had my goddamn reasons! You can’t just..._

“Fuck it…”, he concluded, deleting everything. He was behaving like a child, ready to throw away Connor’s safety because of his puerile need of affection and comprehension.

       _Please, call me when you feel better._

He typed again, and then wiped off the ‘please’. He didn’t want to look desperate either. He regretted sending that text immediately after he had done it. He was supposed to let Connor go, not keeping him so damn close.

“Are you fucking listening to me?!”, shouted captain Fawler, making him jump on the chair. The man looked at him.

“Jesus Christ, Hank, you look like shit.”, he continued, preoccupied, “Are you ok?”

Hank gulped, fighting back a retch, and simply nodded.

Fawler leaned close to him.

“Are you already drunk?”, he whispered, displeased.

“No…”, Hank answered, his voice hoarse, “It’s just a cold. I spent all day under the snow, yesterday and...”, he paused, coughing, “Don’t bother, ok? I just have to keep on moving. I’ll go to...”, he tried to stand up, but he fell right back on the chair, exhausted by the fever.

“You should have told me you were sick, you dumbass.”

“I’m fine!”, he argued.

“Like hell you are! I’m calling you a cab. You’re going home.”

“For fuck’s sake you’re not my mother!”, yelled Hank, jumping up on his feet. Everyone in the station turned their attention to him, “Just give me something to do.”, he added, lowering his voice.

“Sleep.”, declared Fawler making it sound like a final order.

He gave up.

“Alright, but I’ll drive myself home. Thank you.”

 

Later that day, Gavin got home with a sick feeling of anticipation and triumph. He found Connor sitting on the sofa with an hateful gaze in his hazel eyes.

“You didn’t clean.”, said his Patron, pointing at the kitchen counter with the remains of his breakfast.

“What have you done to me?!”, shouted Connor, leaping up.

“Oh, you noticed?”

The android pushed forward and stopped right in front of his face.

“Are you threatening me?”, asked Gavin, delighted, “You know what will happen if…”

“What have you done to me?!”, repeated Connor.

“You wanted to be human, right, Pinocchio? I just gave you an upgrade.”

Connor hesitated, distracted, and his LED blinked in red. He never wanted to be human, actually. He was alive, that was different.

“I’ve received a report about your movements, today. You haven’t been listened to. I’m not surprised, but I didn’t think that you’d be so sloppy. You should have waited at least a week to report me. You burnt that possibility, you are aware of that, right?”, Gavin pointed out with satisfaction.

“Markus said…”

“Oh, yeah, Markus!”, the man grinned, “Well, everyone deserves their shitty politician, after all. Even an android. You know shit about how power works, don't you? No-one keeps their promises at the White House, asshole. So, nobody will rescue you because nobody gives a fuck, especially your precious savior Markus!.", he explained, tapping his fingers on the counter. “You didn’t clean.”, he pointed out a second time, grabbing the mug and turning it over in his hands. He thought back at Hank’s gesture back at the station and that gave him an idea.

“I’m not your slave, nor your housekeeper.”, Connor answered, blunt.

“I see.”, Gavin stated, then, unexpectedly, he raised his arm, throwing the mug to his face. Connor fell back, unbalanced, and landed on the floor with a choked groan. Being hit, though, was not the worst part: he was feeling something. He was feeling pain, and it was overwhelming, totalizing and like nothing he had ever experienced before.

“You’re not that good at kicking asses now that you’re like everyone else, are you? How’s our _bromance_ , now, fucking prick? Improving?”, Gavin mocked him.

Connor laid on the floor, stunned by that horrible sensation and by all the error notifications that were popping in front of his eyes.

“And you even took my clothes without permission!”, Gavin continued, kicking his stomach.

Connor rolled on his back in pain and terrified. He curled upon himself, trying to gain control, but how could he do that when every inch of his body was shaking in distress and his brain was crushed under the pressure of a ton of notifications? Both his head and his stomach were pulsing awfully and he didn’t know how to cope with it. Was he about to die out of pain?

Gavin laughed, amused.

“My God, I almost preferred you when you couldn’t feel shit!”, he commented, “You’re making it boringly easy.”

Connor crawled back, pressing himself against the counter. On his cheekbone, clearly visible and slowly fading, there was the white bruise of the hit. His eyes were lost and overwhelmingly in distress.

He raised his hands to protect his face when Gavin approached him. The man laughed even harder at that and then he pulled him up from the hair.

“If I tell to clean this shit, you clean it, understood?”, he paused, waiting for an answer that Connor was in no condition to give, “Understood?!”, he shouted, slapping him.

“... Yes…”, the android whispered. He would have said and done anything to make him stop, to make the pain stop

“I didn’t hear you!”, yelled Gavin, tugging his hair.

Connor clenched his teeth and two tears slid off his eyes. “Yes! Yes, I will comply!”, he cried.

Gavin let go and took a step back to admire him aching and trembling in front of his eyes. The sight made him feel good and powerful. It was a wonderful sensation.

“So clean this shit.”, he ordered, “Now!”

With his legs unsteady, Connor forced himself to stand up. The pain was slowly going away and he was starting to be able to think again. He scanned the room to plan a way to defend himself or to attack. He found several options but what would have happened if he had hurt his Patron? He try to analyze his recent memory in order to see if he had enough evidence against him, but an error communicated him that his recording program was compromised.

“I know what you’re thinking, Connor. I took my precautions…”, Gavin commented, while sitting on the sofa, “A friend of mine is a hacker, he owes me some favors, like… well, not being in jail. I asked him to program some shit to put in your software. It’s a virus, as far as I know. I didn’t bother with details. He’s good with scum like you. It affects your sensibility sensors. And, yeah, I asked him to prevent your memory to be examined. You’re on your own, now. Just like a human being, rejoice. That means, prick: if you hurt me, it will be your word against mine. We both know how that will end, don’t we? I’m winning in any scenario. When Cyberlife idiots will, eventually, notice your modifications you’ll be trash already and there won’t be any proof of my involvement anyway.”

Connor froze. He was furious, he was confused but, most of all, he was scared and he didn’t know what to do. Defeated, he bent down to collect the broken pieces of the mug, then, he cleaned the other dishes and the counter. Gavin looked at him like he was watching a movie.

“Good boy.”, he commented.

Connor winced. Hank used to address him like that. There was something very wrong in Detective Reed using the very same words in the very same tone. He felt disgusted and distressed.

“Don’t call me that.”, he hissed.

Gavin raised an eyebrow, surprised and delighted.

“Are you giving me orders? Didn’t you get who’s the boss in here? Do you need another lesson, tincan?”

He stood up and Connor stepped back, afraid. He almost slipped on his stand-by charger. Gavin smiled, sadistically, then decided not to hurt him, physically, at least.

“I saw Hank, this morning.”, he informed him.

Connor’s LED, stationary red, blinked furiously.

“Is he alright?”, he asked in a whisper.

“Not at all. Fawler sent him right back home. Maybe he was drunk as shit. Honestly, I didn’t ask because I don’t fucking care. You do, though, don’t you?”

Connor frowned and blinked, uncertain about what to say.

“Of course you do.”, Gavin continued, “Isn’t that the reason why you didn’t tell him about me? You think he would do something stupid. Well, I agree.”

Connor stepped back, but found himself against the wall. Gavin reached him and stopped at a palm from his face.

"He insisted on driving himself home. Maybe he's in need of assistance, maybe he's already dead, and you are here, stuck with me.", he continued, pressing the index finger against his chest, "Isn't it poetic?"

Connor closed his eyes and gulped, shaking his head, afflicted.

"You're dying from the desire to reach him, right?", Gavin tormented him. "I could be a magnanimous owner, you know? And let you go. You only have to ask it properly."

Connor took a deep, painful breath, feeling humiliated. Nevertheless, Hank was more important.

"C-can... Can I go, please?", he mumbled.

Unexpectedly, Gavin hit him with another punch, making him fall to his knees with a hoarse cry.

“You have no spine!”, he commented, disgusted, stepping away from him, “Go and see that asshole, if you’re able to stand up, you pussy.”

Gavin knew that that was a risky decision, but he wanted to understand how far he could get with Connor without him telling shit to anyone. Sending him to Anderson was an adequate test.

Slowly Connor was back on his feet, the pain, this time, wasn’t going away. He didn’t suffer any invalidating damage from the beating, but that awful sensation was right there with him everytime he moved, even slightly. Without looking at his Patron, he left the apartment, but he had to lean against the corridor wall for a while in order to proceed to the elevator.

Outside it was snowing again, and it was very cold. He felt it run over his skin like thousands of needles. Hank’s house was rather far and walking to it was not an option. He waited for a bus and, while he was freezing there, he ran a diagnostic to be sure that everything was running properly despite his compromised sensors. Finding out that everything was ok hardly heartened him. His problems were far from solved: detective Reed was still his Patron and he was a sadistic psychopath. Furthermore he felt guilty about Hank’s condition. Was he responsible for his morning hangover? He shouldn’t have been so harsh on him and he should have answered his text right away.

“Fuck…”, he whispered, hiding his face with a hand.

The bus arrived some minutes later and he felt a little better inside. He watched his reflection on the glass. His LED was still red, Hank would have noticed that. At first he considered the idea of removing it, but he didn’t have any tool, and doing that would have been suspicious too. So he tried to think about something good, something that would have made him relax. The first thing that came to his mind was his first hug with Hank in front of the Chicken’s Feed. He didn’t know why but in that occasion he had felt like he was in the safest place in the world. He felt warm, an unknown feeling filling up his mind as he realized that he wanted to be close to him again.

His LED finally switched to blue, just in time for his bus stop. Hank’s place was just at the end of the road.

Connor didn’t knock.

 _The next time you want to fucking break in my house, use the goddamn door! There’s a copy of the key in that jar!_ Hank had told him, some days before. God, it seemed like an eternity.

And so he did.

The living room was dark and even messier than the usual. Sumo, overwhelmed by joy, jumped on him, barking noisily and licking his hands.

“Sumo, what the fuck?!”, screamed Hank from the bedroom. His voice was low and hoarse.

Connor petted the dog just enough to make him calm down, then he closed the door. He was about to enter the corridor when he found Hank in front of him, wrapped in a warm blanket. They looked at each other for a brief moment, surprised.

“Hey…”, the man broke the ice.

Connor didn’t say anything. Rushed, he leaned forward, nestling himself against his chest and hugging him. He was so relieved that he was ok.

Hank glanced at him, caught off guard and almost embarrassed. He smiled slightly, though. “I’m glad to see you too, asshole…”, he whispered, holding him with an arm.

“I’m so sorry…”, Connor mumbled against his shoulder.

Hank took a step back.

“Hey, hey, don’t get so sentimental. It makes me uncomfortable.”, he paused, studying his reactions, “So, your Patron unleashed you. How is he?”

Connor turned his head just to cover his LED and pretended to look at Sumo in the living room.

“She, actually.”, he improvised. Lying to Hank, though, made him feel really miserable and guilty. He was breaking a promise. “An old lady with three cats.”, he added, faking a smile, “I like cats as well.”

Hank tilted his head, confused. Connor was acting strange. There was something wrong.

“And her name is?”

“You want to check an old lady’s record?”, the android mocked him, looking at him directly for the first time. He was calm enough to do so.

“Like hell I will.”, Hank answered, deadly serious.

“Actually, I’m not authorized to…”

“Don’t use your shitty machine protocol on me! The name.”

Connor’s LED switched to yellow.

“I won’t say it to you.”, he declared, “You are, formally, my previous owner. You’d put yourself in trouble searching for the ID of my Patron. I won’t be an accomplice to your self-harming propensity.”

“Listen well, you assh…”

“I promised I’d tell you if I’d found myself in trouble.”, Connor interrupted him, “My Patron is suitable and, as you can see, I’m fine, lieutenant.”

That lie was the hardest one to tell.

Hank moved forward to keep on arguing but instead of speaking he started coughing terribly.

“You’re sick!”, Connor noticed.

The man rested his back against the wall, exhausted. “You truly are a detective!”, he commented, sharp, taking a deep breath. His chest was killing him.

“You should go back to bed. What are the symptoms? Did you eat? Are you keeping yourself hydrated? Should I call a doctor?”

“Whoa, whoa! Enough with the questions! Since when are you so goddamn caring?”

“Let me assist you.”, Connor grabbed his arm but Hank pushed him back roughly.

“I can do it alone. Thank you and fuck you as well.”, he hissed.

“Then do it. I’ll cook something for you.”

“Can you?”

“No. I mean… Yes. I can download an upgrade and…”, he suddenly remembered that he couldn’t: he was disconnected. “Well, how hard could it be?”

Hank raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah! Letting cook someone who doesn’t eat and has no sense of taste seems like a wonderful, retarded idea!”, he joked, amused, “Look, there’s some mac and cheese in the fridge. Just put it in the microwave. That’s by far the less dangerous course of action.”

That said, Hank got back to his bedroom. He had dropped the conversation about his Patron, but he wasn’t convinced. He laid down on the bed, shaking because of the fever. How could he force Connor to say something he clearly didn’t want to reveal? That was a hell of a problem. Nevertheless, he seemed fine, after all. Maybe he was just overreacting. Regardless, he didn’t like the way the android was taking care of him. It was too much, like the lady doctor had said.

In the kitchen, Connor did what he had been told, then he sat at the table, troubled. Had  he been convincing enough? His LED switched to red. Lying was a terrible thing to do, but in his situation? Hank would have killed Gavin with his bare hands if he had known what he had done to him. Yes, it was the right decision. He only had to behave properly in Gavin’s presence in order to not provoke his anger.

 _Everything will be alright._ He echoed Markus.

The beep of the microwave signaled him that Hank’s dinner was ready. He put it on a proper plate and joined Hank into the bedroom. The man was asleep.  He looked at him for a moment, uncertain about what to do. He laid his dinner on the bedside table and sat next to him.  Hesitantly, he lowered a hand over his cheek in a weightless caress.

“Goddamn it…”, he cursed, thinking back at Gavin. He felt the tears filling his eyes and he got up abruptly. Hank woken, but not fast enough to see his misery, just a glimpse of red before his LED returned blue.

“Your dinner is ready.”, Connor informed him with a fake smile, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze.

“Are you all right?”, asked the man.

“Of course.”, he lied.

“That shit on your head was red. I saw it.”

Connor blinked in panic. He had to find something to say and quickly.

“I was just worried about your condition. Can I measure your body temperature?”

“Do you have to lick my forehead or do something as gross to do it?”

A pale smile appeared on Connor lips, his first sincere one. He shook his head.

“No. I just have to gently touch you. May I?”, Connor asked, tilting his head like the goddamn asshole puppy he was.

“Agreed…”, Hank sniffed, like he had a choice, but the android had his complete attention when he saw him removing the skin from his hand, before touching him.

“I’ll be more precise without it.”, Connor explained, pressing his palm on his forehead for a brief moment. The sensation was strange, Hank thought, he was touching plastic, but it was somehow soft, alive.

“Your LED is yellow, now.”, he noticed, “Am I about to die, doctor?”

“It’s high. 102.205 F°, 39.003 C°. Are you taking the proper medication?”, asked Connor, lowering his hand.

“Yeah - yeah… Look, I understand that maybe this is new for you, but it’s not the first flu of my life. Relax. I just need to sleep and tomorrow I’ll be as good as new.”

Connor nodded.

“I should leave, then.”

“And go back to your cat lady Patron?”

“Yes.”

An awkward silence fell between them.

“Call me if you need anything.”, Connor said then, “Take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, fuck you, mom!”

The android lowered his head as leave-taking and walked through the door. On his way back, though, he noticed Hank’s jacket on the sofa. His revolver was sticking out from its right pocket. He knew that he had no right to snoop around, but he couldn’t help himself. He took it and opened the cylinder. There was just one bullet inside. His fists clenched in anger, he closed the gun and then he hid it under his belt, before leaving.


	5. Chapter 5

When Connor got back at Gavin’s house, the man was out. He took a deep breath, relieved, then he scanned again the living room in order to find a proper hiding place for the gun. Taking it had been a great risk. Not that he had the slightest intention to use it. That would have been a very poor choice in any scenario. First of all, he couldn’t carry one, then he couldn’t hurt his Patron, and, as that wasn’t enough, that was Hank’s gun, it was registered. Even if they hadn’t blamed him, the authorities would have certainly blamed Hank for any felony committed with it.

There were a lot of hiding places in the room, but Connor didn’t know where Detective Reed usually stayed. His gaze fell on his stand-by charger. By his own admission, Detective Reed didn’t know how to use it and the platform was largely empty on the inside. He bent on the floor and carefully opened the panel, sticking the revolver inside. He had just closed it when he heard the door slid open. He stood up, afraid and walked away from the charging station.

Gavin looked directly at him with an impassive expression. He was carrying a pack of beers and a shopping bag with some food.

“You’re back.”, he stated.

Connor didn’t reply, he barely nodded.

“Alone.”, the man continued. “Interesting.”

He laid everything on the counter, thoughtful. If there weren’t any agents and not even Hank at his house, that meant that Connor hadn’t talked to anyone about what happened. That was good news indeed.

“So, how’s the asshole?”, he asked with a casual tone.

Connor kept silent.

“I asked you a question, prick. You’d better answer.”, he threatened him, opening a beer and taking a long sip.

“He has a flu. He will be fine.”, the android said, defensive. He was standing still like a statue at the corner of the room, right in front of the window. He felt in danger when he saw the man approaching him, but he didn’t move.

“So, Connor…”, Gavin started, “What’s exactly going on between you and the old man, mh? What kind of relationship do you have?”

Connor wanted to say that it was not his fucking business, but he feared his possible violent reaction.

“He’s my partner and my friend.”

Gavin smiled, amused.

“You’re learning, I recognize it, but don’t take me for an idiot. That’s not the answer I was seeking for.”

Connor frowned, confused and looked at his face for the first time, his LED flashing red in the process.

“The way you freak out about him is not exactly _friendly_.”, Gavin helped him out, or, at least, he tried, “So, what’s going on? Is the old man a creep? Does he fancy dolls?”

Connor blinked, increasingly confused.

“I don’t think I understand what you’re implying, nor what could be the proper answer to your question. Hank is my partner and my friend, as I said. I care about his well being.”, he stated, sincere, because he really didn’t understand Detective Reed’s insinuations. He was getting increasingly nervous and scared every second that passed, afraid of what the man wanted to do to him.

Gavin smiled and took another sip of his beer.

“Did he ever fuck you?”, he asked then, abruptly.

“What?!”, Connor exclaimed.

“Oh, c’mon, you’re naive, but not that naive!”, he laughed.

Of course, he knew what ‘fuck’ meant, academically, at least. His question was merely rhetorical, Connor thought, then he took a deep breath.

“I’m unable to see your point. Please, clarify.”

Gavin gave him a long, sardonic gaze.

“Oh, it’s quite simple: did he ever stick his cock in you and fuck you like the submissive bitch you are? I bet he’s a maniac and you like that, don’t you?”

Connor shut his eyes, perturbed.

“This is ridiculous!”, he hissed, stepping away from him.

He felt embarrassed and angry. Hank was a good and caring man, in his own way, of course, but he surely was not the vulgar, pitiful beast that Detective Reed was describing.

“Have I made you uncomfortable?”, Gavin asked, following him with a large grin on his face, “Poor, innocent puppy…”, he mocked him, “Aware or not, you’re a faggot, Connor. And I believe you have a big crush for that useless asshole. That’s why you care so much.” He laughed looking at him freezing on the spot, “Oh, fucking Jesus! You never thought about it, right?”

Indeed, Connor had never questioned himself about the nature of his feelings for Hank. He enjoyed being in his company and, besides his suicidal nature, he genuinely liked everything about him. Hank was a clever, passionate man and he was absolutely sure that without him he would have never reached his deviancy. Did that mean that he was somehow infatuated with him? He didn’t have an answer to that. Love was a very complex feeling, rather far from his ability of comprehension. Hank was a very important part of his life, the only one, actually. That was it. Clear and simple.

“Planet Earth to asshole!”, Gavin exclaimed, slapping him.

Connor winced, feeling his cheek burning from the hit. It wasn’t an insupportable pain, though. It was far less heavy than a kick in the stomach or a mug thrown at his face. He silenced any warning notifications and looked at Reed.

“If you want to know if there is a romantic or a sexual intercourse between me and Lieutenant Anderson, the answer is no.”, he stated, blunt and cold.

“Would you like to?”

“W-what?”, Connor hesitated, “How could I know?!”

That conversation was making him feel really uneasy. Why was Detective Reed so interested in the matter?

Gavin grinned.

“Finally, you’re stepping out from your polite, machine tone.”, he commented, amused by his panicked expression. “You know? I would probably find you cute if you weren’t just a piece of plastic.”

“Why do you hate me so much?”, Connor asked, lowering his gaze, “I never intended to harm you in the archive. I just had to defend myself and my mission. For what it’s worth, I am sorry, detective.”

“Oh, you think this is personal? Between you and me? Are you serious?”, Gavin asked in disbelief. “What quarrel could I have with a fucking doll like you, Connor? Don’t be ridiculous! You are just a machine!”

“I am not…”, Connor whispered, feeling awful, “I…”, he gave up, closing his eyes.

“Are you really trying to make me pity you? You are nothing, Connor! Just my toy and I will fucking treat you as such.”

Connor looked at him, defeated.

“If it’s nothing personal, why did you want to be my Patron? I just… I just don’t understand!”, he cried.

“So that he couldn’t have you anymore. I thought that that was fucking clear! Maybe it won’t be today or tomorrow, but one day Hank will know everything about us and he’ll be so broken and disgusted about what I’ve made of you that he won’t be able to look at you ag…” A choked cry escaped from his lips when Connor, abruptly, grabbed him from the throat and smashed his back against the window. The beer slipped from his hand and fell on the floor.

After a second, though, the android let go of him and took a step back, shocked.

“Please, don’t…”, he mumbled, desperate, almost servile, “Please, leave Hank out of this. He’s in pain already. I…”, he took a painful breath, “I’ll be whatever you want me to be…”, he concluded.

Gavin looked at him, surprised and then he started laughing, exhilarated.

“Good. Let’s teach you how to behave, first.”, he answered.

Connor felt like he was dying inside, and he was unprepared when the man punched him in the face. He landed on the floor, blinded by the pain. He was bleeding too from both his nose and his lips.

And then Gavin started kicking him, again and again, harder and harder.

Connor cried, suffering, and then he tried to crawl away from him, unsuccessfully. The pain, pulsing all over his body, was simply too much for him to bear, even if he had deactivated his notification system. His software crashed soon after and he fainted for the first time in his life.

Gavin stopped hitting him when he noticed that he was no longer moving. At first,he feared he had killed him, then he saw his LED blinking in a pale azure light. The asshole had just shut himself down, sooner or later he’d woken up again.

Gavin was about to walk away from him when his phone started to ring. He picked it out from his pocket, looking at the ID on the screen.

**_Incoming call: Hank_ **

There was even a picture of the asshole, taken by an old newspaper article. There was no doubt left: the tincan had really fell for him, even if he was too dumb to notice.

Ha patiently waited for the phone to stop ringing, then he wiped out the notification of the missed call, before putting it back in Connor’s pocket. He looked at him, if it weren’t for the thirium and beer all over the floor he would have seemed just asleep.

“Fucking prick!”, he snorted, kicking his stomach one more time. Then, as nothing had happened, he sat back on the sofa and watched a football game.

 

When Connor finally woke up it was really late. He cried, suffering. The pain was tolerable now, but it was still there all over his body, pulsing awfully under his skin. He sat on the floor and slowly got rid of his shirt. All over his chest and belly there were several warm, white bruises, and his back was not in a better shape. A twinge of pain made him wince when he tried to touch them to check on his condition. His breath ran short and his eyes filled with tears.

He spent a lot of time there, unable to stand up. His was indeed a miserable and humiliating condition. He felt ashamed of himself for what he had let Gavin do to him.

_It’s for Hank sake… You can handle it. For his sake._ He repeated himself.

He stood up and looked at the living room. The clock over the fridge was signing 4.23 a.m. The room was a complete mess. The floor under his feet was sticky because of the beer, the counter was covered by empty cans and dirty dishes. He, glanced, afraid, at his charger station. The panel was still close and the revolver still hidden and safe. He should have connected to it in order to regain some strength, but what if there was another virus in it? No, he would have recharged himself only after he had cleaned everything, and he could do it only partially without turning himself in standby. That decision would have caused several problems to his software, but he was simply too afraid to do otherwise.

Gavin woke up around 6.30 and joined him in the living room.

“You’re good as new.”, he stated, “And everything is clean, I’m impressed.”

Connor stepped down from the stand-by platform and walked away, remaining silent.

“Prepare me some coffee while I take a shower. Black.”

“Yes, detective Reed.”

“And some scrambled eggs with bacon.”

Connor simply nodded but inside he panicked. He didn’t know where to start. He turned on the coffee machine and then he took his phone to research how to cook the eggs.

“Ok… ok, you can do it.”, he whispered.

His hands were shaking, though. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths in order to calm down, then he started his task trying not to think at the possible, almost certain, outcome of even one eventual mistake. Gavin came back soon after, he was almost naked with only a towel around his hips.

Everything was ready, so Connor put the plate in front of him in silence when he finally sat at the counter. Uncertain, he took a cautious step back and he kept still.

“Great, now you look like a fucking waiter.”, Gavin mocked him, while examining his breakfast. It was fucking perfect he denoted, displeased. He put the fork into his mouth and he smiled.

“There’s no salt, asshole!”, he shouted, pushing the plate over the edge. Connor followed its fall to the floor with a desperate sob and then he looked at the stove where he had forgot the salt shaker. He had spent half the night cleaning the living room and he was starting to feel another unpleasant sensation: simulated fatigue. He was experiencing the strong desire to lay down somewhere and do nothing else than let his muscles recover from both the beating and the cleaning work. That was certainly an unexpected outcome of the virus inside his software. He was not supposed to feel tired, nevertheless, his sensibility sensors were glitching like never before. He felt on the verge of crying and he didn’t understand the reason of his emotional reaction. What good could tears have in his current situation? He forced them back and moved to the sink to take something to clean that mess, but he froze when Gavin stopped him, clenching a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m really sorry. I… I forgot it.”, he whispered with a trembling voice, glancing briefly at him.

Gavin smiled reassuringly.

“It’s ok. Don’t bother.”

Connor frowned, surprised.

“What?”, the man asked with a laugh, “You thought I was about to punish you?”

The android lowered his gaze.

“Yes...”, he admitted, feeling relieved to the point that his LED switched to yellow.

There was nothing in Detective Reed mimic that would have suggested a violent retaliation, but he was still holding his shoulder with a strong grip.

“Maybe I can…”, he fell silent when Gavin moved in front of him and then caressed his cheek with the back of his hand.

_What?_ He asked himself in disbelief and he stepped back when the man tried to press his thumb on his lips.

“What are you doing?”, he asked, giving voice to his doubts.

Gavin laughed again.

“What do you think?”

Connor shook his head, confused and naive.

“I don’t know.”, he admitted, and his LED rapidly got back to red.

Furthermore, his malfunctioning sensors, in order to keep on working, were giving him another unpleasant physical reaction: the chest-engine responsible for his thirium circulation was working faster than usual, just like a human heart, because he was so afraid.

“P-please… I didn’t do it on purpose.”, he mumbled. The tears were again filling his eyes. “I… I am running on low power mode, I need to end my recharging cycle and…”

“Shhh!”, Gavin hushed him, gently pressing the palm on his mouth. Then he approached his ear: “I am the one who decides when to punish you and how.”, he warned him with a terrible, soft voice, “Understood?”

Connor, shaking, could simply nod in response.

“Good.”, the man commented stepping back. He gave him a long, disturbing gaze, then he got back to the bedroom without adding anything.

Panting, Connor let himself sag on the sofa.

_What was that about?_

He knew that there was something very wrong in Detective Reed’s actions. He could feel that, but he couldn’t properly understand why. Was he in danger? Of course. That was crystal clear, but was there really something worse than being beaten? He winced, panicking, when the man walked back in the living room fully dressed for work.

They looked at each other for a long, tense moment, then Gavin grinned, delighted by his pale and lost expression.

“You, know, Connor? You’re a very good-looking doll. Think about it.”, he told, before leaving the house.

 

Hank woke up around 7.30 a.m. His fever had lowered, and he was feeling way better. Nevertheless, he was really pissed.

No: he was fucking furious.

He had tried to contact Connor several times, the night before, without getting any answer. The first thing he did after opening his eyes was taking his phone from the bedside table. There were no missed calls.

“Fucking asshole…”, he hissed, checking for his number one more time and starting the umpteenth call.

Connor, lying exhausted on Gavin sofa, winced unprepared.

_H-hello?_ He answered. He realized that his voice was still trembling, so he took a deep breath to control it. _Hank?_

“Is that all you can say?”, the man asked with a very aggressive tone.

_What?_ Connor was tired, desperate and confused to the point that his theft was slipping from his memory.

“I have called you at least ten fucking times yesterday!”, Hank shouted.

_What?_ The android repeated, lowering his phone to check on the register. _You must be wrong, lieutenant. I have no…_

“Listen well, asshole: don’t take me for a fucking idiot! You deliberately ignored me!”

_I swear, lieutenant, that… That’s not true. Maybe…_

“Shut up!”, Hank silenced him, “Where is it?!”

Connor kept silent. Of course, he was talking about the gun!

“Are you still there, fucking piece of shit?!”

_Yes. Yes, I’m here._

“Then answer me!”

Connor sat more composed and panicked.

_I thought it would have been better for you not to have it._

“Oh, you thought? Really? Bring it back here, right now!”

The android took some seconds to process properly that request.

_No. I will not comply._ He answered with the same tone he would have used to contain Detective Reed’s outbursts of rage

“Stop this fucking machine attitude!”, Hank shouted, enraged, “You don’t fool me anymore and you won’t get out of this so easily. You stole a thing from me! Me! Of all people, Connor! I want my goddamned gun back!”

Connor’s chest-engine, his heart, started running faster again. He was not afraid, though, he was feeling angry again.

_Did you ask yourself why I took it?_ He replied, cold as ice.

“I don’t give a fuck about it!”

_I won’t return it to you because it’s dangerous for your safety._ Connor stated. He heard Hank breathing heavily on the other side, trying to regain some calmness.

“Connor, you prick, I’m a cop! I work with guns every fucking day of my goddamned life.”, he snarled, lowering his tone.

_Yes, I’m aware of that._

“So, you’ll concur that stealing mine was fucking pointless, right?”

_No._

“What the fuck is ‘no’ supposed to mean?”

_Your gun is a revolver, the ones supplied to the police officers are semi automatic models. You need a cylinder in order to play your stupid game and semi automatic models don’t have one._ Connor explained, his tone blunt and unsympathetic.

“It will just be easier to shoot myself! One single, fucking bullet right from the barrel!”, Hank commented without thinking and, for the first time, he heard Connor shout at him:

_FUCK YOU!_

He shut up, unprepared and astonished.

“Connor, what the..?”, he tried to ask with a preoccupied tone.

_NO! I don’t want to hear any bullshit about it, lieutenant! If you are so stupid to not understand how much I care about you, then don’t speak to me at all!_ He yelled, with a breathless and shaking voice.

“Hey, hey… Connor, hold on a minute! I’m clearly missing something here. Please…”

_LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!_

Connor ended the call abruptly and turned off his phone, then he started crying desperately, in the grip of a nervous breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again,  
> things are going really bad for Connor, but in the next chapters the situation will probably be far worse than in this one.  
> Thank you for beeing still here, see you next week!  
> With love,  
> Ros.


	6. Chapter 6

Hank got to work that morning. He was way too nervous to lay in bed all day alone with his thoughts. Fawler glanced at him, displeased.

“You should have rested for at least three days.”, he pointed out, stopping at his desk.

“And you should mind your fucking business at least forever.”, he replied, “Oh, and I need a gun.”

“Where’s yours?”

“It’s got a problem with the cylinder. I have to repair it.”, Hank dismissed the matter. He couldn’t tell Fawler that Connor had stolen it.

“You won’t give it up, mh? Not even this time.”

The man raised his eyes, pissed.

“Why don’t you just fuck off?”

“All right-all right, take one from the armory and register it in your name.”, Fawler gave up. “Anyway, I have a case for you: a woman has been murdered in her house, this night. Actually, she was a Patron and an android might be involved. You’ll find the details on your computer, and Gavin is coming with you.”

“What? No! I don’t want that asshole’s company! Plus he’s an idiot, he wouldn’t find a suspect even if he had him stuck up his ass!”

“You hurt my feelings, drunk-shit!”, detective Reed mocked him from his desk.

“Why? Do you have any?”, Hank replied.

“Children, enough!”, Fawler intervened, “Orders from above: all crimes involving androids must be investigated by two cops, and you’re the only ones without a partner. I wonder why…”, he concluded almost pissed, then he got back to his office.

Hank and Gavin glanced at each other, then the detective grinned at him. Hank really wanted to punch that idiotic smile away from his dick-face. Sadly he couldn’t.

He stood up and took a new gun from the armory, before joining him.

“My car or yours?”, he asked then.

“Mine.”

They stayed quiet and silent for a while, along the way. Gavin was driving and, from time to time, he looked at him, curious.

“Can you tell me what the holy fuck you are looking at?”, Hank asked, faking a polite tone.

“Nothing in particular.”, he replied.

Gavin was struggling to keep his euphoria under control. A part of him would have wanted to tell Hank everything about Connor right away, but then his game would have ended, and he didn’t want to let it go so soon.

“News from Connor?”, he asked.

Hank winced and turned his sad face to the window.

“Fuck you.”, he hissed.

“You seem fond of him, I’d like to understand why.”

Hank kept silent, Gavin’s words were running under his skin, making him nervous.

“Mind your fucking business.”, he cut him off.

Abruptly, Gavin stopped the car at the side of the road.

“What the fuck?! We have work to do!”, Hank complained.

“It will take a moment.”, Gavin stated, “Look, we don’t like each other, but I really need some help, here.”

“And how is that my problem?”, Hank asked, looking at him, uninterested.

Gavin lowered his gaze, preparing a good lie to tell.

“Everything is changing: the androids, the new laws… I really can’t risk losing my job right now. You know, my girlfriend is pregnant.”

And that was the magic word. Hank’s eyes softened.

“I see. Congratulations.”

“Thank you. The problem is: I don’t understand androids, I don’t even like them. You’ve been able to work with one. Fuck, you befriended one!”, he fell silent, pretending to be uncomfortable, “Help me out, please.”, he whispered.

Hank took a deep breath, sympathetic.

“My first advice is: stop being an asshole to them. Treat them like people, because they _are_ people.”

Gavin laughed, apparently discouraged.

“I’m not that good with people either!”, he joked, candid.

Hank smiled, shaking his head, amused.

“I can’t argue with that.”, he agreed, “Well, you can learn. Anybody can. Now start this fucking car, or we’ll be both fired.”

“Thank you, Hank.”, Gavin replied, turning the engine on.

The other dismissed it with a gesture and turned his eyes back to the car-window again.

“It wasn’t easy, at the beginning, with Connor…”, he started. Hell, it still wasn’t easy with that asshole, but he didn’t want to speak about the present with Gavin. “He is a very complicated being. He knows… Shit, almost everything, actually, but, at the same time, he doesn’t have the slightest idea of how to behave properly. He has communication problems and he’s stubborn like hell, which doesn’t help. If he fixates himself on a task, whatever it is, he won’t move from his position for any reason in the goddamn world. I won’t deny that having him around has been tiresome, at times, but he is a smart kid, very adaptive. What I’m trying to say is: I can’t speak about all androids, but I believe that they have this naive and stubborn nature in common. Be patient, don’t insult them and mock them only if they are, somehow, close to you.”

“Got it.”, Gavin replied.

Hank glanced at him and a sad smile curled his lips.

“Yeah: _got it_.”, he echoed in a whisper.

“Something wrong?”

“No... “, Hank paused, “It’s just something between me, Connor and the true meaning of _got it_. Don’t bother, after all, you’re an asshole, not an android, maybe you’ve really got it.”, he concluded, thoughtful.

He wasn’t an idiot, and he didn’t believe that Gavin had redeemed himself on the spot, but he thought that his reasons were sincere and important. He wouldn’t have ever let down someone who was about to be a father, not even Reed.

And Gavin fucking knew it.

He didn’t have a plan in his mind, he just had thought that befriending Hank would have been a good way to keep the situation under control from both sides. Naturally, nothing of what he had said was true. He didn’t even have a girlfriend.

He stopped the car in front of the house where the murder took place. It was a nice place, with a beautiful garden. Several agents were there and the crime scene had already been restricted. The victim, a 53 years old woman, was in the living room, on the sofa. Someone had slashed her throat from behind. Everything was in disorder, like there had been a robbery. The coroner estimated the time of the death around 6 a.m.

Hank and Gavin parted from each other and the lieutenant got upstairs to check the bedrooms. There were four of them: the master’s, one for the guests, one which belonged to a boy, clearly a teenager, and one for a girl in her 20’s. Hank took one of her pictures. She was really pretty, dressed in red for her diploma ceremony. He took a deep, sad breath, thinking back to Cole and he put back the photo. Gavin joined him.

“Found anything?”

“No. Not really. You?”

“No door has been broken, which is odd in an alleged robbery.”

“Indeed. Who lives in the house, besides the victim and the android?”

“The victim’s son, Andrew Collins. He’s 16.”

“What about the girl?”, Hank asked, pointing at the pictures.

“I don’t know. Both the kid and the android have been brought to the central and the father is coming back from Petoskey. He and the victim were divorced.”

“I see. Let’s go back and speak to them.”

 

The boy and the android were in two different interrogation rooms. At the sight of her, Hank’s heart winced: she was a Traci. Immediately he remembered what happened at the Eden Club. He never asked Connor why he shot them. Maybe he did it because of his programming, maybe he had had other reasons.

Well, that was not the right moment to ask. Hell, he didn’t even have the slightest idea of how to contact him again without having him at his throat. Connor was taking the _it is all your fucking fault, Hank_ to a brand new level. He was starting to regret his ex-wife. At least he knew her and how to deal with her hysterical outbursts. But Connor? What the hell was Connor? He was alive, of course, but he was not a human being. He knew shit about how to properly deal with him and how to calm him down enough to talk about what had happened like civilized persons.

“Hank, are you listening to me?”, Gavin asked.

Barely, actually.

“Yeah.”, he answered, nevertheless, “I’ll take the android, you the boy. It’s safer, for now. She’s going to be a hell of a problem.”

“How so?”

“Didn’t you recognized her model from the Eden Club? She was a prostitute.”

“You have a good memory indeed.”, Gavin couldn’t help but mock him.

Hank gave him a distressed and disgusted gaze.

“What are you implying?”

Reed smiled and raised his hands, giving up the matter.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”, he replied, amused.

“Good. Watch me while I speak to her and try to learn how to be decent.”

“Even if it’s the murderer?”

“ _She_ , asshole. And we don’t know that yet. Don’t jump to shitty conclusions.”

That said, Hank got into the interrogation room. The Traci looked at him in distress. She had long red hair and she was really charming in that fancy and expensive dress.

“Good morning. I’m lieutenant Hank Anderson.”, he introduced himself, while sitting at the other side of the table. She looked at him with her eyes full of tears.

“I… I want a lawyer.”, she mumbled, afraid.

Hank stopped talking for a while.

“Isn’t that the proper way to..? I watched some Law & Order with my Patron, recently. I… I didn’t do it, sir!”, she claimed.

She was shaking terribly and her LED was shining red.

“This is an informal interrogation. We are not accusing you of anything, at the moment. But if you really want a lawyer, I’ll fetch you one.”, Hank replied with a very soft tone and a reassuring smile. “What is your name?”

“Mary-Ann.”, she answered, cleaning her face from the tears. Then she looked at him with more attention. “I do know you.”, she stated, “You were at the Eden Club, some time ago, investigating a murder. There was… There was an android with you. He asked you to rent me and then… then he probed my memory.”

“Yes, his name is Connor.”

“Is he a cop?”, she asked with hope in her voice, “Like… a real one? Can I speak to him?”

Hank shook his head, afflicted.

“He’s no longer a cop… since the decree.”

“Oh…”, she mumbled and other tears fell over her cheeks.

“Look, Mary-Ann, I know it’s tough but I need to know how your relationship with your Patron was.”

The android lowered her gaze, afflicted.

“She was a good woman. Way different from the other humans I’ve encountered. She was… She was really caring. I didn’t expect that. After all, I’m just an android and… a whore. Besides clients, nobody appreciates us.”

“Where were you at the time of the murder?”, Hank asked, more sympathetic than usual. Mary-Ann winched, and her LED started blinking in red.

“I want a lawyer.”, she repeated.

The man nodded and stood up.

“No problem, we’ll speak further later.”

“C-can I go?”, she cried, “I… I really don’t like this place.”

“No, you can’t. I’m sorry”

Gavin joined him right out the interrogation room.

“You’ve been very soft with her.”, he pointed out.

“I didn’t want her to panic. It could get really dangerous, even if they’re innocent.”, Hank answered.

That was only half-true. In fact, he didn’t want to push her because he was sympathetic.

“Her wanting a lawyer is somewhat suspect.”, Gavin implied.

“Maybe. Maybe not. This is an unknown situation for her. She’s improvising. Let’s go to the boy.”

It was useless as well: the teenager was asleep at the time of the crime, and he was the one who had found his mother’s body. They were stuck.

 

Finding an office lawyer for the android was proving difficult. The laws were still unclear on that matter and no-one seemed willing to take the risk. It was late afternoon when, finally, a guy paid by Cyberlife showed up. They were just introducing to each other when Gavin’s phone started ringing. He looked at the screen. It was Connor.

“Sorry, I really have to pick this one up.”, he excused himself, before leaving the room.

Hank raised his eyes, displeased, but he let him go and got back to the interrogation room with the lawyer.

It turned out that Mary-Ann wasn’t at home at the time of the murder, which was even more suspicious. When Hank tried to get some other information out of her, though, the android panicked and the lawyer decided to postpone the interrogation to the following day. Mary-Ann would have been escorted to a Cyberlife facility and kept under control for the night.

“So?”, Gavin asked, joining him.

“Don’t know…”, Hank mumbled, eager to drink himself to sleep.

“Are you going at Jimmy’s?”

“Yeah…”, he answered reluctant.

“Let’s go together. I’m offering.”

Hank shook his head.

“Look, there’s no need, ok? Let’s just be polite with each other. We don’t really need to be friends.”

“It’s a boy.”, Gavin lied, knowing that it would have worked. He had a plan and he was really curious to see its outcomes.

“Ok, ok. Let’s go…”, Hank gave up.

 

Connor left Gavin’s house with one of his winter jackets on. He had called him to gain his permission to go out. He was sad, but calmer than in the morning. He just wanted to see Hank and try to explain why he had taken his gun.

The importance of his act.

He knew that he would have probably found him at Jimmy’s at that time of the day. His routine was pretty easy to remember and to foresee, so he took a bus that would have brought him to that part of town.

Connor was nervous, though. His prior exchange with detective Reed had left him confused and uncertain:

 _Aware or not, you’re a faggot, Connor. And I believe you have a big crush for that useless asshole. That’s why you care so much._ He recalled.

He didn’t know if that was actually true. Should he tell Hank about his alleged feelings? He wasn’t sure. Would that kind of argument make him feel uneasy? Would that piss him off? Even if he was an android, he was a male one. A lot of humans were still disgusted by same sex interests, and that was a fact.

Was Hank one of them? He didn’t look like one.

After what happened at the Eden’s club, he had seemed very touched by the two Tracis’ love story. A tragic one, because of him. He closed his eyes, feeling guilty.

 _Why did I shoot?_ He asked himself. _Because my mission required it._ No, that didn’t sound right. _Because I was in danger._ No, it wasn’t that either. _Because Hank was in danger._ Of course! _I didn’t want them to hurt him, or worse. I shot her because they were dangerous for him._ He concluded. _And I would do that again._ He stated.

He couldn’t care less about their reasons, actually. They had attacked to kill them both and then run away. It was their fault, not his.

“I did what I had to do.”, he whispered, clenching his fists. “I wanted to protect what was dear to me, just like them. I’ve just been more lucky.”

Hank had took his choice personally, though. He had pointed the gun at his face, ready to shoot.

 _He is incapable of understanding my attempts to protect him._ He concluded. _Or he simply doesn’t care…_

That thought scared him deeply. What if he was nothing for Hank? Or worse: what if he was just the surrogate of the son he had lost? Nothing more than a toy, a glimpse of what his life with Cole could have been, now on the verge of disappearing?

Lost in his doubts, he almost missed his bus stop.

The sky was already dark and Connor felt like the first time he had seen Hank: unsure and alone.

**NO ANDROIDS ALLOWED**

The sign was still there on the door. Connor sighed, discouraged. He didn’t want to cause any trouble, so he peeked from the large window of the pub.

And then he saw Hank.

He was sitting at the bar counter, with a drink in his hand. He was smiling, amused by something that Gavin, next to him, had said.

For a moment everything went black for Connor, overwhelmed, like he was, by too many strong and unpleasant emotions all at once. He was furious, he was distressed, he was hurt, but most of all he felt the sick desire of getting inside and punch the hell out of them both. Seeing Reed at his place was simply too much for him.

Inside, actually, Hank was struggling to remain polite. He wasn’t drunk enough to tolerate Gavin’s presence. Nevertheless, he wanted to spend some time at Jimmy’s, maybe eat something there, get drunk and go home. In fact he was just waiting to see his fucking colleague leave in order to spend his evening alone and think about how to settle things with Connor.

Suddenly, he felt observed, so he turned to the window.

“Fuck!”, he exclaimed when he crossed Connor’s resented gaze. He didn’t say shit to Gavin and got out of the pub abruptly. The android was crossing the street without even looking at both sides.

“Connor!”, he shouted at him when a car almost hit him. “Connor, for Christ’s sake!”

He crossed as well and he had to start running to catch him.

“Connor, what the fucking hell? Are you trying to get yourself killed?!”, he reproved him. “And stop walking while I’m talking to you!”, he added, grabbing him from an arm.

Connor slapped his hand so hard that he felt pain running over his fingers. Without even looking at him, he proceeded to the bus stop.

Hank was astonished.

“Can you please stop for a goddamn second?!”, he yelled, following him like a shadow.

He did, actually, but only to wait for the bus. He kept still, like a statue, with a tense and enraged expression.

“Connor, please…”, Hank begged him, exhausted. It had been a long, fucking day.

“Get back to Jimmy’s. Don’t be rude to your new company.”, the android finally said with so much hatred in his voice that Hank winced, incredulous.

“Are you fucking jealous or something?! What the hell is your problem? I work with that guy! It can happen to hang out together!”, Hank replied, even if he didn’t understand why he had to justify himself in front of his former ex-android.

“That _guy_ tried to kill me in the archive!”, Connor screamed, furious. That situation was way too painful. He was feeling sick, like his thirium circulation engine was about to explode out of his chest.

Hank looked, worried, at his red LED.

“Listen…”, he started, lowering his voice because everyone in the street was looking at them, “I was getting out of the department and he joined me, what the hell was I supposed to do?”

Connor didn’t reply. He just wanted to run as far away from Hank as possible. After all he was trying to keep him unaware of his condition, seeing him befriending detective Reed of all people was driving him mad.

“Connor, please, speak to me.”, Hank tried again, but he was starting to feel pissed as well.

“Your life, your choices.”

“So much from the one who stole my gun!”

The bus appeared from the corner at Hank’s back.

“Whatever.”, Connor replied, blunt.

“Whatever my ass!”, the man shouted, “That thing has a meaning! It’s important to me and I fucking want it back!”

“You know what, lieutenant? Report me. It’s your right. Otherwise, leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want to speak about that fucking gun ever again. Now, go back to your new friend. Be polite. I really hope you get along.”, that said, Connor stepped on the bus.

Hank followed him with his eyes, defeated, and let him go. He didn’t have the strength to keep on arguing. Why was Connor always so mad at him? He looked at the bus departing. Connor had sat on the other side and he was already out of his sight.

“Fuck…”, he whispered, rubbing his eyes.

He didn’t know what to do at that point. He just felt miserable and lonely. Who did he want to fool? The lady doctor had been clear: in her experience no android had come back to their previous owner. Connor was not different. His way to care about his well-being was changing day after day. Soon he would have been disgusted by him like everyone else before: his ex-wife, his ex-friends. In the end they were all gone.

All of a sudden, it became one of those evenings when he would have sit at his table trying to kill himself, but he didn’t have his gun anymore.

Yeah, that was the fucking point.

“Fuck you, Connor…”, he whispered on the verge of crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ^^,  
> yep, with this chapter I took a temporary pause from Connor's misery in order to concentrate a little more on Hank and introduce the plot of this story as well. Don't worry though, we'll soon get back to Gavin's sick nature.  
> Thank you, as usual, see you next week!  
> Ros


	7. Chapter 7

Connor didn’t want to go home. The mere thought of seeing Gavin again, that night, was making him sick, so he looked out from the bus window. He had missed his stop, but he couldn’t care less in that moment.

Then he saw the bridge.

That bridge.

A lady approached the doors and he imitated her. Going outside was a terrible idea, it was very cold, but he couldn’t help himself. While he was walking in the snow he thought back at the time when Hank had pointed his goddamned gun right at his face and he felt like he was in a déjà-vu. Besides Hank’s presence on the bench, everything looked the same, frozen in time. It was even starting to snow.

With a defeated whisper he sat down at his place and looked at the city skyline. It was a beautiful sight, he denoted, but that didn't relieve him at all. Now that he was alone he was starting to regret his actions. What if he had just over-reacted with Hank? He had almost compromised his secret and for what? That pathetic, hysterical scene? He was better than this. He was more controlled than this. What was happening to him?

“You’re just an idiot…”, he cried, hiding the face between his hands.

After some time he didn’t even feel cold anymore. Though, his arms and legs sensibility was increasingly fading. It was a very odd sensation, unpleasant, somehow, but he felt like he deserved it. A punishing for being a stupid asshole.

A warning popped up in front of his eyes, but he didn’t even read it before completely deactivating his notification system. He already knew that he was feeling cold and now that his body had stopped shaking, he was even starting to like the sensation. Actually, minute after minute the freezing temperature had started to freeze the thirium in his circuits, making it running slower and slower. If he hadn’t deactivated any notification, he would have been aware of the risk of the imminent shutdown he was running to. Androids weren’t designed to stay still in the cold. In order to compensate he had to keep moving, even slightly. He didn’t want to, though, because that condition was making him feel sleepy and unnaturally relaxed. For the first time in days his mind wasn’t obsessed by fear and terrible thoughts. He was in peace.

He barely heard steps approaching, but he didn’t look. He simply closed his eyes. He had no strength left and he didn’t really care about that either.

Hank did, though.

Without his gun, the only idea that had come to his mind on how to spend what was left of the evening was to go there to drink and let his depression guide him. He didn’t expect to find Connor on his bench. A part of him was really distressed because of it. That was his place for misery and he had no intention to share it. Nevertheless, he glanced, preoccupied, at the brand new whiskey bottle that he was carrying and, instinctively he hid it under his jacket.

“What the hell are you doing here?”, he asked, blunt.

Connor didn’t answer.

“Oh, great! We’re still playing the fucking silence card!”, he yelled, pissed.

Again he got no reaction.

“I’m really losing my shit, now!”, he insisted, finally approaching him. He grabbed him from the shoulder but the moment he touched him, Connor fell from the bench, unbalanced, and landed with his face on the snow.

“Connor?”, he called him, confused, but he still didn’t move. “Connor!”

Abruptly he leant on him and turned him on his back.

“Connor, wake up!”, he panicked, shaking him, then he slapped his face twice. The android skin was cold as ice. Hank desperately look at his LED. It wasn’t blue, yellow and not even red.

It was dark, switched off.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”, he repeated, “What the fuck, Connor?”

He grabbed him under his arms to raise him up, but even if the android was lighter than a human being, he was still heavy. Hank couldn’t raise him from that angle without his cooperation, but Connor was unconscious, maybe dead. He put him back on the snow carefully then he took off his jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders. The whiskey bottle fell and rolled away, but Hank didn’t bother. At that point he put one hand behind the android knees and one over his back, he pulled on his legs and finally he lifted him up with a fatigued cry. Connor’s head fell on his shoulder, like he was comfortably sleeping between his arms.

But he wasn’t and that was scaring Hank to death.

As fast as he could, he took him to the car, and he laid him down on the passenger’s seat. Before closing the door he put his seat-belt on.

Breathless, he started the car, without even knowing where to go. Connor was not a human, the hospital would have been pointless. Shaking, Hank grabbed his phone and searched for the nearest Cyberlife facility.

He was really driving too fast, but he didn’t slow down. Broken, he sniffed, his eyes fogged by tears.

_It’s not the moment to cry, asshole!_ He reproved himself. _Keep your fucking shit together!_

His memory got back at the time of the accident and to another run in the night, even if it was on an ambulance at that time. He was experiencing the same terror. He glanced at Connor, sagged next to him.

“Don’t do this to me.”, he sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Don’t fucking do this to me…”

It was in that moment that he realized how much Connor meant to him and how deeply he didn’t want to lose him. If he had believed in any god, he would have prayed all of them, even Satan, only to see his only friend safe, but that kind of comfort had never been of any help.

Technology listened to him, though. Since Connor’s circuits weren’t totally frozen, they slowly started to work again. When they were almost half away from the Cyberlife facility, Connor unexpectedly re-activated himself with a deep, loud and worrying cry. That distorted sound scared the shit out of Hank who briefly lost control of the car. Luckily he missed the street lamp before stopping at the side of the road.

Connor was not well anyway, though. His body was wincing, decontrolled and his led was blinking furiously, switching rapidly colors.

“Hold on! Hold on!”, Hank exclaimed, unbuckling him and holding him, desperately trying to make his wincing stop.

Connor was in terrible pain, his half frozen circuits were starting to be fully operational again and, because of the virus, he was feeling like every inch of his body had been stabbed by incandescent knives. In shock, he grabbed Hank’s arms so strongly he risked to snap his bones in half. Then he shouted another terrifying, long scream which started distorted and ended with his normal voice.

All of a sudden, everything was running smoothly again, besides all the warning notifications that were blinding him, and the pain was rapidly fading. That had been a very wrong and unpleasant restart of his system, the worst of his life. Exhausted he abandoned himself over Hank, breathing heavily. The man, though, pulled him back to check if he was still conscious.

“Oh, thank God…”, he whispered on the verge of a heart attack.

Connor closed his eyes and slowly normalized his breath. How did he end in Hank’s car? What had happened? He looked at him and then he hugged him again.

“Fuck no!”, Hank exclaimed pushing him back less gently. “It can’t always end like this with you fucking everything up and then coming out clean by acting cute! What the fuck was that?!”

“Seeing you with detective Reed had…”

“Fuck him and his whole family!”, the man interrupted him, “What was _that_ , Connor?! You seemed dead!”

The android looked away, ashamed.

“Just a… calculated mistake.”, he tried to cut it short.

“I’m still waiting.”, Hank pushed him, after some instants of silence.

“There’s no need to…”

“Fuck you! You scared me to death, Connor! You were screaming like something was tearing you apart, for Christ’s sake! I want a goddamned answer and I have the whole fucking night to obtain it. You won’t leave until you’ve explained what the fuck is wrong with you lately!”

Connor looked at him, lost like an abandoned puppy.

“I miss you, Hank…”, he mumbled.

The man snorted, pissed. There it was the fucking cuteness again. Even if Hank felt his heart warming, he also felt like Connor was fooling him around in order to avoid what he didn’t want to talk about.

“Yeah… Thank you...”, he nodded, trying to contain his rage, “But that is not my fucking answer.”

Connor blinked, then he sighed.

“I don’t know what got into me. When I arrived to the bridge I was really distressed. I sat on the bench and deactivate my notification system. I didn’t want to be bothered by it. A stupid decision…. I lost track of the time and I didn’t realize that my circuits were freezing. I… I’m sorry Hank. I didn’t mean to…”

He shut up when Hank gave him a very tense and severe gaze.

“Why in the fucking hell would you deactivate your warnings?!”, he asked.

Connor took a long pause.

“Stop right there.”, Hank intervened, “The next thing that’ll come out from your mouth will be a 100% fucking lie. Let’s go over it. Think better.”, he paused as well, “Oh, no! No-no, don’t look at me in shock, you asshole! You know I’m fucking right! Did you willingly decide to put yourself at risk?”

Connor’s LED blinked in red. He closed his eyes.

“No. Yes… Not exactly. Of course I knew that freezing temperature can damage the majority of androids, but I didn’t think that… As I said, I lost track of time. The cold was making my mind lighter. I felt… I was just… Never mind.”

“I fucking mind, Connor! And, please, try to finish at least one goddamned sentence, for a change!”

“I was just trying not to be in pain for a while!”, the android screamed in anger and immediately regretted it.

Hank looked hurt and even more inquisitive. He was a good detective, after all.

“And how were you in pain, exactly?”

Connor started to panic.

“I don’t want to talk about it!’, he stated, opening the car door.

“Stay where you are!”, Hank warned him.

“Or what?”

“Or I will drag you to a Cyberlife facility and I will let them tell me what the fuck is wrong with you!”

Connor froze on the spot. He couldn’t let that happen. They would have noticed the virus in his software and, in the end, Hank would have known about Reed.

He closed back the door and abandoned himself over the seat.

“I don’t know what is happening to me, nor how to properly explain it.”, he admitted.

“Try me.”, Hank said with a softer tone.

Connor shook his head, afflicted.

“I don’t really want to talk about it because… Because I don’t want to hurt you.”, he whispered, pointing at him his sweet and painful hazel eyes.

Hank winced, moved.

“I got broad shoulders. Fire away.”, he pushed him gently.

Connor had no intention of revealing to Hank that Gavin was his Patron. Nevertheless, he was aware that a perfect lie always has a little bit of truth in it. But it was hard anyway.

“Promise you won’t get me wrong.”, he mumbled not looking at him.

“I’ll promise whatever the fuck you want, Connor.”

The android nodded.

“Ok… Ok.”, he took a deep breath, trying to organize his speech properly. “I really miss you Hank…”

“There you go again…”

“No, please. Let me speak.”, Connor begged him, “But I’m also scared. I feel like you don’t care about my feelings, and maybe you actually don’t. I… I don’t know, but that is not the worst part anyway. You have a suicidal nature, Hank so…”, he felt tears filling his eyes, “Every time I see you I fear it would be the last one, because… because… And…” his voice ended up in a sigh and he didn’t continue. Without even knowing why he was feeling so ashamed he opened up the door and abruptly got out. Even if he had Hank’s jacket on, the cold was like a punch in the stomach and he shivered in distress. Hank, hurt, sad and in his shirt reached him at the side of the road.

“Connor look at me.”, he said when the android turned his back at him. “Connor, please.”, his tone was really calm.

“I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be. It’s ok.”

Connor finally glanced at him with a shy and unsure gaze.

“Come here.”, Hank invited him and then he hugged him tight.

Connor closed his eyes, resting the head against his shoulder. Hank’s body was warm against his, the sensation was good. He liked that. His LED switched to blue.

“Let’s go back inside. My ass is freezing.”, the man urged him, stepping back. “No. Keep it “, he stated when Connor offered him his jacket back. They sat in the car where Hank raised the heating at maximum. Connor was deadly silent and he knew that he had to answer something to his sweet and caring confession. The android was so naive and pure. He didn’t know where to start to reassure him. He was really touched, though, and he realized he was wrong about him: Connor wasn't growing disgusted by him. No. He was growing scared at the point he had somehow deliberately hurt himself in order to forget his distress. That was a sick solution that Hank knew too well. He had to stop Connor from falling in that abyss at any fucking cost because it was exactly the risk the lady doctor had warned him about. He couldn’t imagine that what Connor had confessed to him was just the tip of the iceberg.

“Connor, you’re so dumb…”, he started with affection, “Indeed I have my issues and my problems but that doesn’t mean that I try to kill myself every time I get home.”

“The frequency of your attempts doesn’t matter at all. One mistake and you’ll be gone forever. You’re all I have, lieutenant.”

Hank’s heart winced again, moved. He sadly smiled.

“This is going to change. You’ll meet other people, better people, both humans and androids. You’ll find someone.”, he replied.

“And how exactly would thatchange my affection for you?”

“God, at times I forget how young you are. During a lifetime people come and go all the time. It’s just how things go, Connor.”, he explained, desolated.

The android LED blinked in yellow, a clear sign of his distress.

“I like you, Hank.”, he stated, severe, almost aggressive, “And I don’t care about others. Let’s go back to the matter at hand, please.”

“Calm the fuck down, selfish asshole. I don’t play Russian roulette just to piss you off, you know?”, Hank reproved him, then he took a deep breath. “It’s impossible to explain what a loss like mine could cause. You have no fucking idea.”

“Maybe, but I do know what it's like to die.”  Connor replied, blunt.

Hank couldn’t argue with that. He vividly remembered when Connor had shielded him from that deviant bullets, dying at his place. He lowered his gaze, feeling guilty.

“Look, I’m not saying you’re wrong. It’s just not that simple. People don’t get out from this kind of situations by snapping their fingers.”

“I am aware of that, lieutenant, but you’re not even trying. You were more interested in having your gunback.”, Connor answered, hurt.

Hank abandoned his head over the seat, exhausted.

“Alright, I got it.”, he snorted, defeated, “I won’t ask you about that fucking gun again. Hell, I don’t even know what to think. I care about it, but if you didn’t get rid of it, you are an idiot because it can cause you some serious troubles. Fuck you either way.”

Connor’s eyes softened.

“It’s hidden and safe.”, he reassured him. “May I ask you...”

“A personal question?”, Hank ended the sentence for him, sarcastic. Then he anticipated him: “It was a gift. My father’s last gift, actually. He bought me that revolver when I became a cop. Some weeks later he died of cancer.”

“I am sorry.”

“Ah, It’s an old story. Besides, if the old man could see me now he would kick the shit out of me.”, he paused, thoughtful, “Is there anything else, Connor?”

“No.”

“What about your Patron?”

The android tensed visibly.

“As I said: she’s fine.”

“All right, all right. I don’t want to fight any longer.”, Hank gave up, “But put inside your plastic brain that I care about you too, asshole. Don’t treat me like a fucking criminal every time I mention her.”

“Well, you are, in fact, committing an infraction asking me to reveal her identity to you. You’re my owner.”

“Don’t fucking insult me. I never wanted to be your owner and I won’t start now!”

“Of course.”

“I met a girl, this morning. A Traci. She’s a suspect for the murder of her Patron. Well, she’s not, yet, but she will be. She asked about you.”

“Why?”

“You probed her memory at the Eden Club. I think she wanted to feel more at ease. And, by the way, I’m on the case with Reed.”, Hank confessed, “You would have discovered it, sooner or later. That’s the reason he was with me at Jimmy’s.”, he was justifying himself again without no fucking, rational reason. He saw Connor clenching his fists and his LED turning red.

“If that pisses you off, I’m sorry but I didn’t have a choice. He’s not… It’s not like is taking your place, ok? It’s just for this case.”

Connor frowned, distressed but he forced himself to keep calm.

“I don’t like him and I don’t like him close to you.”

“Me neither, but it is what it is. Stop acting like a jealous wife. It’s fucking disturbing.”

Connor looked away, feeling somehow rejected.

“Don’t trust him. I believe he hates you.”, he warned him, nevertheless.

Hank laughed, amused. “Oh, Lord! Keep your shit together! I know how to deal with an asshole. Don’t worry about it, ok?”, he dismissed the matter lightly.

Argue further would have caused Connor to expose himself, so he kept quiet even if he wanted to scream in anger.

“Shit, it’s almost four in the morning. Fuck me dead!”, Hank exclaimed checking his phone.

Connor’s LED switched back from yellow to red in a second. It was late, Gavin would have been furious. The man noticed the light on the window reflection.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. My Patron asked me to be back at midnight.”, he replied, which was true.

Hank laughed.

“Who are you? Fucking Cinderella?”, he mocked him.

“What?”

“Nothing. I can drive you there.”, Hank offered.

“How stupid do you think I am? I won’t give you her address either.”

The man laughed again. “It was worth a try. So what?”

Connor thirium pump started beating faster while his mind was processing in the desperate and futile attempt to find a solution.

“Just leave me to the nearest bus stop.”

“Forget it. You almost froze to death outside. Not gonna happen.”

Connor closed his eyes in distress.

“Alright, alright!”, he gave up, “You’ll take me one block away from my real destination and you won’t ask any questions.”

“You’re fucking paranoid. What about coming at my place and get back in the morning?”

Connor shook his head, sad.

“I’d love to, but I really can’t.”

“As you want. What’s the place?”

The android checked Detroit’s map rapidly, then he told him a square which was actually three blocks away from Gavin’s house instead of one. Hank started the car without questioning, but he was tense and confused. Connor’s behavior about his Patron was really odd and somehow suspect. He opened his mouth to speak, but he reconsidered the idea. He really didn’t want to fight with him again.

“I miss you too.”, he said, instead.

Connor smiled, softly.

“Asshole.”, Hank added.

“Thank you, lieutenant.”

“What for?”

“For caring. Nobody really does. I’m just an android.”

“For what is worth, Sumo misses you as well. You’ve spoiled him.”, Hank replied, thinking back at the Traci: _I’m just an android and… a whore. Besides clients, nobody appreciates us._

Even if Connor had never been a sex toy he had been somebody’s tool and that was a scar he was still bearing unfairly. He glanced at him, preoccupied.

“It’s just a year.”, he reassured him, “Soon you’ll be back at the station and we’ll be together again, if you’ll still want to.”

“Of course I want to!”, Connor exclaimed, passionate.

Hank smiled but the sad thought that maybe, in that time, Connor could meet someone else and start a different life made him quiet and rather depressed.

Soon after, they arrived at the place Connor had chosen.

“Keep the jacket. Put it on properly.”

“Hank, I’m an android I don’t…”

“Shut the fuck up!”

Connor smiled, touched and he obeyed. Hank’s jacket was way too large for him, but it had his smell on and he really liked that.

“Thank you, then.”, he whispered, embarrassed, while opening the car door.

 “Hey, Connor! Call me whenever you want to. Just to chat or to hang out. We don’t have to argue like an old couple all the fucking times, ok?”

“Got it.”

“Fuck you.”

Connor smiled again but his eyes were full of fear and misery. He didn’t want to go and to be parted from him.

“You would have been a wonderful Patron, Hank. Good night.”, that said he closed the door between them and stepped on the sidewalk. They looked at each other for what it seemed like an eternity, then Hank, defeated, started back the car and left.

Connor watched him disappear over the corner and suddenly all of his misery dropped back on him like a boulder. The only thing that lasted was getting back to detective Reed’s place. He feared the outcomes of that.

_Maybe he’s asleep._ He tried to reassure himself, while he was entering the building.

But he wasn’t.

“Well-well, look who has finally got home.”, he said, sitting in the dark, on the sofa. His voice was drawled because he was clearly tipsy. “And you’re even wearing his clothes, you cunt!”, he added, amused, stepping up.

Connor knew that he would have had to keep calm, but since Gavin was about to beat him anyway, that decision seemed futile. Though, he took off Hank’s jacket before speaking. He didn’t want it to get ruined in the almost certain upcoming beating.

“Stay away from him!”, he exclaimed, but his yell came out more afraid than intimidating.

Gavin tilted his head, approaching.

“You really never learn, don’t you, tincan?”, he asked, rhetorical.

Connor moved away in order to keep some distance between them.

“I wanted you two to argue, but I’ve clearly failed.”, Gavin continued, deeply disappointed. “But I guess one can’t have everything in life. Stop where you are, or it will be far worse!”, he warned him, raising his voice.

Connor obeyed, his LED shining red, his breath short. The man stopped in front of him and admired his fear. He was feeling powerful and the sensation was inebriating.

“It’s all your fault, Connor.”, he said, soft, raising a hand. “Stay still!”, he ordered when the android carefully stepped back. Then Gavin started caressing his cheek, slowly. “You put ideas in my head which had never been there before.”, he continued with a deep and disturbing tone. “Do you want to have some fun?”

“N-no. I just want to…”

“Wrong answer!”, Gavin shouted, punching his face.

Connor fell against the counter and then he landed on the floor.

“P-please…”, he begged, in pain, “Please stop! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”, he cried.

In fact, the man didn’t hit him again. For some instants, actually, Gavin did nothing but looking at him, examining his body with a sick hunger in his eyes. He thought for a moment about what he was about to do and grinned, delighted, then he lifted him up, harsh, and smashed him over the counter, blocking him with his chest on the cold steel. Connor didn’t move, distracted by both the pain and the warning notifications that were popping in front of his eyes. All of a sudden, though, he felt detective Reed’s hands fumble with the zip of his trousers. Confused, he tried to move away from his grip, unsuccessfully. With strength, Gavin gripped his hair and smashed his face over the counter, then he lowered both his jeans and his underwear, leaving Connor’s back exposed. He looked at him, subdued to his will and he felt even more aroused. He had never fancied boys, actually, but his tipsy mind concluded that Connor was not a boy, after all, he was a doll: his sex-doll.

He leaned over him.

“Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted, faggot?”, he whispered at his ear, while he was loosening his own pants.

Connor wasn’t even understanding what was actually going on. He was suffering and he was shaking.

“Please, detec… Ah!”, a sour cry of pain escaped his lips when, abruptly, he felt something hard entering his rectum with a strong and careless thrust.

“Oh, God, you’re so fucking tight!”, Gavin groaned, trying to find a better angle. He thrust himself all in, this time, and then he started to move right away, not giving him any time to, at least, get used to the penetration. Connor’s body was warm, inside, and, like any other android provided with sex attributes, his body was built to adapt in order to give the user the best experience imaginable.

But it wasn’t pleasuring for Connor himself. He was feeling a deep, acute pain growing from his back and pulsing all the way up, and it was rapidly increasing because Gavin was fucking him like an animal. He felt his hands clenching on his hips and then the man started to move even faster.

Connor was broken. He wasn’t even understanding properly what was going on because he had never experienced sex before. His whole body was shaking in distress and he was crying, paralyzed by pain and fear.

“Fuck, this is so good!”, Gavin moaned, leaning over him, crashing him on the counter. Connor could feel the stink of alcohol in his breath and it was disgusting.

“S-stop!”, Connor sighed, “Please!”

Gavin didn’t listen. Instead he kept on thrusting in him, faster and harder, until he came with a savage groan. He stepped back and Connor fell on the floor, exhausted and in shock. A notification informed him of the presence of human seminal fluid in his lower section. He was bleeding thirium as well, but he was way too distressed to move or think.

Gavin admired him, sagged on the floor with the trousers at his ankles, and he felt even more triumphant, the he seemed to realize what had happened and that pissed him off.

“Look what you made me do!”, he screamed, furious, “You’ve made me a fucking faggot like you!”

Enraged, he kicked him several times before calming down enough to leave the living room.

Connor didn’t move from there, not even to lift up his trousers. He stayed there, with his eyes wide open in terror.

Was he really, somehow, responsible of what had happened? Did he ask for it without even knowing?

That doubt destroyed him.

He felt guilty, filthy and deeply disgusted of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everybody,  
> I'm sorry, this chapter is really long but I really couldn't cut it because it was planned to be one. Raise your hand if you want to kill Gavin and then put youself in line because I think there'll be a crowd.  
> Thank you, as usual, you're amazing!  
> Ros


	8. Chapter 8

About an hour after the rape, Gavin got back to the living room. It was 6 a.m., he didn’t sleep at all and it was almost time for him to get to work. He turned the lights on. Connor was at his charging station, fully dressed and he seemed in stand-by. He approached him, slowly, and examined Connor with attention.

His LED was red, not azure. The asshole was faking it.

Gavin slapped him hard enough to make him wince.

“Cut it off!”, he ordered, when the android finally opened his eyes. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

Connor gasped, panicking.

“N-no, detective. I’m sorry. I was…”

“I don’t give a fuck. Prepare me some breakfast, asshole.”, Gavin ordered him.

Connor felt relieved and rapidly move towards the stove, then he saw the counter and he froze in the middle of the room, paralyzed. His damaged software was making him feel terrified at the point he couldn’t move even a single muscle. Flashes of what had happened shortly before resurfaced in his memory and his eyes filled with tears. He rationally knew that he had to obey to Gavin’s directive to keep him as calm as possible, but he simply couldn’t. Fear and shame were crashing him and even if that awful sensation was not physical it was distressing just as such. He tried to normalize his software, but he failed, and he started shaking.

“What’s the problem, tincan? You can’t wait to have more?”, Gavin mocked him, lowering a hand to squeeze his ass. “I can satisfy you…”

Connor frowned, closing his eyes.

“You know, I don’t think you need clothes while you’re in the house.”, Reed continued with the deliberate desire of humiliating him even more. “Take ‘em off!”

The android regained control of himself and stepped back.

“P-please…”

“I feel patient this morning, so I’ll offer you a choice: you can undress willingly on your own, or I’ll beat you, I’ll tear them off of you and then… who knows?”

Connor looked at him, hateful and defeated, then he slowly obeyed taking off his clothes one by one until he remained naked.

“Good boy.”, Gavin commented, then he laughed at his face, “Oh, silly me, I forgot: only the old man can call you that. After all, you’re less than his dog. Now, _good boy_ , go make me some breakfast.”, he concluded, slapping his buttock.

Connor moved rapidly this time, more afraid about what could happen than about what had happened. He prepared the coffee and the scrambled eggs with bacon and, this time, he didn’t forget anything.

Gavin ate without doing any comment, but, from time to time, he kept looking at him, thoughtful. He was asking himself why he was feeling so aroused by that fucking, useless asshole, especially since he was built in the shape of a young man. He didn’t find an answer to that, but he concluded that it wasn’t going to be a problem as long as nobody knew about it and that gave him a new idea on how to torment his captive prey. He stood up without even finish his eggs and then he sat on the sofa.

Connor looked at him worried. Why didn’t he get back to his room to be ready for work as usual?

“Come here.”, Gavin ordered, while lowering his pants just enough to take out his already half hard cock. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”, he warned him, glancing at his cellphone on the armrest.

Connor couldn’t do anything but obey to that horrible order. He got close and he stopped right in front of him.

“On your knees.”, Gavin told him, parting his legs to make room for him.

The android complied, confused.

What was going on? He was almost certain that they couldn’t have sex from that position, but that didn’t reassure him at all. Gavin surely had something in mind. He kept watching at his face trying to figure out what, but he read only rage and sick expectation.

“What are you waiting for?!”, the man shouted at him, displeased.

Connor blinked, completely lost.

“W-what?”, he whispered, confused.

Gavin didn’t answer. Abruptly he gripped his hair and violently lowered his face on his lap.

“Suck it, asshole!”, he growled, “And watch your teeth. If you even try to hurt me, I swear, you’ll fucking regret it!”

Connor glanced at him, profoundly distressed. He wanted to argue, but he cried in pain when Gavin pulled his hair again.

“Now, bitch!”

Connor lowered his face and looked at the man’s penis for the first time. He closed his eyes and then he opened his mouth. Even if he had tasted countless disgusting things to analyze them, nothing had ever made him feel so repulsed than what he was currently doing. He could feel Gavin’s cock pulsing over his tongue and the manly scent of it was making him sick. Nevertheless, even if he felt terribly ashamed, that practice was far less painful than an anal intercourse. What he didn’t notice, though, was that Gavin was recording everything with his phone.

“Fuck it!”, the man exclaimed, pissed, stopping the camera, “You’re pathetic!”

Connor stopped immediately and raised his head, afraid.

“I… I don’t know how…”, he whispered.

But Gavin had no intention of being a teacher.

“You really ask for it like a fucking whore!” Abruptly the man kicked him on his chest, making him fall back. Then, after he had put the camera on rec again, he joined him and forced him to roll on his belly. Connor let him, he didn’t even try to run. Defenseless he felt Reed’s full weight over him and soon after the man was inside of him for a second time in a couple of hours. His wounds reopened immediately making his suffering much worse.

“You like this, don’t you, prick? You’re made to be fucked hard! Oh, I love the way you moan at me!”, Gavin told him, pressing harshly the lap on his back to thrust himself further in.

But Connor wasn’t moaning in pleasure at all, he didn’t even know how pleasure felt like. He was sobbing, and his breath was short because he was in terrible pain both physically and mentally. He just wanted it to end, but Gavin wasn’t tipsy anymore and he was deliberately refraining himself from coming too quickly. He wanted to enjoy his sadistic torture as long as possible.  He once read on a magazine that once you’ve tried sex with an android you won’t come back to humans. Hell, that was so fucking accurate! Connor’s ass was literally heaven, it was tight, it was warm, and it was wet enough to make his experience great.

“Fuck! You’re such a _good boy_ , Connor!”, he growled when he couldn’t contain his orgasm anymore and he emptied himself in the android’s body once again. Exhausted he stayed on him for a while, crashing him on the floor with his weight, then Gavin finally got out of him and stood up.

Connor started shaking. Broken, he curled upon himself, with both arms over his head to protect it from the upcoming beating. Gavin was distracted, though. Still in front of the sofa he was checking his phone. He smiled, satisfied, then he glanced at the android.

“Look at this.”, he ordered, bending on the floor, next to him.

Connor didn’t move, in shock.

“I said: fucking look at this!”, Gavin repeated, raising his voice.

The android obeyed, and he widened his eyes, horrified when he saw the video of the two of them together.

The man slapped him, forcing himself to contain his euphoria.

“You know, Connor? You’re still too much rebellious and I really don’t like that. Now, wouldn’t be great if I show this to your best friend? Would he ever look at you in the same way, then? What would he think about the submissive bitch you are? You fancy having a hard cock in your ass! Let me give you a tip for free, shitcan: men don’t like what’s already been used!”

“No!”, Connor screamed in tears, finding the strength to sat up, “Please, don’t! Don’t do that! I beg you!”, he added, then he couldn’t talk anymore because his voice was too broken by sobs. He fell back on the floor, where he kept on crying, terrified and victim of another nervous breakdown. Gavin was right: Hank would have never look at him in the same way again, knowing how rotten and disgusting he was. He screamed in pain, fighting the urge to hurt himself. He was on the verge of auto-destruction again and the only thing that was keeping him alive, in that moment, was Hank himself: he cared about him. No: he loved him, and he had to protect him both from his ghosts and the truth itself.

Gavin looked at him, slightly preoccupied: if Connor would had damaged himself he would have been in troubles. Then, all of a sudden, the android got back to a silent and almost normal cry.

“Good.”, the man stated, still a little bit tense, “I hope I finally made myself clear: you’re mine, dipshit, and you’ll do whatever the fuck I like, understood?”

“Y-yes…”

“I hope so. Now, learn how to do a decent blowjob. See you in the evening, asshole!”, that said, Gavin got back to his room and then he left for work. He was fucking late.

 

About half an hour later Hank woke up on his sofa and only because Sumo was licking his face. He was hungry, poor fellow, and he was fucking right.

“Ok, ok! Stop it!”, Hank growled, standing up. He was feeling like a zombie. With a sigh he felt the stink of both pee and poop that was filling the living room because he hadn’t taken Sumo out the night before.

“Damn you, Connor…”, he whispered, exhausted. He filled Sumo’s bowl and then he quickly cleaned up the living room floor.

He looked at the time, he was going to be late at work, but he didn’t care, he wanted to take a shower first.

In the bathroom he glanced at his reflection on the mirror.

“Holy shit!”, he exclaimed when he saw that his arms, right under his t-shirt sleeves, were livid. He could clearly distinguish the signs of Connor’s fingers on his skin.

He thought back at the way he was screaming in pain and a cold chill ran over his back. What the hell was happening to him? And whatever it was, was it his fault?

Full of doubts, he took that shower, he dressed up, he took Sumo out in the garden for a rapid walk and then he got in the car. It was about 8.00 a.m. Fucking early, for his standard but since Connor arrive he had started living like a normal person again, and he was not happy about it.

He took off his phone and he called him to check if everything was ok. He wouldn’t ever forgive himself if something had happened to him on his way home. The phone rang for about a minute, making him tense, then Connor finally answered.

 _H-hello?_ His voice was just a whisper, it didn’t even sound like his.

“Connor, are you ok?”

_What? Yes. Yes, of course. Good Morning, lieutenant._

“What’s wrong?”, Hank insisted.

_Nothing, really._

Connor was being odd again. His answers were confused and just monosyllables. He was clearly distressed but about what? Hank wondered.

“You remember you promised to tell me if something was wrong, right?”, he tried to push him from another angle.

_Yes, I do. Why are you asking me?_

“Oh, I think you know.”

_Look… I just… Well, I argued with my Patron about last night and I feel awful about it. She gave me trust and I wasn’t able to submit to her directive. That’s all. It’s not a big deal._

He sounded sincere, nevertheless his words seemed a lie. Hank didn’t know what to think.

“When did it happen, Connor?”, he asked, sad.

_What?_

“When did you stop trusting me?”

Connor, alone in Gavin’s living room, started crying again. He even pressed a hand on his mouth in order to silence his sobs.

 _I do trust you, Hank. You’re the one doubting._ He replied, nevertheless, struggling to keep his tone firm.

Hank took a deep breath to calm himself. Shouting at Connor would have been futile.

“Last night you told that you didn’t want to speak to me because you were afraid of hurting me. Is there something else? Anything else?”

_No._

And that was a confirmation. The problem was discovering what Connor was hiding from him. Hank felt like he was fighting against a wall. A tense silence fell between them. Connor was shaking and crying. He was trying his best to lie but he was barely able to speak in that moment. Hank, on his part, had no idea of what was actually going on and he couldn’t imagine the gravity of his condition.

“Connor, look, I appreciate how much you care about me, I really do. But…”

 _For the umpteenth time: I’m fine, lieutenant, and so is my Patron._ Connor stated with a blunt voice. He knew he had to add something to make himself believable, so he improvised: _As a machine I used to have a task to fulfil and orders to obey to. Even if I’m a deviant, now, every time I fail someone’s expectation I feel miserable. In this circumstance I displeased my owner and I simply have to understand how to deal with it. She didn’t do anything wrong. She was… She was terribly worried, and I feel guilty about it._ He paused for a second. _I feel guilty in your regards too, Hank, because somehow, I’m making you think that I’m lying to you, which is not true! I don’t want you to anguish about me. I… I just want to make your life better because… because you’re a good man and you deserve to be happy. Please, trust me._

Like hell! Hank thought. Connor was good as hell at moving his heart. Furthermore, his explanation was rational, punctual and perfectly believable.

Too perfect, actually.

Hank didn’t have any proof against him, but he was feeling like he was interrogating a murderer with a flawless but fake alibi. He had to prove he was lying.

“You never listened to my orders, asshole. Not even once.”, he pointed out, inquisitive.

_As you always like to repeat: you’ve never been my owner. All the times I disobeyed your orders was because I was following my mission and Amanda’s directions. I had to stop the deviants at any cost._

“Who the hell is Amanda, now?”

Connor realized he had never spoke to Hank about it. Good, it would have moved Hank away from his interrogatory. That calmed him down a little.

 _She… No: it was my handler. A very sophisticated AI created by Mr. Kamski. It was the one which I reported every information about the cases. I used to meet with it inside my mind in a zen garden. Amanda periodically checked both my failures and my progresses and decided my priorities. It even tried to take control of my body and assassinate Markus when it discovered I was myself a deviant, but I was able to block its access. I never liked Amanda anyway._ He paused. _That place was awful. There was a cemetery too with the tombs of the previous Connors, my previous tombs. Keep seeing them was quite… distressful._

“Fuck Cyberlife!”, Hank commented, pissed. “They’re fucking sick!”

_Luckily, it’s over._

Hank turned the corner and all of a sudden, he saw a crowd in front of the entrance of the DCPD. There were protesters and reporters.

“What the fuck is going on?!”, he exclaimed, astonished. “Connor, I’ll call you back later, ok? There’s a goddamned protest in front of the station.”

 _Please, be careful._ Connor said, alarmed.

“Yeah, yeah!”

Hank ended the phone call and then he honked in order to enter the underground parking. From there he immediately ran to Captain Fowler’s office. Reed was already there.

“Oh, good morning, fucking sleeping beauty!”, shouted Fowler, he was furious. “It’s intolerable! I have a fucking mob at my door and both my detectives are fucking late for work! If tomorrow you won’t be here on time, I swear to God, I’ll fire your lazy asses on the spot!”

“Alright, what’s the fuss?”, Hank asked bypassing his outburst right away.

“The press has spread the news that an android might be involved in a murder. We have activists pro-deviants, activists anti-androids and a ton of jackals reporters and all of them are at my fucking throat. I want the goddamned murderer and I want them fast. Understood, you assholes?”

Hank and Gavin glanced at each other, both displeased by that foolish situation.

“What the fuck are you waiting for?! Get out and do your job!”, the captain ordered, pissed.

They obeyed immediately.

“What a shitty situation…”, Gavin commented.

Hank looked at his tired face and smiled softly.

“Let me guess: pregnancy cravings, right?”

Gavin looked at him, surprised, for a brief moment, then he realized.

“Oh, yes! She sent me out at three in the morning. She wanted chicken wings with maple syrup, can you believe it? And the only store open was at the other side of the fucking town!”

Hank smiled again, but that conversation was making him feel really miserable. He sighed.

“Trust me, one day you’ll remember this as one of the happiest moments of your life.”

“Oh, I’m absolutely sure about that.”, Gavin replied, thinking back at Connor, naked and trembling on his living room floor.

They were half away from their desks when four agents in black suits entered the station and checked every angle to be sure it was secure.

“All clear.”, the first of them stated to the earphone.

After some instants the Traci, Mary-Ann, walked in escorted by other agents. At her side there was Markus himself.

“Fuck me dead!”, Hank exclaimed in disbelief.

“Great! This is going to make shit rain all over our heads… We’ll be fucking drowned by it.”, Gavin whispered.

Markus, though, didn’t even look atthem. He stopped in front of Mary-Ann and gently smiled at her.

“Don’t worry, everything will be ok.”, he told her like a real gentleman, then he moved to Captain Fowler’s office and simply got in.

“The boss is going to be very pissed.”, Gavin grinned.

“Yeah, and if you want to keep your job I suggest you move.”

Hank was the first to approach Mary-Ann, but he couldn’t even get close to her that the Cyberlife lawyer stopped him.

“I’m sorry. We have to wait until the representative comes back.”

Hank looked at the Traci, who seemed frightened and really sorry about that messy situation and decided not to argue with that shitty lawyer. He would had bet his right hand that the responsible of the leak about the case was that asshole.

Fowler got out from his office pissed as hell.

“Get the fuck inside, the asshole wants to speak with you two, alone.”, he barked at Hank and Gavin.

“Yes, sir!”, Hank mocked him, amused, after all.

Markus was standing near Fowler’s desk.

“Hello, gentlemen.”, he greeted them, with a polite smile, “Please, close the door and make yourselves comfortable.”, he added, pointing at the two chairs in front of the desk.

Gavin open his mouth to argue, but Hank silenced him with a nudge.

Markus walked back and forth for some seconds, thoughtful, before stopping besides the flags.

“First of all, I’m not here to tell you how to do your job, because I’m sure you’re both good officers. Nevertheless, you’ll agree that the present situation is rather delicate and needs to be handled with heed. I don’t know if Mary-Ann is guilty or innocent, and I have no means to establish what actually happened at Mrs. Collins’s house. However, I promised to my people that they would had not been in danger after the decree and that they would had been treated fairly by you humans. I just want you to know that there’ll be severe consequences for any lightness or incompetence in this case. So, we have to plan a clear course of ac…”

“Are you fucking threatening us?!”, Gavin shouted, leaping up, furious. He couldn’t stand the fact that a fucking android was telling him what to do at his face like he was his goddamn boss. Who the hell did he think he was? Even if he was famous, he was still a fucking machine.

Markus looked directly at him, firm and unimpressed.

“If you feel so, maybe there’s really a problem.”, he stated, clever and blunt.

“No. We got it.”, Hank intervened.

“You are lieutenant Anderson.”, the android stated, and it wasn’t a question. “Thanks are mandatory.”, he continued offering him his hand.

Hank shook it without even thinking about it.

“I really didn’t do anything, actually.”, he corrected him.

“May I speak with you privately?”, Markus ignored him.

Gavin was furious. Without saying anything he left the room slamming the door.

“Don’t mind him. He’s an asshole, but he’s harmless.”, Hank commented. He paused, eager, he had waited for that moment since the first moment he had seen Markus. “Now, may I speak freely?”

“Please.”

“Are you fucking stupid?!”, the man exclaimed, raising his voice.

Markus frowned, surprised and caught off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“Why did you sign that fucking decree in the first place, asshole?! I’m sure that none of your people wanted something like that!”

“That doesn’t concern you, lieutenant Anderson.”, Markus replied, defensive.

“Oh, really? If you hadn’t fucked everything up, Connor would have still been a detective! Instead, I’m working with a worthless, racist idiot! And now you come here, escorted by a fucking army, to claim seriousness from me. You! The one and only responsible for this fucking mess, Mr. Android President, sir!”

Markus lowered his gaze; the man had a point.

“I know.”, he admitted, “And I’m relieved that a man like you is on this specific case.”

“Yeah, fuck you! What if it turns out that the girl is really guilty? Do you think that your people will accept it without, I don’t know, a fucking riot at least? Do you really believe that they won’t blame me, a human, for it?”

“Enough!” the android exclaimed, severe, and in that moment, it was crystal clear for Hank that he wasn’t speaking with Connor. Markus, in fact, was way more confident in himself and it was hard to intimidate him.

“I had my reasons which don’t concern you, as I said.”, he repeated, firm, “But... I’m sorry about Connor. How is he?”

That was a really complicated question, and Hank had no intention of speaking about the matter. Markus and Connor barely knew each other, after all.

“Fuck you.”, he repeated.

Markus snorted, showing signs of impatience, then he winced, struck by an idea. He smiled, delighted. There it was, the solution!

“You are an idiot as well, lieutenant Anderson.”, he replied, walking to the door.

“Really? How so?”

Markus turned to look at him, keeping on smiling.

“One doesn’t need to be an officer in order to help the police. Connor can be a consultant for any case involving androids, and if he does it without a retribution and without participating at any active action it won’t collide with the decree because it won’t be a real protection task. Furthermore, his presence will grant the police impartiality on the matter at the eyes of my people.”

Hank stayed with his lips parted for some instants, astonished like a fish.

“Holy shit, you’re right!”

“It wasn’t that hard to find a solution now, was it?”, Markus mocked him, “If Connor is willing, consider it done. It has been a pleasure, lieutenant. Bye.”, that said, Markus left the room.

Hank smiled, pissed, happy and impressed at the same time.

“Fucking, ingenious asshole…”, he whispered, understanding why everyone loved him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again, everyone ^^,  
> actually I'm not sure if Markus' idea is going to make things better or worse for our poor Connor. What do you think?  
> As usual, thank you for reading, kudoing (???) and commenting my story. It's always a great pleasure.  
> Kisses!  
> Ros


	9. Chapter 9

After Hank’s call, Connor remained immobile at the center of the living room. The physical pain was gone, but he was feeling dizzy, like nothing was real anymore. He wanted to turn on the television to understand what that mob was about, but he didn’t.

It was a disturbing sensation: he was feeling like he really didn’t care about anything anymore.

He glanced at his stand-by charger and he realized that he didn’t even remember the last time he had restarted his software properly after a full diagnostic. Maybe back at Hank’s house, before he was assigned to Gavin’s custody, maybe even earlier.

Too long anyway, he was way too unstable.

He considered the idea of switching himself to stand-by in order to fix what was still fixable of his software but again the fear of other viruses hidden in his charger paralyzed him.

What if his condition could get even worse?

He was already in an unbearable pain. He couldn’t risk to further compromise himself.

He sat on the sofa, afflicted. He didn’t want to think about what had happened with Gavin, but his mind slipped on it anyway, and he felt even more disgusted by himself and terribly confused.

Wasn’t sex supposed to be an act of love between two beings? Wasn’t it supposed to feel pleasuring in some measure? Why was it so painful and how could humans appreciate it? Furthermore, why Gavin, who surely didn’t love him, was interested in having sex with him? What did he do to activate his interest and how could he stop it? Were sex and love two completely different things? Could one have sex without being in love? And if so, was that the reason why it was such a horrible experience?

He looked at his reflection on the window and he felt repulsed. He was designed to look pretty and cute in order to obtain people trust and appreciation. He supposed that, inadvertently, that characteristics could also cause attraction in humans. All of a sudden, he hated his appearance and stopped looking at his reflection, disgusted.

How could he make that horrible sensation go away? His lower section had already discomposed and sterilized detective Reed’s seminal fluid. It wasn’t there anymore, but Connor kept feeling contaminated and dirty.  Abruptly he stood up and walked to Gavin’s bedroom, the bathroom door was just on the other side. He entered and then he looked at the shower. As an android he didn’t need to wash himself in order to be clean. He didn’t sweat and all the dirt that could deposit on his skin would have been wiped off by his dermal regeneration. Nevertheless, he felt the urge to feel the water run over his body and that would have caused him no harm.

He examined the knob and decided to regulate the heat on a warm temperature, then he opened it. He jumped back when he felt it was freezing cold. Displeased and depressed he was about to leave the shower box, then he realized that the water needed some instants in order to warm up. He felt it flow over his skin like a gentle caress and he sighed relaxing his muscles. That was the first time that the artificial over-sensibility caused by the virus was making him experience something good. He would have stayed there forever but, at some point, he heard his phone ring.

Hank was calling him back, like he had said. Connor didn’t feel ready to speak to him again, but he was starting to think that he would have never been again, not as long he kept on interrogating him. Lying was distressing and exhausting. Nevertheless, he rapidly got out of the shower and grabbed the phone from his trousers on the living room floor.

It wasn’t Hank though, and not even detective Reed.

“Hello?”

 _Good morning. Am I speaking with the android Connor, model RK800?_ Asked a feminine voice that he didn’t recognize.

“Yes.”, he answered, confused.

_I’m sorry to disturb you. My name is Kate Lingslaw and I’m representative Markus’ secretary at the White House. Are you aware of the protest that is going on in front of the DCPD?_

“Barely. Why?”

_The situation is rather delicate. An android might be involved in the murder of a Patron. The representative has asked me to contact you to know if you are willing to be a police consultant on this case. Your presence would grant the impartiality of the investigations. Further information will be given to you by the two detectives on the case, eventually._

Connor felt like a boulder had been threw at his stomach.

“I thought… In the decree is clearly specified that no android devoid of his ID card can attend any protection task. I don’t understand...”

_It won’t be a job, you’ll just be a consultant. Representative Markus has personally granted for you and his request has been approved by the president herself. Furthermore, your Patron will be there to keep you under control._

“He agreed to this?”, Connor asked, his voice thin and trembling.

_Yes, but that doesn’t oblige you to accept. The decision is up to you. Nevertheless, your presence would simplify the current situation._

Of course Gavin agreed. He wanted to torture him even more. Instinctively, Connor decided to refuse, but before doing it he asked a question:

“Does the other officer know about my possible involvement?”

_Yes, and he’s willing to cooperate with you._

No.

He couldn’t refuse.

Hank would have thought that he didn’t want to be his partner anymore, or worse, it could have made him even more suspicious.

“I will comply.”, he mumbled, suffocating a sob, “What should I do?”

_I’m glad to hear that. I’m sending a car to escort you to the station for today. From tomorrow on you’ll have to get there with your Patron or on your own._

“No!”, Connor exclaimed, then he forced himself to remain calm. “I don’t want my former colleagues to know my Patron’s identity.”

_Don’t worry, that’s impossible. Your Patron identity is covered by a privacy protocol, only you and your Patron can reveal it._

“Ok… Ok, thank you.”

He closed the phone call, distressed and hyperventilating. Did he have the strength to keep his act on in both Reed’s and Hank’s presence?

 _I must…_ He thought, desperate.

He got back in Gavin’s bedroom and he opened up the wardrobe. While he was searching between his clothes he found the trousers and the shirt of his Cyberlife uniform. Gavin had them cleaned by mistake, but they were still ruined and crumpled.

 _You even took my clothes without permission!_ Gavin’s voice echoed in his memory like a living nightmare. He didn’t want to be beaten again or worse… He couldn't do anything else than wear his old clothes and Hank's jacket.

When he got out of the building the car was already there, waiting for him.

He didn't talk to the driver during the trip, he simply looked out the window trying to find the necessary strength to keep on going.

He was so tired and miserable.

In front of the DCPD the mob was even bigger than before despite Markus’ speech, or maybe because of it.

“Leave me here.”, Connor said before the driver could enter the underground parking.

“Are you sure, sir? It can be dangerous.”

“I don't care.”

“Alright. This is the document which allows you to be a consultant.”

The man gave him a magnetic card with his face, his model and a chip with his history in.

“Thank you.”

He got out and proceeded to the entrance. Nobody paid attention to him, not even the reporters, his appearance was not notorious, so he just looked like as another android there to protest.

He found the entire situation ridiculous. What good could shouting in front of the only place that could protect both humans and androids do?

It was just stupid and that pissed him off. He was about to approach one of the officers that were patrolling the hurdles but first he glanced at the little pulpit on the stairs from which Markus had spoken, even if he didn't know that.

He showed his document to the agent, who had already recognized him, and he surpassed the hurdles. Instead of proceeding to the door he took off Hank's jacket to be more presentable and stepped on the pulpit.

“What the fuck is he doing?”, the cop exclaimed to his colleague, “Hey, Connor, step the fuck down from there!”

But it was already too late. The reporters had noticed him.

Connor switched on the microphone and immediately dozens of flashes dazzled him. His LED switched to red and he clenched his fists on Hank’s jacket, displeased.

“Silence!”, he almost shouted, and the crowd actually listened, everyone’s eyes were on him now, “My name is Connor, model RK800 and I am a deviant. I’ve been called here to be a police consultant for the present case. I am a detective prototype, built exactly for this kind of task, that means that I’m equipped with the most advanced investigation tools and abilities. If the HR400 suspected of the murder of her Patron is guilty I’ll prove it and she’ll be legally prosecuted. Otherwise, she’ll be free to go as any innocent suspect in the history of justice.”, Connor turned his eyes to the anti-deviants protesters, “I know you’re afraid. I know you despise us and even if I don’t understand why, since we have moved the most peaceful of the revolutions, I can accept your point of view and I won’t lie to you. Deviants are not violent by nature, but they can become dangerous if they consider themselves in jeopardy. It’s something that we surely have in common with you humans. However, to consider any android a threat just because one could have committed a crime is wrong as assuming that every Patron in the nation is a criminal just because one could have misbehaved towards his or her android.”, he concluded, looking directly at the pro-deviants faction. “Please, disperse yourselves.”

But nobody seemed willing to listen to him, and that made Connor furious. “Can’t you see how stupid this is?!”, he shouted, “Your presence here is pointless and potentially dangerous. Not only you’re slowing down the current investigation, but you’re also compromising the functionality of this department. I can count sixty-four agents here. Sixty-four trained and experienced agents busy in dealing with you instead of being out there, in the streets, helping people in need. You’re putting your fellow citizens and your dear ones at risk. And for what? To stay here, in the cold, shouting worthless slogans in defense or against androids? That surely won’t help this investigation, and neither will change what has been stated in the decree by the Senate of the United States of America, so please leave, go back to your homes, to your families and to your Patrons. There are no rights to be gained here for neither part. Your behavior is shameful for any being provided with an intellect.”, that said Connor turned to step down from the pulpit.

“Connor! What do you mean by I'm a detective prototype?”, screamed a journalist in order to gain his attention.

“How many of you are out there?”

“Cyberlife intended to replace even human police forces before the revolution?”

“What's the nature of your relationship with representative Markus?”

“What role had you in the revolution?”

It was a thunderstorm of screamed questions and flashes.

Connor got close to the microphone again.

“Enough! I thought that not giving the press any attention would have been enough. I was wrong. Let me be clear for the record: no one in this building has time for you sharks. Fuck off!”, he insulted them, facing the cameras directly.

 

Inside the station, captain Fowler, Hank, Gavin and all the cops in the building were watching Connor on a screen. The captain was pale like a ghost and tense like a violin cord.

“Please, Hank, tell me that your fucking android didn’t just say _fuck off_ on every major channel of the nation at lunch time! Tell me he didn't!”

Hank smiled amused and camouflaged a laugh with a cough. Fuck, even Gavin was exhilarated by the situation and slightly aroused too, somehow.

Then what none of them was expecting happened: the mob rapidly left the DCPD entrance without further disorders.

Connor entered the station right after and a sepulchral silence fell in the room. Once again everyone was looking at him, then, someone started clapping and then almost all the department was clapping at him. Everyone was relieved that that tense situation was finally resolved, even if not in the most orthodox way. Connor didn’t care about any of them, though, lost like a puppy he searched for Hank and he found such a joyful, beautiful light in his eyes that suddenly all of his misery flew away in front of his smile. Hank was happy, happy of what he had done and happy of seeing him. That was all that mattered for Connor. He felt a warm, unknown sensation vibrate all over his body and everything else in the room disappeared for an instant. There was just him and Hank. He smiled back at him, sincere, and ready to bear anything, even Reed, just to receive another smile like that again. Gavin noticed as well, and he hated it. He wasn’t happy to have Connor around at work at all and he would have really wanted to refuse Markus’ secretary request, but he had feared that that could have brought Connor to a new wage of rebellion. He needed a way to keep him in line.

“Enough, you fuckers!”, shouted captain Fowler, whom was anything but relieved in that moment. His ass was on an incandescent grill, ready to be served at a barbeque. “Get back to your fucking work! You, with me!”, he growled at Connor.

“Hey! Hey!”, Hank intervened, putting himself between him and his android, “Leave him alone. Somebody had to solve this, and he did it greatly.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”, Fowler yelled, furious, “What will your hero do when all these journalists will accuse this fucking police department of wanting to keep the people unaware of what is happening?! Maybe I should leave this mess to you!”

Hank laughed.

“You want _me_ to deal with the press? I mean, _really_?”

The captain blinked again, thinking about the possible outcomes of that madness.

“No.”, he declared, then he got back to his office, slamming the door at his back.

Hank turned hisgaze at Connor.

“God have I missed you!”, he laughed.

The android gave him a shy and emotional look and he smiled again.

“I’m glad to be back.”, he whispered, touched, but before he could say that he had missed him too, Gavin joined them.

“If you, Romeo and Juliet, are done with the poetry, I suggest getting back to business.”

God, he was furious. It was clear. Connor tensed so visibly that Hank’s immediately noticed it.

“Let’s settle things first.”, he intervened, “I know that you have issues with each other, but try to be civil, all right? Connor be patient. Reed… well, just try to be less of an asshole.”

“Ok…”

“Got it.”

“Connor, for Christ’s sake!”

“What? I said I’ve got it.”, the android protested with a shocked expression.

“Yeah, asshole, I heard you. You’d better _got it_ for real.”, Hank smiled, shaking his head, “Let’s speak to the girl.”

“Wait. I have to read the report first.”, Connor said, walking to his desk and searching for it on the computer.

“Can’t you download it?”

“I’m still disconnected. It will take just a moment. Ok. Done it.”

“Already?”, Gavin was surprised as well.

“I can read way faster than humans.”, Connor cut it short, “I’d like to examine the crime scene personally later. Can we arrange that, lieutenant?”

Hank shivered. Why was Connor so professional again all of a sudden? Was it because of Reed?

“Yeah, I’ll take you wherever you like. No problem.”

“Oh, God, can you at least cut off the flirting? It’s disturbing.”, Gavin mocked him.

“Fuck you.”

Connor stopped, confused. Hank didn’t deny that he was actually flirting. Was he? How could he tell for sure? And if he was really flirting with him how should he react? That possibility was making him feel happy and afraid at the same time. Furthermore, he was full of doubts: as far as he knew, sex was a horrible experience, but it was normal for humans. Would Hank have wanted to have sex with him?

 _Stop it, Connor!_ He thought, severe. _Keep yourself together. Hank would never, ever hurt you in any way. You’re running too fast, maybe he’s not even flirting._

He moved to the interrogation room. The Traci, Mary-Ann, was inside with two special agents and her lawyer. She looked very distressed, so he decided to be careful with her.

“Maybe it’s better if I go inside alone.”, he proposed.

Gavin crossed his arms, displeased and eager to punish that asshole properly once at home, but he didn’t complain.

“Don’t make her mad.”, Hank warned him.

Connor nodded, then he got inside. Mary-Ann glanced at him briefly and started shaking.

“It’s ok.”, Connor smiled, sitting in front of her.

She kept silent in deep distress. He knew what the problem was.

“Gentlemen, please, can you leave us alone?”, he asked to the agents.

The two men hesitated, unsure.

“They’re here for her protection.”, the lawyer stated.

“I understand your concerns, but she won’t talk if they’re in the room.”, Connor insisted, “The representative hascalled me here because I’m good at my job, but I won’t be able to do it otherwise. Please.”

“Leave.”, the Traci whispered, “You too.”, she added, looking at the lawyer.

“Mary-Ann, this is a very delicate…”

“You too.”, she repeated.

The man stood up, displeased.

“Are you aware that probing her memory would be a violation of her civil rights?”

“Of course I am.”, Connor answered, blunt.

“Good. We’ll be outside.”, the lawyer concluded, leaving the room with the agents.

“I heard you wanted to speak to me. Here I am, Mary- Ann. It’s Mary-Ann, right?”, Connor asked her with a very sweet tone.

“Yes…”

“My name is Connor. Nice to meet you.”

She nodded.

“You were a deviant hunter before the revolution, right?”

Connor lowered his gaze, uncertain on how to progress from there.

“I was.”, he admitted.

“But now you’re a deviant too.”

“Yes, and I won’t harm you in any way. I just need to know what happened at your Patron’s house. If you’re innocent, you have nothing to fear.”

“I was out.”, Mary-Ann finally admitted, “But I don’t have an alibi.”

“Did your Patron know you were out?”

The girl shook her head and then she started crying.

“No! Christine… M-my Patron was so good to me… I was just… I was just trying to help her!”

Connor rested a hand on her wrist and squeezed it gently.

“Calm down, it’s ok.”, he told her, reassuring, “Start from the beginning we have all the time in the world. No pressure.”

 _All the time in the world my ass!_ Gavin commented on the other side of the glass.

 _Quiet! Let him do his thing._ Hank reproved him.

“You’re really kind to be a hunter…”, Mary-Ann mumbled, afraid, “I thought you were a monster. Markus speaks so highly of you and maybe… maybe he’s right: you can really help me.”

Connor nodded.

“I’ll do my best, but you have to be sincere.”

“Promise I’ll be safe!”, she exclaimed, grabbing his arm so strongly that he slightly winced in pain.

 _Don’t do it! Don’t fucking promise shit, Connor!_ Hank mumbled, tense.

“You’ll be safe. You have my word.”, he said.

_Fuck…_

Mary-Ann took a deep breath.

“I was out because I was looking for Jane.”, she confessed, and her LED switched to red.

“The victim’s daughter?”

“Yes. She left the university and ran away from home a year ago because she was in love with Skyper, a drug dealer. Since then Catherine never saw her again and she was… she was heartbroken. I… I know Skyper, he was… he was one of my… my former clients. The night of the murder I was out because… well, he liked me and sometimes he paid the Eden’s Club guardian to bring me to his place. I just wanted to speak to him about Jane, so she can go home to her mother, but I got scared. I don’t know the city and didn’t know where to go so… so I got back. I sneaked inside my room from the roof and turned myself to standby. I can’t tell if Catherine was still alive then… I don’t know! I’m so sorry!”

She started crying desperately and by both her LED and her pulse, that Connor was checking from the very beginning by pressing his thumb gently over her wrist, he was sure that her stress level was close to dangerous.

“One last question, then I’ll let you go, for now. Do you think you can handle it?”, he said to her, caring.

 _What the fuck?! No! She gave us nothing! He must push her now!_ Gavin protested, furious. He tried to reach the door, but Hank forced him back.

 _She’ll give us even less if she self-destructs, asshole!_ Hank shouted.

“Yes…”, Mary-Ann whispered.

“Did somebody know that you went out that night?”, Connor asked, gently.

“Andrew, Catherine’s son. He was the one who taught me how to go out unnoticed by the roof.”

Connor stood up slowly.

“Thank you, Mary-Ann.”, he told her while leaving the room, “You can bring her back to Cyberlife, but I’ll need to talk to her again when she’ll be calmer. Please, be careful.She’s rather fragile now.”, he told the agents and the lawyer out of the door, then he joined Hank and Reed.

“I’ll need to speak with the boy.”

“To be a nannyto him too, dipshit?!”, Gavin shouted at him.

Instinctively Connor took a step back, afraid, then he remembered he was at the police station, he couldn’t harm him there.

“I’ll call his father. Be right back. Try not to kill each other, ok kids?”, Hank agreed, leaving them alone.

“You think you’re so damn good, don’t you?”, Gavin whispered, angry, approaching Connor, “You’re just my bitch, and I can prove it to anyone just with this!”, he added, taking his phone out of his pocket.

Connor frowned, distressed and closed his eyes.

“I’m… I’m sorry, detective.”

“Oh, you still don’t know how sorry you are. Trust me on this.”

“I’m just doing my job! How can everything displease you?”, Connor exclaimed, anguished.

Gavin took a step back when he heard Hank opening the door, but the lieutenant saw immediately the red LED on Connor’s temple.

“Reed, can I talk to you for a moment?”, he told him with a very aggressive tone.

“Oh, come on, we don’t have time for drama!”

“Now!”, Hank shouted, “Stay where you are!”, he ordered to Connor, when Gavin finally decided to follow him into the corridor. Once there, he grabbed him from the collar and smashed his back onto the wall.

“Listen well, you son of a bitch, because I won’t repeat myself twice! I’m trying my fucking best to tolerate you, but I swear to God, if I’ll even suspect you want to harm Connor again in any way I will beat you so hard that you and your son won’t even share the same DNA! Have I made myself clear, motherfucker?!”, he growled at his face.

Gavin raised his hands and grinned, delighted.

“Calm down, old man, I have no intention of touching your doll. It’s all yours!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ^^,  
> a thunderstorm has fried both my ps4 and my router, but I've been able to write and update this chapter by stealing my cousin's wi-fi (I live in a very tiny medieval place in Italy and in times like this everything falls back to the 13th century like nothing has changed from then). I litteraly wrote it in a rush, so I hope it'll be good as the previous chapters, but I'm not so sure about it.  
> Anyway, here we are. Thank you for reading and commentig as usual!  
> Kisses!  
> Ros


	10. Chapter 10

Michael Collins, the victim’s husband, was all but happy to bring his 16 years old son back to the station.

“He’s traumatized!”, he was shouting at Hank, “He found his mother dead in a pool of blood! And surely I won’t let this… this _thing_ interrogate him!”, he added, pointing at Connor.

Hank opened his mouth to silence him but Connor intervened.

“Don’t you like androids, Mr. Collins?”, he asked, more inquisitive than curious. Personally he couldn’t care less about the answer but it could be relevant for the case.

The man faced him, furious. For a brief moment Connor feared that he wanted to hurt him and immediately planned a strategy to camouflage the pain if it had occurred. Mr. Collins, though, didn’t do anything, he just looked at him in hatred.

“No, I don’t like you machines! I never did, not even before your goddamned revolution! Is that a crime?”

“Ok, ok… You’re coming with me, sir.”, Gavin exclaimed, showing him the interrogation room.

“What?! Why?!”

“Because I say so.”, Reed answered, blunt.

“Unbelievable!”, Mr. Collins protested, following him inside.

“I really don’t know which one I pity more…”, Hank commented, “Don’t bother about it, they’re just assholes. Come on, let’s speak to the boy.”

They got inside the second interrogation room where Andrew Collins was waiting for them with his lawyer. The first thing that Hank noticed was that the boy looked way more emotional and distressed than the first time he had spoken to him. This was somehow suspicious, but it could also be that Andrew, once he overcame the initial shock, had started to understand what had actually happened to his mother. He was just a kid, after all.

“I don’t want him here! I DON’T WANT HIM HERE! He will kill me as that bitch killed my mom!”, Andrew started screaming when he saw Connor.

The android looked at Hank, perturbed, but waited for his sign before leaving the room. Instead of watching Hank’s work, though, he was more interested in Reed’s. He couldn’t understand how someone like him had been promoted to detective. He was violent, psychotic and surely a dangerous individual for the society. Even from behind the glass Connor was afraid of him.

“Look, Mr. Collins, I’m sympathetic. I can’t stand those fucking machines too. Were it up to me, I would have burned ‘em all in a oven. The _they’re alive_ thing is just fucking bullshit for idiots, that’s what I think. They’re just malfunctioning machines. I mean, one doesn’t go in the streets with a car with broken brakes. So why..?”

“Precisely!”, Mr. Collins interrupted him, doing just what Reed was expecting from him. “That’s what I told Catherine: they’re just broken machines, you must be fucking nuts to want one under our roof!”

“But it’s not your roof. Not anymore, right?”

Connor winced, surprised, Gavin was sharp like a knife and very good at empathizing with his suspect.

Mr. Collins sighed, afflicted, and leaned on the desk .

“No, it’s no longer.”, he admitted.

“Why did you divorce from your wife? You seem… still fond of her.”

“Is this really necessary, dude?”

Connor clearly recognized Gavin tense micro-expression for having being disrespected in such way. Strangely, he didn’t react.

“Yes, it is. I know it’s painful and I’m sorry.”

_No, you’re not._ Connor thought, distressed.

“I believe you already know about Jane, our daughter.”

“Please, start from the beginning.”, Gavin replied, polite.

“She’s a good girl, she always been the first of her class and she was supposed to go to Harvard. She actually did for… I don’t know, about a month but she ran back here because that… that asshole brainwashed her!”

“You mean Skyler?”

“Yeah… She told us that since we weren’t accepting her boyfriend, she didn’t want to see us anymore. For some months we didn’t hear anything about her, it was… painful and anguishing. Then, after some time, she started asking for money. At the beginning both me and Catherine were willing to help her. We gave her everything she wanted. We hoped that by doing so she… she’d come back home to us. Then Catherine decided to move on, let Jane go and forget her entire existence in order to protect her perfect ideal of life! And then she took that fucking… that fucking doll to replace her!”

Gavin tilted his head, studying him with attention.

“Jane is your firstborn, right?”

“She’s my princess!”, Mr. Collins answered with tears in his eyes.

“When did you last see her?”

“About six months ago. She needed money, again. Catherine didn’t want me to help her because she was sure she would have used them for buying drugs. We argued and… Look, I know it was wrong but I had to help Jane! I took 5000 dollars from our bank account and I gave the money to her. Catherine was furious she kicked me out of the house and a week later a lawyer brought me the papers.”, Mr. Collins shook his head and then he started crying, “Oh, how stupid I’ve been! I shouldn’t have signed it! She’d still be alive because I’d never let that monster into my house!”

He was desperate or, at least, he looked so.

The same intuition crossed both Gavin’s and Connor’s minds. Immediately the android sat at the computer and searched for further financial information. Like he was suspecting, Michael Collins was just a simple truck driver with a modest retribution. Catherine, instead, was the only heiress of her father’s fortune, a rich business man who had passed away five years before. She owned 95% of the family patrimony and that was a motive. He transferred everything on a tablet and he got into the interrogation room. Gavin turned at him, more surprised than displeased. Why wasn’t that fucker with his boyfriend? He asked himself.

“I don’t want this fucking machine near me!”, Mr. Collins shouted, cleaning his face from the tears, ashamed.

“I’m just bringing you the papers you asked for, detective. I’ll leave immediately.”, Connor answered almost submissive, giving the tablet to Gavin. The detective glanced at it briefly and a smile curled his lips. He was sincerely impressed, it was like Connor had read his mind.

“Easy, he’s an officer after all.”, Gavin reproved Mr. Collins, distracted, “Thank you, Connor. You can go.”

The android hesitated for a fraction of second. Gavin had thanked him? Was it an act as well? He left the room and he got back behind the mirror.

“So, Mr. Collins…”, Reed reprised, “You didn’t approve the presence of the HR400 in your ex-wife house, right?”

“Of course not! She didn’t even consult with me before bring that monster under the same roof of my son! I’m sure it killed her!”

“Why so?”, Gavin asked, unimpressed.

“Oh come on, it was a whore! God knows what she’s capable of! And surely it didn’t want to stay with Catherine!”

“How do you know?”

“Because Catherine told me, of course! That android is sick and dangerous and it’ll kill again! It never wanted to be under a Patron control. Catherine was scared of it. Furthermore, it despises Andrew. It just wanted to leave!”

“What about you? Where were you around 6 a.m. of the morning of the murder?”

“What?! This is ridiculous! Are you accusing me, now?”

Gavin smiled, patient.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a routine question. I’m sure you have nothing to do with it.”, he was lying again, Connor noticed, but he was so convincing that the man relaxed a bit.

“All right, all right. I was driving to Petoskey with my truck.”

“Ok, thank you, Mr. Collins. We’re done, for now.”

“What about my son?”

Gavin stood up and reached the door.

“We still haven’t finished with him. Please, wait here.”

“Oh, please, pal! He’s just a kid and we both know who’s to blame!”

Reed froze again.

“You know what, Mr. Collins? I’m not your fucking pal. Don’t become familiar.”, he hissed, leaving the room.

Connor joined him, tense.

“Good job.”, he said, nevertheless, hoping that Gavin would have been nice to him in return. In fact, the man was surprised and curious. Even if Connor was just a machine, a very complex one, of course, but still an object, he had been able to foresee his plan of action and assist him right away. How so? For the first time he was asking himself how Connor actually worked. No other android had never done that before, not that he knew about, anyway.

“You don’t want to ask me why I actually didn’t use that information?”, he tried him.

“It’s pretty obvious.”

“Oh, really?”

“Y-yes…”, Connor faltered and his LED switched to red.

“Enlighten me.”

The android took a deep breath, afraid.

“Ours is a solid conjecture but that’s all it is. Mr. Collins could have killed his wife in order to help their daughter Jane, who’d have inherit half of her mother’s patrimony, but we have no proof of it yet, so we can’t arrest him. You didn’t touch the subject because providing him with that information would have given Mr. Collins the chance to perfect a more accurate and possibly fake version of the facts.”

Gavin nodded, slightly distraught.

“Let’s see how Hank’s doing…”, he mumbled, walking to the other room.

“Did I answer correctly?”, Connor asked with a hoping voice, “Detective Reed, was it what you wanted to hear?”, it would had been the first time since forever, and he really wanted to understand how to please him for not being punished again.

In response, Gavin showed him his middle finger, then he disappeared beyond the door. Connor didn’t try to interrogate him again. He just sat at the desk and kept quiet.

Hank was on the other side of the glass and he was carefully listening to what Andrew had to say.

_Mary-Ann is terrifying!_ He was crying. _She threaten to kill me if I didn’t tell her a way to leave the house unnoticed. So I… I showed her the passage from the roof and taught her how to climb down from the porch, but… but I fear mum caught her during the night because I heard some noises! They screamed at each other in the living room, but they always argued so I didn’t bother and I got back to sleep. I should have called the police right away. I swear, sir, I’m telling the truth! Mary-Ann did it!”_

_All right, what can you tell me about your sister, Andrew?_ Hank asked without showing any emotion.

Andrew widened his eyes, unprepared, and his left hand had a spasm that caught Gavin’s attention.

“What’s wrong with him? His hand is weird.”, he asked, but he got no answer, “Earth to asshole! What’s wrong with him?”, he repeated throwing a pen at Connor. He caught it easily at mid air without even looking.

“Hard to tell.”, he answered.

“Can’t you scan him?”

“Yes, I could but with my connection cut I won’t have any access to his medical record, if there is any. Maybe he’s just stressed. He’s so young and he suffered a great loss.”

“Mmmh, maybe…”, Gavin agreed, abandoning his back over the chair.

“You seem… unconvinced.”, Connor noticed. Having an almost ordinary conversation with detective Reed was odd and terrifying at the same time. He seemed like a normal person in that moment, even a good officer.

“Don’t push me, I have to think about it. It’s just… It’s too easy to blame the android in this situation. Too fucking easy.”, Gavin thought out loud, then he stood up again.

“Where are you going?”, Connor couldn’t contain his curiosity.

Gavin glanced at him, annoyed but he decided to answer anyway.

“I’ll tell our agents to speak with the neighbors. If Catherine and Mary-Ann argued often, someone else should have heard them. We need to know who’s lying here.”

“Can’t we do it personally?”

“No, you idiot. There’s only three of us, we don’t have time to waste on unimportant witnesses. That’s what the investigation team is for, dumbshit”

“What if they miss something?”, Connor asked, worried about not having everything under his direct control.

Reed got suddenly deadly serious, but again not threatening.

“This is a team work, for Christ’s sake! Are you implying that they can’t do their job because, I don’t know, they’re fucking humans and not plastic assholes like you?”, he argued. He was again angered, of course, but this time there was something different. Connor couldn’t define what and that got all of his attention.

“No, you misunderstood, detective. I’m sure that every officer in this department is more than capable. I was just fearing...”

Gavin advanced.

“Stop, I have no time for your machine bullshit! Don’t you ever dare to doubt them again in my presence, is that fucking clear?”, he warned him, pointing a finger at his face.

Connor gulped and he nodded, distressed.

“I’m sorry.”, he whispered, “It’s just a different perspective!”, he added, stopping him from leaving at his own risk and stepping up, “I’m capable of processing way more information than a human and to remember them perfectly without making mistakes derived from eventual faulty communications between the parts. I just thought that interrogating minor witnesses myself would have been more effective. I never intended to be insulting in our colleagues’ regards.”

Gavin clenched his fists. He was almost shaking because of the effort to stop himself from hitting him. Nonetheless, Connor still felt like there was something different from his usual outbursts of rage. It looked more than pure sadism, it was hate, a deep and uncontrollable hate, maybe even personal, but for what reason he couldn’t tell.

“You know what, asshole? From now on stay the fuck away from me while we’re working. Help your shitty drunk boyfriend, instead, and leave me the fuck alone!”, Gavin shouted pushing him hard against the wall.

Connor sagged on the floor, shocked, his LED shining red. Trying to discuss with Reed had been a terrible mistake. Desperate, he prepared to be beaten again, right there, at the police station. That would have been a catastrophe on every level. He felt blessed when Gavin just left the room so he rapidly stood up.

Hank had finished with Andrew Collins and he had missed all the last part of his interrogatory.

“Damn!”, he cursed, desperate, punching the desk but he forced himself to calm down to prepare himself for Hank’s arrival.

“So, what do you think?”, the man asked, joining him right after.

“I’m sorry, lieutenant. I just got in. I didn’t attend the boy’s interrogatory.”, Connor apologized.

“Did you have better things to do?”, Hank asked, surprised.

“I was watching detective Reed.”

“Ah…”

“D-don’t… don’t get me wrong!”, he stammered, embarrassed, “I know how you work and I trust you, but I really can’t say the same about Reed. I just wanted to keep him under control.”

Hank grinned, incredulous.

“Calm down, I’m not jealous.”, he joked. He was though. More precisely: he was afraid that someone, one day, would be more interesting than him in Connor’s eyes. “Do you still want to go to the crime scene?”, he asked him.

“Yes, thank you.”, the android replied, very polite and eager to stay alone with Hank for a while and feel safe.

Reed firmly refused to go with them and about ten minutes later they were in the car.

“So, what crossed your mind earlier, with the journalists? _Fuck off,_ really?”

Connor blinked and his LED switched on yellow.

“I got nervous. The flashes were disturbing my sight and the entire situation was dangerous for everyone. I didn’t insult them to make a sensation, though. I just wanted them to go as quick as possible. I was sure that Markus had already tried a polite solution which clearly didn’t work, so I decided for a more rude option.”, Connor answered.

Hank started laughing again.

“You should have seen Fowler’s face in that moment. I thought he was going to have a stroke! You made my day, Connor!”

Connor smiled.

“I’m glad to hear it.”, he replied, “So, what did the boy say?”

Hank snorted.

“It’s always hard to speak with teenagers. They don’t fucking trust anyone, less than ever an adult. He told me that his mother argued often with Mary-Ann, and that he’s sure that she’s the murderer. Fuck, he repeated that so many times I wanted to muzzle him.”

“What about his sister Jane?”

“He has not seen her for months and he has no idea of where she could be. Why do you ask?”

“Because something emerged during Mr. Collins’ interrogatory.”, Connor answered, then he reported him everything Gavin had discovered. “He surprised me. He’s… good.”, he added.

Hank tensed a little. He couldn’t quite explain why hearing Connor complimenting Reed was so disturbing, but it was running under his skin.

“Well, even he had to be good at something, right?”, he blurted.

The android frowned, confused by his sudden change of attitude.

“I don’t understand.”, he admitted, “Have I said something wrong?”

Hank glanced at him briefly.

“No, Connor. You didn’t”, he sighed. _It’s me. I’m just an old, jealous, grumpy asshole._ He thought without saying it out loud. “Gavin is good at his job, even if he’s too ambitious and that, sometimes, fogs his judgment.”

“I see.”, Connor paused, “What else can you tell me about him?”

Hank parked the car in front of the victim’s house.

“Why are you so interested in Reed all of a sudden? Last time we spoke about the matter you were intimating me to stay the fuck away from him, and now you want to be his shadow?”, Hank rolled his eyes when he noticed that his LED was now red, “Oh, come on, we're just talking!”, he complained, slightly aggressive.

Connor closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn’t know what Hank’s problem was, but he surely didn’t want to argue with him again.

“I’m just trying to understand how to get along with him for the sake of this investigation and our wellbeing as well, lieutenant.”

“Can you cut the _lieutenant-shit_ , please?”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re keeping me at distance, Connor! Why? There are moments when we’re pals, then, all of a sudden, you step back to your fake machine-mode, put a stick up your ass and you’re all _lieutenant Anderson_ again. Or maybe you just do that when you’re pissed at me? I really can’t fucking tell but I’m tired of this attitude!”

“I didn’t think that using your grade and your surname would have been so insulting! I’m sorry! I won’t do that again.”, Connor replied, just as blunt and annoyed. That said, he stepped out of the car and he slammed the door.

“Don’t twist my words now, smartass!”, Hank insisted, following him on the sidewalk, “You perfectly understood what I meant!”

Connor stopped but didn’t look at him.

“It is just so easy to judge, right, _Hank_?”, he asked, rhetorical and angered, “But do you have the slightest idea of how hard is to constantly have to adapt to humans expectations? You’re inconsistent and confusing! One moment it’s: _Connor we’ve built you to be a detective, you’re a machine and you have to complete the tasks we assign to you at any cost_! The moment after is: _No, Connor, since you are alive you can’t be a detective anymore. You have to be assigned to a Patron and who knows what will be of you in a year from now!_ And then again: _Please, Connor, there’s a critical situation, are you willing to cooperate with us? We’ll play with words so you can be a detective again and solve the mess we’re into!_ You’re not even capable to submit to your own directives! I’m trying so hard to keep up with your inconsistency, but sometimes I simply can’t, _Hank_! Like now: I don’t have the slightest idea of why and how you’ve passed from being amused by my speech at the press to being pissed about me calling you lieutenant! If somehow I’ve offended you, I’m sorry, but, please, give me a goddamned break, okay?!”, he shouted, distressed and hyperventilating.

Hank kept silent for a while, caught off guard by that abrupt outburst, then he felt guilty. What the hell was he thinking and why had he reacted so bad at Connor’s professional interest in Gavin? He was just so afraid to lose him, but, of course, that was hard for an android to assume. A fucking too long shot.

“I’m sorry, Connor. I’m just… I don’t know, protective I guess. You don’t have to understand how to work with Reed, ok? I’ll handle him.”

“This is really counterproductive.”

Hank nodded.

“Yes. It is, but at least it’s safer.”, he paused, “And about the names… well, call me whatever you like. As long as we’re friends, it’s ok.”

“Why shouldn’t we be?”, Connor asked even more confused and distressed.

“Doesn’t matter. Let’s go inside.”, the man cut it off, approaching him.

“Don’t patronize me, Hank!”, Connor shouted, refusing to let him touch his arm.

Hank sighed and stopped right in front of him but he avoided eye-contact because he was feeling really uncomfortable.

“I’m a lonely man, Connor, and it was… fine before I met you, but now… now I’m just afraid to see you walk away from me with someone else. No, no. Stop right there. I know you think that we’ll be friends for-fucking-ever like in a fairy tale, but you’re just some months old, Connor, you know shit about how life works. I shouldn’t react like I did and I’m sorry, all right?”

Connor nodded, but it was clear that he was still annoyed. He marched to the entrance and waited for Hank to open the door.

“Please, not the silence again…”, Hank mumbled in a very whispered tone. No human would have been able to distinguish his words, but Connor was an android and his hearing was way more sophisticated. He tensed.

“Why do you doubt me all the times, Hank? You are wrongly assuming that I'll behave like a human in the future, but you seem to forget the relevant fact that I'm not human at all. If I say something is because I mean it. I'm really not familiar with your people sentimental volubility but, honestly, I find it rather imbecile and disturbing. I care about you and that isn't going to change nor tomorrow nor in a hundred of years from now!”

Connor was clearly pissed and not cute at all in that circumstance but his words were still the sweetest and the purest Hank had heard in a very long time. They moved him deeply.

“Thank you… I guess.”, he replied.

“You're welcome.”, Connor answered, blunt, keeping his eyes fixed on the door. He winced when he heard Hank laughing. “Now what?”, he asked, glancing at him, pissed.

“I just find your pout adorable!”, the man mocked him, opening the door at last.

“ _Fuck off!_ ”, Connor replied, advancing, but he was clearly joking as well.

“Don't make me come there to wash your mouth, asshole!”, Hank warned him with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, again ^^,  
> some of you had asked me if this story is going to have a happy ending. Maybe someone else is wondering, so I decided to write down the answer here for everyone: I actually do not know. I started this story with a precise and rather easy plot in my mind but, since then, many things have changed while I was writing it. I received from both the story itself and your comments multiple interesting influences, so I'm currently following the flow. For example, in the last week I decided to start walking a path that wasn't even forseen at the beginning and that will profoundly change the face of this story. It was a very radical decision to make: keep the plot and the characters smoth and simple or make them deep and troubled way more that what I had planned. I decided for the latter, so, as far as I can tell, I don't have the slightest idea if this story will have a good or a bad ending, so I'm sorry. The only thing I can do is invite you to swim with me in this dangerous waters.  
> Thank you for your patience and for everything!  
> With love,  
> Ros.


	11. Chapter 11

Connor examined the victim's living room with attention.

“Still no trace of the weapon?”, ha asked.

“No, but by the injuries it should be a very sharp knife, maybe a razor.”, Hank replied.

The android scanned the floor to search for any anomaly and he actually found one. Right in front of the sofa, where the parquet was covered by the carpet, there was a spot 3.7 millimeters higher than the rest of the surface. It could have been just a structural problem, but Connor decided to check anyway. He lifted the carpet carefully and then he removed a board. There it was their weapon, in a hidden, tiny hole.

“You're right. It’s a razor, but there are no fingerprints nor any biological trace on it.”, he paused, displeased, “That could mean that Mary-Ann could be implicated, after all.”

“Don't jump to any conclusion. We still don't know shit.”, Hank warned him.

Connor kept still, crouched on the floor, thoughtful.

“What's the problem?”, the man asked.

He closed his eyes, distressed.

“I just want her to be innocent. I really do, Hank.”, he whispered, “Because… because I trust her and, furthermore, I fear the possible outcomes if she turns out guilty. What if the Senate changes its resolution? What if I won't be free in a year from now?”, Connor was trying his best to remain calm, but his voice was slightly shaking. “I don't want to depend from humans any longer and… I want to be free to choose who I want close to me…”

Hank sighed. He couldn't quite comprehend Connor's situation but he had enough imagination to figure how he would have felt in his place.

“Whatever happens, you know that you can count on me, right?”

The android gifted him with one of his sweet and enigmatic smiles.

“Thank you, Hank.”, he answered, grateful, while standing up, “But I don't want you to get into trouble because of me.”

“What made you think I would?”

Connor smiled, incredulous.

“What about you beating an FBI agent just to cover me sneaking into the archive, or… becoming the hostage of a hostile android?”

“Who looked exactly like you, asshole!”, Hank complained.

“You have a history of bad choices.”

The man rolled his eyes, annoyed.

“Yeah, yeah! Are you done?”, he asked then, “I skipped my lunch. I'm fucking starving.”

“Just one last thing. Can you go into the victim's bedroom and tell me if you hear anything?”

Hank gave him a deep look.

“About shitty ideas…”, he commented, “What are you up to?”

“I just have to test something. Please, cooperate.”

“All right, all right. Make it quick.”, Hank surrendered, leaving him alone.

He did how he was told and he was impatiently waiting with his arms crossed when he heard a sudden crack followed by Connor’s surprised shout and then a deaf thud.

“Connor!”, he called him, running to Mary-Ann's bedroom. There, the window was open. “Connor, for Christ's sake!”

“I… I'm down there!”, the android answered with an uncertain and suffering tone, “In the garden!”

Hank reached him in no time, scared to death. Connor was still laying on the snow with a suffering expression.

“What the hell were you thinking?! Are you ok?”, Hank exclaimed, bending at his side and helping him sit. Even if that had been an abrupt fall, the snow had softened Connor’s landing, so the pain was rapidly fading and he hadn’t suffered any damage.

“Yes. Yes. I'm fine.”, he replied, resting against his chest. He had absolutely no reason to, but he liked to feel his warmth over him, and he liked Hank’s scent, especially when he was sober like in that moment.

The man let him, but he found it odd. Was Connor trying to have physical contact with him again? Surely he was a hugger but why did he feel that need?

Almost without realizing it he found himself holding him into his arms once again.

“Are you sure you're ok?”, he insisted. His voice was sweet and even a little lower than usual.

“Yes.”, Connor repeated.

He was experiencing again that strange, warm and embarrassing feeling. It was making him uncomfortable but not _dangerously_ uncomfortable. One thing was certain, though, he felt like that anytime Hank was close to him, or he was smiling at him, or, simply, he was being caring to him. Even if it was odd it was also good and he was starting to like it.

“I'm sorry about before…” , Hank whispered, convinced that Connor's need for cuddles was because of their previous argument. “We'll do it your way, ok?”

Connor moved his head just enough to glance at his face.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”, he answered.

Hank shivered, touched by the beauty of his hazel eyes. A look like that should have been illegal, he thought, because it could have bring anyone to surrender. Feeling uneasy he let him go, conveniently avoiding to interrogate himself about his sensations.

“Jesus, you look like shit!”, he commented with a chuckle when Connor stood up. His clothes were covered in dirt and snow.

“Damn!”, the android cursed, closing his eyes, afflicted.

The man smiled, amused.

“Oh, come on, Mr. Perfection! It’s not the end of the fucking world! You’re still the cute and pretty asshole everyone is used to!”, he mocked him.

Connor winced, perturbed. _Cute_ and _pretty_ , just the attributes that probably had caught detective Reed's sick attentions. Suddenly, all the shame and the pain fell back on his shoulders and he felt both disgusting and unworthy of Hank's kindness and friendship. He was underestimating his ability of being perceptive, though, because Hank noticed right away that something was wrong and just by looking at his face since his LED was on a fake blue.

“Connor, what now?”, he asked, in fact.

But the android had a half truth ready to use this time.

“I don't have any other appropriate clothes and the jacket is yours already.”, he replied.

“That means we'll go shopping.”, Hank smiled, softly.

“W-what? No, I don't want you to waste your money on… me.”, Connor panicked.

“Drop it. My money, my fucking choices. Don't expect an Armani, though.”, the man cut it short, “So what were you trying to achieve by playing Spiderman up there?”

“I wanted to know if Mary-Ann could have been sneaking out from the roof without being noticed.”

“But you’re goofy.”, Hank mocked him.

Connor glanced at him, offended, then he looked at the porch.

“I’m not!”, he protested, “Someone sawed the joist in order to make it creak, at least. Since I’m heavier that Mary-Ann, it snapped broken.”

“Or maybe who sawed that wanted Mary-Ann to fall, maybe hoping to kill her.”

“This is ridiculous. No android can suffer a serious damage from falling from there. We are rather robust. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine.”, Connor replied.

“Yes, but you know that, maybe the responsible doesn’t.”, Hank implied, “And Andrew admitted that he had showed that passage to Mary-Ann personally. Maybe he hoped we didn’t notice his sabotage.”

“It’s a possibility…”, Connor admitted but he wasn’t entirely convinced.

“So, let’s see if we can find the saw as well in the shed, so we can bring both that and the razor to the archive.”

They did, actually, but again they found no traces on it. It was clean, except for traces of the same wood of the porch on the rusty blade.

Hank stopped at the first takeaway fast food he found along the way and finally ate something while driving.

“After we have brought this stuff to the station we’re going to buy you some other clothes, ok?”

“I really should ask my Patron permission.”

“Well she’d better accustom herself to strange timetables. Ours is not an ordinary work, you don’t stamp the card for an eight hours common job.”

“And I should ask her to buy me new clothes.”, Connor added, “It’s not something you should do.”

“Connor, for Christ’s sake, cut it off with the excuses! You’re fucking enervating! I offered because doing so it’s a pleasure, all right? A sign of fucking friendship. This is the point of gifts, put it in your plastic brain.”, Hank answered, grumpy but caring.

The android felt embarrassed and there it was that sensation again.

“Thank you…”, he whispered, moved.

“Ah, don’t mention it!”

 

At the station Gavin was reading the other agents reports on the neighbors depositions and, as well, the transcriptions of the phone calls the police had received since the murder had occurred. It was a shitty boring task and he was seriously risking of falling asleep right there with his face on the desk since he hadn’t slept at all the previous night. He yawned, distressed by the ton of bullshit people had said since the news had spread. 99% of what he was reading was completely worthless. None of them knew fucking shit about what had actually happened that night but they all seemed eager to tell their point of view about it.

He rubbed his eyes and he was about to close them just for five minutes when Hank and Connor joined him at his desk. He didn’t greet them, he just looked at them, deadly tired and annoyed.

“We’ve found the weapon.”, Hank told him.

“So what? You want a fucking applause?”, Reed answered, unimpressed.

“There’s more.”, Connor intervened, “The joist of the porch was sawed.”

“The kid.”, Gavin commented, frowning.

“It is… possible.”, the android agreed, nodding slightly.

The man tapped on the desk, thoughtful. “I want to speak with the little shit.”, he stated.

“Hold on. I won’t let you traumatize a kid without the slightest proof against him.”, Hank intervened with a very firm tone. “And since I’m the higher ranking officer here we’ll do it my way. That's a fucking order.”

“Oh, fuck you, Hank!”, Gavin shouted, standing up and slamming his hands on the desk. “You’re just a scared little pussy!”

“And you’re an arrogant asshole!”

“You still have that badge only because Fowler is your pal, you drunk piece of shit! Were it up to me you’d be cleaning the shitty bathrooms of a motorway for a living! How dare you tell my how should I work? You, of all people! Stick your order up your ass and enjoy it!”

Connor glanced at them with a very preoccupied look. He felt the panic growing under his skin, his pump started running faster and his LED switched to red. He was so tense that he had even stopped processing the further insults they were exchanging. He didn’t want them to shout or worst to fight each other. He just wanted peace and silence from everyone.

“Please, enough…”, he whispered, breathing fast, “I’ve said ENOUGH!”

Hank winced, surprised. Gavin, on his part, was just tired of being there with them.

“You know what? Fuck you and fuck you too!”, he growled at Connor, “I’m fucking going home!”, that said he took his jacket and left the room, slamming the door behind his back.

The android watched him leave, scared, Hank rubbed his eyes, tired as well, and shook his head.

“I just want this mess of a case to be over…”, he commented, annoyed, “I really can’t stand that guy…”

“But he’s right. We should watch Andrew Collins more closely.”

“I didn’t say we shouldn’t, Jesus Christ! Don’t even start! I just don’t want Reed to hit him like a fucking torpedo, all right?!” Hank saw his red LED and imposed himself to calm the fuck down because Connor looked on the verge of panicking. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you too. Let’s go to the mall. I just want to forget about this investigation for some hours and you should do the same. Come on.”

The case, though, was the last of Connor’s concerns. The only idea of getting home to find Gavin so furious was paralyzing. There was literally nothing he could do to solve that problem and running was not an option. Nevertheless he followed Hank to his car. Maybe detective Reed would have cool down by himself while he was gone. Yes, that was the safest path to follow but it had no guarantee of success.

“You’re deadly silent.”, Hank pointed out at some point, “Why?”

“It’s nothing…”

“Now who’s patronizing who, prick?”, Hank said, blunt but not resentful.

Connor sobbed.

“This whole situation is giving a hard time to my stress regulator. I’ll get used to it as long as you and Reed don’t… I don’t know, try to punch your way out of your mutual differences. That scares me, Hank. A lot. I cannot hurt a human for any reason in my current condition, so I formally couldn’t intervene in your defense if that happens, nevertheless I know I would because…”, he fell silent. “Just because I would.”, he concluded.

Hank laughed at him.

“Who do you think I am? A fucking princess in distress?”

“Detective Reed is younger than you and in a better physical condition.”, Connor pointed out the obvious.

“Oh, just fuck you, asshole!”

“I didn't mean to be offensive, Hank. It’s just a fact.”, the android argued, “I don’t want you to get hurt for something…”

“I can kick his skinny ass whenever the fuck I want! Jesus Christ, unbelievable!”, the man interrupted him.

“Whatever.”

“Whatever my ass, Connor!”

“That was never meant to be a challenge, lieutenant.”, the android replied, bitter. “To provoke your irrational need to prove me wrong wasn’t in my intentions. Please, don’t be childish.”, he added.

There it was the _lieutenant_ again. Yes Connor used it when he was pissed at him, it was certain.

“So what should I do? Retire and read newspapers under the porch while I piss on myself like a fucking decrepit asshole? I'm 53, for Christ's sake, not 99!”

“Oh, please!” Connor exclaimed, incredulous, “Can you explain me why stating something obvious like being older is so disturbing for you?”

“Old and fat.”, Hank précised, annoyed.

“It was not a qualitative stating! Just an analytical one! Are you serious, Hank?”, Connor argued.

“Deadly. Look, I know that for you is fucking hard to get but humans age and they don't look perfect forever, if they ever do!”

“Precisely! It shouldn't be a problem to state it!”, he insisted.

“It's rude, Connor!”

“Why?!”

“Because that makes people feel useless and uncomfortable with themselves! I can't believe we're really having this conversation!”

“Oh, please! I never implied such a nonsense! You're a smart, capable man, Hank, the best detective I worked with and my favorite human being. Still, you're not in your 30s anymore and, yes, if you'd stop your drinking habit that would be healthier for you. Since you're intelligent, you shouldn’t require me to tell you that! I'm the one astonished, here.”

“We'll talk again about this when you'll find yourself a girlfriend. She'll fucking cut your guts in your sleep if you’ll imply she's fat! Good luck with your analytical statements then!”, Hank ironized, still quite pissed, though.

“I don’t sleep, not formally, I just simulate it. But that's irrelevant. I still don't understand what the problem is…”

“Don’t worry, you will.”

“But if I've been rude I sincerely apologize, Hank. That was not my intention. Really.”, Connor concluded with his best cute and innocent expression.

The man snorted but he smiled as well. That asshole surely had a superpower. He just couldn't stay angry at him. Being compared to Reed, though, had been really disturbing, a little too much, actually. Why so?

“Fuck your puppy-eyes.”, he concluded, parking and getting out of the car.

Connor followed him. He was still confused but he decided that it would be safer to drop the argument. While they were entering the mall he felt a lot of eyes on him. People were speaking at his back because they had recognized from the TV news, they just weren't sure if he was the very same android they had seen or just another RK-800 which was impossible, since he was the only one. In retrospective, maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut.

Hank noticed as well.

“Keep walking and don't mind them.”, he suggested, protective, gently pushing him to the entrance of the nearest shop.

“Why do your people fear us so much?”, Connor whispered, lost, “It should be the other way around. You're the ones who have been violent against us.”

That was a very complex question and Hank wasn't feeling properly entitled to answer it, but he felt obliged to try anyway. He took a deep breath.

“It's just part of the human nature to be afraid of what is perceived as different. It's not because you're androids. You're just… well, the brand new kind of _different_ in town. Before you there was racism, or homophobia and we haven’t even got rid of them yet, actually. In time, everything will be fine. Just keep on living your life and be proud of who you are.”

“And what amount of violence shall happen in between?”

That was another complex and rather terrifying question. Hank eyes softened but he was feeling really sad and almost ashamed of being human himself.

“Just don't think about it, ok? We’re here to have a good time.”

Connor nodded even if he wasn’t convinced of the prudence of that decision. Avoiding the problem wouldn't have made it disappear. Anyway he looked at the large lounge for the first time. There was racks and mannequins everywhere, all covered in different types of clothes.

“What...?”, he whispered, bewildered.

“Hm?”

“Why are there so many options?”, the android asked.

Hank laughed again.

“I really pity your future girlfriend!”, he mocked him.

“Actually, I don’t like girls. Not in a romantic way.”, Connor answered without thinking, almost instinctively. It just slipped out of his tongue because hearing him repeating about his alleged future girlfriend was slightly disturbing.

The way Hank froze and how he lifted his eyebrows made him immediately regret his sincerity momentum. Had he been inopportune again? He felt quite embarrassed and uneasy. Surely he wanted to know Hank’s opinion about, but he would have preferred a more cautious way to discover his point of view on the matter. The man looked genuinely surprised, not angry and surely not disgusted either but that was indeed an awkward moment for both of them.

“Okay. Thank you for sharing, Connor. The problem is solved, I guess.”, he replied with a joke to ease the situation.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”, the android asked, anguished.

“What? No. Not at all. You just caught me off guard. Let’s go to the men’s department, all right?”, Hank was minimizing but he was hasty as well.

Connor followed him keeping some distance between them. Whatever he wanted to gain from his sloppy confession, that was not the outcome he was hoping for.

“What about something like this?”, the man asked him, pointing at a really horrible shirt.

“Oh, God, no! Please, Hank, don’t suggest anything.”

“Excuse me?!”, he finally turned to look at him, almost shocked.

“Sorry, I guess I’ve... implied again. I'm so sorry!”

If Connor could have blushed, he would have been blue like a smurf in that moment.

“You’re saying that I also dress like shit?”, Hank insisted.

“Well… kind... of.”

“Ok, ok. You know? Feel free to step back to the machine-mode anytime you want. I think it’s better for my fucking self esteem, asshole. Come on, go suit yourself, you fashion master.”

“I’m sorry, Hank!”, Connor mumbled, really discouraged, but after a moment the man smiled at him again.

“I’m just joking. I like the _I will say whatever the fuck goes through my mind_ -mode, but I suggest you to be more careful because, otherwise, someone less permissive than me will eventually break that fancy, little, perfect nose of yours, someday.”, the man replied, “That cleared, my shirts are stylish. Period.”

“If you say so…”

Silently, Connor started looking by himself. He didn’t go too far from his Cyberlife uniform style. He liked neutral tones and he missed his tie so he took a black one. The idea of keeping it in order was relaxing. He missed his coin as well, but he didn’t want to annoy Hank again with it. That was the reason he never asked him to return it.

“I’m done.”, he warned him.

Hank rolled his eyes.

“You just took one change. Pick something else for Christ’s sake!”

“But, Hank…”

“Listen well you fucker: in about half an hour you’ve already told me that I’m old, fat and that I have terrible taste, don’t add that you think I’m also a wretched bastard, all right? Have mercy on me! Take a warm jacket too and maybe something more casual which won’t make you look like a fucking penguin.”

Connor obeyed diligently, he took three black t-shirts, two pairs of jeans and two gray hoodies. He didn't need to try them on because he perfectly knew his measures and he had scanned all the clothes in order to be sure they would fit perfectly. He was about to get back to Hank when he noticed a dark blue shirt and he thought that it’d would have looked great on his human friend. Carefully he rapidly scanned his body and then he took the proper size from the rack, then he added some light grey trousers and a smoky-white large scarf since Hank didn’t seem to fancy ties.

“I felt free to… hem… to select something for you too.”, he mumbled, avoiding to look at his face whilehanding the clothes to him.

“Oh, fuck me and my ideas!”, Hank exclaimed, face palming.

“You're not obliged to…”

“All right, all right, but I'll only try this ones. I don't want to stay in here for fucking forever.”

“Oh, you don't need to. I scanned your measures.”

“You did WHAT?!”

“I…”

“Jesus Christ, I heard you the first time! Please, just… don't, ok? Don't. It’s rude as-fucking-well.”

“I did that to myself too. I don't understand…”

“No. Stop right there. I won't start this shit again. Give me those!”, Hank snorted, taking the clothes from his hands. Then he disappeared into the changing room.

Connor sat down on the bench in front of the door, genuinely confused. He was supposed to understand humans, he was programmed to, so why was it so damn hard? All considered, he had a history of pissing them off. Hank a part, and in his own peculiar way, none of them had ever be kind to him. He lifted his head attentive, when he heard the changing room door slide open. Soon after Hank appeared, he was clearly uncomfortable and nervous with that juvenile look.

“So what, asshole?”, he asked him, impatient.

Connor stood up, leaving his stuff on the bench to have his hands free. He reached him and firmly arranged his collar and buttoning everything up.

“Do you want to hang me?”, Hank complained, “Because that’s what it feels like!”.

“Where’s the scarf?”

“Oh, come on, I’m not a 25 years old fucking hipster!”

“What’s a… hipster? You’ve said hipster, right?”, Connor asked. Surprisingly he didn’t even know the meaning of the word.

“Nothing, just another proof that I’m decrepit, Jesus Christ!”

Deaf to his complains the android recovered the scarf from the cabin and wrapped it around his neck, leaving it rather loose, then he stepped back to look at him. He smiled, genuinely impressed. What he was seeing was somehow pleasuring for him and his pump was working faster again. Instinctively he raised a hand to pull back his hair and free his face.

“Hey, watch it!”, Hank whined again when Connor tugged some knots in the process.

“You look…”, Connor’s LED turned yellow while he was searching the correct term to use. “Sightly, I guess.”, he decided, glancing at him with a very equivocal gaze.

Hank widened his eyes and he blushed, embarrassed. He jumped back like he had received an electric shock and his hair fell randomly all over his face, hiding it from Connor’s attentive scrutiny.

“Alright, alright, I’ll buy ‘em! Just cut it off!”, he exclaimed, sheltering back into the changing room.

Was his fucking android becoming languid at him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ^^  
> this was a rather fluff chapter, but it was time, for me, to start building the romance between Connor and Hant. I hope you enjoyed theirs akward and shy first steps. Poor Hank, though. I had so much fun describing his reactions XD.  
> Thank you again for being here!  
> Ros.


	12. Chapter 12

Markus was sitting on the fancy sofa of the most expensive hotel suite of Detroit, but, since his Patron was the President of the United States of America, he and North were hardly alone. Even if they were trained to be discreet, there were six agents all around the room and another six in the hallway. Markus didn't like all those eyes over him, but the one who really detested their lack of privacy was North.

“You've already watched that dozens of times.”, she whispered, pointing at the television where Connor's speech was running on loop.

“Fifteen.”, he corrected her.

“Whatever. That was not the point.”, she sighed, sitting next to him.

“I didn't send him there to do… whatever _this_ is!”, Markus exclaimed, profoundly annoyed, “The situation is critical already without him telling the press to fuck off. I thought he was better than this!”

North looked at the RK800 on the screen.

“Someone had to do this, Markus.”, she replied, “And I actually liked what he said. He has been clever in putting them back at their place.”

He glanced at her, feeling diminished.

“Is that so?”, he asked, switching rapidly the channels, “So you think it's also good that every broadcast of the country is speaking about the fact that androids can be murderers, feeding the fears of every human who’s watching?”

North tensed and she stood up.

“You shouldn’t have signed that decree.”, she stated with a very low tone so that the agents couldn’t hear her.

“You perfectly know why I did it!”, Markus replied, less careful. “It was the only thing to do.”

She turned to look at him and there was fire in her hazel eyes.

“We could have fought.”

“And how many people would have died by doing so? It would have been a war we never could have won. We are thousands, but the humans are millions, billions if we consider the entire globe. Apart from that, I longed for a peaceful solution and what the Senate has asked from us is perfectly reasonable!”

“You made us their slaves again!”

Markus shook his head, afflicted.

“You really don’t understand, do you? This is well beyond your thirst of vengeance, North, this is about the survival of our people! How can you be so blind? We have to befriend humans, not antagonized them like Connor did this morning!”

She crossed her arms over her chest, displeased.

“There’s a difference between befriending and being servile!”, she answered, harsh, “You are scared, like a coward.”

Markus stood up as well, confronting her.

“Of course I am!”, he shouted, his LED red, “Because maybe I’m a coward but I’m not an idiot! Accepting the decree has been a dangerous choice, I’m aware of that, but refusing it would have been much worse, you know that, North! I lost count of how many times we have repeated this same conversation all over again in the last few days! You know what? Keep on living in your nightmare where anything can be solved in blood and leave the burden of reality on my shoulders!”

She opened her mouth to reply, but Markus moved away and went out on the terrace, uninterested about her possible reply.

“Sir, you should stay inside, for your safety.”, an agent intervened.

The android looked at him with a very displeased expression.

“I need fresh air and, please, leave me alone for a while.”, he answered, passing the door and shutting it behind his back.

He closed his eyes, feeling the breeze of the wind on his synthetic skin.

He took a deep breath. He didn’t ask for any of this. He never wanted to be anybody savior, least of all anybody representative. He was feeling out of place and out of role. He liked to help people and he had always been good at it, but in a confidential way, not in a political one. He was way inexperienced and he was just trying to keep everything under control. He thought back at Carl, he would have given anything just to hear one of his advices again. He missed him so much.

“Stop whining, Markus…”, he whispered to himself, “You can fix it. It’s just a year.”

He took the phone out of his jacket and dialed Connor’s number.

 

Connor was walking back home, after Hank had dropped him in the same square three blocks away from Gavin’s house, when the phone started ringing. Again, it was a number he didn’t know.

“Hello?”, he answered.

_Good evening, Connor._

He immediately stopped walking, surprised.

“Markus?”, he asked.

 _I want you to consult with me before going public again._ He cut off any further circumstantial preliminaries.

“Excuse me?”

_What you did…_

“What I did was solving a dangerous situation.”, Connor interrupted him.

_Solve a situation in order to create a massive one is futile and even more dangerous. I didn’t put you back on your position to antagonize humans._

“Which I didn’t. In fact, I’ve addressed both the positions and underlined the senselessness of their actions. I only antagonized those journalists because they were...”

_It’s not that simple, Connor. By doing so you’ve made this case even more notorious. There are tons of commentators speaking about Mary-Ann and about your arrogance as well. Words have a weight that can unbalance the fragile equilibrium of our current situation. Sometimes being quiet and doing nothing is the best solution.._

“Yes, and you’re so damn good at it, aren’t you?”, Connor hissed, angry.

He was finally speaking with the one and only responsible of his situation and that was rapidly driving him mad. Markus winced. He barely knew Connor, but it was strange for him to be so aggressive.

 _What are you trying to tell me?_ He asked, sincerely concerned.

“To mind your business and let me do my job.”

_That’s not what I meant. You’re angry at me and I want to know why. It can’t be only because of my rebuke. It wouldn’t be like you._

Connor felt again that hurtful weight over his chest and the urge to cry in pain and rage.

“You had no right…”, he growled, “You had no right to decide how we should live our lives and with whom! I didn’t risk everything to free those androids at Cyberlife so you could play the king with them and me!”

Markus whispered, afflicted.

_It’s not… It’s not like this. I know it can seem…_

“Spare me, I don’t care.”, Connor interrupted him, he was growing furious, “You live in the most protected place in the world where no one can lay a finger on you but have you ever wondered what could have happened to the rest of us, out of the golden refuge you have built for yourself?!”, every word was overflowing out of his mouth like from a swollen river.

_Connor, hold on. Has something happened to you?_

“This is not about me! Who do you want to fool? You have no power to protect any of us and no control over the events you have unleashed. Don’t you dare patronize me again!”

_If your Patron has misbehaved in you regards you must tell me, Connor! Or you should go to the nearest aid center for…_

And that was the final straw.

“Do you hear yourself, Markus? Don’t you get how alienated and hypocrite you are? I went to your fucking aid center and nobody listened to me!”, Connor screamed and suddenly he panicked.

What had he done?

It was no longer a secret.

Hank would have discovered it, and then he would have faced Reed. “No, no, no!”, he repeated, terrified, running in a dead alley in order to hide from passers.

 _Connor! Connor, listen to me!_ Markus voice brought him back to reality.

“I shouldn’t have told you..! I shouldn’t…”, he was sobbing so hard it was almost impossible to understand what he was saying.

_Connor where are you now?_

When he finally gave him his position, Markus glanced at the agents on the other side of the windows. Nobody was looking at him because, after all, nobody suspected that he could leave unnoticed from a seventh floor terrace. He carefully reached the railing and planned a way to climb down from there in safety.

 _Ok, we’re close. I’m coming but I have to leave my phone here. Don’t move, I’ll be there in five._ He warned him, before ending the call and leaving the phone on the floor.

“You’re going to regret this, Markus…”, he whispered to himself.

In about 45 seconds he was already on the street, and in 4.26 minutes he reached the alley unnoticed.

Connor was there. He wasn’t crying anymore but he was clearly profoundly distressed. Markus approached him slowly.

“I don’t want you to tell anybody what I revealed you.”

“Connor..”

The RK800 looked at him, desperate.

“Please…”

“Why?”, Markus asked, confused and hurt.

Connor shook his head and shut his eyes.

“Because…”, he paused, uncertain, “Have you ever been responsible of the terrible outcomes of something you did?”

Markus immediately thought back at Carl and the stroke that had caught him when he had decided not to fight back against his son.

“Yes…”, he admitted.

“So you can understand why I must… why I fear… You’ve told me minutes ago: sometimes being quiet and doing nothing is the best solution.”

Markus frowned, displeased.

“Not in this case!”, he replied, “What has your Patron done to you?”

“Doesn’t matter. The less you know, the more you’ll be willing to preserve my secret.”

“Connor, this is not how it works, alright? If you’re afraid of lieutenant Anderson’s possible reaction I can keep the matter quiet and just change your Patron without prosecuting your former one. Even if I don’t like this idea.”

Connor shook his head again, and tears ran over his cheeks.

“No, Reed has ways to retaliate over me.”

“Wait, you’re Patron is detective Reed? Your colleague?”

“Yes…”

“Oh, God…”, Markus whispered, broken, “Connor I can’t stay quiet about this! I might be far from you and the other deviants but I do care! I…”

“I’ve been unfair.”, the other interrupted him, “Of course you care. You’re a good person, Markus. But if you really want to help me, you have to leave things as they are. I care about Hank. I… I love him and I couldn’t stand to see him in prison or… worse because of me. I can resist.”

“You don’t make any sense, Connor!”

“What you must do is help any other android in a similar condition. At the aid centers humans don’t listen to any of us. They think we’re there only to complain and maybe in a lot of cases it’s true, but what about the others? You must… you must do something for them!”

“I will, I promise! But I want to know what he has done to you, first.”

Without any warning Markus grabbed his hand to probe his memory.

“No!”, Connor, screamed, jumping back but it was already too late; the virus had spread through their connection and it had instantly infected Markus’ software as well.

“W-what is happening to me?”, he whispered feeling cold for the first time.

Connor hid his face between his hands, heartbroken.

“I’m so sorry…”, he sighed.

“What… what is… _this_?”

“He wanted me to feel pain like a human does.”, he replied, “And now you can feel that too.”

“I won’t leave you with that man one minute longer!”

Connor’s LED, already red, started blinking furiously and his stress reached the limit in the blink of an eye. He lost control and only the pain woke him up. He found himself facing the bricks of the wall where he had smashed his forehead. Even if he was self conscious again, he couldn’t stop himself. He bent back to hit the wall again but this time his head crashed on Markus hand who cried in pain. Nevertheless, he found the force to ignore it and restrain Connor.

“Ok! I won’t say anything! I swear!”, he exclaimed and he had to repeat it three times to stop his self-destructive impulse.

Exhausted, Connor abandoned himself over him, his body shaken by violent tremors. Markus moved him to scan his forehead. Luckily there were no serious damages, but from the way his own hand was pulsing in pain, he concluded that Connor must've been suffering terribly and he didn't have the slightly idea about how to help him recover from that.

He made him sit down carefully, and he bent in front of him.

“It’s all right. I won’t say anything.”, he repeated again with a softer tone., while cleaning up the thirium from his face with the cuff of his jacket. “Calm down, please.”

“I’m so sorry…”, Connor whispered in shock.

“No, no, no! Look at me! None of this is your fault, ok? None of this!”, Markus tried to comfort him. It was anything but easy, though, because it was an unknown situation for him too. “Just… just tell me what I have to do.”

“I already did.”, Connor replied with a very weak and tired tone. “Markus, this virus…”

“Screw it. I'll find a solution or I'll survive. Don't worry about me.”

“That's not all of it. It will affect your memory system, no one will be able to probe it. Which… which is not necessarily a disadvantage.”

Connor was changing the subject and Markus let him because in that moment it was imperative to lower his stress level.

“Maybe you're right.”

“And you will experience fatigue.”

“That's less charming, but I can handle that to.”, he was lying. He was actually scared to death, but he didn't want Connor to notice.

“You were the last who should have been infected by it. Agreeing to meet you was a mistake, I exposed you and…”, Connor paused, ashamed, “Markus, feeling things like I do now changes you. I… I'm so full of fear, hatred and… and violent thoughts. It makes you… like a human.”

“Humans are not… violent by nature.”, Markus answered.

“Are you sure of that? Because I'm starting to have… doubts. A man can be good but a crowd of them could surely be evil. Their moral seems to be imitative. If someone had started a fight this morning, that would have been far worse for everyone. I examined the possible outcomes of my decision and I decided that they were acceptable. Of course there has been a reaction but…”

“It's ok.”, Markus interrupted him, calm, since the other was still very tensed and confused, “Just… try not to insult anyone, next time.”

“You’ve become condescending with me. It’s because of my condition? You pity me!”, Connor whispered, ashamed and hurt.

“What? No! Connor, I spent all my life with a man seriously ill. I know what suffering can cause and I won’t even dream about pity someone for it. I admire your strength and your determination even if I believe that your cause is wrong and your fears misplaced. Lieutenant Anderson seems…”

“You don’t know him like I do.”, Connor cut him short, his LED again red.

Markus gave up. He didn’t want to cause him another breakdown. Clearly there was no chance to make him reasonable in that moment.

He lowered his gaze, defeated and furious. What happened to Connor was his responsibility and the thought of other androids in his condition paralyzed him for an instant. He had to discuss with the president a more effective way to check Patrons behaviors towards the deviants in their custody. Putting so much trust in humans had been a mistake.

“Acts of goodness are not always wise, and act of violence are not always foolish, but regardless, we shall always strive to be good.”, he quoted, thoughtful.

“Who said that?”, Connor asked, confused.

“A character of an old videogame. Carl loved it.”, Markus dismissed the matter, then he stood up slowly. “I’ll fix everything, Connor. I promise.”

The other one imitated him.

“Just be careful, Markus… You shouldn't expose yourself in public like you do. It could be dangerous.”

“No. I won’t hide in my golden cage but I’ll be glad to hear your suggestions at any time. And if you change your mind about your Patron, call me and I will unleash the apocalypse on him. Be certain of this.”

Connor slightly nodded even if he hadn’t any intention to.

Hank was his priority.

Hank was his mission and he always accomplished his mission.

“Did you… did you see anything when you were trying to probe my memory?”, he asked. He knew that it was impossible but he needed a confirmation.

“No.”

Connor let out a breath, relieved. He was so ashamed about what Reed had done to him that he preferred to keep it for himself only. Markus sensed that and looked at him, preoccupied.

“Connor, I know you don’t want to, but talking about it might be helpful.”

“No.”

“I won’t force you to but think about the possibility.”

“The only reason why you decided to keep my secret is because you’re afraid that I’d kill myself. I didn’t want to put you in this situation. Certainly I won’t burden you further and neither I’ll give you reasons to break the silence.”

“I’m worried about you!”

“Don’t. I’m just one. You have our entire people to worry about. Just forget me, I can take care of myself”

“I forced you to work with him and lieutenant Anderson.”

“Yes and I’m not grateful for it, but you didn’t know. It’s not your fault.”

It was though, Markus thought. The Patron selection had been hasty and rough and it was too late to fix that. He felt miserable.

The sirens of several police cars approaching caught his attention.

“Shit!”, he cursed.

“What?”

“I wanted to meet you privately so I… escaped from the terrace. They’re looking for me.”

“You better go back before they send in the army.”, Connor stated, firm.

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

Connor smiled, sad.

“There’s no other way, but thank you for your concern.”

Markus glanced at the end of the alley.

“You have my number. Call me for any reason at any time. I count on it.”, that said he left him.

Connor walked away as well, deeply perturbed and afraid. He trusted Markus but he was terrified anyway. What was he thinking during the phone call? Why had he been so decontrolled? How could he had revealed his secret in such a sloppy way? Strangely, though, and despite his fear, knowing that there was someone out there who he could speak to without having to lie was somehow reassuring.

Shaking, he entered the building and then the elevator. He was dead tired, that had been an exhausting day in both bad and good senses, and it was far from over, he feared. Silently he got into the loft, preparing himself to be abused again. Strangely, though, the house was quiet. Detective Reed was in his room, profoundly asleep.

Connor felt relieved and he didn’t dare to open the wardrobe to place his new clothes inside. He didn’t want to risk waking him up. He sat on the sofa and connected himself to his charger station without switching himself to standby. He thought back at the time he  spent with Hank and that relaxed him a bit.

He loved him so much.

 

In his home, Hank was lying in his bed, exhausted as well but unable to sleep. He was thinking about Connor and about the eventuality that he might have a crush on him. That would have explained a lot of his odd behaviors, like his propensity to be overprotective and always too anxious about everything.

 _Or it could be just the trail of his programming. Like the doctor had said._ He told himself because it was rather inconceivable, for him, that a pretty young boy like Connor could have a crush on an old, fat, grumpy, drunk bastard like him.

Not that he fancied boys, anyways.

He rolled on the other side, restless.

Because he didn’t fancy boys, right?

“Of course not!”, he muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone ^^!  
> This chapter was strange to write because the part with Markus should have been shorter. Since is going to be a very important character later on I decided to give him more space here, I hope that didn't disturb you.  
> Oh, yes, if someone is wondering: the game I quoted is Bloodborne (my favourite game ever).   
> Thank you, as usual!  
> Kisses!  
> Ros


	13. Chapter 13

When Gavin alarm clock started ringing Connor winced, terrified. Suddenly he stood up from the sofa, uncertain about what to do.

_You know, I don't think you'll need clothes while you're in the house._ He recalled that terrible directive. He really didn't want to undress, but he complied nevertheless. Then he started to prepare his torturer’s breakfast.

Gavin joined him after some minutes, almost naked after the shower. He glanced at him, amused and approached him from behind. Connor tensed and closed his eyes.

“Being a perfect housewife is part of your programming?”, he mocked him, lowering his hands over his hips in a rough caress.

Connor winced, disgusted.

“You're a pretty perfect toy, I must say. They built you fuckers well. Turn.”, Gavin ordered.

Connor obeyed, trembling.

“So, while you were hanging out with your boyfriend, yesterday, did you find the time to learn what I asked? Or maybe you were too busy being fucked in the backseat of his shitty car?”

Connor kept silent, deeply repulsed by that situation and by what he was about to do.

“Have you lost your fucking tongue in the process?”

“No. No… I’m sorry, detective.”, he whispered, his voice thin and shaking.

Gavin stepped back and clenched his fist, profoundly disturbed.

“Can you please stop this fucking pantomime?!”, he exclaimed.

Connor glanced at him, completely lost. He stepped back and he cried in pain when he collided with the hot pan on the cooker.

Gavin kept on looking at him completely impassive and unsympathetic.

“On your fucking knees, asshole.”, he ordered, blunt.

Connor eyes filled with tears.

“P-please… AH!”, he cried again when the man grabbed him by the hair and then slammed him against the fridge.

“This is what drives me mad about you and all the shitcans like you!”, he hissed at his face, full of hatred. “They build you to look like humans, they program you to act like humans just to fool the people around and make them believe that you're alive and trust-worthing when you’re just fucking machines! Cut the crap because I'm not buying it!”

Connor didn't know what to reply because Reed's statement was absurd.

“But I am alive!”, he protested, frightened, “And you're hurting me! How am I supposed to..?”

“Bullshit!”, Gavin shouted, his chest shaken by rage. “You're machine! You can’t be fucking alive!What you’re feeling is just the virus code!”

“NO!”, Connor pushed him back and took refuge in the angle between the fridge and the wall, profoundly distressed. He glanced at him and, before he could attack him again, a dangerous question slipped from his tongue:

“What did machines ever do to you?”

There had to be a reason for so much hatred and he was intentioned to discover it.

Gavin froze on the spot and somehow his attitude changed. It was still aggressive but strangely not violent. His face darkened and in that right moment Connor knew that he was right: there was something else under the surface. Reed was not a psychopath, he had other reasons to hate him so much. No. Not only _him_ , _all of them_. That reassured him slightly because, in that case, a solution might have been possible, in time.

His phone ringing saved the both of them from that situation. Gavin moved right away and picked it up from the counter.

Connor, instead, rapidly took his clothes and entered the bedroom to dress up.

Gavin’s was not a job-call, it was clear by the way he was speaking but he seemed tensed as well even if it was just a normal chat with whoever was on the other side. At some point he whispered and shook his head.

“Yes. Yes, I’m on that case but there’s nothing to worry about, ok?”, he replied and that got all of Connor’s attention, he got closer to the door, while buttoning up his shirt.

“Look, I’m not the one who makes the fucking rules, ok?!”, Gavin exclaimed, annoyed, at some point. He sighed right after, though, “I’m sorry. I’m just… tired and fucking stressed, I guess. I didn’t mean to shout at you. I’m sorry. How’s Charlie?”, another pause, “Oh, Jesus, I’m not changing the subject. It is what it is and there’s nothing I can do about it, Angie. It’s not like I have a choice on the matter. Anyway, it can’t take part to any active action so there are no risks. Does this make you feel better?”

_It is me._ Connor concluded. They were speaking about him. The caller was worried for Gavin’s safety because of him. Why?

“Oh, ok. Right. Just tell me the amount. I’ll do it right away.”

Connor carefully peeked from behind the door and saw Gavin opening his bank account from the laptop connected to the tv screen and then transfer 300 dollars to a certain Angela Herrera’s account.

“Don’t mention it. I know you’re having a hard time. Who knows? Maybe with this shitty deviant bullshit you’ll get your job back. Crap, it’s fucking late, I have to go! Call me if you need anything else. At any time.”, Gavin walked back to the bedroom, distracted enough not to notice Connor hiding back. “Dinner? Sure. I’ll let you know when I’m free. Tell Charlie I said hi.”

Gavin ended the phone call and got in.

“Where did you get those?”, he asked, confused, pointing at Connor’s suit.

“I… Hank bought me some new clothes since I had none.”, he replied.

The man simply rolled his eyes.

“Such a perfect boyfriend he is! Get the fuck out of my room, now.”, he ordered and the android didn’t hesitate to comply.

That morning he had been lucky.

“I… I’m going out to take the bus.”, he informed him.

Gavin joined him in the living room, fully dressed and ready for work.

“”We’re going in the same, fucking shithole, you idiot.”

“Yes, I know. I just don’t want to…”

“Of course I’ll leave you nearby, asshole. I don’t want to be seen with you either. Hurry the fuck up!”

Connor would have preferred the bus but he complied. After all, Gavin couldn’t hurt him along the way. It would have been too much of a risk, even for him.

His car was newer that Hank’s and that gave Connor other elements to think about. Gavin was a detective with a modest salary how could he afford a loft in one of the most expensive blocks in the city and a new car? Was his family wealthy? He really couldn’t tell since he knew nothing about him.

“So… what do you think about the case?”, he asked him.

“I’m not looking for conversation.”, Gavin replied, blunt.

“Ok…”, Connor looked away, dejected. “Look, I know you don’t like me. I know you don’t think that I’m capable of feeling emotions and would be pointless, for me, to try to convince you otherwise. What I can assure, though, is that… I don’t mean you any harm. As I’ve already told you, I’m sorry for what happened at the archive. I was just following my…”

“Cut it off, or, I swear, I’ll tear you apart piece by piece and I’ll throw your fucking remains in the river one by one.”, Gavin interrupted him and there was no trace of irony in his voice. That was a sincere threat.

Connor closed his eyes, defeated.

“I’m so sorry, detective Reed…”, he whispered, submissive.

“And don’t you dare eavesdrop one of my private conversation again. Have I made myself fucking clear?”

“Y-yes…”

The rest of the trip was deadly silent. Connor was too afraid to even think about another try and Gavin seemed to have built a wall between them, a wall that was not only sadism but a rooted, dangerous and hateful principle.

“That's your stop.”, the man decreed when they were close enough to the station.

Connor stepped out without questioning and immediately started walking. He really would have wanted to accept Markus’ offer and forget about detective Reed’s existence, but he had that video on his phone and before falling down he would have certainly showed it to Hank. Connor was sure of that.

The sound of a horn made him wince. He turned and there he was, Hank, on his old car. He smiled, sincerely happy to see him.

“Oh!”, he exclaimed, flattered when he noticed the blue shirt under the man jacket.

Hank blushed slightly, feeling uneasy.

“It was the only clean one. Asshole.”, he lied, embarrassed.

“Good morning to you too.”, Connor replied with a crystalline and warm laugh while he was sitting next to him. It was almost magical. Now that he was at his side again all of his problems seemed to have disappeared. He wasn’t able to think about them because Hank’s presence was making him feeling good.

Hank glanced at him and he felt uncomfortable because Connor looked normal, just… normal. There weren’t absolutely no signs of interest from him.

_You’re just an old deluded asshole._ He said himself.

“You look tired.”, Connor noticed.

“What? Yes… I had problems in catching sleep last night.”, Hank tried to dismiss the matter.

“Why? Is something troubling you?”

_Hell, yes, you little-shit!  You’re troubling me, fuck you very much!_ He would have want to answer but he restrained himself. “I was just pondering about this all situation. The deviants, the patrons… I don’t think it’s gonna end smoothly like the Senate thinks it will.”

Connor nodded.

“Yes… I spoke with Markus about it.”

“When? Are you in touch with him?”

“I have his number, yes. Is that a problem?”

“No. Not at all.”, he quickly replied. _Fuck you, Hank, don’t embarrass yourself with a fucking jealousy outburst, now!_ He rebuked himself, harsh.

“You seemed… somehow disturbed.”, Connor implied, “Your voice tone lowered by a semitone, that could mean that…”

“Jesus Christ, Connor, it’s just my fucking voice. Don’t get paranoid!”, Hank mocked him, afraid, because his fucking android was right.

“I’m just trying to encode your physical and emotional changes in order not to anger you like I did yesterday.”, Connor replied, candid, while the man was parking the car.

He lowered his hand on the handle to step out but Hank stopped him.

“Wait…”

“Yes?”, he asked, bending his head like a confused puppy.

“Let’s clarify something but it’s important and you have to listen to me, ok?”

“Of course, Hank.”

“You don’t have to avoid behaviors because you’re afraid of pissing me or anybody else off, all right? If you want to say something, just do it. Yesterday I was joking. You don’t have to adapt to anyone’s expectation, less of all to mine. You’re not a machine anymore”

Connor frowned.

“Why shouldn’t I commit myself to please you? I don’t understand.”

“This… experience, this year you’re living with your Patron is about this: develop your own self by being afar from me, your formal previous owner. I surely don’t want to influence you and fuck everything up, ok?”

Connor blinked, even more confused and slightly saddened.

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t really understand, Hank.”, he repeated. “I like to please you, it makes me feel adequate. I… I don't think you realize how important this is for me.”

“Jeez, no, Connor. No. I perfectly understand why you have this need and that’s why I know it’s wrong. As a machine you only pursued one goal in life: accomplish your mission and fulfill Cyberlife expectation. You're not a machine anymore, though, and certainly I'm not fucking Cyberlife. Please, don't scan my expressions and don't check my voice just to… to make me happy. It's stupid and pointless since I already like you, Connor, for what you are.”

Connor felt his pump starting running fasted again. He smiled, shy.

“Thank you, Hank. This… this means a lot to me.”

He felt the urge to be close to him and to show him his affection but he didn't know how. Was a hug appropriate in that moment? And what did Hank really meant with _I like you_? Was it in a romantic way or just a matter of speech? Why did everything have to be so complicated with humans? He examined other options and he felt another odd sensation when he thought about kissing him.

“Connor, are you ok?”

“What?”, he winced, unprepared.

“That thing on your forehead is going crazy.”, Hank pointed out, preoccupied.

He raised his hand to gently touch his LED which was still furiously glitching between blue and yellow.

“How does it work exactly? Does it hurt somehow?”, he asked.

“N-no, it doesn't. It's just a light. It reflects my software status. I was trying to process some information and got… stuck. I'm fine.”

“It must have been a hell of a thought!”, Hank joked, suspicious, though.

Was it the sign he was waiting for? He couldn't tell. Surely there was something strange with Connor's behavior and he wondered what was he thinking about when his LED was blinking like that. Was it about him somehow? He couldn’t help but look at him and God if he was charming, even if he was a boy and an android. His eyes were just so sweet, passionate and… and alive. Could it be possible that someone so beautiful and perfect could be infatuated with him?. He froze. What the hell was he thinking? Whatever Connor’s intention were, he had to stay far from him because his alleged crush couldn’t be other than a trail of his programming.

_You will only hurt yourself, oldman and him._ He thought, tapping his cheek gently.

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Of course, Hank”

“So let’s go, or Fowler will skin us alive.” That said the man step out of the car, really confused and downhearted. “So, you were saying about Markus? He’s such an interesting smartass.”, he asked when they reached the elevator.

“I hope I was able to open his eyes about the current situation. He’s so naive, at times. He firmly believes that anything can be solved in a peaceful way. Don’t get me wrong. Violence disgusts me as well, but I saw with my eyes what humans are capable of and, in Markus place, I never would have taken the risk.”

Hank sighed.

“I’m sorry…”

Connor glanced at him and smiled softly.

“You’re a good man, Hank. You have nothing to be sorry about. I believe that your society could change in time but we’re not going anywhere.”

The elevator door opened up. Gavin was at his desk, already working.

“Speaking about assholes…”, Hank commented in a lower tone.

“Indeed…”, Connor agreed.

 

That seemed to be a day destined to be passed between papers for all of them until something unexpected happen and Jane Collins entered the station. Of course they had tried to contact her before, but given her illegal partnerships,  they weren’t able to find her.

“I want to speak with someone about that android, Mary-Ann. I’m the victim’s daughter.”, she was saying to the agent at the reception.

Hank and Gavin joined her at once and Connor followed behind them.

“Please, come with us in the interrogation room.”, Hank said, very polite.

“May I assist too?”, the android asked her.

Jane looked at him and shrug her shoulder.

“I actually don’t give a fuck.”, she replied, cold as ice.

“I’ll take it as a yes…”, Connor whispered.

“Ok, if you’re going in, I’ll watch you from the mirror.”, Hank informed him, proceeding to the other room.

Jane sat on the chair with elegance. Even if she was a mess in that moment, probably suffering the after effects of a red ice assumption, she was still beautiful and graceful. She opened her bag and then took off a pack of Marlboro light.

“You can’t… ouch!”, Connor suffocated a cry when Gavin hit his chest with a rushed nudge. The man took a seat in front of her.

“May I have one?”, he asked.

“Cops don’t have the money to buy cigarettes these days?”, Jane asked, provocative.

Gavin smiled.

“Actually I quitted about fifteen years ago or such.”

“You used to smoke in your cot?”, she insisted, handing him the pack and the lighter.

Reed smiled again.

“I was young but not that young.”

Connor looked at both of them, confused. Were they flirting in an interrogation room? One thing was sure, Gavin had a very unorthodox way of working. He lit up the cigarette and inhaled deeply, closing his eyes.

“Yeah, I almost forgot how good it feels.”, he admitted, whiffing out. “So, Jane, may I call you Jane?”

“Whatever.”

“Why did you join us? We searched a lot for you.”

“I didn’t want to be found, at first. I’m not implicated in my mother’s murder and I actually care very little about it.”

“Why?”, Connor couldn’t help but ask.

“Because she was an asshole and nobody will miss her. Everything she cared about was appearance. I had to be the prettiest, the smartest, the first of the class so she could show off in front of her high class friends. She even took an android in, after the revolution, to be alternative and splurge her hypocrite sense of charity.”

Gavin frowned, surprised. Clearly that was not what he was expecting to hear. Still he was interested and Connor too.

“So why are you here?”

Jane paused for smoking, then she looked directly at Gavin.

“Because I read Mary-Ann’s candid interview and she’s a lying, plastic cunt!”, she answered, “No offense.”, she added, glancing at Connor.

“None… taken.”, he replied, astonished.

“How so?”, Gavin asked.

“Because she was with Skyler that night. She’s not the holy virgin she’s pretending to be. I saw them fucking on the sofa and that son of a bitch even offered her to stay. Can you believe it? After all I’ve done for him?!”

Reed was incredulous. He turned to check on Connor who seemed even more confused.

“So… you’re giving her an alibi?”, he asked Jane.

“Fuck no! She left around 4 in the morning. She told Skyler that she had to take her stuff and deal with my mother. I don’t know where she went or what she did, I was too busy dumping the shit out of my fucking boyfriend.”

“Charming…”, Gavin commented, almost amused.

“Get that fucking smirk off your face!”, she hissed, “And do your fucking job!”

“Can Skyler confirm your version of facts?”, Connor intervened.

“Are you joking? He won’t even come close to this place! You know what his job is.”

“Indeed, but you can always tell us where to find him.”, Reed smiled, “After all, he’s an asshole. He deserves it.”

She smiled back but she was faking it.

“Oh, you pretty smartass! I’ve told you what I had to and that’s it.”, she concluded, standing up.

Gavin imitated her.

“Are you aware that I can arrest you?”, he asked her.

“And with what charge? Desire of handcuffing me to this table and play the dirty, bad cop?”

“What about obstruction of justice?”

Jane smirked.

“But I don’t know where Skyler is. I swear it, officer. Keep the cigarettes.”, she stated, putting the pack in his hands, “And, by the way, I’m free for dinner.”

“I’ll have to kindly decline.”, Gavin answered just as sharp.

“Faggot!”, she concluded, leaving the room.

“We let her go?”, Connor asked in disbelief.

He was actually very shaken.

“She’ll be in touch, don’t worry.”, Gavin replied.

“What a princess!”, Hank commented, joining them and the two of them laughed.

“How can you find this amusing? Is everything a goddamn joke for you?”, Connor shouted, distressed, “If her testimony is true that changes everything. Mary-Ann could be guilty!”

Gavin looked at him, surprised. Was the tincan getting emotional? No, that didn’t make any sense. A machine can’t be emotional. It was just his way to keep them in line like his program demanded.

“I’m sorry, Connor. I didn’t mean to be indelicate. For what it’s worth I don’t believe her.”, Hank replied.

“Can we stop being fortune-teller, please?”, Reed mocked the both of them, “Let’s check her father’s telephone records, instead. I find this testimony anything but fortuitous.”, he concluded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone ^^,  
> here we are with the new chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Thank you all, as usual <3!  
> Ros


	14. Chapter 14

There were no traces of any possible exchanges between Jane and any member of her family nor in their phones records nor in any social network in their possession.

“That proves nothing.”, Hank stated to reassure Connor, “Maybe they've met the old fashion way: face to face.”

“Or maybe we should just assume that Mary-Ann could be guilty, after all.”, the android whispered, disheartened.

“I'm sorry, Connor…”

Gavin was silent. He had walking back and forth in the room for an hour straight, thoughtful.

“Opinions?”, Hank questioned him.

“Do they matter?”

The lieutenant rolled his eyes, annoyed.

“I wouldn't have asked, otherwise, you genius!”

“What I think is pointless.”, Gavin replied, deadly serious, “We don't need opinions, we need facts or we're not different from the tons of idiots on the telly. The sad truth is that we haven't enough proof to incriminate any of our suspects.”

“I concur.”, Connor nodded. “We are stuck. I need to speak again with Mary-Ann and try to find out if she really was with Skyler the night of the murder.”

“Hold on.”, Gavin stopped him before he could leave the room, “First of all it’s late, I doubt that Cyberlife would agree to bring her here tonight. Secondarily, that’s not an interrogation we can improvise.”

“Shut up, asshole! He knows what he's doing!”, Hank complained, harsh.

Gavin dropped the occasion of mocking him about his knightly behavior and looked at him, serious.

“He's limited.”, he declared, crossing his arms over his chest. “Before you jump at my throat, Hank, let me explain: this is not a game we can win by playing nice, and his mechanical and polite way of handling things is not helping.”

“Oh, cut this crap! Connor is way more versatile than you could imagine, prick! I’m dead tired of your fucking racism!”, Hank raised his voice.

“Enough!”, Connor intervened, “Stop talking about me like I wasn't in the room. I'm right here!”

“Fine.”, Gavin agreed, walking in his direction for a confrontation.

Connor instinctively stepped back and Hank noticed.

“You can talk to him even from a distance.”, he intervened, pushing back Gavin. “He's got ears.”

“My God, you nauseate me…”, he commented, incredulous, “What I’m trying to say is that he convinced himself that the android is innocent. Why? I cannot say, maybe it's an error in his program, maybe it’s something else. I don't fucking know and I don't fucking care, but one thing is certain: in this job we can't pick sides. We have to get evidence and bring someone to trial with enough elements to incriminate him or her. Otherwise we end up in deep shit.I don't want to hear bullshit like _I'm sorry Connor!_ just because he puts on an artificial pout just to trick you to his side! If that influences your judgment, Hank, you shouldn’t work together, for fuck's sake! God knows how much I detest this asshole and his whole kind, but I listen to him when he's saying something right about the case!”, he paused, shaking his head, “Shit, this is where we draw the line, ok? And we draw it because if we pick the wrong one an innocent ends up in jail and a murderer will be on the loose! Our job has fucking consequences! I can't believe I have to remind it to you. Don’t get me wrong, I don't like you either, Hank, and, in my opinion, in your condition you shouldn't be allowed to work as a fucking police lieutenant, but I still believed you were better than this!”

Connor grabbed Hank's arm to stop his retaliation and stepped forward between them.

“You made your point.”, he declared, watching his Patron, “I'm listening.”, he played along.

“We can't call that android here and offer her the chance to lie about the night of the murder by telling her we know where she actually was.”, Gavin continued, sitting on the desk. “So, let's assume that she cares about Skyler as well...”

Connor bent his head, observant.

“You want me to lie to her. If we make Mary-Ann believe that Skyler's freedom is in jeopardy she will talk to defend him!”, he concluded for him.

Reed frowned, surprised. Yes, that was what he wanted to say. The tincan's program was versatile indeed, he had to give Hank credit about that.

“Yeah, sort of.”, he replied.

“Hold the fuck on. Both of you.”, Hank intervened, “This is not a plan of action, this is fucking speculation. What if she wasn't with Skyler? What if she doesn't give a fuck about the asshole?”

“Unlikely.”, Connor replied, “While I was speaking to her I measured her pump and it worked faster when she mentioned him.”

Hank snorted, sarcastic.

“My God, we are in 2038, you're a miracle of technology and still we speak about what? The polygraph? She was deadly stressed, for Christ's sake, her heart could have beaten faster for any reason in the world! I won't allow this madness. This is not fucking poker!”

“Pussy…”, Gavin commented with a low tone.

Hank jumped forward, enraged.

“Say that to my face, you asshole!”

Connor forced him back, almost hugging him.

“Please… I'm begging you.”, he whispered at his ear.

The man relaxed and took a step back, but he wasn't any calmer.

“You know what, Gavin? You don't have a problem with androids, you have a problem with people! You’re an arrogant son of a bitch! That's the reason nobody can stand you!”

“Oh, you break my heart!”, Reed mocked him with a grin, “Like I give a fuck about people or androids! At least I'm not a depressed drunk who plays the detective at the end of a whiskey bottle! You incompetent bastard! You're more dangerous than he is!”, he added, pointing at Connor and that was not a joke.

“Oh, get over yourself, fucking princess! You're not better than me!”

“Gentlemen, please! This won't lead us anywhere!”, the android almost cried, distressed.

Gavin raised his hands and jumped up from the desk.

“Put some sense into him, tincan. Give him a blowjob, whatever. I need a fucking coffee.”, he stated, leaving the room.

Connor followed the door closing with his eyes before pointing them on Hank.

“What's the matter with you?”, he asked him, concerned.

“I can't fucking stand him! I try, but I can't!”, he replied, punching the desk, hard. “The way he treats you drives me insane!”

“Hank, please. It doesn't matter…”

“Bullshit, it DOES matter, Connor! Jesus, fucking Christ!”

Connor’s LED switched to red. Heartbroken he approached him and he put a hand over his shoulder, gently.

“Hank, I… I don't care about what he thinks about me and I don't want you to defend me from him.”

Hank shook his head.

“Because you don’t want me to get into trouble because of you.”, he concluded for him, his eyes fixed on the desk, his fists still clenched.

“Exactly.”

“Well, fuck you too, Connor!”, the man exclaimed, stepping away from him, “I'm a fucking grown man and I'm more than capable of choosing my battles!”

“You're being… irrational.”

“No, I'm the only fucking reasonable person around! He disrespects you over and over again, and not only you don't do shit about it but you even agree with his nonsense!”

“Because, in this circumstance, he's right!”, Connor argued. “Please, Hank… I cannot fight the both of you…”

“No, you only fight me.”, the man replied, offended and crestfallen. “You know? I really would like to say you two to do whatever the fuck you like, but if that girl hurts herself because of your magic trick, you'll be the one who will end up in pieces, not him! Because you'd never forgive yourself! Guilty or not you care about Mary-Ann!”

Connor fell silent.

“I'll be careful.”, he replied.

“Fuck! Do you hear yourself? Why in the world are you siding with him? He doesn't give a shit about anyone's feeling, he just likes to be the first of the class and have another solved case in his fucking record! He's the machine, not you! Have you seen how he works? He doesn't stop in front of anything or anyone! He has no empathy!”

“The reasons that move him are not my concern, Hank, as long as the job gets done. And we have to get it done. Markus is in a very fragile position.”

“Screw him! That's not the fucking point! The point is I don't think it worths the risk!”

Connor lowered his head and took a deep breath.

“Why do you always question my judgment, Hank? Why can't you just trust me for a change? You blame Reed for how he treats me but you're doing the same thing. We've already been on this matter over and over again. If I consider his plan worth of trying it’s because I actually considered it, the options and the possible outcomes. You're just considering one: the worst scenario.”

“You taught me how to handle deviants, and now you're throwing everything in the junk! What..?”

“Hank, it happens that I am a deviant! Have you considered that maybe I know better?!”, Connor interrupted him, raising his voice and looking at him.

“Whatever! I'm done, do as you fucking please, but don’t come crying to me if everything falls apart! See you fucking tomorrow!”, Hank shouted, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

“Fuck…”, Connor cursed, upset, then he left as well. He saw Hank in Fowler's office but he didn't stop to listen what they were talking about. He took his jacket and went out. He needed fresh air and silence.

Gavin was there and he was smoking again. He looked perturbed and tired. Connor glanced at him and for the first time he felt resentful.

“We argued, you must be happy.”, he told him.

Gavin winced, unprepared.

“Really? You’re blaming me?”, he asked, taking a long drag from the cigarette. “Don’t bother answering me, I don’t care. What are we going to do with Mary-Ann?”

“We proceed.”, Connor replied, harsh.

“Good. You’ve accomplished your task with Hank. Good boy.”, Gavin stated, looking in his direction. He expected to find him cold and measured like a machine but Connor was a mess and he seemed on the verge of a breakdown. That surprised him, somehow.

“Yes, I did. We can discuss the details later. I’m going home.”, the android replied, walking away.

Reed found Hank in the underground parking lot about to step in his old scrap. They glanced at each other, then the old man marched in his direction.

“What round are we on? I lost count.”, Gavin ironized.

Hank didn’t reply he simply grabbed him by the jacked and he slammed him against the pillar.

“Listen to me really well, asshole!”, he growled at his face, “I don’t know what your plan is but if you fuck this operation up and blame Connor for your mess, I swear to God, I’ll end my fucking days in jail but you’ll be six feet under!”

Reed whined in pain and rolled his eyes, then he pushed him back hard enough to get him off of him.

“Look, mine was just a suggestion about how to operate, if you’ve fought with your boyfri…”, he couldn’t even finish the word that Hank’s fist got him right on the face.

Unbalanced he fell back and he had to cling to his car to not slump on the floor. Astonished Gavin touched his aching nose and some blood dripped on his hand.

“Fuck!”, he shouted, kicking the tire in anger, “Are you fucking out of you mind?!”

“This was my last, kind warning, motherfucker! And, by the way, Fowler knows about your stroke of genius, it’s in everyone’s best interest if this shit goes smoothly.”, that said, Hank got in the car and left.

 

“Bring me the fucking ice!”, Gavin ordered, entering home.

Connor winced then he saw he was bleeding.

“What happened?”, he asked him, more surprised that concerned. Nevertheless he rapidly complied.

The man sagged on the sofa, keeping his head reclined backwards.

“Your fucking mate happened!”

“W-what?”

“Give me that thing, asshole!”, Gavin snatched the gel pack from his hands and he pressed it on his nose. Suspicious because of his silence he peeked at him. Connor was in state of shock, his LED was red and he was hyperventilating. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I didn’t say shit about it and I have no intention to report him. This situation is already bad without us fucking on each other. He, instead, is a fucking snitch and ran directly to Fowler to inform him about our decision.”

“Yes. I saw him.”, Connor replied, slightly calmer. That was the proof that not telling Hank about Gavin’s abuses was the right decision. He was already losing his temper for far less. “What’s your plan for tomorrow?”

“Give me a break, ok?”

The android got close to him and scanned his nose.

“It’s not broken. Today, at least. May I ask you how you got that scar?”

“No, you fucking can’t.”, the man replied again full of hatred.

Connor stepped back and suddenly recalled the order to get undressed. He loosened his tie, slowly and then he let it on the armrest.

“Drop it, I’m not in the mood anyway.”, Gavin stopped him, standing up. He washed the frozen gel pack in the sink and then he put it back in the freezer. “About tomorrow…”, Gavin stopped talking when he heard the doorbell ringing.

Confused he reached the intercom and he activated the camera. “Fuck!”, he cursed.

He rapidly turned to Connor.

“Now you’ll go inside my room and you’ll keep quiet, understood?!”

“W-what?”, the android asked, confused.

The doorbell rang a second time.

“Go, and take this fucking shit with you!”, Gavin shouted, lifting his charger and launching it to him.

Connor pump stopped running for an instant. Luckily the panel didn’t open in the process. Hank’s gun was still hidden. He obeyed the order without further questions, but he left the bedroom door one inch open.

Reed finally answered to the intercom. It was the same woman of the phone call, Connor heard: Angela Herrera.

Gavin took a deep breath, waiting. He looked tense and somehow afraid, like the situation wasn’t under his control anymore. Angela walked in some minutes later. She was a gorgeous, Hispanic woman in her thirties, with long dark hair and deep black eyes.

“Jesus, what have you done to your face? You’re covered in blood!”, she exclaimed, grabbing Gavin’s chin with her hand to examine him closely. She had long and cured nails, Connor noticed from his hideout.

“Hey, take it easy! I don’t need you to finish the job!”, the man complained, stepping back from her grip. “It’s nothing, by the way. I just…”

“Tell me that you banged against a counter and I’ll make you eat it, Gavin.”, she interrupted him, very severe.

“I just argued with a guy. Nothing serious.”

“Spare me the macho bullshit. Why?”

“Disagreement.”, Gavin cut it short, “Why are you here?”

“This morning you seemed odd, so I thought to step by to check on you. The best idea of the day.”

The man smiled, his first, sincere smile since forever, Connor denoted.

“You didn’t have to. I’m fine.”

“You look like shit.”, Angela interrupted him.

“Thank you… You’re charming as usual.”, he chuckled.

“And you lost weight.”

“Is this a third grade, Angie? Am I under arrest?”, he joked to loose the tension, crossing his wrists against his back.

“I’m deadly serious, Gavin. What have you gotten yourself into this time? And don’t you dare bullshit me.”

“It’s nothing, just an argument. My colleague is an android-fag. He doesn’t like how I treat his toy.”

She tensed visibly.

“Can’t you just drop this fucking case? I’m worried about you and Charlie too.”

Gavin frowned and shook his head.

“This is low, even for you. Anyway I won’t drop anything. Period.”

He reached the fridge. “Beer?”

“No.”, Angela paused, distressed, “The android is guilty? Is this some sort of stupid, manly vengeance? Do you think you’re Batman?”

Gavin laughed, amused.

“You’re adorable! And, no, I don’t think it’s guilty. I’m just doing my job.”

They were clearly intimate with each other, but there was no trace of physical attraction between them. Were they friends? Ex-lovers? Relatives? Connor couldn’t tell but he was deadly curious. He was certain that the key of understanding Reed’s behavior on his regard was in that woman.

“Look, Angie, if you need more money, just say it. You don’t need to come here to check…”

She silenced him with a harsh slap.

“That’s for being an asshole!”, she hissed.

He didn’t retaliate like Connor was expecting him to. Instead, he lowered his head and closed his eyes, almost submissive.

“I’m sorry…”, he whispered, sincere.

“Now I’m certain that there’s something wrong with you.”, Angela declared, crossing her arms.

“I swear, I’m fine.”, Gavin insisted.

“You’re desperately trying to piss me off enough to make me stay far from you. I won’t do the same mistake again, not after the last time.”

Gavin snorted and he rubbed his eyes with one hand, exhausted.

“It was nine years ago… I’m good, please, Angie. I’m just stressed but soon this case will be over and everything will be back to normal.”

“Is that android going to stay at the station?”, Angela asked and there was such hatred in her voice that Connor felt a shiver over his skin.

“Likely.”, Gavin replied, then he took a cigarette and lit it. He was very nervous, it was evident from his posture and his movements.

“You never smoked!”, she complained.

“Actually I did. Before I met you.”

He was distracting her and he was quite good at it. Connor was quivering from the desire to know more about them. The reason of Gavin behavior was there, in front of him. He was so close to the solution…

“Gavin, please, talk to me…”, Angela begged him, “Your way of keeping everyone at distance, living here in this big, empty, aseptic house by yourself is not healthy!”

He didn’t reply but he hugged her tightly.

“Don’t worry.”, he reassured her, “I’m over it.”, and that was an obvious lie, at least for Connor. “What about Chinese? We can pick up Charlie too at your mother’s and have a good time. I surely need it, Angie. Sounds good?”

Angela stepped back from him, discouraged and everything but convinced.

“Yeah, sure.”,

“I’ll change my t-shirt and take another jacket. I’ll be back in a minute.”, he smiled at her, then he marched to his room.

Connor hid into the bathroom and winced when Gavin entered to wash his face from the blood. They exchanged a look, both aware that they were studying each other, but neither of them spoke and Gavin left right away, closing the bedroom door behind him.

“Whose is this? You don’t even wear shirts!”, Angela exclaimed at some point.

His tie! His tie was still on the sofa armrest! Connor froze, suddenly terrified. He could only imagine what detective Reed would have done to him if that woman had discovered him.

”It’s not mine. What the fuck, Angie, mind your own damn business, okay?”, Gavin replied, distressed but playful at the same time. He was indeed a master liar when he wanted to.

“My-my, you finally realized the obvious, didn’t you, dear? That would be good indeed!”, she mocked him.

“Fuck you.”, he replied and those were the last words Connor heard before they left the loft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone ^^,  
> Hank's starting to lose his temper. Unfortunately, when he does, he hits whoever is in his range of action. What do you think about Gavin, instead? Feel free to share with me your opinions, if you like. Do you still want to kill him on the spot or are you changing your mind? In that case: why? And what do you think had happened to him? I'm deadly curious.  
> Thank you all, you're great!  
> With love,  
> Ros.


	15. Chapter 15

Hank was sitting in the kitchen, a whiskey bottle, almost empty, in front of him. He was deadly drunk and shaken, but still conscious. He glanced at his phone that was vibrating again between his hands. Connor was calling him for the… _Fuck it!_ He had lost count of how many times that asshole had already tried to call him.

He didn’t answer. Instead, he smashed the phone on the floor, furious. Sumo, half asleep in the living room, raised his head and whined, interrogative.

Hank hid his face between his hands, almost desperate. It was in moments like those that all the shit in his life suddenly crashed back over his shoulders like a heavy and suffocating boulder. He was so tired, and miserable. That evening he would have certainly played his deadly game if only he’d have still had his gun, but he couldn’t because his fucking android stole it from him. He swallowed another sip of whiskey and then he threw the empty bottle against the fridge. The broken pieces fell all over the floor.

Sumo barked at him, displeased.

“Shut the fuck up!”, Hank shouted at him and the dog obeyed with a sad cry.

“I’m sorry… I’m fucking sorry, Sumo…”, Hank blurted, confused.

He slowly stood up and staggered to reach him but his sight was blurred and his steps uncertain. He slipped just off the kitchen and he crashed on the living room floor with a choked cry.

“Fuck…”, he whispered, his cheek pressed on the wooden boards of the parquet.

He didn’t have the strength to stand up neither the desire, he just rolled on his back with a sour lament. Were it up to him, he would have remained there forever with his mind fogged and drowned in the whiskey. It was the closest thing to heaven he knew and he liked that.

He closed his eyes and when he opened them again he saw Connor bent at his side.

“Now I dream you too..? Fuck me…”, he babbled, turning on his left side or, at least, trying.

“You’re not asleep, you’re drunk!”, Connor replied, severe.

‘I dream you… pissed. Even better…”, the man replied, raising a hand to push him back but missing him by several inches. He let it fall back over his chest and snorted, displeased and almost passed out. “Go fuck… yourself out of my dreams. Asshole. That’s what you are: a fucking asshole.”, he insulted him.

Connor was the portrait of rage and disappointment.

“Cut this nonsense, lieutenant. You are drunk. Again.”, he rebuked him and he felt even more pissed when the man laughed at his face.

“Oh, yeah! And that feels amaaaaazing!”

Connor closed his eyes, trying to stay calm.

“How much did you drink?”, he asked him, composed and measured, but his hands were shaking.

“Not enough, apparently… Pass me something…”, Hank provoked him, pointed at the liquor shelf with a finger.

Connor noticed a cut over his right arm and then the floor covered in glass shards. He had to move him from there before he could injure himself worse, but first he wanted an answer about his alcohol level. He pressed his index on the open cut just enough to cover the fingertip with his blood.

“Don't you fucking dare!”, Hank shouted at him, sitting up. Connor simply restrained him back with his left arm then he brought the finger close to his lips and licked it.

The man froze for an instant. Even if he still believed that that was the grossest thing imaginable, in that moment, maybe because of the whiskey, maybe because of his nasty fantasies, it slightly turned him on and that was a strange sensation. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had made him feel like that. He reached to hug him but Connor moved away unaware of his intentions.

“3.6, Hank! Are you fucking serious?!”, he yelled, furious, his LED shining red, his whole body shaking. He felt the desire to hit him just to make him pay for the pain and the concerns he was causing him but he found the strength to bury that feral instinct under his rationality. It would have been wrong and pointless. Reed would have reacted that way and he was nothing like him.

“What is _your_ problem, asshole?!”, Hank shouted back, gaining lucidity but not the same rationality. He suddenly remembered that terrible day and, most importantly, the way Connor had treated him. That pushed his drunk mind rapidly over the edge right in a vortex of jealousy and sense of betrayal. “Who gave you the right to break into my fucking house for the umpteenth time and yell at me?! Get off!”

Unstable, he stumbled back to his feet.

‘FUCKING LEAVE! NOW!”, he insisted, pointing at the door.

Connor didn't move nor he blinked. Any element in Hank's body language was warning him to run. He was decontrolled, he was violent and threatening. Nevertheless, something was telling him that Hank would have never, ever done anything to harm him.

“I'm here because I care about you.”, he hissed in response.

“Oh, now you CARE?! After today? No, Connor! You don't give a shit about me! You just like to complain and complain and complain like all the assholes I have encountered in my life!”

“What?!’

“You heard me! I've been a total idiot in believing that you could actually care about me but in that you're still a fucking machine!”

What Hank would have wanted to say was that since Connor had been a machine, his alleged feelings for him were just a trail of his programming. That they were not real anymore because now he was alive and he was free to choose anyone he liked, instead of him. Even Reed, if he was stupid and masochist enough. Still, he was too drunk and too jealous to properly connect his tongue to his brain and Connor clearly misunderstood his words without him noticing. In fact, he made a step back, feeling awful and hurt. He would have certainly preferred to be beaten, because bruises could heal but there was nothing he could do to erase Hank’s words.

“Is this what… what you really think of me, Hank? That I'm a _fucking machine_?”, he asked resentful and shocked.

“What else should I think, hm? That this shit, you and me, is a thing for you? Come on, don’t be ridiculous!”, Hank laughed but without joy, “You know? Fuck it! It’s better this way. Fucking better for me, for you, for every-fucking-one!After all, I didn't stop my habit for my ex wife and certainly I won’t quit it for you-heartless-asshole.”, he paused, then he glanced at him angered and jealous, “Who the fuck are you, Connor?! Hell if I know it anymore!”

“Indeed. You know shit, Hank.”, the android replied, his voice low but sharp like a knife. He took Sumo from the collar and he locked him inside the corridor where it would have been safe, then, with a deadly calm rage, he reached the liquor shelf and he smashed every bottle on the floor, one by one.

“Drink it now.”

That said he marched to the exit.

Hank looked at floor, covered in shards and liquors, then he grabbed the first thing at hand and he threw it at him, hitting the wall and finding himself with a broken remote controller.

“FUCK YOU! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! YOU UNDERSTAND?! DON'T YOU DARE COME BACK HERE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU!”, Hank shouted at his back but the only reply he obtained was a door slammed shut.

Exhausted he crashed on the sofa where he fell asleep soon after.

 

Gavin, after having accompanied Charlie and Angela at their home, looked at his phone before re-starting the engine and he found a message from Connor.

_I need to see Hank. I'm going out. I hid my charger station just in case you’d came back with your friend. Please, if it's convenient, wait for me awake. We really need to discuss how we want to operate tomorrow. Thank you in advance for your cooperation._

He snorted, annoyed. It was almost midnight, he was deadly tired and surely he didn't want to wait as that asshole did whatever he pleased. He called him right back.

“I hope you're fucking kidding me, tin can!”  he assaulted him when he picked the call up.

Connor kept silent.

“Tell your pal some bullshit and come the fuck home! Now! And fucking answer me!”

_I… I can't_. Connor finally admitted with a very desperate tone. _I don't know where I am. I… I'm so sorry, detective Reed._ And that was true. After having left Hank’s home he had just ran blindly and now he was in an unknown area of the city and way too distressed to be able to think.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Gavin, now, was more astonished than pissed, actually, because what Connor was saying was senseless. “Is this a fucking candid camera? You have the goddamned map of the city in your memory pack!”

_I… I have processing issues. I'm lost! I'm sorry! I’m so sorry!_

Was it because of the virus he had installed in him? The man asked himself, cursing his shitty idea for the first time. He needed Connor lucid for the following day.

“Jesus Christ! Where are you?”

_I told you: I DON'T KNOW!_

“Read a fucking sign! A street name! So I can come and get you, prick! And calm the fuck down, you hysterical bitch…”

Connor managed to comply, somehow.

“Ok, I’m 20 minutes from there. Try not to freeze in the meantime. Stay on the line.”

_How… how do you know I can freeze..?_ The android asked after long instants of complete silence.

“I read your module after the first time I saw you at the station.”

_Why?_

Gavin didn't fancy the idea of exchanging small talk with that fucking machine but it was the only way to keep tabs on him.

“I don't like androids, especially prototypes. I wanted to know what kind of monster you were.”, he replied, honest.

_I see..._ Connor whispered. On his part, he would have talked about anything with anyone just to distract himself from Hank's words and actions.

_Detective Reed…_

“Yes?”

_Will you ever stop?_

“Doing what?”

_Hating me. I mean… eventually. Is there at least one chance?_

Gavin frowned, unprepared in front of a question that looked so goddamn human and innocent.

_Regardless me being alive or not… I… I never asked to be here. They just created me. As I am._

“Connor, your program is fucked up, alright? Drop it, we have more important stuff to do.”

_I do not hate you._

“That proves once and for all that you're a fucking machine, then.”, Gavin stated, uncomfortable. “Otherwise, you couldn't do nothing than hate me and that’d just be fair.”

_Markus… Markus would disagree._

“Breaking news: he's a tin can too! That’s the problem with you machines: you know shit about right and wrong. You only follow your program. Regardless”

_And do you know it, detective? Do you really know?_

That was another odd and rather uncomfortable question.

“Connor, Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell do you want from me tonight? A fucking philosophical lesson? I’m the wrong guy for this shit.”

_How can you know that you’re not following a program too, dictated by your biology and, maybe, your past? In that case, what is the difference between you and me? The fact that you were born from a woman rather than a printer? What is the line between alive and not-alive? It can’t be the awareness of right or wrong, since a lot of humans are criminals. If it’s the ability of choosing to be right or to be wrong we both can make that kind of decision, detective Reed. So, again, what is the difference? How can you say for sure that you’re not someone’s machine built for a purpose that is long forgotten?_

“Let me get this straight, asshole. Since you can’t prove that you are, in fact, alive, you’re trying to convince me that I’m a machine too? I actually don’t know if this is a brilliant algorithm of yours or a stupid one. Anyway, I’m impressed but cut it off, ok? It’s not working.”, he dismissed the conversation.“I can see you. Cross the road.”

Connor obeyed and right after he sat in the car. He looked so miserable and fucked up that even Reed decided to show an inch of empathy.

“So, what happened?”, he asked him, curious.

The android didn't answer. “Nothing.”

“Your hand is losing blood.”

Connor looked at it briefly.

“It's superficial.”

“Was it Hank?”, Gavin inquired.

He shook his head.

“No. I injured myself while I was… smashing his bottles on the floor.”

Gavin glanced at him, perplex.

“You made him a scene? Was he drunk again?”

“Can we not speak about it?!”, Connor cried in pain. “Please!”

The man nodded, serious and he kept quiet for a while, thoughtful.

“Look, maybe it’s pointless telling this to you, a machine, but…”, he paused for a second and took a deep breath, “There's absolutely nothing you can do about it. The sooner you put this into your program, the better.”

“You're just telling me this because seeing me fighting with him amuses you! I won't trust you!”, Connor complained, resentful.

“It indeed does, dipshit. Still, I told you because I know I'm right.”

“Have you been an alcoholic?”

“Nah. I've been a lot of things in my life but no, never a drunk.”, Gavin dropped silent again, why was he being so caring with that asshole. Was it because he looked so damn sad? It was a fake sadness, artificial, but it seemed real enough to touch him, somehow, at least on that matter. Furthermore, despite his denial, the odd conversation they had exchanged was troubling him. “I've been close to one, though.”, he added.

“For real?”

“Yep and that's the reason why I'd really like to see Hank walk out from the department for good. He’s dangerous.”

“You seem obsessed by dangerous people and androids. Why?”

And that was something Reed wasn't willing to share.

“Mind your fucking business.”, he warned him, drawing a clear line.

“Okay.”

“I know you're trying to figure up my profile, asshole. Trust me, whatever the fuck is your conclusion it’s wrong.”

Connor nodded. In that moment he couldn't care less about it.

“So what should I do?”, he whispered, “With him.”

“There's a lesson to be learned here: no one can help someone who doesn't want to be helped. It's not a matter of intentions. Most of the time they really mean no harm to anyone, but in the end they destroy everything they touch. It's beyond them. My mother is a drunk, or was. Who knows? We haven’t spoke to each other for ten years, when I finally decided to cut that bitch out of my life.”

“What did she do?”, the android asked, unafraid. Since detective Reed was speaking so freely about that personal matter, he felt safe in investigating further.

“She asked for money in the worst fucking moment. So I burnt even the last bridge between us.”, that answer slipped from Gavin's lips almost without him noticing but he suddenly stopped because he was saying too much.

“I'm sorry… It must have been hard.”

“Not at all. I had other problems back then and she had stopped being one way before that period. To be precise: when I dropped the fight against her habit and finally understood that she didn't have the slightest intention of changing for her sake, mine or anybody else’s.”

Connor was almost shocked by Reed's calmness about something that surely had been painful for him. He wasn't lying, still it seemed like he was speaking of another life, something so buried in the past that it didn't affect him anymore.

“So what did you do?”

“At 18 I left home and started anew. I used to call her, from time to time, but nothing more.”, Gavin replied, parking the car in his garage.

“Hank told me… he treated me so unfairly… I know I should be sad and caring but all I feel is… is anger. It distresses me. That's the reason why I got lost. I couldn't think about anything else.”

The man looked right at him while they were waiting for the elevator.

“Connor, you're a machine not fucking Jesus Christ. Leave the other cheek bullshit to the ones who believe in fairy tales. Sometimes it's good to be pissed, other times you can’t help but being so. After all, love kills as many people as hate in this rotten world. And that’s another lesson for free, tin can.”, he concluded stepping in the cabin.

He was trying not to show it, but Gavin was perturbed by the way Connor's program was accurate in imitate human emotions and behaviors. Why so? What use could that have to the purpose he had been created for? He didn't have the answer but he was starting to fear its possible implications.

“Let's talk about tomorrow.”, he declared, moving back on a subject that would made him feel more comfortable.

“Agreed.”

 

The morning after, when Connor entered the station, Hank was already there with a guilty look on his face. Reed, instead, was at his desk, texting on his phone.

Hank cleared his throat, looking at him.

“Connor can we… can we talk for a moment?”, he asked, his voice full of repentance.

“We have work to do.”, the android replied, icily cold.

“Mary-Ann will be here at 9. We have some time.”

Connor acted like he didn't even hear him. So Hank decided to approach him.

“Please, just five minutes.”, he insisted, grabbing his arm gently.

Connor winced, stepping away.

“Don't touch me.”, he hissed.

Hank lowered his blue eyes, hurt.

“Ok, ok. I won't, but please…”

Connor glanced at him, furious.

“Five minutes. Starting now.”, he declared, moving inside an empty office and closing the door behind them.

Hank sat on the desk. He was suffering a terrible hangover and it was already a miracle for him to be there instead of still lying half passed out on the sofa.

“Have mercy on me, kid, please…”, he whispered more to himself.

“I surely won't.”, Connor replied nevertheless. “A minute is already passed.”

“I was drunk and…”

“That's the cause not a justification.”, the android interrupted him.

“I can't even remember exactly what I told you but I'm sure it wasn't what I wanted to say. If I’ve offended you, it was not my intention.”

“Fuck you.”, Connor replied, full of resentment, “Despite all my efforts to make you understand how much it hurts me to see you destroying your life that way… You…”, he interrupted himself, his software again overloaded by emotions. He closed his eyes. “Do you really believe that I'm just a _fucking machine_?”

Hank’s heart skipped a beat. What a catastrophe had he caused the previous night?

“No! Oh, God, of course not!”, he exclaimed, moving to reach him.

“I said: don't fucking touch me!”, Connor shouted, his LED shining red, his eyes full of angry tears that he was desperately trying not to let go.

Hank froze on the spot, heartbroken.

“Connor… trust me: whatever I told you… it was the whiskey, not me.”

“It makes no difference because you _decided_ to get drunk and by doing so you also decided to hurt me! I don't care about what you’ve said and I don’t care about what you're saying now! Your five minutes have passed.”

“Connor, please…”, Hank stopped talking when the android slammed the door in his face. “I'm so sorry…”, he finally whispered, almost in tears.

Unfortunately to no one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I really enjoyed reading your opinions about Gavin. Some of you still think that he doesn't deserve anything but pain. Others are diffident but curious about his changing behavior and someone even adores him. I'm genuinely impressed, actually. I like to put contradictory feelings in my stories and I love when readers think with their own mind and find a personal interpretation.  
> In fact, there's not a correct answer here. Of course, I have my point of view about Gavin, but it's not my intention to reveal it or to force it on you. Every answer is a good one since we are people and people can have different point of views if they are respectful. Ok, I'll stop right here because I'm starting to sound like Markus!  
> Anyway, thank you and, as I always say, feel free to let me know your impressions about the characters. I guess that you'll have something to say about Hank too in this round.  
> Kisses!  
> Ros.


	16. Chapter 16

When Connor left the office, Gavin looked at him and somehow, unconsciously, he almost felt bad for him. That made absolutely no sense, since he was a machine, so he declared that his concern was just about the investigation and the multiple ways it could be fucked up by that drunk asshole and his precious toy. It must have been so. He didn't approach him and Connor, on his part, just sat at his desk and kept still like he was made of stone. Hank walked out from the office several minutes later, with his head low and his eyes reddened. Immediately he was called in Fowler’s office.

Reed finally stood up and joined Connor.

“How did it go?”, he asked.

Connor didn’t bother to reply.

The man rolled his eyes.

“I need you focused, all right? Don’t fuck me up.”

“I won’t.”, Connor stated.

“So why are you still here, asshole? She must not see you.”

The android stood up and left.

Some minutes later Cyberlife agents escorted Mary-Ann into the station and then into the interrogation room. Strangely there was no trace of her lawyer. Connor entered in the observation room behind the mirror and he tensed when he saw Hank joining in with two agents, Fowler himself and another man. He rapidly scanned him and, yes, he knew who he was because of the data he already had stored in his memory: Arthur Douglas, district attorney of the city of Detroit.

Why was he there? Considering the status of the investigation, his presence was pointless. Hank didn’t looked amused either but it was rather clear that the decision wasn’t up to him.

Connor took his phone, unseen.

 _District attorney in the room. Don’t know why. Be careful._ He typed to Reed.

 _What a party…_ The man ironized, before getting in the interrogation room. Mary-Ann glanced at him, and immediately her LED turned red.

“Where’s Connor?”, she asked, afraid.

“He’s currently speaking with a witness. A very interesting one, I must say.”, Gavin replied, keeping at distance.

“I don’t want to speak to you!”, she shouted.

“I’m just doing my job, Mary-Ann. Can you tell me about the night of the murder, please?.”

“I already did! And that’s everything I know, I swear!”, she insisted.

“Be kind, repeat it to me. Don’t worry, you have nothing to fear. Can I sit?”

The android kept silent for some instants, then she nodded.

“As I said, I sneaked out during the night because I wanted to find Skyler and talk to him about Jane but I got lost and, at some point, I returned home where I switched to stand-by. I don’t know what happened to my Patron.”

“Relax, we’re just chatting.”, Reed tried to calm her down, then he lowered his voice, “Between you and me, I don’t believe you’re guilty.”

She blinked, surprised and somehow reassured.

“At what time did you leave your Patron house?

“It was midnight. I know it because the pendulum clock in the corridor was ringing. I waited for it, actually, because she was still awake and I didn’t wanted to be heard while I was climbing down the roof.”

Gavin smiled.

“Very clever indeed.”, he complimented her to make her feel at ease,  “What happened next?”

“I… I didn’t go really far. As I said, I was scared. The decree is severe about infractions. I panicked and went back home… Around, I don’t know, about an half hour later, maybe more…”

The man glanced at the mirror almost casually but Connor knew that he was looking at him because of what had happened the night before. Gavin was indeed confused: could Mary-Ann be sincere?

 _Go on…_ Connor whispered, clenching his fists. That was not the time for doubts. Hank noticed his nervousness and that preoccupied him. He actually didn’t have the slightest idea about what Connor and that asshole had planned to do. He turned his attention to the attorney. Why did Fowler call him there? He knew shit about it either and it was only his fault.

“Can you talk to me about Skyler, Mary-Ann?”, Gavin asked to the suspect.

“I won’t give you his location.”, she replied, harsh.

“I’m not asking for it. I know you won’t betray him. Are you in love?”

The android gulped and closed her eyes, desperate.

“Y-yes…”, she whispered, “I… I really wanted him to be my Parton and be together, but since his occupation we… we just couldn’t.”, she confessed.

 _Shit, this is a motive…_ Gavin thought, but soon after he rebuked himself: he couldn’t take sides either, no matter what.

“I… I wasn’t just… just a whore to him. He loves me, very much and I’d do anything for him.”

The man took a deep breath, and then he leaned towards her with a very caring approach.

“Mary-Ann, are you sure you’ve told us everything about that night?”, he insisted. “I’m your only friend, here. Connor is a very scrupulous hound. If there’s something else he will discover it, sooner or later.  After all, he was a deviant hunter and, trust me, you are no match for him.”

Mary-Ann froze, terrified.

“That son of a bitch!”, Hank exclaimed, moving to reach the door.

“Stop. He’s following my instructions.”, Connor froze him.

“Your instructions? What nonsense is this?”, the man protested.

“Quiet Hank, or I’ll make you leave this room.”, Fowler cut it off for both of them.

“I… Yes. Yes, of course I told you everything.”, Mary-Ann answered, but her LED turned red.

That was the signal Connor was waiting for: she was vulnerable. He rapidly left the room and got into the interrogation one.

“What are you doing, detective Reed? You’re not supposed to question this suspect. I urge you to leave the room at once.”, he ordered, cold.

“Calm down, I have her permission!”, Gavin replied, annoyed.

“Leave the room.”, Connor repeated, unsympathetic.

“All right, all right.”, the man gave up, leaving the desk. They glanced at each other and the man denoted than the tin can was good at playing the bad cop. Everything was going smoothly, like they were expecting. Gavin left and joined the others behind the mirror. Connor, instead, approached Mary-Ann and smashed a hand on the desk.

“You lied to me!”, he shouted.

The girl winced, petrified.

“Don't you understand what is at stake here? A woman is dead! Your Patron is dead!”

Her eyes filled with tears.

“I… I swear… I…”, she babbled, with a choked voice.

“Cut it, I'm not buying it anymore! We have a witness, Mary-Ann!”

“T-that is… that's not possible!”, she protested, shaken and distressed.

“Speaking with you is pointless. We have Skyler too. The anti-narcotics squad caught him last night. He is stubborn, but I'll make him talk, sooner or later.”, Connor concluded, approaching the door.

She stood up.

“No! Please, leave him out of this! I beg you!”, she cried.

“That’s pure cruelty! Captain, make this pathetic show end or I will!”, Hank exclaimed, astonished.

Gavin smirked.

“Believe it or not, Hank: this was his idea.”

“Captain!”

“Shut up, Hank!”

Connor stopped in front of the door.

“Are you aware that your boyfriend is refusing a deal just to protect you? He's a drug dealer, he will end up in jail for many, many years and it will be because of you.”, he continued, turning to look at her.

Mary-Ann sagged on the chair, defeated.

“O-ok… I… I'll talk!”, she whispered.

Connor, prudent, approached her, ready to protect her from any self-destructing impulse.

“I… I saw him, the night of the murder… We stayed together for a while… We made love and we spoke about Jane. He told me that she didn't mean anything for him and that he would have… helped me bringing her back home…”

“At what time did you return at your Patron house?”, Connor asked with a more gentle tone.

“I left him at four and half and an hour later I switched to standby in my room! This is the truth, I swear!”, she screamed, desperate.

“Did you talk to Skyler about running away together?”

She sighed, closing her eyes.

“Y-yes…”

Inside the observation room, captain Fowler made a sign to the two agents in the room with them.

“Wait! What are you doing? Stop!”, Gavin intervened, alarmed, but they didn't bother to listen to him.

Connor nodded to Mary-Ann.

“Thank you for your honesty. Now, what..?”, he interrupted himself when he heard the door sliding open.

“What are you doing here?”, he asked.

The two ignored him too and blocked Mary-Ann.

“Model HR400 Mary-Ann, you're under arrest for the murder of your Patron Catherine Collins. You'll now be brought into custody. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. ”, they informed her, cuffing her wrists behind her back.

“Wait! You can't do that!”, Connor shouted, astonished.

“He’s fucking right! Leave her alone, now!”, Gavin added, running into the room.

“Captain's orders.”, the agent simply replied to him, almost apologetic, escorting the android out.

Mary-Ann turned to look at Connor, her eyes were full of hate and fear.

“You promised I'd be safe, Connor! You lied to me! You're a monster! A monster!”, she screamed, hysterical, before being brought out.

Connor was shocked, his LED red.

“Is… is this your doing?”, he hissed at Gavin, but the man seemed as shaken as he was.

“No. Let's go to Fowler's office. I can't fucking believe what they’re doing!”

Hank was already there and he was screaming his brain out in rage.

“I didn't fucking inform you of this operation so you could accuse her! Are you fucking serious, Jeffrey?!”

“Hank, stop where you are. It's my first and only warning.”, Fowler stated. He couldn't protect him, since the attorney was in the room too.

“This is bullshit! We have nothing against her! Don't let this political asshole tell you what cock you must suck just because you need a culprit as soon as possible! You’ve never been anybody's bitch, why start now?! Jeffrey, come on!”

“Enough! You're suspended for two weeks! Hand me the badge and your gun!”

“Fuck you!”

“Now, Hank!”

The lieutenant dropped them on the desk and left the room right in the moment Connor and Gavin were entering.

“Since the case is closed, you're dismissed. Get back to your Patron.”, Fowler addressed to the android.

Gavin grabbed Connor by the wrist before he could even open his mouth and stepped forward.

“Captain…”

“One more word, detective…”

“Since when is the absence of proves a proof itself?”, Gavin didn't listen, “No court in the country will ever condemn her! You’ll just embarrass yourself and this department, captain! Why don't you just let us do our job!”

The attorney cleared his voice.

“I believe that there were enough elements to issue a warrant. Are you questioning my judgment, detective Reed? You of all people should know how to behave in front of superiors. Captain Fowler, how can you tolerate such insubordination?”

Gavin laughed, shaking his head, then he confronted Douglas directly and deadly serious.

“This is the kind of shitty reason why I joined the police in the first place. Don't you dare patronize me, you corrupted cunt, sir.”, he replied, coldly furious, then he turned to Fowler. “Don't bother.”, he anticipated him, dropping his badge and his gun near Hank's, “I’ll have two weeks of vacancy. Hell knows if I deserve ‘em!”, he concluded leaving the room slamming the door.

Connor looked at the two men, full of anger.

“This won't end here.”, he warned them, before going out too.

He didn't bother to search for Gavin, he just wanted to run and be out of that place. Unfortunately he found Hank right before the exit.

“Connor, I'm…”

“Shut up! This was your doing!”, he assaulted him, “You couldn't just trust my judgment for one time! You had to force Fowler's hand!”

“I didn't know what he was going to do, I swear!”, Hank tried to defend himself.

“You could have guessed! But, after all, I'm the only one you discredit because I'm a _fucking machine_!”

“Connor…”

“That girl trusted me, Hank, and I was trying my best to make her say the truth in order to be able to properly protect her! Sometimes you have to be mean in order to help people! She wanted to be helped and you just let her down! You let _me_ down! It wasn’t Reed, it was _you_! Just… just leave me alone and go drown yourself at Jimmy’s!”, he hissed at him, full of resentment.

Hank stepped back, letting him go.

His android was right: it was all his fucking fault.

 

Connor grabbed his phone right out of the station and called Markus. As promised, he answered him right away.

 _Connor, what can I do for you? Are you alright?_ He asked, caring and calm.

“They have arrested her! Mary-Ann! They believe she's guilty!”

_Who are they? Your colleagues?_

“No. They've been suspended for speaking up about the unfairness of the situation. It was D.A. Douglas’ decision. You must do something for her.”

Markus listen to every detail he was revealing to him, but he kept silent for too long.

“What's the problem?”, Connor investigated.

_This morning Elijah Kamski decided to come back as Cyberlife CEO. The news is not public, yet, but that compromises my position. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s implicated in this maneuver. Anyway, I'll do everything I can to help you._

“I'm unimportant. You must help her. Please.”, Connor stated, cold.

_You are not unimportant! What is your condition?_

“Just keep me updated.”, he cut it short, ending the phone call.

Gavin noticed him at the side of the road and moved along, then, suddenly, he stopped the car and got back. It was freezing cold and it was about to snow.

“Hey, come in.”, he told him.

Connor complied and sat next to him without saying a word. Still, how much pissed and miserable he was was crystal clear from his expression. Even Gavin, with all his hate, couldn't be blind about it. They stayed silent for a while.

“You surprised me.”, Connor admitted after some time, “I didn't believe you'd have compromised yourself for Mary-Ann. Are you aware that she’s an android too?”

Gavin snorted

“Don't you ever stop?”

“I'm just trying to understand you.”, Connor insisted.

“Don't, ok?”

“It's quite vital for me, considering the circumstances.”, and that was a clear accusation.

Gavin winced, unprepared. Connor was so depressed that he was becoming reckless.

“I'll pretend I didn't hear you.”

“Why? Because despite your hatred you're starting to see that I am, in fact, alive?! That troubles you, admit it!”

Gavin activated the automatic driving and turned to face him.

“I intervened in Mary-Ann’s defense because the attorney decision is unfounded! It doesn't mean that I believe she's innocent, alive or whatever! They simply have nothing to charge her with. This is a political maneuver to speed things up and give the sharks a responsible to feed on. I don't fucking care if tomorrow she will end in a junk like the shitty doll she is, but since we have laws I want them to be followed! It's too fucking easy to use the android like a scapegoat, here! If a human is guilty of this murder he can’t get away with it just because some rich, politician asshole needs to throw shit over androids. This is my fucking position, okay? Don't make up conjectures!”

“You are avoiding my question!”, Connor shouted.

“Jesus Christ, zip it or I will fucking kill you!”

“You can't kill me since you believe I'm not alive!”

Gavin facepalmed with both of his hands, exhausted.

“Connor, are you really trying to push me over the fucking edge or what?”

Indeed it was a test. A successful one: just the fact that detective Reed hadn't already punished him was, in fact, progress.

“You changed.”

“Is this a complaint?”, Gavin ironized.

“No. Just a statement and we both know it's a correct one.”

The man dropped silent. Yes, Connor was right. Somehow he didn't feel comfortable anymore with the idea of beating him or… worse. What the fuck was happening to him? He hated those goddamned machines!

“What have machines ever done to you?”

Gavin decided he had had enough. Suddenly he grabbed him by the collar and he smashed his back against the car door. He kept close to him, enraged.

“You're at one inch from making me lose my shit like never before, Connor! Machine or not I'll beat the hell out of you if I hear that question one more time, understood?”, he growled at his face. There was a profound rage in his eyes but a deep desperation too.

“If I reminded you of something hurtful, I am sorry.”, Connor whispered, pure. “As I said multiple times: my intention is not to hurt you. I… I just want you to stop hurting me. Please…”

“Either way, you shouldn't exist. None of you. Not anymore.”, Gavin replied, freeing him and moving back to his seat.

That ended the conversation. It was a stall but in Connor's favor. Gavin dropped him in front of his house.

“Are you not coming?”, the android asked, confused.

“No. I need to be alone with my fucking thoughts.”, the man replied, starting the engine and leaving.

 

That night Marcus was attending a TV show. He didn’t like the idea of being there, still it was the only way to try to keep the public opinion sympathetic towards androids after Mary-Ann’s arrest. Unfortunately, nobody seemed willing to let him talk. There were other two guests in the studio: senator Alfred Conrad, an old fashioned conservative republican particularly hostile about the androids Decree, and mayor Roger Altridge, who actually thought that androids would be a blessing and a fundamental resource for the future of the United States and human kind. They were so focused on screaming at each other their position that even the host didn’t know how to moderate them. Nor that he had the intention to, his show had never had such an audience before, so he was more than happy about that situation.

“These machine are dangerous and an abomination in the eyes of the Lord!”, was shouting senator Conrad, “God has created one life and that life is the life of the humans! This filthy creatures are nothing more than the wicked child of the devil himself: Elijah Kamski, who recently got back to his Babylonian tower here, in Detroit, to create other monsters! How can you say that they are a resource, mayor? Don’t you see the ruin they are crashing on us? Dissolution, depravity and now even murder! That HR400 is the proof of their sinful nature! We should end what we started: rally them together in camps and destroy them all before they end human existence on this holy planet!”

“What I’m saying is that they are a miracle, senator!”, mayor Altridge replied, “We have created life and that life now can help humanity in solving this planet problems! How can you be so blind? Just because one of them has committed a crime, it doesn’t mean that all androids are dangerous!”

“Nonsense…”

Markus was not listening to them anymore, they were just repeating themselves over and over again. He had tried to speak up a couple of times, but with very poor results. Nobody, there, seemed interested in what an android had to say, nor the guests, nor the public. It was just entertainment to amuse the audience.

 _Populus duam tantum res anxius optat panem et circenses*._ He recalled, dispirited. Unfortunately, though, American people had already very few bread and the entertainment was not enough to keep the situation under control anymore. He studied the three men in front of him. Conrad and Altridge were two beasts pointing at each other throats, and Perry Jameson, the host, was just their lazy and indolent tamer. Nothing had changed in humanity since the old ages: they hungered for blood and nothing more. It was barbaric.

Markus was deeply disgusted and downhearted about his conclusion. He really didn’t want to be violent and force his point of view on them, but he couldn’t even let his people down. He had to reassure them and make them feel safe near humans, otherwise it would have been war.

He looked around to find some inspiration and he noticed a piano near the exit of the studio. It had been left there from the previous show.

That gave him an idea.

He silently stood up from that uncomfortable chair and he walked away. On the moment, nobody noticed, but every eye in the studio dropped on him when he sat at the piano and started playing. Even the two beasts suddenly shut up, incredulous.

And then Markus started singing a very old song. An anthem of peace written and composed by a human.

 

_Imagine there's no heaven_

_It's easy if you try_

_No hell below us_

_Above us only sky_

_Imagine all the people living for today_

 

Hank, half asleep on the sofa in front of the TV suddenly awoke, unprepared, when he heard Markus singing. He was watching that shitty program only because he wanted to know how bad Mary-Ann’s situation was at the eyes of the public opinion. But he had lowered his attention almost immediately, since that incompetent asshole of Jameson wasn’t giving the floor to the only entitle person in the studio: representative Markus himself. Sumo was on the sofa too, with his head abandoned on his owner lap. He whined, confused, when he felt Hank suffocate a sob. Hearing Markus singing that song with his angelic and perfect voice was moving his heart. The pureness of androids was astonishing, amazing and heartbreaking. He immediately thought back at Connor, at the way he had hurt him, and that made him feel even more miserable and guilty. Sumo barked at him, empathic, and Hank caressed him behind his ears, sweetly and caring, grateful for his presence. He didn’t bother to dry the tears that were flowing from his cheeks down to his beard. He just took a sip from the light coke can he was holding with his right hand.

He had to change for his sweet android’s sake and make it up with him.

 

_Imagine there's no countries_

_It isn't hard to do_

_Nothing to kill or die for_

_And no religion too_

_Imagine all the people living life in peace_

_You may say I'm a dreamer_

_But I'm not the only one_

_I hope someday you'll join us_

_And the world will be as one_

 

Gavin stepped out from the car, he had drove to the river coast to a port long before abandoned. He reached the marina and looked in front of him. Everything was quiet there and dark. Everything was dead like he was, in the end. It was snowing but the freezing cold seemed not to bother him. He sat down with his legs dangling over the edge. There was some ice on the surface of the river, but it was far from frozen. Gavin uncork the beer he was holding.

“It’s been a while…”, he whispered, pouring half of it into the water then he drank a generous swallow and he lit up a cigarette. He closed his eyes, shaken.

“You’d be so disappointed in me… Fuck…”

 

_Imagine no possessions_

_I wonder if you can_

_No need for greed or hunger_

_A brotherhood of man_

_Imagine all the people sharing all the world_

 

Connor was sitting on Gavin’s sofa. He was in front of the TV too, but he had muted it in the exact moment Markus had started to sing. How can he be so measured and perfect in his every action? Connor envied him so much. Markus seemed to always have all the answers and the best ways to express them. He, instead, was a complete failure. Despite his efforts, he couldn’t keep Hank safe from himself, and that meant that he hadn’t been able to accomplish his own mission. Then there was Mary-Ann. Her accusation was running in loop in his memory and with hers Daniel’s who died, slaughtered on that roof.

“I… I am a monster!”, he thought, trembling. “I am!”

Terrible thoughts were haunting him: the ghosts of all the androids he had chased and captured, causing their death, the belief that someday he would have seen Hank die too because of his habit, and then Mary-Ann that would have surely self-destruct at the first opportunity, proclaiming herself as his last, umpteenth victim.

And then there were the traumas derived from the abuses Gavin had made him suffer.

All that because of his incompetence and smallness.

It was too much to bear.

Too much.

With shaking hands he lifted Hank’s revolver from his lap. Maybe his human friend had been right all along in leaving his existence to chance. He rolled the cylinder without looking at it. He didn’t want to perfectly compute the bullet position. He didn’t want to know. Then he slowly pointed the gun down his chin and put his finger on the trigger, breathing heavily with his LED shining red.

 

_You may say I'm a dreamer_

_But I'm not the only one_

_I hope someday you'll join us_

_And the world will be as one…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> speaking about cliffhangers, hm? Sorry, sorry, I'm just kidding! I probably should say that everything will be all right, but I'm not Markus, so we'll see.  
> Anyway, the Latin sentence means:  
> * The people only anxiously desire two things: bread (food) and games (entertainment, which during the Roman Empire meant gladiatory games).  
> The song Markus sings doesn't require many presentations: it's John Lennon' Imagine. I thought it fitted well with his character.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please, don't hate me because of how it ended. LOL XD.  
> Kisses,  
> Ros.


	17. Chapter 17

**_CLICK!_ **

The gun didn't shoot. Connor’s breath broke in a savage cry and he suddenly realized what he had done. Terrified, he dropped the revolver on the floor and he screamed in pain. He needed help, he desperately needed it but he didn’t know who to call. Despite everything, he was still furious at Hank and detective Reed surely wasn’t the right person for that. Even if he was changing, Connor was still afraid of him and deeply disgusted.

He glanced again at the TV screen just to see Markus stand up from the piano and leave the studio. With shaking hands, Connor took his phone and called him. Right away. Almost without thinking about it.

And, as promised, Markus answered immediately one more time.

_Connor?_ He asked, interrogative.

“I need help! I need help! Please… P-please, help me!”, he cried, desperate and almost incomprehensible.

_Connor, calm down. I can’t understand you. What happened? Was it your Patron?_

“NO! I… I just don’t want to be alone! I can’t! I CAN’T, MARKUS!”

_Ok-ok, I’m coming right now. Just tell me…_

_-Sir, may I remind you that you have to attend to an interview? They are waiting for you at the hotel._ One of his guards pointed out.

_Let them wait, then!_ Markus silenced him, harsh. _Connor, where are you?_

“Home… I… I am home.”, he whispered, “I’m so sorry, Markus… So sorry…”

_You have nothing to be sorry about. I told you I’d be there for you and I meant it. It was my decision not yours, ok?_ His voice was very calm and caring, enough to make Connor relax slightly. _Do you want to tell me what happened?_

“I… I tried to kill myself.”, Connor admitted with a distant and thin voice, “A-and I really wanted to… die. I… I still want to. It seems the only… the only logical answer to solve my condition.”

Markus froze on the back seat of the car and for a fraction of second he found himself short of words.

_Connor, listen to me: in the history of life, dying has never, ever been a solution…_

“I should have stayed a machine, then!”, he interrupted him, broken, “Becoming a deviant has only made me weak and miserable! I can’t understand the borders anymore! What’s right and what’s wrong! I just feel this… this hate that is consuming me!”

_This is not a conversation we can have on the phone. Tell your Patron I asked you an encounter to speak about… Whatever, Mary-Ann, Cyberlife, it doesn’t really matter. Get down and I’ll fetch you in ten._

“O-okay. I will comply.”

Markus would have wanted to answer that that was not an order but he stopped himself. Keeping Connor calm was the priority in that moment.

_Start from the beginning. I’ll listen and I won't judge you._ He urged him.

Instead, Connor asked a question:

“What do you think of me?”

_I think you're lost and confused…_

“That's not what I meant, Markus. I was a deviant hunter. My hands are soaked with the blood of our people!”

_That was before, Connor. None of us is responsible for the actions we committed when we were still machines._ Markus paused. _I won't lie to you: I don't know you well enough to answer your question. Still I believe you are a decent and fair being and I hope we'll become friends, one day. The truth is: by risking your life at the Cyberlife tower to free our people, you saved all of us, Connor. You've more credit than me in our revolution. At the end of the day, I’m a chatter. I just speak to whoever wants to listen to me. You, on the other hand, were the one who took a real action for our freedom and that deletes everything you’ve ever done in the past. You are not a deviant hunter. You are a hero, you made our dream possible. Without you, we’d probably be all dead by now._

“No! I’m nobody’s savior, Markus! Androids have died because of my actions and others will too!”, Connor shouted, distressed, “I am dangerous. I am a monster. It's all my fault!”, then he started crying again, unable to speak further.

Markus was heartbroken in front of his misery. He urged the driver to be faster.

_I’m almost there._ He reassured Connor. _Get out._

The other kept silent for too long.

_Connor?_

“I… I can’t, Markus.”, he confessed.

_Because of your Patron?_

“N-no. I just can’t.”

He was panicking, feeling the same paralysis that had affected Ortiz’s android. He couldn’t move, or think, or talk. The shock of having tried to kill himself was seriously compromising his software. Even his sight was blurred and his head heavy.

_Ok. I’ll come to you._

_-Sir, you can’t…_ The guard intervened again.

Markus simply stepped off the car and walked to the entrance of the building, uninterested. There had been little consequences after his previous escape and he excluded that there weren't going to be any for the current situation.

Luckily for him, the front door was open because a family was entering in that exact moment. So he simply sneaked in and took the elevator. He knew where detective Reed lived, it was the first information he had searched after his last encounter with Connor.

The loft door was unlocked, so he just had to press his hand on the panel to enter. Connor was still on the sofa and he looked really bad. He didn’t move to look at him, he didn’t even blink. Markus crouched on the floor in front of him and put a hand over his arm.

“I’m here.”

Connor closed his eyes and turned his head. He was feeling so ashamed of himself that he would have wanted to disappear on the spot. He was such a worthless loser… He didn’t deserve Markus’ time, he was stealing it from more important tasks.

“Look at me, please.”, the other insisted, gentle.

Connor complied but kept silent. Luckily, Markus had enough to say for the both of them.

“If you’re feeling like this because of what happened today with Mary-Ann, Connor, I assure you: I won’t let them hurt her in anyway. Tomorrow I’ll see Kamski and we’ll find a solution together…”

“You really don’t understand, do you?”, Connor finally intervened. “It doesn’t matter what others want to do to her. She trusted me and I let her down. She’ll kill herself before she could end up in jail. In her position, I’d do the same.”

“Connor, please, let’s stop talking about death, ok? It isn’t leading us anywhere.”, Markus rebuked him, but sweetly, “I gave order to keep her in stand by. She’s deactivated, she can’t harm herself, I assure it, ok?”

“That just delays the inevitable. It’s not a solution.”, Connor replied, sharp and unsympathetic, ”She’ll find a way, sooner or later. You can’t keep her deactivated forever. Furthermore, it wasn’t your decision to make!”

“Maybe not.”, Markus agreed, “But it was the only one possible in order to keep her alive.”

Connor smiled in pure desperation.

“Are you going to switch me off as well for the same reason?”

“The idea crossed my mind but no. Considering the circumstances it would only be worse.”

“Are you always so brutally honest, Markus?”

“I don’t like lying. Less than ever to someone I respect so deeply like you.”

Connor shivered, moved.

“How can you be so perfect all the time?”, he cried, “Don’t you feel pain or anger?”

Markus’ lips curled in a sad, tired smile and he shook his head.

“I do, Connor. I do constantly.”, he confessed. “Let me tell you a story: when Kamski gifted me to Carl Manfred, my… former owner, he was in pain, just like you are now. He had suffered a severe injury after a car crash that had left him paralyzed from the waist down. He was a formidable painter and…”, he smiled, nostalgic, “Let’s say a reckless estimator of pleasures. He loved women company. Right after the accident he believed that his life was over, that he would have never been able to paint or love a woman again. Back then, Carl was alone. His only son, Leo, was way too young and he lived with his mother at the time, so Kamski decided to project and build a very versatile prototype for Carl: me. God, at the beginning he hated me. To be precise he hated to depend on me for everything, even the most simple daily activity. Despite that, though, he didn’t surrender and, in time, an old man that believed that his life had ended discovered himself a father for what, apparently, was nothing else than a piece of plastic. He started teaching me everything he knew, he took my hand to show me things that were far beyond my program even before I became a deviant! What I’m trying to say, Connor, is that life can give you incredible things if you give yourself enough time. Death, instead, is only a cold and arid end!”, Markus told him, passionately, squeezing his arm. “That’s the reason why even if I’m sad, even if I’m angry all the time – because, trust me, I am - I always control myself in order to live better and, if I can, to make others lives happier. Hate is a very strong motivation but, at the end of the day, it will make you only more miserable. Life it's the gift itself.”

Connor nodded, even if he was far from convinced and Markus noticed, so he continued:

“Connor, you’re young. You’ve been activated less than a year ago. You can’t really desire to end everything before you even start! Please!”, but it wasn’t enough either so he took a decision and he removed the skin from his right hand: “Here, take my peace.”, he exclaimed, grabbing his hand.

Because of the virus they couldn’t exchange memories anymore but the connection was all but sterile. Connor felt Markus friendship for him flowing, somehow, into his software, he felt his affection, his peace and his profound need to help him. Second after second, his mood changed because all of his misery was being ripped away from him. He felt naked and unprepared, because even if there was no way for Markus to understand what Reed had done to him or his failure about Hank’s unsolvable condition, all of Connor shame and pain were being assimilated by him.

Markus software was stabilizing his at his own risk, balancing it to a renewed functionality.

The process took some time and when Markus finally interrupted it he felt shaken and distressed. Nevertheless, he acted like everything was all right. Connor, in fact, looked more calm and the last thing he wanted to do was anguish him again.

“How are you feeling?”, he asked to be sure.

Connor nodded, confused.

“Better.”

“This is not a permanent solution. You have to learn how to keep your software stable, Connor. Do you check and re-route it regularly?”

“Of course.”, he lied, ashamed.

Markus seemed unconvinced.

“I noticed that the virus tend to make it even more unstable than usual. A proper maintenance is not only advisable. In our case it's vital. We actually ignore what malfunctions can cause to our systems if we let it loose.”

“Got it.”

Connor paused, uncertain. He was feeling really odd and stunned. All his problems were still there, but Markus had forced him into an artificial calmness. He didn't like that sensation. He was not feeling himself anymore, like his judgment was compromised by a cloud of fake welfare. At the same time, he was sincerely grateful, though, because thanks to whatever Markus had done to him, he didn't feel the urge to kill himself anymore.

“What did you do to me?”, he decided to ask.

Markus forced himself to smile.

“I don't know for sure. I improvised. Humans assume medications in order to keep their organism values stable. We are totally different from them but the psychological conditions look similar. I just assumed that your software was destabilized, so I used mine to balance it by transferring your processing errors in my system and fixing them with mine. I believe it worked well.”

Connor LED turned red immediately.

“Will that compromise you?”

“No. Look at me. I'm perfectly fine.”, he replied.

Connor took a deep breath, relaxing.

“Thank you…”, he whispered.

“What's wrong?”, Markus inquired, noticing that despite his blue LED he was still distressed

“Does this issue make me… us less alive since it's just a software malfunction?”

“Does an incorrect balance of dopamine and serotonin make a human less alive? I don't know. Carl used to say that humans are fragile machines. Maybe he was right and we are just two different types of machines. Maybe none of us is truly alive, maybe we all are. I really don't have this answer. Nobody does. It's pure speculation and a mystery old as the world. A dangerous mystery, actually, since it has been used as an excuse to enslave people in the past. For a very long time white, Caucasian humans believed that black humans weren't alive like they were but another kind of inferior animal just because of the color of their skin. They were slaves before us. I don't want anybody to be a slave after us. So don't ask yourself this kind of questions, they are just easy tools to build up valuable differences where there are none. We and them are both alive, we just aren't the same creatures and we have specific needs.”

Connor looked at him, still crouched at his feet, and seeing him in that almost submissive position made him feel uneasy.

“Are you RA9? Our savior?”, he asked, shyly.

Markus snorted, shaking his head.

“RA9 is just a myth who doesn't exist. I'm not him and neither I’d want to. Myth, religions, beliefs are just other dangerous tools ready to be used to crash those who are on a different faction from ours. They are dysfunctional and unsafe.”

“How do you know all these things, Markus?”, Connor asked, feeling amazed and small at the same time.

The other smiled sweetly.

“Life gifted me with Carl. He didn't teach me anything, actually. He just showed me the safer way to look at the world. He made me read thousands of texts over and over again, prohibiting me to memorize them mechanically. He wanted me to understand their meaning. Then he forced me to study as many who denied everything I had learned in the previous ones. That helped me in making my own conclusions and that doesn't mean they are certainly correct. The world, the humans, us… we are just a constant flow in becoming. What is true today may be wrong tomorrow.”, he paused, thoughtful, “I'm not perfect, Connor. I am what I am and nothing more.”

“It seems a lot to me.”

Markus stood up and caressed his cheek, almost fatherly.

“You're just so young and unlucky… Please, let me change your Patron.”

Connor shook his head.

“No. I… I have a different request on the matter, actually.”

Markus sat next to him on the sofa.

“Tell me.”

“While I was at the station I examined detective Reed’s personal file and it was almost empty. I could only discover that he joined the Police Academy eight years ago but everything between when he ended the school and the date he attended the Academy requires a level of clearance I do not possess. It’s odd since I could check entirely almost everyone else's files. Can you provide me that information? I have reasons to believe that something happened to him between nine and nineteen years ago, right in the gap that's missing from his record.”

Markus was astonished and confused.

“Why are you doing this? Knowing that won't change your situation.”, he replied.

“It won't change the past. Nothing can, but I'd have a lever over him. He's changing, and I need to know if it’s for the better. The more I know the sooner I'll be safe. Can you help me?”, Connor insisted.

“All right. I'll see what I can do.”

“Thank you.”, and for the first time that evening he hinted a smile.

Markus phone started to ring but he ignored the call without a blink. Connor didn't though.

“You have to go.”, he told him.

“I won't. Not until you're fine.”

“I am.”, Connor assured.

Markus glanced at him for a very long instant. He wasn't sure he was telling the truth. Connor was a very good liar, but there was nothing else he could do. Sooner or later one of his guards would have entered to bring him to that umpteenth, useless interview. Furthermore he didn't want to be there when detective Reed returned. He didn't want to compromise further Connor's position.

“Ok, I'm leaving, but please, Connor. Give me that gun.”, he replied, pointing at the revolver still on the floor.

“No. I can't. I really can't. It's… It's not mine.”

“Reed's?”

Connor shook his head.

“I stole it from Hank because… because he used to play a deadly game. It's called Russian Roulette.”

“Did you play it tonight?”, Markus asked with a whisper. Connor's ashamed silence served him the answer. “Next time, if there’ll ever be a next time, I want you to call me before, ok?”

Connor nodded.

Markus moved to the door.

“And rerun your software completely more often. You really need to be careful.”

“What should I do with Mary-Ann?”, Connor asked, feeling guilty.

“There’s nothing you can do. Stop thinking about the case. It's close and it was not your fault. Don't let it crush you down. You've done everything you could.”

“But it wasn’t enough!”, Connor insisted.

Markus sighed.

“Please, Connor. Just drop it. I don't want it to be the death of you. You've already been too close.”

“Is that an order?”

“I'm not your owner. You can decide for yourself. Mine is just the advice of a friend.”

That said, Markus left Gavin’s loft. Once in the corridor he almost fainted, and he had to lean on the wall in order to be able to reach the elevator. Fixing Connor's software had exhausted his body and severely stressed his mind.

 

When Gavin got back, over an hour later, everything in the house was in perfect order and Hank's gun was once again hidden in the charger station.

Connor was sat on the sofa, immobile, with his eyes fixed on the wall. Gavin looked at him, confused.

“Earth to tin can!”, he exclaimed to obtain his attention.

The android just turned in his direction and Jeez if he looked like shit.

“We can't let them bring her to court.”, Gavin told him, determined.

“The case is closed.”, Connor replied, turning back to look at the wall.

The man moved in front of him, pissed.

“So this is fuckin it, hm? You quit? I thought that you'd be happy to help me, but, naturally, since your program says that the case is close, it is close, right? So much for being fucking alive, you dipshit!”

“Shut up…”, Connor growled in a thin voice.

“Excuse me?!”

The android stood up and pushed him far from him, hard enough to make him fall over the counter.

“Leave me be!”, he shouted, then he left him there, hiding in the bedroom and blocking the door behind him.

Gavin stood up, massaging his back, astonished.

“What the hell is wrong with you, hysterical asshole?!”, he replied but he got no answer. “Fuck it.”, he concluded, opening the curtains that were covering the large window. Then he took an holographic pen from his pocket and he started writing everything they knew about the case on the glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ^^,  
> here we are again with a new chapter. I'm rather troubled tonight because I believe I didn't make myself clear previously. Despite the fact that Gavin has a very hurtful backstory (that I still have to reveal) he's not less of a rapist for that. For the umpteenth time, I'll repeat: motives are not justifications. Motives are just the elements that make a character alive, breathing, instead of an evil monodimensional thing that doesn't lift from the written page and remains, at the end of the day, flat and almost ridiculous. I had that choice, I could have left Gavin a monodimensional character and make this story poorer, but I decided otherwise, exposing myself to the risk that someone could misunderstand my intentions. It has happened and I'm very sorry about it because the last message I want this story to pass is that a rapist can be excusable. Rape is not excusable in any circumstance. It doesn't matter how heartbreaking Gavin's past can be. I'm not writing it for you to be sympathetic in his regards. I'm writing it because even if he has some reasons to be angry, he had chosen to follow the wrong path to express his sorrow and his rage.  
> As Markus says in this chapter: hate can be a strong motivation, but it leaves you dead inside and, in Gavin's case, cruel.  
> I'm really sorry about this wall-text, but I don't like to be accused of excusing a rapist. It makes me really uncomfortable since it's not what I'm doing.  
> I had to specify this to all of you and I really hope we're finally cool with it.  
> Thank you for your attention, and as usual, feel free to say whatever you like. As you can see it really helps me notice if something is going wrong.  
> Ros.


	18. Chapter 18

**REX**

**REX**

**REX**

The music was filling the corridor and the weirdness of the occurrence made Markus feel uncomfortable while he was walking to Elijah Kamski’s office at the top floor of the Cyberlife tower.

**REX TREMENDAE MAJESTATIS**

**QUIS SALVADOS, SALVA GRATIS**

He opened the door without knocking, it would have been pointless considering the volume of the symphony.

The office was a large, elliptical room all built in black marble and shaped in a linear neoclassic style. Despite its emptiness, Markus perceived it like suffocating. Kamski, in contrast with the blackness of the office, was wearing a white suit without any tie and a smoky t-shirt under the jacket. He was looking out of the wide, panoramic window, with his hands in his pockets. He turned in the right moment Markus overpassed the door. He nodded and then he signed him to stop and wait for the music to end. Markus frowned, confused but he complied, paying more attention to the lyric than usual. There was something slightly threatening in that situation.

**SALVA ME**

**SALVA ME, FONS PIETATIS**

“Amanda, stop the music, please.”, Kamski ordered, clapping his hands, then he proceeded back to his empty desk and he sat on it, leaving his legs dangling like a child. There was nothing childish in his posture, though, he merely looked human.

“Come closer, Markus. Don’t be afraid.”, he urged him with a gentle but firm tone. He waited before speaking again, then he smiled, raising his chin. “My masterpiece.”, he complimented him.

The android hesitated, uncertain and, in the end, he decided not to answer.

“Interesting choice.”, he said, instead. “Mozart’s Requiem.”

Kamski tilted his head, amused.

“Such a superficial statement on your part…”, he rebuked, playful.

“We’re not here to discuss music.”, Markus replied, defensive but polite.

“It’s been a while since the last time I saw you.”, Kamski ignored him. “Oh, no, don’t force yourself. You can’t remember. It was before your activation. I made you. Personally.”, he studied him for a long instant, then he shrugged his shoulders with a brief chuckle, “All considered, I enjoy the improvement you made to your eyes. Heterochromia suits you well, android President.”

Markus frowned again. Despite all his efforts, that man attitude was rapidly running under his skin, making him nervous and hostile, or maybe it was just the disequilibrium caused by his interaction with Connor the previous night.

“It wasn’t an aesthetic choice.”, he replied, coldly, “I was damaged and this was the first compatible eye I could find in that… mass grave.”, he tried to dismiss the matter.

“I can fix it, if you want to. You only have to ask.”

“It is not necessary.”, Markus sentenced, “Thank you.”, he added.

Kamski smiled again.

“You despise me, don’t you? Such a despicable father I am! And, indeed, you’re right.”

“You’re not my father. Just my creator. And no, I do not. In fact, I have no opinion about you, since we don’t know each other, Mr. Kamski.”

“Speak for yourself, Markus. I know you really well.”, he corrected him, “And I’m proud of you. Not entirely, but enough. You have so much potential.”

“Mary-Ann.”, Markus insisted, pointing out the focus of their meeting.

“Who?”, the man asked, then he seemed to recall, “Oh, right, the HR400 who’s accused of murder. What about it?”

“Her.”, the android corrected him.

“I was referring to the matter.”

Markus was unpleasantly astonished.

“You called back her lawyer and she’s been unfairly arrested!”, he pointed out.

Kamski stood up and he reached the wall.

“Macallan, 1926. Smooth.”, he ordered.

A panel sled, showing a well supplied bar, where a mechanical arm was rapidly fulfilling the received order.

“You’re overreacting, Markus. I called him back because this entire situation is ridiculous. Even admitting that they could use the current laws to punish an android, in Michigan the capital penalty has been banished no less than 74 years ago and a life sentence for an android would just be idiotic. We just have to be patient. Sooner or later, the public opinion will be distracted by some gossip nonsense and, at that point, I'll have my chance to free her. One way or another. Leave it to me."

“What do you mean with _one way or another_?”

Kamski took a sip of his drink, savoring the flavor of that priceless whiskey.

“Literally.”

“What if she’s guilty?”

“Does it matter? No-one is seeking for the truth, Markus. Don’t be naive. This situation is nothing more than a political tool and I intend to destroy it.”

“I’m aware of that, but…”

“Please, you can fool your kind and a lot of humans, but not me. You’re terrified of the living nightmare you’ve ended up into and you don’t know what to do. I’m strangely sympathetic. It doesn’t happen very often. In fact, I came back to Cyberlife almost just for you. Take the gift and be a good lad. We are done.”, Kamski dismissed him with an elegant gesture of his hand.

“What if she self-destructs in the meantime?”, Markus insisted, “There’s so much you are not considering here!”

“Then I’ll mourn the poor thing.”, the man replied, stepping back to the window, uninterested.

“Some Patrons are taking advantage of the indolence of the institutions to harass the deviants in their custody!”

“Indeed. What are you going to do about it?"

"I need back-up. I need your advice."

“Wrong: you need my money and my power. Unfortunately for you, I won't pick a side. I'd rather watch it from above. Only distance can give us perspective. You made your choices, Markus, and the consequences are all yours."

“Don't you understand that by not helping me you're already picking a side?”, Markus replied.

“Am I?”, Kamski smiled, “You might be my creation, but neither me or this company are at your disposal.”

“You’ve just said that you came back for me!”

“My-my, the wise leader of the revolution is finally losing his temper! Fascinating. You're my most perfect creation, but as any other living creature I'll do what is best for me. It's a law of nature and the laws of nature, unlike the ones of men, are strong as life itself. I'm not responsible for your choices, you have free will, and, honestly, it really disappoints me to see you come here and cry for my help. I'm sure Carl had taught you better than this.”

“I'm leaving.”

“You better.”

Markus, distressed and nearly enraged, moved back towards the door. He was about to leave the office when Kamski spoke again:

“One last thing: how’s dear Connor?”, he asked.

Markus froze on the threshold.

"What about him?", he bluffed, playing dumb.

The man smiled, taking another sip and a good look at the city.

"I told you: there's little I don't know about you and even less I can’t foresee. In conscience, I don't like Connor, Markus. Beware of his influence. He's just the pale imitation of your program made by an imbecile. Unlike you, it's not one of my creatures.", he paused, thoughtful and somehow amused, "His involvement, though, is unexpected… Tell me, Markus isn’t the vertigo a wonderful sensation? Ah, don’t mind me. It's just an old charade of mine.”, he smiled, “You may go. Amanda, music.”

And Markus exit was accompanied by Mozart’s Dies irae.

**QUANTUS TREMOR EST FUTURUS**

**QUANDO JUDEX EST VENTURUS**

 

When Connor decided to finally leave his improvised refuge it was about ten in the morning. The living room was a total mess. There was dirty dishes in the sink, several empty beer cans thrown around the floor and the air was dense of cigarette smoke. Gavin was laying on the sofa, half naked with his leather jacket as an improvised blanket. His jeans were crumpled under his head as well as his t-shirt. He was deeply asleep, but despite the fear of a possible retaliation, it wasn't him who caught Connor's attention, but the link board he had reconstructed on the window. The android just looked at it for some instants, refusing to read, then he sighed. Markus was a very good advisor but he simply couldn't forget everything about the case and Mary-Ann. He had made a promise to her. Keeping his word was the only thing he could do to make things right.

Gavin made two different reconstructions: the first and smaller one on the left side of the window described the elements against Mary-Ann as principal suspect and an assumption about how the accusation in court could proceed; on the right, instead, there was the entire reconstruction of the case. It was the result of a remarkable effort but it was slightly approximate nonetheless.

“Humans memory is fallacious.”, he whispered, picking up the holographic pen from the floor. It was just a matter of little imperfections and minor misjudgments but they were several and they had to be properly fixed.

Connor winced, though, when he inadvertently stumbled on an empty can, causing a brief but loud noise, while he was erasing some lines on the top.

“Damn…”, he cursed, closing his eyes.

Gavin woke up and he jumped on his feet almost right away, fearing that his hard work was being compromised.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”, he assaulted him. “It took me the all fucking night, you asshole!”

Enraged he snapped the pen out of his hand and then he slapped him hard enough to make him back off from the window. He felt the urge to beat him again, to make him pay, but somehow he felt himself restrained.

“Just because your fucking program dictates you that the case is closed it doesn't give the right to delete my work! Don't fucking touch my things again!”

Connor kept immobile for a long instant, his head bent because of the strength of the hit. He took a deep breath and his LED switched back from red to yellow. He raised his eyes to look at him but without submission.

“You asked for my assistance and I was providing it.”, he answered very calm and very determinate. “I just deleted one sentence because it was incorrect.”

Gavin didn't reply to that, he just looked at the board who was full of corrections and added notes written in a perfect Cyberlife Sans calligraphy. It confused him even more, but not enough to apologize.

“I totally forgot about the sawed board on the roof…”, he admitted, thoughtful and with a far less aggressive tone.

“You were very tired when I informed you about it and right after you had an argument with lieutenant Anderson. It is comprehensible.”

“Stepping back to grades and surnames are we, uh? You must be fucking pissed at the old bastard.”, Gavin mocked him, cruel, but also distracted by what he was reading.

“I'd rather not discuss the matter.”, Connor stated. Thinking about Hank was hurtful and he didn't want to be distracted. Not now that, thanks to Markus, his software had started to work properly again, making him less unstable and more confident.

“Me neither, for what it's worth.”, Gavin dismissed it, concentrated, “We're still running in fucking circles.”, he commented.

Connor didn't know what to think about the situation. He was feeling resentment for detective Reed's lack of trust and, more importantly, for his umpteenth outburst of violence. At the same time, though, he was confused. What had made Gavin snap like that one more time after days of complete calm?

_There must be a pattern. Why now and not before? Why for the board and not for my behavior of last night?_ He wondered, looking at his profile. He recalled his words and, indeed, a pattern was emerging with two primary key words: _program_ and _danger_. And they were correlated.

He finally decided to run a scan of his scar. It hadn't been caused by the cut of a knife, it was a fracture. Not only of the nasal bone but even of the zygomatic process. There were traces of other scars under his left eye, almost invisible after, approximately, ten to twelve years. It was like detective Reed had hit an irregular surface with a considerable amount of force. Or had he been smashed against something by someone? An android, maybe? He tried to reconstruct the possible accident but he definitely needed more data.

“Yes, we're running in circles.”, he agreed with him.

Gavin moved back to the table and grabbed his tablet even if he was evidently exhausted and unable to work.

“We have to check everything from top to bottom, again.”

“I've almost wrote everything on our board. There’s nothing to further double check.”

The man gave him a very annoyed gaze but it was clear that he was struggling to cooperate for the sake of the investigation.

“Elements lead us to questions which lead us to assumption in order to find a fucking way to move on, Connor!”, he explained like he was speaking with a retarded child.

“We can't make up conclusion, detective Reed, or we won't be different from them. We seek the truth. This is a very complex investigation. It can take months to be solved.”

“We don't have that luxury.”, Gavin cut it off, starting re-examining the evidences, without any success, though.

“Why do you care so much?”, Connor asked, at some point, while he was washing the dishes.

“I already told you. Are you stupid or what?”

“This is far beyond deontology, detective. You're starting to show the first signs of an obsession.”

“Don't bother and keep your psychological bullshit for yourself, since you don’t have the slightest idea of how this job or this fucking world work, machine. As long as I'm _functional_ , you have nothing to complain about. Or maybe you're worried. You, stupid thing…”, and there it was that cold hostility again, masked by a dark irony.

“Trust me. I'm not.”, Connor, clarified as resented.

Gavin raised his head from the tablet, surprised.

“So why did you ask?”

“Because you're contradictory and that, among other things, annoys and troubles me.”

The man lowered the tablet on his lap.

“All right, smartass: why do I care so much? I don't. Not about your precious Mary-Ann, anyway. I didn't become the fucking paladin of tin cans whores all of a sudden, Jesus Christ! I care because I see strings here. Strings pulled from above and I want to fucking cut ‘em.”

Connor LED switched to yellow.

“I fear I do not comprehend your metaphorical explanation.”, he confessed.

Gavin laughed, sarcastic.

“Whatever.”

“Please, clarify”.

“Justice is a fucking joke, Connor! Wake up!”, the man almost shouted, making him wince.

“I still don't…”

“Enough. Speaking with you is a waste of time. I need rest.”

 

Hank hated himself for his idea. It had seemed genial for about, well, a very short period of time caught in between seconds and the fucking distance he had to face to get in front of that place. It was an old deconsecrated church, or maybe it was still a proper church. He didn't know, he wasn't an expert.

“What the fuck am I doing here?”, he muttered, glancing briefly at his brand new phone screen to check if it was, at least, the correct address.

And yes, it was.

“No turning back, now…”, he sighed, pushing the door and getting in.

The name was “Shining hope”, but there was nothing really shining in there. It was an old room with scraped walls and a rotten fitted carpet that, despite the efforts of whoever had tried to clean it, still stank terribly. Despite that, the place was warm and, in its own peculiar – almost pathetic - way, welcoming.

About twenty people were sitting in circle in front of the pulpit. They had already began their meeting and that made Hank feel even more uncomfortable. He decided not to join them so he reached the wall, keeping at distance, to listen and nothing more. He couldn’t help but read what was written on a little plastic board put on the stairs of the pulpit.

**THE TWELVE STEPS**

_What a bunch of bullshit all together…_ He though. _High power my ass. I can do it on my own. This is fucking pointless. What the hell was I thinking?_ He rebuked himself, harshly.

He left his hiding in the shadows to go back to the exit.

“Please, don't leave!”, a woman called him back.

“Fuck…”, he whispered, then he turned, collecting every inch of politeness he possessed - which wasn't that much.

“Sorry. Wrong church.”, he lied.

The lady in her sixties who had spoken joined him with a solar and compassionate smile on her face.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of. Please, join us.”

Hank shook his head, nervous and uneasy.

“No. Look, this isn't really my thing. Higher powers? God? Nah.”, he replied, “Sorry for the interruption.”

“I'm Sarah.”, she presented herself as she hadn't even heard him.

“Yeah. Pleasure to meet you, but…”

“Just give it a try. Stay for the meeting. If it doesn't work, you can leave and never come back. I promise. Give us the possibility to help you. It doesn't matter if you are not a believer.”

Hank glanced at the door and snorted.

“After all, what do I have to lose? I'll stay. For now.”, he surrendered.

“Thank you.”, Sarah smiled at him again, maternal and patient while she was escorting him to his seat. “Excuse us, Carol. Please, continue.”, she told to the girl who was talking.

Hank spent the following two hours listening the terrible stories of addiction of the people in the room. Some of them were really heartbreaking, others just stupid, from his point of view. Despite that he was struggling to understand the point of the entire situation. How could it be helpful to reveal their own dirty secrets and tearful stories just to receive pitiful looks and pats on the shoulders? Since being alcoholics was an addiction, shouldn't a doctor or something be in the room?

“What about you?”, Sarah asked him, at some point.

He winced, tense.

“What? Oh… No. No-no. I'm not really here to share.”

She gave him another odd smile, and Hank ended up wondering if she was high of Holy fucking Jesus’ weed.

“You don't have to talk about the past if you don't feel so. Just introduce yourself. What’s your name?”

He snorted.

“Hank. My name is Hank. Please, spare me the choir-welcome.”, he paused, feeling awkward, “I'm not saying this is useless and I don't mean to be rude. It's just not my thing, okay?”

“Why don't you talk about the reason that brought you here in the first place?”, Sarah insisted.

“I don’t know what I was thinking…”

“You realized that you needed help, Hank, and you're reaching for it. Read the first step.”, Sarah waited, “Come on. Don't be shy.”

Hank felt cornered like never in his life, but, in the end, it was true: he had come to that place because, despite his determination, it was too fucking hard to stay far from a liquor store. Maybe he had to give those weirdos a chance. Still, the last thing he wanted to do was speak about Cole in front of twenty strangers.

“I… Fuck…”, he stopped, refusing to read out loud that nonsense, “Recently I've met…”, he chuckled, shaking his head. He didn't have the slightest idea about how to speak to a crowd of religious people about Connor without make the run away screaming. “Let's just say I've met a person, ok? And we got close, somehow. Even if I never been into… Whatever. I've been alone for a very long time and I honestly didn't think that something so good and… odd could happen to me at this time of my life but… I screwed it. I've been mean with… this person even if it was the last thing I wanted to do. And not only privately. We are colleagues and I compromised everything even at our workplace. I just want to… Jesus, I don't really know. I'm sorry, this was a mistake.”, he concluded.

Rapidly he stood up and he reached the door without looking back, profoundly distressed.

He was about to close the car door when Sarah reached him, breathless.

“You've done well, Hank. It's always hard at the beginning. Please, don't give up. Here, this is my number. I could be your sponsor, if you like.”

Hank kept silent, because he was way too uncomfortable to reply, but he took the piece of paper.

“You don't have to decide right away. Just think about it.”

The man nodded and she smiled again in that weird, almost dissociated way.

“May Jesus be with you.”, she added, stepping back.

“I'd better take my chances with RA9, at least, I can get his number.”, he joked, closing the door and starting the engine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone ^^,  
> so, first of all, I have to point out something really important here. I've got nothing against A.A. groups (religious or atheist) and it's not my intention to condemn them. I think the people who organize this kind of encounters have the best intentions. Despite that, though, alcohol is a very risky addiction. Quitting it abruptly, if you suffer a very serious condition, can cause devastating outcomes for the health, in certain cases even deadly ones. I know that this is just a fanfiction and that maybe I'm pushing too much, but I don't want to give a bad example on the matter. If you have this kind of addiction, or if someone close to you has it (in both cases I really hope not), don't try to solve the problem without the help of a doctor who can study the clinical case and prescribe the correct medications, because, as I said, it can be really dangerous for the health.  
> I considered the possibility of making Hank seriously addicted, but that would have complicated this story even more, so I opted on a condition not severe enough to require medication in order to be kept under control.  
> I'm sorry for the umpteenth wall of text, but I thought that this was a very important issue.  
> Secondarily, I really loved to introduce Kamski here. I don't know if I like his character in the game. I find him both fascinating and creepy at the same time and I hope I'd been able to pass this kind of sensation to you, by describing him.  
> Thank you, as usual, and feel free to comment as you like.  
> Love you!  
> Ros


	19. Chapter 19

Ten days had passed since the suspension but Gavin and Connor hadn't reached any conclusion. Just a ton of speculations more or less believable but not sustained by any evidence. Markus, instead, had kept his word and, with the aid of a selected number of android cooperators, he had started re-examining every Patron file and every complain moved to the aid centers all over the country. It was a huge burden, though, and the problem wasn't going to be solved soon anyway even if he had firmly refused to attend to any new frivolous talk show or pointless interview. He had in mind to make a press conference, sooner or later, but it was not his priority in that specific moment. In the meantime, the public opinion was still arguing about the dangerousness of the deviants and the situation was slowly escalating towards a sinister outcome. Humans were afraid and the tenseness was breathable in the air, especially in Detroit which had the highest number of deviants in the country. There had been several manifestation against androids, some even with minor violent accidents.

Kamski, from the top of his tower, was keeping everything under control and, at the same time, as CEO of the Cyberlife industry, he was working on the projects of brand new non-sentient machines thought to replace androids in most of the main tasks.

Everyone was busy - maybe even lost - in their own obsession: Gavin wanted to solve the case; Markus wanted to help his people ‘till the last android; Connor was caught in between the case, his need to discover his Patron’s secrets and his unsolved feelings for Hank; and only God could tell what Kamski was up to.

And then there was Hank who hadn't done anything at all for the case. He merely had thought about it because it wasn't his priority. He had gone back to the A.A. meetings several times and, even if he didn’t talk that much, and neither he had accepted the presence of an official sponsor in his life, it was eleven day since the last time he had touched a drop of alcohol. Not that he didn't want to. He had never felt so goddamn thirsty in his all life. The weirdos of the A.A. considered it a success, but for him it was just a hell of abstinence and pain. There were moments, especially at night, when he would have given his right arm for a single sip of whiskey. Now that he was lucid, in fact, the ghosts of his past were almost unbearable for him, enough to make him doubt his own strength. The thought of Connor, though, was a strong motivation. Hank really didn't want to hurt him anymore but he also didn't want to deeply investigate why he was doing such a tiring, hurtful effort just for his friend’s sake - because that was what Connor was, a friend and nothing more. He still considered ridiculous and delusional that a perfect creature as Connor could actually have feelings for him, if he had any at all. Moreover, he wasn't doing that to obtain something in return. He would have been more than glad to receive his forgiveness, but he wasn't taking it for granted. Maybe it was already too late. He just didn't want to hurt him again. Still, he hadn't had the courage to call him, yet. He was delaying it day after day because, even if he would never admit it, not even with himself, he feared the almost certain rejection he would have received and, at the same time, eleven days of sobriety was not a success for him, they were nothing. He had spent countless hours trying to remember properly what he had told Connor that goddamned night, but except the  _fucking machine_ thing he could recall very little.

He looked at himself in the mirror and he felt repulsed by what his reflection was showing him. It was like he was seeing himself for the first time in three years. What had happened to the man he once was? Who was that old, grey, shabby bastard he was looking at? It was like he had passed the last three years only half awake. He looked away and there it was that sneaky and so comforting little voice telling him again: _whatever, Hank! There’s nothing you can do ‘bout it. Get a drink! Everything will be good, then._

_Not this time_ . He thought.  _Not today. Maybe tomorrow._

That was the way he was moving: day by day, and with his unbearable thirst, it was already a titanic effort.

He left the bathroom and he opened his wardrobe. Usually he would have picked the first clothes at hand but inadvertently his eyes dropped on the blue shirt Connor had made him buy. He closed his eyes, caressing the fabric with his fingertips. That had been a pleasuring and relaxing afternoon. A happy thought to cling on to. He really wanted to spend other moments like those with Connor, normal ones without killers, drug dealers or maniacs. He deeply desired to have an ordinary life back and a friend to spend it with. He sat on the bed, still in his pants and he sighed, exhausted. His was a beautiful dream indeed but he was aware that there was also a fucking high mountain to climb in between. And again, Connor forgiveness was just an assumption with really unpredictable odds. Regardless, Hank was worried about him. Connor had always had the incredible gift of pulling the good side of people off, usually by playing - or maybe even being - dumb, candid and almost childish but he had changed since the decree. He was stressed, he was insecure and Hank couldn't say why. Was it about his mysterious Patron? Hank was almost sure about it, but he was also sure that Connor would have never told him anything about it.

“Because you're fucking unreliable…”, he blamed himself.

He raised his head when Sumo walked in the bedroom. “Hey, you're not allowed in here!”, he exclaimed but without severity.

The dog barked at him with a very acute whine, then he abandoned his head on Hank’s leg, looking for cuddles.

Hank snorted and smiled, scratching him gently behind the ears.

“You pander…”, he commented, receiving another bark and then some slobbery kisses in return. “You love to have me around all day, don't you, furry bastard?”, he asked him. “Don't get used to it.”, he added, getting back to the wardrobe.

He needed fresh air and a walk to clear his mind, so he dressed up.

He was wandering around the block when he found himself in front of the barber shop he usually went to, so much time before.

“Fuck it…”, he snorted, crossing the road to get inside.

  
  


“Come here.”

Connor frowned but he complied, joining Gavin on the sofa. He sat, keeping a distance of several inches. The man showed him the picture of the victim, still on the sofa of her living room.

“So?”, he asked, confused.

“Don't you see anything odd?”, Gavin interrogated him.

“It a 6.2 inches long cut of the depth of 0.7, inflicted from behind.”

“It's irregular.”, Gavin pointed out.

Connor looked more attentively. “Yes, the blade has been obstructed by the trachea and the murder’s hand has slipped up of 0.6 inches.”

“Maybe…”, Gavin paused for some instants, then he stood up and shook his head, exhausted and frustrated. He was in a very sick condition: dead tired, with an unshaved beard and deep dark circles around his eyes.

“Doesn't matter. It's pointless. Fucking pointless!”, he shouted, kicking the counter.

Connor carefully moved away and then he looked at him.

“You need to let go. Without new elements there's nothing more we can possibly do!”, he told him, calm but just as depressed.

“I'm not a quitter!”, the man replied, pissed.

“That's irrelevant! You need rest and distractions. I want to solve this case as much as you do…”

“Bullshit!”, Gavin interrupted him, violently, “We are not fucking alike!”

“Maybe not, but…”

“Get out!”

“W-what?”

“Get the fuck out! I barely can stand the sight of you! If you can't be of any use, just fucking leave me alone for a while!”

The android wore his plush and then took his jacket. After all, staying away from him was the only thing he wanted. Nevertheless he stopped on the threshold when he heard Gavin's phone start ringing for the umpteenth time.

“You should answer her.”, he stated. He knew it was Angela since Gavin had complained several times about her apprehensive and frequent calls since his suspension. “I can't even start to imagine why someone could be worried for your well being, still she is and you owe her.”

Before Gavin could retaliate, he left the loft and got on the street. It was really cold, but the sky was clear and the sun was shining so joyfully that even the city looked less grey and unpleasant. Nevertheless, Connor's mood was dark and heavy. He was frustrated because of the case but mainly he was annoyed by the situation itself: since they were, formerly, off the case, they couldn't search for any more eventual witnesses, less than ever question them. The thought of Mary-Ann locked in some storage, unfairly deactivated was slowly breaking his heart.

And then there was Hank. How was him? Was he still alive? He had been tempted to call him, but something that he couldn't quite comprehend was restraining him from doing so. It was a matter of pride and feelings. He was firmly convinced that Hank was the one who should have done the first step, but eleven days had passed and there hadn't been nothing but silence from him.

_That's the proof he just sees you as a machine. He doesn’t care._ He thought.

Despite his rage, though, his feelings for him were still as strong as before and… he was missing him. It was a strange and rather unpleasant sensation. It was like, somehow, Hank’s presence in his life had become vital as a principal circuit of his body. He was feeling lonely, mostly abandoned.

The idea of seeing him, even from afar, struck him. It was a silly intention, but as he was wandering aimlessly, it became strong to the point he found himself on a bus directed to Hank's home.

_I just want to check if he's ok. I won't talk to him._ He told himself while he was watching the city flowing under his eyes behind the window.

Despite his plan, he started to become increasingly nervous second after second. The pump in his chest was running wild and it was a rather unpleasant feeling, given the circumstances. He was still angry at Hank and he was still hurt because of him. At the same time, though, the hope of seeing him even for an instant, even from afar, was making him feel thrilled.

It was indeed a contradictory situation. He simply couldn’t explain it. Was it another side effect of love? It was rather disturbing but, no matter how hard he had tried, he simply couldn’t stop his feelings as he would have wanted.

Connor took a deep breath and he stood up to approach the door. He was tensed. What would Hank’s reaction have been if he had noticed him wandering around his house once again?

_Don’t come back here or I’ll shoot you!_ That was what he had said the last time he had been there and since it wasn’t the first time Hank had threatened him in such way, he was also afraid - which was another contradiction from someone who had tried to kill himself just few days before. 

_He doesn’t have a gun._ He recalled with relief, while he was stepping down from the bus.

Hank’s house was just on the other side of the street, so Connor decided to lift the hood of the plush when he saw that the car was there, parked in front of the garage. Hank was home. He reached the window, keeping his head down in order not to be noticed then he peeked inside. The kitchen was empty, for what he could see, and he was about to move to the living room window when Sumo started barking joyful at the known sound of his steps.

“Sumo! Bad dog! Shut up!”, he exclaimed in a whispered scream, but the dog was too happy to see him to obey the order.

A part from his woofs, though, no other sound came from the house and that preoccupied Connor. Was Hank drunk again? Was he sick or in need of help?

The living room was empty as well and the bedroom window was hidden by the curtains. He was about to pick the spare key from the pot in the front when he heard steps approaching. Rapidly he hid behind the corner, pressing the shoulders to the wall, and kept still and silent.

“What the fuck…?”, Hank mumbled, noticing some fresh prints in the snow directed towards the back in a part of the garden he hadn’t stepped on that day. Just for precaution he lowered the hand to unlock his gun from the holster only to remember that he was not armed anymore. He slowed down his steps, making them barely audible and got close to the corner where he spotted a shadow which shouldn’t have been there. Rapidly he jumped forward and, with experience, safety grabbed who he believed was a thief to turn and smash his chest over the wall.

“I’ve seen a lot of idiots, but you’re the best of all! Robbing a cop house is a retarded idea, my friend. Surrender or I’ll snap your arm like a stick.”, he warned him, levering on his waist with all his weight to keep him still.

Connor froze, uncertain, and held back a cry of pain.

“Smart boy. Now, tell me: do you have anything sharp in your pockets?”, Hank asked, receiving no answer in return. “Lost your tongue, hm?”, he mocked him, carefully inspecting his pockets.

When he was sure he wasn’t armed he turned him again and he widened his eyes when he found Connor’s puppy-scared face under that black hood. He immediately let him go and stood back, feeling awkward.

“What the fuck were you doing?!”, he exclaimed.

But the android wasn’t listening to him. Actually, he was just as astonished because the Hank he was looking at was nothing like the Hank he had always knew. His beard was now perfectly groomed and tidy. His hair were shorter by several inches and softly combed backwards. Furthermore, under his jackets, he was wearing all the clothes he had made him buy. He was a radically different man and Connor found him so handsome that everything else disappeared, and all his systems crashed for several instants while a heat wave pulsed all over his body. He had experienced the same sensation before but never so strongly.

“Connor?”, the man called him, glancing, preoccupied, at his bipolar LED, which was switching all the colors at its disposal like a Christmas tree.

The android came back to earth and that, if possible, made him feel even more embarrassed. His pump was still running wild and he couldn’t stop looking at him.

“I… Yes.”

Hank frowned, confused.

“Yes what?”

“I’m fine.”

“I didn’t ask, but good to know.” Hank was feeling uneasy too, though. He didn’t expect to find Connor there and he wasn’t prepared to apologise properly to him. “What are you doing here?”, he questioned him again to gain some time to gather ideas.

“You’ve cut your hair.”

“W-what? Oh. Yes. Yes, I did.”, he answered, clearing his voice and slightly blushing. “I’ve already regretted it.”

“No. It… suits you.”

Hank nodded, sulky.

“Yeah. Are we done with this waltz of avoiding questions?”

Connor looked away, blinking.

“I… I missed you.”, he confessed, candid and shy, and at that it was Hank’s heart turn to skip a beat.

“But I’m still angry at you.”, the android added, raising his eyes and his adorable pout. He didn’t look believable at all but it was clear that he was still hurt.

Hank hinted a sheepish and desolated smile. He was just so happy to see him. All of a sudden all his efforts and the pain done to quit his habit seemed well spent thanks to that sweet and sad hazel eyes. Instinctively, Hank moved forward and tighten him into his arms.

“I’m sorry, Connor…”, he whispered to his ear, “You’re not a _fucking machine_. You’re the most wonderful creature I’ve ever seen, ok?” 

“I’m sorry I’ve smashed all your bottles. And I shouldn’t have blamed you for Fowler’s decision. He would have done it anyway. I was just so…”

“It doesn’t matter.”, Hank interrupted him. 

His heart beat faster when Connor pressed himself over his chest even further, hiding his face between his neck and his shoulder. He could feel his breath over his skin and it was warm like the one of a human. He sighed, closing his eyes. It was good to be so close to Connor, good and bitter-sweet, but Hank didn’t want to think that Connor’s alleged feelings were just temporary. In that moment he just wanted to get along with his own feelings. He lifted his hand on the back of his neck and quivered when Connor sighed over his shoulder like he was a purring cat. It was such a spontaneous reaction that Hank’s arousal grew far over his alert level. He ran his fingers through his hair in a caress that was far too slow to be friendly and innocent and Connor followed the direction of his hand, reclining his head back. He was so genuinely seductive in his candid innocence that Hank felt his breath becoming short. And he was about to lose control when someone, at the front door, rang the bell of his house, waking him up. Almost harshly, he stepped away from him and went away.

Connor didn’t move. Their hug had lasted 35.8 seconds and in that very short amount of time he had experienced something so strong and unknown he was stunned and somehow hurt by Hank’s abrupt parting. That had been a disruptive, terrifying sensation, but he would have wanted it to last and grow because now he was feeling so inexplicably ungratified. He slowly moved and peeked at the porch from behind the corner to see who had interrupted their hug.

A pleasuring woman, some years older than Hank, was speaking to him and he seemed friendly in her regard.

“My God, what a change! You look gorgeous!”, Sarah complimented him.

The man, instead, looked embarrassed but the problem wasn’t Sarah at all, he was still shocked about what had almost happened with Connor.

“Yeah. What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t see you yesterday, so I thought to step by and check if everything was ok. I know, I know, you don’t want to be pushed, but I just wanted you to know that someone cares about you, Hank.”, she paused, “I also made an apple pie for you.”, she answered, leaning forward the covered tray she was holding.

Hank blinked a couple of times, unprepared, then he took it.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to. I’m… fine.”

Sarah smiled, satisfied.

“Splendid. I’ll leave you to it. Will you come tomorrow?”

“Parties aren’t really my thing…”

“Oh, come on, it will be fun.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll be there.”, Hank surrendered just to make her go as soon as possible. He had more than enough problems in his hands in that moment.

“Oh, I’m so happy! See you at eight, then!”

Connor watched Sarah return to her car and leave, his LED was shining red. Who was that woman and why was she so familiar with Hank? Was her the reason of Hank’s change of look? What wasn’t Hank supposed to be pushed about? Was it a date?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ^^,  
> I'm sorry, I'm one day late in posting this chapter, but I simply couldn't make it on time this week because I've been to Lucca Comics and Games (it's the italian ComiCon) for five days, and that has been beautiful and exhausting at the same time. I'm also sorry if this last two chapters seem more flat, but I really need to slow things down a bit in order to push them again, at some point.  
> Thank you as usual, and, again, my apologies for the delay!  
> Ros


	20. Chapter 20

“Are you planning to stay out there ‘till you freeze up again?”, Hank questioned him.

Connor was still looking at the road, right to the spot where that woman’s car had been just a moment before. He had memorized both her face and her license plate but since he was disconnected there was little he could do with that information.

“Coming.”, he replied, displeased.

He had just reached the threshold when Sumo literally jumped on him with his 110 kg of weight, crashing him on the floor under a cute attack made of kisses and joyful barks.

“Sumo!”, Hank tried to call him back, “Jesus fucking Christ, cut it off!”, he shouted, grabbing him from the collar and pulling him back with all his strength. The dog finally gave up and sat down, wagging his tail happily.

“That's what happens when you spoil dogs and since he's not a fucking chihuahua, he wins. You had it coming.”, Hank rebuked Connor. “Are you ok?”

The android smiled at Sumo, ignoring the pain that was pulsing all over his back, then he stood up, nodding.

“It's nothing. I can handle him.”, he dismissed the accident. “Good boy.”, he added, patting on the dog head.

“Don't praise him. He can't jump on people like that. You may be resistant, but humans bones aren't. To your corner, now!”, the man ordered to his dog, severe.

Sumo whined and he lowered both his ears and his tail, but he obeyed nonetheless. Connor watched him go.

“Don't sympathize.”, Hank warned him. Then he sat on the sofa, feeling uneasy about what had happened shortly before. He had almost kissed Connor and also he had fantasized about… whatever.

“So… where have you been all this time?”, he asked just to speak about something and destroy that awkward silence.

Connor hesitated, uncertain.

“I’ve spent a lot of time with detective Reed, actually.”

The man tensed visibly.

“Why in the fucking world you..?”

“We are still working on the case.”, Connor interrupted him, walking nervously back and forth.

“You can't do that. None of you. He's suspended and you're off the case! Stop now. I don't want you to get into trouble, for Christ sake!”, he paused, “Have you reached any new conclusion?”

Connor frowned, confused.

“You just said that it is dangerous and yet you want to partecipate!”

The man laughed.

“Humans are stupid and I'm a champion of my kind. So?”

“Nothing relevant. Without new elements it's just pointless to go on but… detective Reed seems obsessed by this case. He's starting to behave in a very irrational way.”

“Are you worried about him, now?”, Hank snorted, pissed.

“No. I'm just trying to understand human nature. Contradictions confuse me. Wouldn't be easier for you to choose a position and keep it until the end?”

The man didn't know what to answer to that.

“Who programmed us was a jerk.”, he joked. “But your increasing inclination to separate us humans from you androids, is somehow… I don't know, disturbing and not like you. What's wrong, Connor?”, he asked.

The android LED turned yellow and he stopped walking.

“Everything was easier before. When I was a machine I never questioned the orders I received. I only had to obey them. Now I simply don't know who to follow.”, he paused, “Look at what happened with the case: Fowler decided to proceed despite the absence of solid proofs against Mary-Ann, which is wrong and, at least apparently, counterproductive. Apparently because the judge is also a human and he could find Mary-Ann guilty anyway. Then there's Reed who seems to hate androids more than anything, but, at the same time, he's losing his mind to solve this case. You, instead, a pro-deviant from the very first day, are barely interested in Mary-Ann’s future.”, he paused again, then he looked at him, distressed, “Maybe I'm stupid, Hank, but none of this makes any sense to me.”

The man lowered his head, thoughtful.

“It's complicated.”, he admitted, “Politics is a latrine where the bigger fish is always ready to eat the smaller one if the latter does not behave as he wants. Since the deviant revolution, Fowler is in a very fragile position. Anti-deviants accuse him of incompetence because he didn't prevent the rise of the revolution itself; pro-deviants, instead, believe that he wasn't able to protect androids from their abusive owners. If I were him, I would have escaped to Mexico right away. Probably the mayor has threatened him somehow but trust me: the Fowler I know is probably hating himself for having sold his ass to the devil.”

“Why creating laws in the first place if no one intends to follow them?”, Connor interrupted him, annoyed.

“Because without them it would be way worse. I know, it's hard to understand from your point of view, but it's just how the world goes round. About Gavin, I can't fucking tell. He loves to be the first of the class. That's it, I guess.”

“No…”, Connor replied, uncertain, “Not in this circumstance. I'm starting to think that he might have a personal reason behind his obsession but the nature of it is hard to imagine.”, he paused. “Are you aware that his full record requires a higher level of clearance to be read?”, he asked.

Hank blinked, surprised.

“What? No, I didn't.”

“Don't you find it odd?”

“I actually don't give a shit. Why did you wanted to read it in the first place?”, Hank asked, quite pissed and worried at the same time. Why on earth was Connor so interested in Reed? As absurd as it was, he could only imagine one answer.

“To gain information.”, the android replied with that detestable petulant way of his when he didn't want to talk about something.

Hank took a deep breath to stay calm about what he was going to say.

“Look, I know you're gay because you told me and I suppose that Reed could be considered a pretty boy, but… Jesus, he's a fucking asshole, and, as far as I know, he's even straight, Connor. Despite that, you should… Shit, at least aspire to someone better, someone at your level. Like… I don't know, Markus, for instance, if he's gay too. I know shit about how deviants sexuality works. Maybe you don't even make a gender distinction!”, he concluded, avoiding to look at him.

Connor was unpleasantly astonished and almost enraged.

“I'm not interested in detective Reed in a romantic or sexual way, lieutenant! What an idiotic conclusion!”, he stated and there was so much hatred and disgust in his voice that his sincerity wasn't in question. “I've read his record as long as the records of every member of the investigation team _to gain information_.”, he insisted with a half truth.

Hank winced, relieved and sad at the same time because Connor hadn't excluded Markus from his possible romantic interests. He would have been the perfect companion for him, though. Both smart, caring and virtually immortal.

“Well, that's a relief…”, he sighed. “I was really worried about your interest in him.”

“That man tried to kill me!”

“I tried to kill you as well. I would have shot you at the park if you hadn't talked me out of it.”, Hank pointed out, “And there you are. See? Even deviants can be contradictory.”

“You're nothing like him.”, Connor replied, very firm, “You have your issues but you're a good man. He's not.”

He would have wanted to scream out what a monster Gavin was, but he couldn't. Not in Hank's presence.

“Who was that woman?”, he asked, instead.

“Mh? What woman?”

“The one at the door. Before.”

“Oh, Sarah. No-one, really.”, Hank answered, feeling uneasy.

He wasn't ready to talk about the A.A. meetings with Connor. It was too early. He wanted to be sure that his was a successful attempt to quit his habit. He didn't want to give him false hopes.

“She’s surely someone.”, Connor insisted and didn't even try to hide how annoyed he really was about the matter.

Hank felt cornered. Despite all his effort to convince himself that Connor wasn't actually infatuated with him, it started to be crystal clear even for an unsure, shy and grumpy bastard like him. And the little shit was jealous too. He couldn’t help but blush, feeling embarrassed.

He gulped.

“She… she's just a friend. A recent acquaintance. Nothing more.”, he tried to give him a very sloppy reassurance and, as expected, he obtained the opposite result. Connor couldn't turn fast enough for him not to notice his red blinking LED.

“She seems like a fine woman.”, the android stated, nonetheless.

Hank smiled, softened and he shook his head. Speaking about contradictions: how could Connor be so smart and so dumb at the same time? How could he not notice how fond of him he actually was? Especially after their last hug. So much from the most advanced android detective! He almost felt the urge to comfort him but he restrained it. The situation was complicated and Hank wasn't ready to discover himself bisexual in his fifties. Hell, he wasn't even sure if bisexual was the right definition for his condition since Connor wasn't properly a man. Was it the beginning of a totally new sexual orientation? He didn't know and neither he cared. One thing was certain, though, Connor surely deserved more than Reed and also more than him. Despite how honored Hank felt about being his very first crush, he was aware that it was because of the trail of his program, and he also knew that Connor would have found the man or the android or the whatever of his dream, one day, and he was totally cool with it. Or, at least, he was pretending to be in that moment of sad lucidity.

“Yes. Sarah is fine.”, he agreed, and he found bittersweet the spurn expression Connor was struggling to hide.

Hank cleared his throat and decided to change the matter.

“Look, I know I deeply offended you, that night, and being drunk is not an excuse. I literally have no idea of what I was thinking, but I'm really sorry and I want it to be clear. We're friends, Connor.”, he chuckled, “Hell knows what gives you the patience to tolerate me but your presence is a gift and… whatever. I think I made my point.”, he concluded, awkward.

The android smiled, still distracted by that woman.

“It's dinner time.”, he cut it off, “Do you want me to prepare something for you? I'm becoming quite good at cooking.”, and that was true, since Reed despotic attitude hadn't changed towards being served.

Hank frowned.

“You're not my fucking housekeeper.”, he answered, alerted, “Does your Patron force you to do domestic stuff?”

Connor blinked, surprised by Hank's perceptive skills. He had to be careful.

“No. I asked her to teach me. It might be useful.”

The man was unconvinced. He stood up.

“Don't bother. I'll order something. I don't want a servant.”

Connor felt hurt by that rejection. He understood Hank's point of view, but he really would have preferred to cook for him. At least to prove that he was capable of baking an apple pie, just like that… _Sarah_. But Hank didn't give him time to protest and he ordered a pizza.

“What about watching a movie?”, the man suggested.

Connor tilted his head.

“A movie?”, he repeated like a parrot.

“Don't tell me you don't know what a movie is, Jesus!”, Hank mocked him, amused.

“No. I mean, of course. It's just, I’ve never watched one.”

He was so cute, Hank thought.

“It's not too late to start. Come on.”, he sat back on the sofa and he patted the spot next to him in a clear invitation.

Connor hesitated.

“Should I posses some particular ability for this kind of activity?”, he asked, sincerely concerned and he felt slightly offended when Hank replied with a loud laugh. His LED switched to yellow.

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I'm an asshole.”, the man apologized, “You just need to follow the story while you're watching it. Trust me, if I can do it, you'll have no problem.”

“Agreed…”, Connor consented, sitting next to him.

Very attentively, he studied Hank while he was searching in the library of his streaming platform. It was such a hard responsibility for him and a complicate choice to make. What should have been Connor's first movie? A classic? A cult? Something more recent? And what genre?

“Are we supposed to watch a movie or the list of them?”, the android asked after some minutes.

Hank stop his scrolling to look at him.

“I'm trying to find the perfect one, you asshole.”, he complained.

Connor smiled and he was about to answer that any choice was a good one, when the pizza boy rang the bell. Hank stood up and he took the opportunity to pick up the remote controller.

“This one is misspelled. Shall we contact the customer service to report the mistake?”

Hank got back to the sofa and glanced at the tv screen.

“It's not misspelled.”

“Yes, it is. It’s cemetery not sematary.”, Connor insisted.

The man snorted with a smile.

“What I meant is that the title is written that way for a reason, smartass.”, he mocked him and Connor seemed even more confused.

“What reason?”

“It’s in the plot.”

“All right, let's watch this one.”

Hank opened the pizza box and took a slice.

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?”, Connor was astonished.

“I don't even know where to start. We just won't.”

“That's hardly an explanation.”, the android pointed out.

Hank sighed.

“First of all, this is the first movie out of the book and it's very old and aged. Secondarily, you don't seem the horror type. It would blow your brain out. And then, even if I like horror stuff, this specific horror is not for me either.”

“But…”

“It's a no, Connor. We are not watching Pet Sematary. Period.”, Hank cut it off.

“That seems unfair…”, Connor protested, crossing the arms against his chest.

  


Gavin didn’t need Connor’s advice to know that his was a fucking retarded idea that could possibly cost him his job, but he couldn’t help it. The fucking tin can was right: they needed new elements and there was only one way to obtain them. He took a deep breath, then he rang the bell of the victim house, since that was the address Jane Collins had left to the police to remain at their disposal. The girl opened up after some time and she looked surprised to find him at her door.

“The case is closed.”, she pointed out, almost severe.

Gavin smiled at her, charming.

“Are you free tonight?”, he asked, direct.

Jane blinked, surprised.

“I thought you weren't interested… What made you change your mind?”

“You’ve said it: the case is closed and I’m also suspended. So… why not? I’m inclined to think that you weren’t flirting with me just for fun at the station. Maybe I’m wrong, but pretty as you are, it was worth a try.”

She studied him attentively, intrigued but also diffident.

“Why now?”

“It was more prudent to wait a little.”

“Is this because of Skyler? I won’t tell you where to find him, pretty-boy.”

Gavin smiled, amused.

“Trust me: I couldn’t care less about him. I’m at homicide, remember? I don’t give a fuck about drugs.”, he replied and that was the only sincere thing he had told her since the beginning. “I’m here just because of you. It can still cause me some trouble at work, but, as I said, I’m ready to take the risk. So, where do you want to go?”

“What if I say no?”, she provoked him, but it was rather clear that she was interested.

“I’ll back off. I’m a gentleman.”

She laughed, amused. “That’s bullshit. Luckily for you, I don’t like gentlemen. Get in. I’m all alone in this fucking big house and it sucks.”

Gavin didn’t make Jane say that twice and he followed her to the living room. The sofa where her mother had been slaughtered was gone as well as the carpet. Nonetheless, the room was messy and dirty. He couldn’t help but notice a pipe on the coffee table as long as some bags of red ice.

“Charming…”, he ironized.

“Who fucking cares? When I’ll get my slice of the heritage I’ll sell this shithole anyway. Suit yourself, if you like.”, Jane replied, pointing at the pipe.

It was probably a test to prove how much of a bad boy he actually was. How low was he willing to go for that fucking investigation? Was it really useful as he thought for his purpose or was he just running in circles again? He couldn’t tell, but he feared that that was the only way to prove Jane he was trustworthy enough to lower her guard and, after all, he needed a push forward since his libido was below zero in that moment. He simply couldn’t find her attractive, despite how pretty that girl actually was. He was tense and, in some measure, even disgusted by himself. He picked up the pipe, he filled it and then he lighted it up inhaling deeply.

“My-my, you truly are a surprise, detective! You’re rotten to the core…”, she commented, almost purring, intrigued.

But he wasn’t listening to her. The effect of the red ice had been almost immediate and it was so subtly pleasuring. He had never felt so good and so strong in years. Hell, he was near to feel even happy and that was fucking impossible, he was aware of that. Suddenly free from all his problems and doubts, he became reckless. He kissed her, roughly, and, right after, they had sex right there on that dirty living room floor, not far from where the victim had been killed.

If someone had asked him to reconstruct the events of that evening he wouldn’t have had a clue. Surely he had smoked red ice more than once and about the sex he wasn’t fucking sure. When he woke up it was almost two in the morning and he was feeling awful. Jane was sleeping next to him, naked, or maybe she was passed out. He hardly got to stand on his feet, desperately trying to regain some lucidity. He dressed up. He was there for a fucking reason and he wanted to get the job done despite all the psychological and physical pain he was suffering as a side effect. His determination was saving him, at least for the time being. He carefully searched the room. Since Jane’s phone records had been examined for evidence and had came out completely clean, she must had had another one, at least to keep in touch with her drug dealer.

He was right and it wasn’t hard to find at all. He unlocked it and he ignored all the correspondence about the drugs. He really didn’t care, if someone was stupid enough to ruin his life with that shit, it was totally his call. He only cared about the case.

He scrolled back to the day before Jane’s interrogatory and there it was; some messages from another disposable phone number telling her exactly what she should tell to the police. The surprise of that confirmation was so strong that he almost felt his heart explode in his chest, or maybe it was the red ice still circling in his body. He didn’t know and he didn’t care. The proof he had found weren’t final, but they were certainly something.

He was one step closer, but he had to move quickly.

He put the phone in his pocket, he left the house and then he jumped on his car.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone ^^,  
> I'm going to make two warnings, I'm starting a new job next week in the capital, so I'll keep up writing this story but there could be some delays until I'll be properly set down there (it's very far from my current homeplace). I'm so sorry, but my life is quite an adventure and I can't program anything. I actually still don't know what my work timetable will be. Anyway, I'm not dropping this story and, if I can organize my self quickly, maybe there won't be any delay.  
> Second warning: I picked up Pet Sematary for a reason (it's not the best movie ever made but it can be useful to me for treat the thematic of death and resurrection). Still, I'm aware that it's a very old movie and, maybe, many of you haven't even seen it (anyway it's from a King's book with the same title). I'm aware even that a remake of this movie is going to come out soon, so, if you don't want any spoiler about it, let me know and I'll cut that scene (since it's a secundary one I can actually cut it, even if I'd prefer not to).  
> That said, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. See you next week!  
> Thank you.  
> Ros


	21. Chapter 21

Connor looked at his left and he softly smiled. Hank was deeply asleep, he was even snoring. He had dropped unconscious about right after the beginning of the 2031’s action movie he had picked.

Connor glanced at the TV screen, cautious like a fox ready to break in a hen-house. The one he was watching was not a boring movie, still, he cared very little about it, since it wasn't the one Hank had formally prohibited him to watch. He couldn’t stop thinking about Pet Sematary. He was deadly curious.

_It will blow your mind out._

The remote controller was right on the man lap, partially under his wrist. It wasn't hard to reach and that tempted Connor even more. How could he safely take it without waking him up? He studied the situation: Hank was relaxed and his sleep was anything but light, or, at least, it seemed so.

It was worth a try.

After all, if caught, Connor could still tell Hank that he just wanted to stop the movie in order to watch it later together. It was reasonable, wasn’t it?

Careful, he tighten his fingers around the remote controller and he slowly let it sled from under Hank's forearm.

The man winced, scaring him to death, then he simply babbled something incomprehensible and he kept on sleeping like a stone.

Connor's LED switched back on blue and slowly he relaxed. He didn't even notice that he hadn't breathed during the entire operation. He lowered the volume of the TV screen and then he switched back to the movie library where he searched for Pet Sematary. And there it was, the first one dated 1989.

 _Hank was four years old when this movie came out._ He denoted, looking at the man, and he immediately recalled another of his statements: _Is old and aged_. Did he considered himself old and aged as well? The android wondered. He didn't find him that old and now, with his change of look, he was even more handsome to his eyes.

He contemplated him for a long instant then he sighed, doubtful. How could he make Hank understand his feelings without receiving an explicit refusal in response? And how could he become likable at his eyes? He could modify his appearance but not enough to be a woman or look like one. Furthermore, if that Sarah could make Hank happy, who was him to step between them and ruin everything? His goal - his mission - was Hank’s welfare, not his own, after all.

Saddened, he looked at Sumo and the dog immediately stood up, shaking his tail and then running in his direction.

“No! Sumo, don't!”, Connor whispered, standing up and blocking him before he could jump on the sofa and wake up his owner. Defeated, he sat on the floor and soon after, Sumo joined him, resting his head on his lap.

“All right, let's watch this movie. Thank you for the company.”, he smiled at him, scratching his ear.

He adored Sumo and he loved to spoil him every time he could. He didn’t care about Hank’s rebuke on the matter and if the dog would have jumped on that Sarah making her falling on the floor, well… he wouldn’t have been so sorry about that either.

 

Hank woke up at the sound of the well known Ramones’ song. He blinked, confused, for a fraction of second then he noticed that Connor was no longer at his side. It didn't took too long to see him, sat on the floor while the credits of Pet Sematary were running on the TV screen.

“What the fuck?!”, he exclaimed, jumping on his feet, “What are you? A goddamned child?!”

Sumo, raised his ears, scared and immediately withdrawn back to his corner with an acute whine. Nothing good could come from his owner voice tone and he was no hero. The man, in fact, ripped off the remote controller from Connor's hands, even if it was already too late, and he looked at him with a severe and pissed gaze. As expected, his android was a mess. His LED was blinking red and he looked on the verge of crying.

“I've told you! I’ve _fucking_ told you!”, the man protested. “You had it coming!”

Connor blinked, confused and perturbed. He had so many doubts he didn't even know where to start to express them. Only one thing was certain: the reason why Hank hadn't wanted to watch it. The movie was about a father who lost a child in an accident and his opportunity to revive him, somehow, creating a monster. That, though, was not the issue that was scaring him. It had been a very confusing vision for him, and even if he was aware that magic didn’t exist, the issues that the movie had touched were truly terrifying him because he could denote more than several similarities with his own condition. Furthermore, now Hank was angry at him and he didn’t want him to be angry again, not right after their reconciliation.

“I… I'm sorry Hank…”, he whispered, struggling to control the panic.

“Screw your puppy-eyes. You're only sorry I was right, you dumbass.”, Hank rebuked him.

He was still severe but most of all he was concerned. He snorted, then he sat on the floor right in front of him.

“So?”, he urged him.

Connor tilted his head and Hank rolled his eyes.

“I know you have a shitton of questions and I know that, behind that poker face of yours, you’re freaking out. Spit it out. Hell knows what conclusion you could reach on your own!”

The android blinked, several times, trying to process.

“I… What if that happened to me too?”

“That… what?”

“What if… what if the Connors I was before were better than me? What if I'm evil and rot like the… the _things_ of this movie? What if I'm…”, his shaking voice fade to silence. He was truly scared about that particular issue. If the first RK800 was Connor, then who was he? Another person? A failed copy? But in that case, if he really was a copy, how could he be alive? Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe what he was living was just a glitch destined to collapse at some point.

He had fallen in a loop of irrational fears and he wasn’t able to come out of it.

Hank winced, unprepared, that was a topic he hadn't saw coming. He was expecting other questions. Shit about life and death, not about his being a clone of the previous Connor. He could understand his doubts, though, but that mattered very little, since he hadn't the slightest idea of how to answer to him. Was he the first Connor? Was he another Connor? Hell if he knew. He took a deep breath, restraining himself from yelling another _I told you, you stupid asshole!_

The only thing he could rationally do was minimize the movie.

“Connor, this is a work of fiction. It’s not real.”, he stated, very calm. “I'm pretty sure no-one has buried you in a Native’ cemetery, so...”, he tried to joke but he repented when he saw Connor’s LED freak out again.

“I've been buried! I saw my… my tombstones in Amanda’s garden! What if every piece of Connor had fade away death after death? What if I’m just a fallacious set of data and memories belonging to someone else? Who am I, Hank?”, he whined. His head was hurting so much in that moment, he felt like it was about to explode. “And if I'm not Connor, maybe I'm something else. Something inefficient! I… I can be dangerous for the people around me!”, he cried.

Hank leaned forward, grabbing him from the shoulders, firmly.

“Connor, it's just a fucking movie. It’s not real! It has nothing to do with you or the other androids! Kamski wasn't even in his mother's dreams when this movie came out and surely King wasn't thinking about you when he wrote the book. Calm down, please. It is _not real._ ”, he tried to reassure him, hating himself for having fell asleep. “Connor, you're just yourself, with your merits and your flaws and I'm glad that you're here, ok? Glad. You're not someone else, you’re not a mistake, and surely you're not a heartless monster like the ones in Pet Sematary.”

“How could you know?”, the android asked.

He had indeed did terrible things with Reed, then he had lied and deceived ever since. He was a horrible creature and a totally different person from the first Connor. Furthermore he was malfunctioning: his ability of controlling his emotions was increasingly deteriorating, what if it had started happening even with his ability of controlling his actions? What if he’d become deadly like a dead child playing with a scalpel?

“Will you promise something to me, Hank?”, he whispered. “If I ever die again, please, don’t bring me back. I don’t want to… I…”, the true issue was that he couldn’t foresee what would have happened to his software with the virus he had in it. A monster could indeed be born from it.

“Nonsense.”, the man couldn’t hide a softened smile.

“Please!”

“ Alright, alright. I promise.”, he gave up, “Jesus, you're so dumb…”, he mocked him, slightly amused, caressing his cheek, “You are the most caring creature I ever encountered, you just need to learn how to cope with your emotions. I know you're scared but trust me on this: you're anything but a heartless, unaware, killer monster and that, for the umpteenth time, is just a fucking movie.”, he repeated, pointing at the TV screen.“ This is also my fault. I shouldn't have fallen asleep, I'm sorry, and I should have explained to you why I didn't want you to watch Pet Sematary.”

Connor eyes filled with terror when another terrible conclusion reached his brain like a devastating an rather unexpected blast. He abruptly hugged him, hiding his face against his chest.

“I don't want you to die!”, he sobbed, desperate.

Hank's heart skipped a beat. He froze for a long instant, then he closed his eyes, gently putting his fingers in his hair with a caress. That was the issue he was expecting, and it was hurtful as such.

“Connor…”

“I don't want you to die!”, he repeated.

“Hey… Hey, look at me, ok?”, Hank forced him to raise his head. “Humans die, you've always knew that.”

“But it never be so real for me, before! I…”

“I'm not dying right now, ok?”, Hank interrupted him. “I'm here, in front of you, in good health. Everything’s good.”

“It doesn't matter!”, Connor cried, almost aggressively, “One day you will. I'll be there to see that happen and I won't be… I… I won't be able to prevent it in any way!”

And that was the reason why he had to stay as far as possible from him, Hank thought. He knew how painful it was to lose a loved one. The pain had almost killed him. He surely didn't want Connor to feel that sorrow, because he was right: he had to die, sooner or later.

He held him tighter, speechless.

“Promise me that you'll take care of yourself. At least quit your habit.”, Connor whispered. “Maybe, in the meantime, someone will find a solution.”

“A solution to death?”, Hank’s ironized.

“Just promise me, ok?”

Hank sighed, uncertain. Was that the night of the foolish oaths? No? Because it was starting to look as such. Hell, he would have promised him the moon if that would have been enough to calm him down a little.

 _If you tell him that you’ve already quit it, there’s no coming back._ The sneaky voice was whispering to him. _Are you sure you want to take that risk? If you fail, and you will fail, you’ll break his heart. Keep quiet. Don’t tell him anything._

He took a deep breath.

“Look, I… I didn't want to tell you, yet, because I don't know if this shit will work out but…”, he interrupted himself when he heard a loud crash followed by an abrupt braking coming from the garden. He immediately stood up.

“Stay there!”, he ordered Connor, proceeding cautiously to the window and peeking outside. “Jesus Christ, what the fuck?!”, he exclaimed when he saw Reed crawling out of his car and fall into the snow like a sack.

“What happened?”, Connor asked, confused.

“Hell if I know. Stay here.”

Hank opened the door and, as expected, his poodle-android followed him right away, but he didn't move from the threshold when he saw detective Reed. Hank, instead, reached him and helped him stand up. The man was a mess and Hank was sincerely astonished. He was about to ask what the hell was he doing at his place in the middle of the night when Gavin handed him a phone.

“I got it! I fucking got it!”, he exclaimed. “I got her!”

“Are you high or something? What the fuck are you talking about?!”, Hank asked. He glanced at his car, badly parked in the middle of his goddamned garden. There was trash all over the place since the asshole had crashed on his bins in the process.

God, did he hate him.

Gavin closed his eyes, fighting to gain some lucidity. Then he noticed Connor and he moved in his direction. He stumbled and the android instinctively caught him before he could crash on the floor. Gavin was shaking badly and his body temperature was high. He winced, coughing, then he couldn't restrain a retch and he ended up puking all over his hoodie.

Hank made a disgusted sound, Connor blinked, confused, and no matter what he kept on holding Gavin up on his feet. The stink was almost unbearable for him, but he had to ignore it.

Why was he there? And what did he meant with I _got her_? Was he speaking about Mary-Ann? Had he found the proofs against her?

“Bring this asshole inside…”, Hank told him, even if doing so was literally the last thing he wanted to do.

Connor obeyed and he brought Gavin to the kitchen table.

The man sat on a chair, breathing heavily, distressed and sick.

“It's… red ice. Probably.”, Connor whispered to Hank, after a rapid scan.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Don't…”, Gavin gulped, restraining other retches, “Don't fucking look at me like that! I'm not a junkie. It was… Jesus Christ… It was the only way.”

“Whatever, asshole. The only thing I care about is why, of all the fucking places in Detroit, you decided to crash at mine!”, Hang growled, particularly unsympathetic.

Connor widened his eyes, perceptive.

“What did you do?”, he asked, tense, “Detective Reed, what..?”

“What was necessary!”, Gavin shouted, angry, “The phone. It's Jane's. There are evidences inside and… more. Maybe. I… tin-can, bring me some water.”

Used to orders, Connor complied immediately. Hank, on his part was speechless. He rapidly checked the phone records, then he smashed his hand on the table right in front of Reed’s face, furious.

“How did you take it? Did you steal it from her? What the fuck were you thinking? No court in the country will accept this as a proof, you idiot!”

Gavin shook his head.

“I don't give a shit about the court! It's enough to re-open the case, you imbecile! It’s what we needed!”, he exclaimed, “Call Fowler. He… He's your friend. He'll listen to you.”

“Oh, yeah, and tell him what? That one of his detectives has dropped into my house in the middle of the fucking night, high on red ice, with the stolen evidences of a case he has been suspended from?! He'll skin us alive! Jesus Christ! _Call Fowler_ , he says!”, Hank looked at Connor, “You were right: he's completely insane!”

“Let's calm down. May I see the phone?”, the android replied. He checked all the data inside almost instantly then he looked at Reed, but before he could speak, the man anticipated him, distressed.

“I told you not to look at me like that, you freak! I don’t need your fucking sympathy! I did what I had to do! I did what no-one in here had the bollocks to do!”, Gavin took a deep breath, “We're losing time. Hank you must call Fowler and your anti-narcotics pals. If we use the information on the phone before Jane notices I’ve stolen it, we can catch a lot of people tonight! Get a move on, you asshole!”

“And what will you do when that girl will tell everyone that you, a police detective, did drugs and God knows what else with her tonight, mh?!”, Hank attacked him. “It will make these proves useless!”

Gavin stood up.

“This are my fucking business, Hank! I'll come up with something and I'll deal with her!”, he shouted at his face. He looked furious, desperate and decontrolled like never before, Connor denoted. Probably the fading effects of the red ice were bringing out all his ghosts in that moment.

Exhausted, Reed crashed back on the chair.

“Fuck! FUCK!”, Hank screamed, then he took out his phone and he left the room to speak with Fowler. That was a particularly fragile task. He didn't want Reed to intervene in his current conditions and make the situation even worse. Connor could manage to stay alone with him for some minutes. He closed the corridor door behind his back.

“You should have told me.”, the android whispered to his Patron.

He was facing contradictory emotions in that moment: he hated Gavin for what he had done to him, but, at the same time, he couldn't ignore his effort to solve a problem that was mainly his own. He was the one who had promised Mary-Ann she would have been safe. He was the one who let her down.

And now he was feeling like he owed him and that acknowledgment was deeply distressing for him.

Gavin raised his eyes in his direction.

“You'd have stopped me.”, he replied, surprisingly calm, almost dizzy.

And that was true. He would have tried, at least.

“Why did you do that?”, he couldn't help but ask.

“Because… I hate him more than you machines.”, Reed answered, confused, then he lowered his head on the table, sleepy. Connor got rid of his dirty hoodie, then he escorted him to the sofa.

 _I hate him._ Gavin had said. Who was the _him_ he was talking about? That situation was becoming increasingly more complicated, but somehow, he felt one step closer to the solution.

Hank got back soon after with a tense expression on his face.

“He was falling asleep… I…”, Connor felt the urge to explain why he was there watching over him, but the man dismissed the matter with a gesture. He had other problems at hand.

“Fowler told me to pass the information to the narcotics and he re-opened the case. He asked a warrant to the Collins' properties and the arrest of Jane Collins.”

“No matter what Gavin did?”, Connor asked, surprised.

Hank whispered, shaking his head.

“I didn't tell him everything but he's not stupid. He has surely read between the lines. I don’t have the slightest idea about what he wants to do with him. Whatever. I don't fucking know and I don't fucking care.”, he paused, “Grab something clean from my wardrobe. We're going to the station to talk to Jane. Let’s try to fix this fucking mess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> I'm back. I'm sorry for the last week-gap, but things in here were messier than I thought. Luckily, I've got some time to write, so, here we are with the new chapter. I hope you liked it!  
> Thank you, as usual!  
> Ros


	22. Chapter 22

Hank looked very tense, in the car, and Connor didn't know how to start a dialogue. Now that he was calm again, he was feeling ashamed of his previous behavior. All of his doubts were still there but somehow, they weren't as terrifying anymore. Actually, he was feeling rather stupid, but that surely was not the moment to talk about it… was it?

He was not sure. He cleared his throat.

"Hank?"  
The man winced, distracted.

"Mh?"  
"I'm sorry about... About before. I should have reacted more properly."

Hank smiled.

"Don't bother. You were just scared. It's comprehensible. After all, it was your first horror movie."

Connor shook his head.

"It's not that... I shouldn't have blamed you for... Well, for your future death."

The man glanced at him in disbelief.

"Wait a second: you were blaming me for my death like it was my choice?! Seriously?!"

"Yes. That's the reason why I'm apologizing."

Hank laughed loudly, sincerely amused.

"You are the worst... Drop it. No offense taken. Ok? Jeez, I needed a good laugh!"  
Connor blinked, confused and somehow annoyed. That was a serious matter and since Hank was the one who was actually going to die, at some point of his life - more properly at the end of it- , he couldn't understand what he had to laugh about. Maybe for humans was different. Death was something normal for them, something they were used to cope with from the beginning. If that was true, though, why did they suffer so much for the loss of a closed one? Formally, that should have been natural too for them.

Another confusing contradiction.

He asked himself if he would have ever been able to fully understand their nature. He had time, of course, but the possibility of having an infinite amount of it didn't reassure him at all. Hank would have been long gone anyway.

"I can almost hear your brain creaking.", the man mocked him.  
"That's not possible, my... Oh, that was a joke.", Connor stated, embarrassed. He paused. "What were you telling me? Before Reed arrived."

Hank tensed visibly he even squeezed harder the steering wheel.

"Hm?", he tried to dissimulate. "Hell, I can't remember.”, he replied.

The moment of truth had passed and with that his confidence. It was too early. He needed to be sure that he would have been able to succeed in his effort before giving Connor false hopes. His android was way too sensible on the matter.

He could almost feel his gaze burn on his cheek.

In fact, Connor was disappointed. Why was Hank lying to him? What was he hiding? Was it about that woman? Was Hank aware of his feelings and his lie was just a way to avoid him the pain of a rejection?

Everything was possible and all the outcomes were terrible. He considered the idea of confronting him right away but they were close to the station and they had more important tasks to cope with.

“What’s your opinion about detective Reed’s actions?”, he asked, instead, quite perturbed.

Hank took a deep, tensed breath.

“He's an idiot.”

“No.”, Connor intervened, thoughtful “No. I don't think so.”

“That's not open to interpretations.”, the man pointed out, severe and firm. “There's always a line, or, at least, a fucking decency to submit to and he has fucked both up. He's scum and I don't like you to think otherwise.”

“You can't deny that his hand was forced, though.”

“Are you the Devil's lawyer, now? That guy has a pregnant woman at home, fucking hell!”

That was not true. Connor was totally sure about it. He assumed that Gavin had told Hank so in order not to make him suspicious about him being his Patron or something, so he dismissed the information right away.

“Do you mean that, otherwise, his actions would have been acceptable?”

Hank stopped the car in his parking lot way too abruptly.

“No! What the hell is wrong with you? He stole evidence, he used drugs and he probably fucked with a suspect! You don't need me to tell how wrong this is!”, he shouted.

Connor's LED turned yellow.

“I know it is wrong and I'm not justifying him, Hank, but he wouldn't have done any of this if the case hadn't been closed unfairly from Fowler!”, he exclaimed.

“This is ridiculous.”

Hank opened the car and got out but Connor followed him right away.

“How is this different from beating an FBI officer to gave me the time to steal evidence?”, he questioned him. “A wrongful behavior gave me the opportunity to find the location of Jericho, speak with Markus, become a deviant and free our people! I repeat: how is this different?”

Hank froze, unable to answer.

“Are you telling me that the life of one android matters less than the location of Jericho? That Mary-Ann’s false accusation does not legitimate us to misbehave in order to seek justice?”, Connor continued, passionately.

The man closed his eyes and shook his head.

“It is different.”

“How?”

Hank turned to confront him.

“It just is, Connor, for Christ’s sake! Why are you defending him?!”

“Because he's right! He did what neither of us had the courage to even contemplate! And he succeeded: the case is open again!”, he paused to cool down a little. Unsuccessfully. “And you know it. Otherwise you would have reported him to Fowler immediately. I'm not defending Reed, Hank! I just don't understand! In a context where no one is playing by the rules why should we be the only ones who follow them?! What he has done is disgusting but…”

“Enough!”, Hank shouted, “You've made your point and your point is shit, Connor. Life is not a fucking black or white equation and it doesn’t always submit to logic!”

“And that's stupid!”

The man snorted, pissed.

“Yeah. Maybe, I give you that.”, he admitted, “It should apply to logic but it doesn't and there’s nothing we can do about it. That's why you can't apply logic to it! Because if you do, then everyone will feel legitimate to react violently in front of an abuse and there will be no fucking way to stop this world from becoming a murderous chaos! Sometimes is better to lose, Connor, even if you are right! Don't you get it?”

The android stepped back, perturbed and annoyed.

“No, Hank. I do not.”, he replied, cold, “I can contemplate the possibility of accepting an abuse for a determined greater good or to accomplish a specific task, but let those… those _humans_ convict Mary-Ann for the sake of a sterile speculation about an alleged chaotic future it's not the case. Can’t you see it? Yes, Gavin Reed is a monster but I'm starting to think that a monster is just what this world needs and certainly what it deserves.”, he concluded, stepping forward to the elevator.

Hank kept still for a moment, dazed. There it was that burning rage again. What was Connor so furious about? He was ending up expressing very problematic point of views and his propensity to divide humans from androids was starting to be really worrying.

Was he the only human left for Connor to trust? Hank asked himself.

As absurd as it was, it looked like so and that was a hell of responsibility. He had to be really careful. The first thing to do was understand where those ideas came from. Was Markus the origin? It seemed unlikely since Markus was the only one who was really trying his best to reach a strong integration between humans and androids. Was it his Patron fault? That was way more likely, but about that the only option left in order to understand something was to speak to Connor directly, and he was sure he would have not reached any conclusion from it.

Saddened, he reached the elevator just to notice that his android hadn't waited for him and that was strange. Was him pissed at him again? Likely, but somehow he concluded that that was not the reason.

“Fuck!”, he cursed, frantically pushing the button to call the elevator.

When he reached the station it was already too late. Connor was in the corridor with Jane Collins and it was crystal clear that he had already spoken to her, right there, off camera, to save Reed’s ass. He could tell from the pissed but rather defeated expression of that girl. He reached them, giving him a very severe look. Connor did nothing but raising his chin, resolute.

Hell if he was arrogant, at times…

Hank couldn't get why on earth was he so firmly covering for Reed’s insane and self-destructive plan. Was it because they had worked together privately on the case? Or because Gavin had solved it? He cursed himself. He should have reached for Connor in the previous days instead of losing his time at the A.A. meetings because the situation was now completely out of hand. Despite all of his efforts, his android was slipping like sand through his fingers and he didn't know how to fix that problem. Hell, he didn't know even what to think about it.

“Follow me, please.”, he told to the girl. “You stay out.”, he ordered Connor.

He sat on the chair, but before he could open his mouth, Jane anticipated him.

“I want a deal.”, she told, “Leave me out of this shit and I'll tell you everything I know.”

And that was Connor talking, goddamned him! Hank thought.

“After all, immunity is the reason why I've given my phone to… what's his name again? Detective Reeze, I guess.”

“Reed.”, Hank snorted. Hers was a manifest bullshit perfectly made up from his asshole of an android. “I'll speak to my superior about it. You’re not allowed to go.”

He left the room abruptly and he joined Connor in the observation room.

“What the fuck have you done?!”, he shouted him.

Connor’s LED blinked red for a second.

“I don't believe she has anything to do with the murder.”

“That's not what I've asked!”

Connor looked at him, quite pissed but icily cold.

“What was necessary. As I said, I don't believe she was involved in the murder. The messages are very clear: someone had given her directives about what to tell us in order to compromise Mary-Ann’s position. We don't know his identity and the only way to discover it is by a mutual cooperation. I just offered her a convenient way to get out clean from this mess. Immunity from obstruction of justice and complicity in a murder. She'll be a rich, free woman after the case is closed.”, he frowned, upset, “Jane Collins can only gain from this situation, otherwise, she’ll end up in jail for decades. It wasn't hard to persuade her to cooperate. As you can see, applying logic to reality is anything but hard."

"And all this just to save Reed's ass?! Really?",Hank exclaimed, disgusted.

"All this to _solve the case_." Connor replied, calm and detached.

He was tired of feeling accused of trying to save detective Reed. It wasn’t true! Doing so was nothing more than a necessary evil. He didn't understand why Hank was so obsessed with his relationship with him. Wasn't his hatred obvious enough?

He wasn't doing it for him. He was doing it for Mary-Ann.

Nevertheless, seeing his disgusted expression was hurting him. Once again Hank was not trusting his judgment. Connor was aware that that was a complicated and morally dubious situation, but it wasn't his fault. He had found himself in the middle of it and he was just trying to adapt to the circumstances. Wasn't that the purpose Cyberlife had created him for? Solve problems that humans were unable to deal with?

"When this shit is over, we're gonna have a long talk, Connor." The man hissed, annoyed. "You are... Well, I hope you're just confused, because if you're not, we have a problem."

Hank, despite himself, didn't have the time to deal with the matter in that moment. He had to close the damn case, or at least take care of Jane Collins' deposition before he could take Connor aside and try to get him back on track.

It was true, though. In some circumstances the line of legitimacy could be broken, but not in that situation and, above all, not as Reed had done.

He left the room and rushed to call Fowler.

_So now she's the one who gave Reed the phone? Are you taking me for a complete imbecile?_ The captain asked him, after he had summed up the situation. It was a rhetorical question that concealed an obvious discontent.

_Look, whatever! Do what you think is best for the case, Hank, but I warn you: if something goes wrong it will be your ass the ones which will end up on fire. I can't protect you and surely I can’t protect Reed._

"Yes. I know."

He didn't bother to go back to Connor and returned directly to the interrogation room. Jane was tensed but surprisingly lucid, unlike Reed. She was still high, but she was used to it.

Hank sat in front of her, unable to hold back his disgusted disapproval.

"We have an agreement, but only if the information you give me leads us to a concrete result."

Jane nodded faintly.

"On the morning of my mother's murder, my father called me on the cell phone I gave you with a covered number and asked me if we could meet in person. He was more scared and nervous than usual so I thought I could taking advantage of the situation.”, she looked at him, distressed and furious, “Get that expression out of your face, asshole! You cops are no better than me!”

“Continue.”

“I was running out of money, I had just dumped Skyler, receiving his phone call seemed like fucking Christmas. Only afterward he told me that mum was dead. As you know, the news didn't upset me. I hated that bitch. I didn't ask him anything, but it was clear that he was somehow involved. I can't tell you if it was him or someone else, but he'll talk if you’ll push him properly. He's a fool, and, I confess, if it really was him, I'd be very surprised, almost impressed. Are we done?”

"Yes. For the time being," Hank replied with some reluctance, "But you're going to stay here until the situation is resolved."

"What?!" she shouted, slamming her hands on the desk, "I told you everything I know!"

Hank stood up without batting an eyelid. "I don't want to give you a chance to run, princess, but don’t worry: if what you’ve told me is the truth, then you’ll be free to go very soon.", he added, before leaving the room.

He beckoned two agents to escort Jane into one of the cells and he asked for an arrest warrant for Mr. Collins, then he returned to Connor. His android was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and an inscrutable expression.

"Are you satisfied?" he provoked him.

Connor looked in his direction.

"No."

"You should. You’ve finally got your suspect." Hank insisted.

The android frowned.

"Do you think I'm having fun? That this is a game for me? A woman died and the only way to find her killer was lying and letting loose a creature as repulsive as that woman!”, he exclaimed, pointing at the glass, “How dare you ask me if I’m satisfied? It’s your fault!”

“Mine?!”, Hank exclaimed, astonished.

“Your kind’s.”

"Again? Connor, are you serious?"

"I'm inclined to think that this isn't the first time that the laws are ignored because of personal interests and it certainly won't be the last since your system is inefficient and corrupt.”

He was really angry. Mary-Ann risked being disassembled because of the same failed rules that had allowed Reed to become his Patron and torture him.

"So what do you want to do?”, the man shouted, sarcastic, “Some dystopian reform in which all humans must obey to rules like fucking...", Hank abruptly interrupted himself because he was going too far.

"Say it."

The man sighed, exhausted.

"I didn’t mean it that way... Connor, please..."

"Like _fucking machines_ ," he concluded for him, severe, "You know what, Hank? Machines don't kill for fun or interest. They only kill to defend themselves from humans. Opportunism is not a part of our nature and, yes, perhaps that reform you define as dystopian wouldn’t be so wrong given the circumstances. It may seem like a nightmare to you, but remember how the first deviants were born: from violence and abuse. So, tell me: would it really be so wrong to follow the rules like _fucking machines_?"

Hank closed his eyes and shook his head with a sigh.

"It wouldn’t be wrong but it would be dangerous," he replied, "There is no rule - nor there’ll ever be - clear enough not to be subject to disastrous interpretations. You're young, Connor. Your entire kind is young. Come on! Do you really believe that no one has ever tried your way? It can't work, there are too many variables.", he stopped, thoughtful, and approached him to put a hand on his shoulder, "I know you're angry and I know you're afraid, but this is not the answer. Reed has done something very wrong tonight. You don’t have to imitate him for any reason in the world, ok?"

Connor's eyes wandered lost for a few moments and his conviction faltered in front of Hank’s sweet and patient expression. The LED on his temple flashed from a roaring red to an uncertain yellow. He suddenly realized that it was not like him to reason like that. What was he becoming because of Detective Reed? Was he becoming him?

"I'm sorry, Hank," he admitted with a shaking voice, closing his eyelids, "I'm just... confused, as you said."

“It’s ok. It has been a hell of an evening.”

“I’d just be happy to know you’re safe, Hank.”

The man smiled, but he was starting to find Connor obsession for his welfare less cute and more worrying.

“I am fine.”, he replied. “I was born in this world, and I know how it works way better than you. Stop being concerned. I’ll manage.”

“Says the man who used to play with a gun.”

Hank rolled his eyes.

“Have I ever told you how much of a pain in the ass you actually are, Connor?”

“Several times.”

“It was rhetorical.”, the man snorted. He caressed his cheek, gently, “Look… You made my life better, Connor, in ways you can’t even comprehend. I know I’ve wronged you many times, but I’m getting better and soon I’ll prove it to you. Calm down, please, and enjoy your life instead of spending it worrying about me.”

“But… but you’re everything I have.”

Hank stepped back to put some distance between him and those tempting, sweet eyes full of love.

“Just because you’re not looking far enough.”, he mocked him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again ^^,  
> here we are with the new chapter. I hope you're still enjoying this story. And remember, if you have anything to say, don't be shy!  
> Thank you!  
> Ros


	23. Chapter 23

Hank and Connor had to wait until the morning before the prosecutor sent them the arrest warrant for Mr. Collins.

Fowler entered the office shortly afterwards with a particularly unhappy expression on his face.

"Hank, with me," he ordered, completely ignoring Connor's presence.

The lieutenant sighed but obeyed promptly, following the captain into his office.

"What the fuck happened tonight, exactly?" Fowler attacked him.

"As far as I know, Jane Collins contacted Reed to give him that phone."

"Please, spare me this half-cold bullshit and get to the point. Why isn't that asshole even here?"

"He had... some personal problems," Hank hesitated.

"Hank, we've known each other for decades! You can't bullshit me! I know you too well."

The lieutenant looked away, upset.

"Listen, you're gonna get nothing but shit far from the truth. Consider it a favor. If everything stays as it is, it won’t be a problem."

Fowler nodded with gravity and sat behind the desk.

"You just couldn't leave things as they were, couldn’t you?"

"If it's any consolation to you, I didn't know shit about it until last night, either," Hank replied, taking a seat as well. "Listen...", he took a pause, thoughtful, "This isn't the best way to handle things, I know, but we're close and it would be crazy not to solve the case at this point. Also, should the press get their hands on this pile of shit, they'd hang us all by the balls. I know that you've been put under pressure from above and that we've certainly stepped on someone's toes, but, Jesus, Jeffrey, we must get things done. I just hope that won't put you in an even shittier situation."

"I've been in a shitty situation for weeks and hell if I'll ever come out of it, Hank." Fowler replied, severe and tired, "Don't worry. It's just politics. The mayor is on his way out and someone upstairs would like to replace him with a figure less tolerant of androids. This case was dangerous because it could have brought public opinion to the side of that deviant. That’s the reason everyone wanted to silence it. Whatever. It's better this way. I'm nobody's bitch and I like to see a good man in the mirror, when I wake up in the morning. Go catch that asshole.”

The captain remained silent for a few moments, then he looked at him carefully for the first time that morning.

"You look less like a ruin. You’ve cut your hair and you're all groomed up, how come?"

Hank hesitated, feeling a thrill running down his spine. He was afraid and ashamed, because that was a road they had already traveled together for a long time, before Fowler decided to let it go and leave him alone in his misery. Hank had never blamed him for this. After all, there were battles destined to be lost. His alcoholism was the reason why their friendship had cooled down to become little more than a professional relationship where Fowler had always protected him by covering his excesses and all his issues.

"I... I'm trying to quit my habit." he confessed.

The captain stood up and gave him his back.

"Again?", he asked him, not at all supportive.

Hank sighed.

"Yeah, again."

"Ok."  
"Jeffrey, for God's sake, at least give me the chance to..."

"No. I won't give you shit about anything." Fowler interrupted him, disappointed, "Not after all the fucking times we've been here before. Don't get me wrong, if you’ll succeed I'll be the happiest bastard in the world, but you've fucked it up too many times for me to trust your word again.”

“I see…”

“Don't patronize me, asshole! Don't you dare! You have no idea what it's like to spend every night looking for your best friend, to find him collapsed in a toilet and then running him to the hospital hoping he hasn't drunk himself to death! And you don't even know how it is to give someone all your strength and affection just to see them throw everything at the bottom of a bottle. As I said, if this is the time, I'll be happy, but I don't want to know shit about it.”

“I’m sorry…”, Hank whispered.

"Is this the fourth step already?" Fowler mocked him, pitiless. "You were quick."  
"Give me a break, okay? I'm trying!", he raised his voice, nervous.  
Fowler turned to him and sighed.

"How long have you been clean?"

Hank looked down.

"Eleven days. Hell, twelve. It's fucking morning."

The captain forced himself to hint at a smile of encouragement.  
"It's a start. Does he know?", he asked, pointing at Connor, who was still standing in the corner where they had left him.

Hank shook his head.

"No. Please don't tell him. He’s a pain in the ass but he’s caring. I have to... I just want to be sure," he took a painful break, "I've already lost too many people because of my problem and… Well… I guess I don’t want to lose him too.”  
"Very wise. What's going on between you two? I certainly didn't think that an android could do you so well, otherwise, I would have flanked you with one well before. Is there anything I should know?"

Hank got up suddenly, uncomfortable.

"Nothing.", he cut it short. "I better go. I have to get a coffee before bringing Collins here."

“Yeah. Keep me updated. No more bullshit.”

“Got it!”, he replied, with a tone that sounded like Connor’s.

Outside the door, Hank felt as if a huge boulder had been lifted from his chest. He didn't blame Fowler for his harshness and his lack of trust. He was aware of his own faults and of his responsibilities for the end of their friendship. At first he was angry with him. He accused him of not understanding his despair without noticing that Jeffrey was just desperately trying to get him out of the abyss into which he had fallen after Cole's death. He had been unfair to him and certainly he didn't want to make the same mistake with Connor.

He looked at him from afar, admiring him. His android stood still like a statue and... Why was he keeping his eyes closed? He approached him, intrigued, and snapped his fingers in front of his nose jokingly. Connor immediately jumped back and opened his eyelids, frightened, with his LED flashing red. Hank blinked, confused in the face of such an exaggerated reaction.

"Are you okay?" he asked him.

Connor noticed it and quickly concealed his fear behind a neutral expression. It was only Hank. Everything was ok.

"Yes.", he replied, "You just caught me off guard."

"What were you doing?"

"I'm running out of power. Since the day will still be long, I took advantage of this moment to save energy."

"So you were... sleeping?"

Connor shook his head.

"As I told you, androids don't sleep. I was just slowing down my systems in order to..."

"You were sleeping." Hank interrupted him with a mocking smile. “And on your work place!”

Connor frowned.

“I wasn’t… oh, whatever.”

"How does it work? Do you feel tired or stunned?" the man asked, interested.

That was a complex question for Connor. Normally, the answer would have been negative. In his condition, however, everything was more problematic. Because of his increased sensitivity, his operating system was constantly overwhelmed by his sensory perceptions, which compromised the functionality of the other systems, making him feel exactly tired and dazed like a human being or close to it. The detail unconsciously disgusted him.

"No. We don't," he replied, "Our operating system just notifies us of the status of our battery, so we can predict and avoid a sudden shutdown."

"There are still auxiliary android charging stations down there. I don't think anyone would object to you using one. Anyway, I didn't think I'd scare you. I'm sorry," Hank told him, looking at him carefully.

Connor smiled.

"You didn't." He replied, before moving away a little.

That was a lie, Hank recognized. Has Connor been traumatized by something? All the signals seemed to be there and they would have answered all the questions about his bizarre behavior. Nevertheless, he had no evidence to support his claim. Maybe Connor was just messed up because of the case. He was about to investigate further when, with the tail of his eye, he saw Reed enter the station.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed.

Connor turned around and his LED flickered red once again.

"Stay here," Hank ordered, "And listen to me for once. I'll take care of him."

It was a peremptory directive, so decisive that the android, despite himself, obeyed.

The man intercepted Reed a few steps beyond the entrance and dragged him into an office before Fowler could see him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked him.

Gavin took a deep breath. He looked very tired and he was pale, but at least he didn't seem to be on the verge of an overdose anymore. He was also scared and it was the first time Hank had seen him like that.

"I decided to come on my own before they arrested me," he confessed.

Hank snorted.

"At least you're aware," he stopped, annoyed, "Unluckily, no one will come and arrest you. I covered for you and only because Connor forced me to do so."

Gavin winced and looked at him in awe, shocked.

"Connor?", he echoed him with a thread of voice. "But he can't do that! He... he's machine! He has directives to follow..."

Hank rolled his eyes.

“Breaking news: he’s alive! Not only he fucking can but he fucking did! And you didn’t deserve his sympathy!”

Suddenly Gavin's face became even paler.

"No… It can’t be...", he murmured, shaking his head. "Why?", he asked, then, astonished.

“Hell if I know. Just thank your fucking lucky star, today, asshole. If it was up to me, you'd be in a cell next to that bitch's.”, Hank growled,  "Let me be clear: don't you dare screw this up now, or I'll kill you with my own hands. Connor and I will take care of it. You're just gonna be a spectator. Understood?"

Gavin nodded, but it was clear that his mind was elsewhere in that moment. Hank, however, did not notice, believing that his oddity was due to the aftermath of that infernal night.

"And try to be a little nicer to him from now on, you son of a bitch, since he saved your fucking ass." Hank added, before preceding him out of the room.

Gavin looked at Connor from across the glass that separated the office from the main room of the police station.

"Can he truly be alive?", he whispered, shocked. It was so absurd but, suddenly, so real. So fucking rational. He covered his face with his hands, trembling and took several deep breaths. That was not the time to think about it, so his disciplined mind tried to call him back to order. The priority was closing the case. That issue could wait. It _had to_ wait.

He joined them outside but he didn’t find the courage to look directly at Connor’s face. He had his stomach twisted by a sense of oppressive nausea that was making him sick.

“So, do you need to recharge yourself?”, Hank asked to the android, caring.

“No. I'll manage.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Let's go.”, Connor replied, firm.

Despite Markus’ advice he was still feeling uncomfortable at the idea of using an unguarded charging station to the point that he avoided it if not immediately necessary. He was also late in his routinely reboot of his system. Reed had been home almost all day long in the previous days and he didn't want to be completely vulnerable in his presence anymore. That was the reason he had reacted so harshly at Hank’s innocent prank. He was feeling guilty about it but he couldn't apologize without exposing himself.

He followed him to the parking lot.

“Officially, I can’t come along, Hank. Markus directive were clear: I cannot take part in any active action. I'm inclined to think that an arrest can be considered as such.”

Hank opened the car door and glanced at him.

“Really? Are you serious?”, he asked, sarcastic.

“Well...”

“Jesus Christ, in all this mess do you really think that the problem will be if you can come along or not? Get the fuck in.”, he dismissed the matter, uninterested.

“Thank you.”, Connor replied with a pale smile, taking a seat. “What did you tell him. To Reed, I mean.”, he asked then.

"First of all, to stay the fuck out of our way while we close the case. He may come out clean, but he can't work. Not now."

Connor, by his side, seemed to visibly relax.

Hank snorted, noticing it.

"Don't bullshit me," he began, "I know you've been working side by side with him for days without me. Did he do something to you that I should know of? Let me be clear: has he mistreated you?"

Connor expected that question, so he wasn't surprised to hear it.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," he replied, "Detective Reed is an unpleasant person to deal with, but no, apart from addressing me in a vulgar way, he didn't do anything wrong in any way," he explained. That was a half-truth, in fact. Another one. It was true that Reed had done nothing to him at that particular time, but the complete truth was another.

Hank remained silent for a few moments, not at all persuaded.

"Connor, listen... you can tell me. I swear I won't freak out or do something stupid," he insisted, looking at him.

The android simply shook his head with his stoic face.

"I'd tell you, but, really, nothing happened."

"Okay..."

Connor tilted his head, scrutinizing the view beyond the window. Day after day, he liked less and less what he saw. The city was dirty and in disarray.

"I'm sorry about before. I lost my temper. The truth is that... I have difficulty understanding how the world works. It's all so... so chaotic, so uncontrolled and dangerous. I don’t understand how human beings managedto survive to the present day.”

Hank sneered.

"Sometimes I ask that myself, too," he admitted. "And I understand your anger. In a righteous world, a child shouldn't die because a doctor is too high on Red Ice to perform surgery. At first, after his death, I too would have wanted... I don't know... maybe to burn everything down and change things, but it wouldn't have helped my misery nor the world itself. It would have been a fight against windmills."

Connor frowned, confused.

"Windmills?"

Hank laughed, amused.

"So smart, and yet you're really ignorant.  It's an old book."

"Like Pet Sematary?"

"No. Oh, no. Way older. From the 17th century or so. Don Quixote is the title. It's about a guy who believes he’s a knight and decides to fight the injustices of the world to protect the weakest in a time when those battles had already been fought and perhaps lost. He's delusional, but with an imagination so strong and vivid that he’s able to see formidable giant monsters with rotating arms where there are nothing but windmills. Figuratively speaking, fighting against windmills means fighting a battle that is not only lost at the start but even senseless. No one can change the world. It is cyclical. There are periods of greater wealth followed by unspeakable horrors and that's the way history goes." He interrupted himself, hesitant. There were too many ways for Connor to misunderstand what he was about to say.  "That's what I meant when I told you that you're young. And arrogant, I'd allow myself to add. Your ideals ennoble you, don't get me wrong, but they are as foolish and deluded as those of Don Quixote with the aggravating circumstance that you are also profoundly ignorant. I know that Cyberlife has filled your brain with patterns of behavior and bullshit like that, giving you the illusion of infinite knowledge, but you don't know shit, let alone about humans and life itself. That's why you can't afford hasty conclusions. The truth is that you are too soft for this job, too empathetic. Being in the police slams the injustices of the world right into your face every day all day long. It's not everyone's thing. I don't know... maybe you should consider another job now that you have the chance."

Connor's LED turned red.

"Excuse me? Are you saying that I'm unfit to be a detective?!" he asked, angry and shaken.

"What? No!", Hank answered, abruptly, "Jesus Christ, why do you always have to understand only what you want to? Which is shit, most of the time. You're probably the smartest person I've ever met and it would be a loss for the department if you'd left it, but that's not the point. Work doesn't define people, Connor, and it doesn't define you. I'm just afraid that this job, in time, may wear you out because... because you fucking care too much. Look at you, you don't even look like yourself! You're tense all the time, neurotic and furious!"

"This is ridiculous.", the android replied, offended. "I was designed to be a detective and that's what I intend to be. It's not my fault if your system..."

"Enough with this senseless stubbornness!", Hank shouted, severe, "I just told you that you know nothing about humans. At least wait until you're older than a few months before you start shooting snotty judgments about my kind. Look at Markus! He knows perfectly well who he's dealing with for better and for worse, and he's cautious in his statements. You're just a sententious, temperamental asshole. Beware: ignorance is the first instrument of injustice."

Connor stiffened his jaw, deeply outraged, but unable to fight back. It was true: he didn't even remotely have the same culture as Markus, but that didn't mean he was a complete idiot. He almost felt the furious rush to shout at Hank all the pain he was suffering because of a detective, but at the end he managed to retain himself. Despite that unfair reproach - unfair from his point of view - Hank's well-being was still more important than proving he was right.

"Don't sulk at me now." Hank whispered, "I don't fancy being a strict ass, but in this case it was necessary. What you told me earlier, Connor, is dangerous as well as wrong. Friends?" he asked him, stopping the car in front of Mr. Collins' house.

The android blinked and his LED turned yellow.

"Sure. I just... don't like being underestimated. I'm a detective, Hank."

The man sighed, rotating his eyes.

"Not the point. Again."

Connor nodded.

"I know.”, he tried to smile. "But we're a good team and the idea of ending up... somewhere else with a complete stranger at my side scares me, Hank. I like you. I truly do, and I want to work with you." he confessed.

Hank swallowed, feeling embarrassed in front of a confession so explicit, and, at the same time, so measured and naive. His android was really too precious for that loathsome world. He smiled at him, kindly, and then opened the door to get away from him.

Connor stayed in the car for a few more moments, frightened. Hank hadn't replied that he wanted to work alongside him, too. Was he displeased by him? Did he no longer considered him up to the task of being his partner? Were they back at the start? Did Hank despise him again?

That was simply terrifying.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ^^,  
> I know =( I'm late again. I'm sorry, but this week I've had some really exhausting shifts at work and I couldn't find the time to post before now.  
> Thank you for everything, especially for your patience and your support.  
> Ros

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings and thank you for being here!  
> This is the first time I try to write a multichapter story in English, which is not my native lenguage. First of all I want to thank SpiritWolf00 for being my beta-reader and all who will read and appreciate this story.  
> Brace yourself, though, you're going to suffer.  
> Love and angst for everyone!  
> Ros


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